Red Star Falling

Writer, snarker, and all-around fandom fiend! Behold the blog I use for my writing and whatever other crap strikes my fancy. Ao3 Twitter Ko-Fi

[horsefriend]

This video gives me spiritually energy and power

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Me: Why does that horse look like it’s made of wet clay

Me: Oh that’s why

[tacomel420]

hot girl summer

[autumngracy]

On all levels but physical, that's a pig

[n00dl3gal]

Lost in the sauce

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

Absolute shenanigans

[herssian]

"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about

[allykatsart]

[distinguishedenthusiastcatt]

In Pride month, I think it's important to remind you of this iconic dialogue. You don't have to talk about who you are if you don't want to❤️

[would-you-punt-them]

let's not do it

[ursulaincorporated]

You know what I want more of? Non-sexual intimacy. In close moments between friends. The “I can’t do this alone”. The “I need help”. The wounds that need bandaged. The “I can’t change my clothes on my own”. The need for help with simple tasks for different reasons. Maybe a recent injury or disability means they don’t know how to shower yet and they need help.

I want that. Write me that. You say that they are as close as family so show me they are as close as family.

[filmgifs]

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995) dir. Beeban Kidron

[ottermatopoeia]

[monkeysky]

Minotaur is not a species

The Minotaur was named that because he was the son of King Minos. Anyone with a bull head has to be named after their dad, like the Kyletaur or something.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[wintersoldierfell]

hang on i gotta google something

[supreme-leader-stoat]

I am so sorry.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

do you think these people can read

[phoenix]

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

[the-big-mood]

Costco CEO Ron Vachris did the “CEO eats his own product” challenge by destroying a hot dog (and confirms the Costco hot dog combo is staying at $1.50 forever). LEGEND.

Show your unwavering support for Costco’s iconic $1.50 hot dog combo

Costco Hot Dog - T-Shirt (2 sided)

Your favorite $1.50 Kirkland Signature Costco Hot Dog, now on a T-Shirt!  American Apparel Mens Shirt Iconic AA classic tee shirt in our fin

[ruinedchildhood]

Most people know the warning from Costco founder Jim Sinegal to Costco’s previous CEO about raising the price of $1.50 hot dog combo: “I’ll f**king kill you.”

This exchange Sinegal has with the Seattle Times is better:

[oberstein]

[rogha]

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

[rogha]

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

[rogha]

bbc sherlock wants what i have

[stanfordgsb]

[baronfulmen]

[deadrosencrantz]

the original sin and the four horsemen

[socialistexan]

[vitabreva]

[themummersfolly]

How dare you leave this in the tags.

[tsunflowers]

they should have leftist infighting as an event at the next olympics

[loth-caatgirl]

no the fuck they shouldn't and it's liberals like you that are tearing us apart

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

holy shit, a gold medalist

[americanfrontier]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[cwudining-deactivated20181015]

A friend of ours worked in a movie theater.  One night, a rowdy little boy decided to kick over all the stands that held up the red velvet cords.

After several attempt to stop him, she finally declared, “If you keep kicking those over, your leg will fall off!”

No sooner had she said this than she looked up and was mortified to notice a man standing on a pair of crutches with one leg.

Before she could apologize, he looked down at the boy and sighed, “I used to love to kick those.”

The kid ran away.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I think a lot about who I am to other people in the world–particular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son’s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.

Amazing.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’M LAUGHING!!! THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHO I AM.

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me