Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I seem to have a surplus of SVSSS fans following me, so. Here. Fan fiction I wrote be upon ye. (Yes there will be more, I’m aiming for weekly updates)
Chapter is 3 is up! I’m doing updates every Monday lest disaster strikes
Chapter 5 has been posted
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I seem to have a surplus of SVSSS fans following me, so. Here. Fan fiction I wrote be upon ye. (Yes there will be more, I’m aiming for weekly updates)
Chapter is 3 is up! I’m doing updates every Monday lest disaster strikes
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I seem to have a surplus of SVSSS fans following me, so. Here. Fan fiction I wrote be upon ye. (Yes there will be more, I’m aiming for weekly updates)
The vast difference between Gwen and Alice’s handling of ‘externals’ is absolutely hilarious to me.
Gwen couldn’t get through a five minute conversation with Inksoul before calling them an idiot, while the person in question was tattooing a dead body. The only reason she didn’t die was Archivist ex Machina.
Meanwhile Alice has spent multiple days with Heinrich after she watched him disassemble a man via puppets, has even gotten him to cool it with the ‘spooky aura’ in a way that was polite enough he actually did it, and is parting with him on good terms.
All this being said if Lena had made Alice the liaison there would be a lot less issues.
Thinking about how the different MXTX couples would get married.
Luo Binghe and SQQ: we saw it folks, very low key. However if you don’t think Binghe loudly referred to himself as ‘Husband’ at the top of his lungs in every subsequent interaction with someone for months after, you’re wrong.
Lan Zhan and WWX: a family affair at the Cloud Recesses. It’s very simple but nice. Wei Wuxian insists on dressing up like a bride even though everyone assures him he doesn’t have to. Jiang Cheng is invited, no one thinks he’ll show up, but when he does he complains the whole time. Wen Ning cries. Lan Quiren cries for different reasons.
Hua Cheng and Xie Lian: a huge blowout in ghost city. Everyone they’ve ever met is invited. Hua Cheng invites Mu Qing and Nan Feng but the invitations refer to them as handmaidens for the bride. They’re both incredibly offended but show up anyway. At the wedding feast Xie Lian happily tells the assembled guests he cooked one of the dishes himself! But won’t reveal which one. The rest of the banquet is spent in constant terror. It’s Xie Lian’s wedding present to himself.
There is no stated reason why Paradise Manor is staffed solely by beautiful women, so let’s explore why that may be in order of least to most hilarious:
1. Xianle’s royal palace used to be staffed with beautiful ladies too! Hua Cheng has this staff because it reminds him of that.
2. Hua Cheng normally does not have staff in Paradise Manor. It’s his private place and he doesn’t need to eat and there’s not much dust in the ghost realms. He doesn’t need staff. However once he realized gege was visiting he hired the least repulsive ghosts he could find on short notice.
3. The ghost ladies all signed up for this job voluntarily in the hopes they could get a glimpse of (and perhaps seduce) the mysterious and handsome ghost king. They are going to be very disappointed in a year. Hua Cheng is unaware of how they feel, and if someone alerted him to the fact he wouldn’t care
Lots of people point out that moment where WWX claimed to be A-Yuan’s mother as a ‘Lan Wanji jealousy moment’ but I don’t see it like that. I think the joke smacked Lan Wanji upside the head with the image of a pregnant WWX and the man needed several seconds to reign himself in before he did something drastic.
We never really think about weird SVSSS is from Mobei Jun’s perspective.
You’re a prince in the demon realm, fighting to keep your place on the throne, standard stuff. Then some rando out of nowhere who apparently escaped a hell that no one else ever has is claiming he’s the new demon emperor. He kicks your ass so you believe him and try to make yourself useful.
Instead of going about gathering territory though, the guy goes undercover at one of the sects. Sure okay, you hate those guys. But then something happens and apparently his old teacher died? And this makes him more batshit crazy than he already was.
He sleeps with the guy’s corpse in the bed. All his new empire’s resources are going towards miracle cures. Some weird cultivator keeps showing up to fight him. You offer to take care of it but then he tells you not to, as he still ‘respects’ the sect. Weird.
Then the dead guy comes back to life and the emperor gets somehow even crazier. The world almost ends. Then it’s over, and the emperor drops off the face of the planet to go run around with his new husband teacher.
Also this entire time you’re trying to date your assistant. It’s going poorly.
I think the only reason Mobei Jun handled this so well was because his baseline for ‘weird’ is Shang Quinghua.
I think a lot about the fact Wei Wuxian’s instrument was a dizi.
A dizi is a peasant’s instrument. It’s not like the expensive complicated guqins the Lans use. Anyone can make one from a piece of bamboo.
I think that it’s very funny that the son of a commoner (who no one ever let him forget that fact) terrified armies and ruined sects with a very simple flute.
I bet the soldiers that survived the siege of the burial mound thought of him every time they heard someone performing in the town square.
Okay so we if we gotta break these characters down by DND classes
SQQ: While one may be tempted to say wizard based on how he relies on book learning (and his wisdom score is in the toilet) he doesn’t actually do much stuff with qi! Most of what we see him do in the books is obfuscate, act, and when necessary, use his martial ability. I’m going to go with rogue, specifically one of the charisma based subclasses
LBH: Super tragic backstory, powers inherited from his lineage, charisma based build— yeah he’s a sorcerer. And Xin Mo is the mega cursed magic item he will not put down and has never succeeded on a saving throw against.
Wei Wuxian: Now this is an interesting case because I think the answer differs pre and post resurrection. Before he died WWX was most definitely a Necromancer Wizard. He got his skills through study and not an internal magical source. Post resurrection though? I’m going to go with bard. He doesn’t have access to big fancy magic anymore and is mainly relying on dizi playing and small tricks he remembers. Fucker probably has his own special homebrew subclass
Lan Wangji: Paladin. Highly devoted, skilled with a sword, adheres to a set of rules— none of this is surprising. However, I would make the argument that Lan Wanji is actually an Oathbreaker paladin. On account of the whole… you know. Plus it makes him sexier. Win win.
Xie Lian: Monk. No question. Monkiest monk to ever monk. Doesn’t wear armor? Moves at crazy speed? Favored weapon is his hands and maybe a sword if he’s feeling fancy? Monk. Full stop.
Hua Cheng: Now you may be thinking swashbuckler rogue on account of how well he uses his sword and charisma— you could make a solid argument there. However, Hua Cheng’s true powers lie in his devotion to his God— therefore I’m going to go with Cleric. Anyone who says “nooo clerics are boring and healers and—“ have never had a trickery cleric in the party.
This PSA has been brought to you by a giant nerd.
People joke about how WWX looks scary but honestly?
Lan Wangji is dressed in the equivalent of funeral robes, has strange colored eyes and a terrible resting bitch face. Wei Wuxian on the other hand is in a body that’s twenty years younger, doesn’t carry a large deadly weapon, and has a bouncy personality.
If you asked a regular joe to identify the widely feared Necromancer out of the two of them, chances are they’d get it wrong.
The latest episode TMAGP has shaken me to my foundation. While the statement itself was great the situation is tragic beyond belief.
Imagine you have someone. You love them. They’re your baby shrimp, your best friend. You get married, and a month later the world ends. It’s a nightmare. But they’re there. Despite the hell you’re trapped in the person you love is there with you so it can’t really be hell, right? And then it’s over. After an eternity you hold the one you love and cry because it’s over. You’re safe. But the world crumbles around you both. But it’s fine because you’re together— Until they get sick, with something that you know could be fixed, you know could be simple and dealt with but instead it kills them. They’re in pain you can do nothing about until they die, pointless and helpless. You walked out of the apocalypse together but not the hospital. He’s gone. He’s gone and all you have left are nightmares and an empty house.
And then out of the blue one day he’s back. He’s standing in front of you whole and healthy and safe and it’s everything you ever wanted.
Except it’s not him. It’s a different version of him. He comes from a world where you never said your wedding vows, never lived through the end of the world. He’s him but he’s not yours to keep. He has a scar on his stomach that’s proof your soulmate could have lived. He talks the same walks the same but he leaves. He doesn’t even want to spend the night.
Worse. He doesn’t love you the same. He’s scared of you. He’s scared of what’s happened to you. He’s a stranger.
And from Sam’s perspective? You meet a version of your friend that’s so shattered you don’t recognize them at all. And it’s your death that caused it. To have to meet someone who’s grieving you? To see how much of a crater you left in their life? To be asked to stay but knowing it’s not really you they’re asking for.
Alexander J Newall I am in your WALLS.
Obsessed with Xie Lan as a character. Like I know everyone reads these books for the romance but the individual character concepts are hilarious.
Xie Lan is a prince. He eats poison on the reg. He’s forever stuck looking like he’s nineteen. He’s the oldest guy in the communication array. He knows kung fu. He dressed in drag to catch a ghost on two separate unrelated occasions. He’s the world greatest detective. He’s kind. He was forced into a trolley problem and chose to pull the lever. His cooking is awful to the point it could kill a god. He’s kind. He tried to give CPR to a ghost. He’s the unluckiest man alive. He’s been kicked out of heaven multiple times. He’s kind. He caught a kid from certain death and everyone was pissed at him forever about it. He regrets nothing but coming back to heaven.
I think it's just like that for all mxtx novels ngl
the svsss series,
Shen Yuan is literally just a dude. This dude hate read and frequently left hate comments on a shitty irredeemable webnovel because he feels "it had potential". He dies choking on spoiled food and wakes up as a villain from said novel and his immediate reaction is to panic and attempt leave. He cannot leave. He is in a constant state of what the fuck and oh god what is going on. Nobody else knows this because he's mastered the pokerface. He throws a disciple off a cliff and proceeds to mourn for several years despite knowing full well that said disciple is fine. He then proceeds to die again. It's fine he has a clone body. Oh look, someone decided to yoink him from that body into his old one! Does this count as a third death??? Also he blames everything on the author.
I think it’s just like
that for all mxtx
novels ngl
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
whenever haiku bot finds a post from a fandom I'm in (especially one I've reblogged before) I feel a little bit unsafe at night
I do think the fandom has the unfortunate habit of babifying Shang Qinghua, due to both shipping and crocodile tears. I personally like the fact he’s a stone cold shark.
This guy set up an event so deadly it killed a significant number of teenagers— some from his own peak that he trained personally— without any visible trace of remorse. SQQ spent years wallowing in the guilt of throwing his little sheep into the abyss, which he knew he would survive. Meanwhile SQH did that and an unknown amount of other shit without batting an eyelid. That man would sell you out for pocket change.
No wonder Mobei Jun thinks he’s hot. Murdering someone in cold blood must be the demonic equivalent of a sexy hair flip.
How I think each MXTX protagonist would adapt to technology:
SQQ: we all know exactly how this man utilizes the internet. It got him killed and he is not the type to learn from his mistakes
Wei Wuxian: this man would go on a Wikipedia deep dive that surpasses the Mariana Trench in depth. Three weeks in he’s learning how to code his own ghost detecting app.
Xie Lian: It is easier to teach your grandmother how to order a pizza online than explain google to this man. He just looks so kindly confused the whole time. Secretly, he understands it perfectly and is just playing a funny joke on you. He enjoys watching sword videos and sending outdated memes to Hua Cheng.
As for the love interests:
LBH: He loves the recipes, and the ability to keep track of someone else’s phone at all times. However he will fry that laptop in an instant if he thinks his Shizun loves it more than spending time with him.
Lan Wangji: He uses it for three things in order of importance: cute rabbit pictures, guqin music he hasn’t heard, and porn
Hua Cheng: he would quickly become obsessed with taking the perfect selfie. Xie Lian finds the trash folder on his phone and falls in love with all the reject pictures. To his husband’s horror he makes a collage of them and sets them as his phone background.
I love mxtx dearly but it’s clear she hasn’t owned a rabbit whenever she described Lan Wangji’s bunnies.
A pretty green field of rabbits that sit around like stuffed animals? Absolutely not. Those little farts are digging a maze of burrows under the Cloud Recesses. They also eat everything. They’re probably eating all the vegetable scraps given and then busting into the gardens on the property to boot. Chewing stuff is also a reality when you have an animal whose main asset is teeth that never stop growing. I’m talking all furniture at nibbling height. Priceless heirlooms with cute little bunny teeth marks.
I imagine no one calls him out on it though. If someone tries, he stares at them with those eyes of his until they remember they have other problems. His very expensive robes have their hems chewed off. No one mentions it.
An animal that seems very cute and mysterious which is secretly a little shit is actually very apt for him.
I’ve been silent on this for a while but I I cannot be any longer. Xie Lian is not a twink. That guy may have flawless skin and a baby face but he’s undoubtedly jacked. He’s a twunk, minimum on the twink to hunk spectrum. This man could bench press a boulder, his husband, and you at the same time if he felt like it. The only reason he wouldn’t is that he’s too polite and Hua Cheng would die (again) of jealousy.
