The Bag

[owlmylove]

‪me, reading about women in Ancient Greece who could devote their entire lives to being a virgin priestess of hallucinogenic honey: god I wish that was me ‬

[catchymemes]

[kedamonokult-deactivated2023030]

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve seen all day. I don’t even know how to laugh at it.

[riversixx]

Whatever you THINK you’re about to see in this video you’re very likely wrong

[aurordream]

[1999gorl]

[no-mi-torta]

[toastbutteregg]

[thebroccoligoblin]

*snorts a line of lavender *

[mesopelagic]

did anyone else have the fucking. dolphin girls at school

[mesopelagic]

they were like horse girls except they couldnt ht gfbfnfbnfj eb do sorry a mojth started attacking me

[pondwitch]

hey idiots watch this *morphs into an ordinary fist-sized onion and never morphs back*

[pervocracy]

observations from urgent care

- People who exercise a lot get knee injuries from overdoing it

- People who only exercise occasionally get knee injuries from being unprepared for the exertion

- People who don’t exercise get knee injuries from being out of shape

- Maybe knees just suck

[xeppeli]

fuck it, i’m just gonna say it. english teacher who’s high key banging the history professor.

[thrillevans]

[stardustschild]

never i repeat never put on time warp at a party unless you want the theatre kids to destroy your house

[sneakyfeets]

a bold assumption to think I would allow theatre kids within even 500 feet of my home

[world-of-cats]

[sailor-crone-blog]

The comraderie

[firey-rising-demon-deactivated2]

When your kitty wants to be an outdoor cat but you live in a second floor apartment

[yashas-strong-arms]

rapunzel 2.0

[kingjaffejoffer]

im emotional rn

[d1rtypaws]

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

[charminglyantiquated]

hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right

[runwildwithme]

It’s “Smiling Girl, a Courtesan, Holding an Obscene Image” by Gerard van Honthorst!!

[charminglyantiquated]

It’s the best painting that exists

[kngmnmlst-deactivated20140523]

[eunnieboo]

so a few days ago i sat down for dinner and my mom handed me the camera with a strange look on her face. all she said was “you need to see this” and i was like ?? okay

but then

that is my dad with a pigeon on his head.

SO OF COURSE MY REACTION WAS JUST “WHAT?! HOW??? HOW” and APPARENTLY when my dad was outside gardening, he saw it land on the roof of our house. and then it just. flew down. and landed on his head

BUT NOW IT WON’T LEAVE

like the other morning i stepped outside to call my dad in for lunch and the pigeon was just sitting on the front porch watching him work

best friends forever