Alliestralia

Allison, 27. Massachusetts

[dimir-charmer]

Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say 'yeah but i should be fine :/ '

[orarewedancy]

So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.

So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day

[orarewedancy]

A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”

I live for this commentary fam.

[chrispineofficial]

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

[orarewedancy]

I feel the need to add a story to this? My co-worker brought his longboard to work, and one of the suit guys reminisced on how he used to ride pretty often. So Co-Worker and I were like, “Dude, go give it a spin, who cares, this mall is huge.” He was nervous about it because there are mall cops on segways everywhere (with helmets, like bruh, full on Paul Blart) and he was worried he was gonna get caught, and eventually we made a bet that he could ride down to Macy’s and back (it’s like a straight shot). So dead ass, this man hung up his jacket, took a running start, and zipped down the hallway with his tie in the breeze.

He evaded the mall cops and claimed that was, “One of the biggest rushes he’s ever felt.”

[me-choy-me-noy]

LOVING THIS CONTENT

[thestarwarsdaily]

Don’t try. Do.

THE BOOK OF BOBA FETT | 1x06 “From the Desert Comes a Stranger”

[memewhore]

[brink182-deactivated20120906]

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it. Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this. There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color. But, hey, at least it tastes good, right? High five, America!

[sensorydeprivationprincess]

oh my god

[lord-smaug-the-impenetrable-dea]

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 2012

[breathdeepseekpeace]

A classic

[caldraws]

this just makes me wanna get some nuggets from mcdonalds for some reason

[mannequia]

the fact op thought they could even get away with that blatant misinformation in the first place when the graphic they used was the fucking Tubby Custard machine amuses me like.

Even if you didn’t know what Teletubbies was that thing does not at all look like something you’d find in a factory, it’s colorful and colors cost extra.

[xsix8990-deactivated20260423]

that’s because OP’s post is a joke

I feel weird that I’m been here long enough to remember the original context–OP is mocking this post:

the picture clearly looks like some sort of strawberry ice cream, so OP did a copypasta of the original text and replaced with picture with something even funnier.

Both posts went around a lot, but it’s funny that the second, mocking post is now being reposted like OP is some kind of idiot instead of a comedic genius

[xsix8990-deactivated20260423]

the original post is actually still here: https://early-onset-of-night-blog.tumblr.com/post/1206666159/say-hello-to-mechanically-separated-chicken-its and apparently the original OP is a satire blog, anyway. So nobody was serious in the whole exchange

Early Onset of Night

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the

[raven-reconciling]

Getting new context for this ancient meme in the year of our lord 2021 is giving me whiplash.

[problematicselfie-deactivated20]

The absence of women in history is man made.

[jettestblack-deactivated2017080]

How petty

[skeptikhaleesi]

just look at babe ruth’s face tho

so confused

so lost

i love it

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

pure hater shit

[whatbigotspost]

Jackie Mitchell…a bad ass lady I had never heard of. 

[urulokid]

From her Wikipedia page: “Seventeen-year-old Jackie Mitchell, brought in to pitch in the first inning after the starting pitcher had given up a double and a single, faced Babe Ruth. After taking a ball, Ruth swung and missed at the next two pitches. Mitchell’s fourth pitch to Ruth was a called third strike. Babe Ruth glared and verbally abused the umpire before being led away by his teammates to sit to wait for another batting turn. The crowd roared for Jackie. Babe Ruth was quoted in a Chattanooga newspaper as having said:

“I don’t know what’s going to happen if they begin to let women in baseball. Of course, they will never make good. Why? Because they are too delicate. It would kill them to play ball every day.”

Next up was the Iron Horse Lou Gehrig, who swung through the first three pitches to strike out. Jackie Mitchell became famous for striking out two of the greatest baseball players in history.

A few days after Mitchell struck out Ruth and Gehrig, baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis voided her contract and declared women unfit to play baseball as the game was “too strenuous.”[5][10] Mitchell continued to play professionally,barnstorming with the House of David, a men’s team famous for their very long hair and long beards.[11] While travelling with the House of David team, she would sometimes wear a fake beard for publicity.”

TL;DR: teenage girl strikes out two of the greatest baseball players ever, teenage girl gets her contract voided, teenage girl plays baseball wearing fake beard

[naamahdarling]

These guys were so fucking injured by a teenage girl’s awesomeness that they literally threw a hissyfit and hung up a sign that said “NO GIRLS.”

They gave up.

They couldn’t handle it.

Losers. 

Teenage girls are amazing.

[pissvortex]

no… surely they wouldn’t…

[headspace-hotel]

No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don't care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD

[headspace-hotel]

Walks up to a guy working on restoring a native tree species to his downtown "why aren't you posting about grasses in Turkmenistan!"

[headspace-hotel]

The internet has taken a whole generation of bright, motivated, passionate young people who care and have big hearts and turned them into paralyzed, shattered wrecks too crushed by the weight of the world's pain to hand a pair of socks to a person in need

[afloweroutofstone]

Oh fuck yes Twitter is bringing back the 1970’s Maoist approach to gayness

[oysters-aint-for-me]

ok but hear me out- what if we just let them fix the economy and then stay gay

[moveslikebucky]

[thecrowssideblog]

Once they fix the economy let's tell them it was the global warming that made us gay.

[nerdygaymormon]

[anime--irl]

[cheatermcbiscuit]

Glad literally the entire notes section is on the same page

[swagpaws]

god i hate how normalized diet culture and shit like bmi and calories are. bmi is based on eugenics. calories are a measurement of how much energy something gives u and not at all of how much weight or fat ull gain. diets have been proven to be harmful and ultimately unhelpful in actually losing weight. fatness has been largely proven to not be inherently unhealthy and doesnt inherently cause health issues.

if anyone has more good links to add on then please do and if anyone knows more on this stuff than me then dont hesitate to correct me!

[more-beanies]

FOOD IS GOOD. FOOD IS GOOD. FOOD IS GOOD!! if you’re eating, ever, and even/especially if it’s hard, know that i am personally SO SO proud of you

[normal-horoscopes]

The BMI was invented by Adolphe Quetelet, the 19th century statistician who invented phrenologist anthropometry. He wasn't just a eugenicist, he was one of the founding fathers of racist pseudoscience. Please do not listen to anything he has to say about your body.

[uglymelon]

“And get this: While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national obesity rates (nearly 35 percent for adults and 18 percent for kids), the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as fat overnight—to match international guidelines. But critics noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs.”

Source: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/08/why-bmi-big-fat-scam/

Why BMI is a big fat scam

Body mass index is used to sell weight loss drugs, set insurance premiums, and counsel patients. There's just one little problem.

[batsandboba]

a dude dressed in all black and a motorcycle helmet just went by the curb at top speed on an electric unicycle and the lady on the phone next to me said “alex there’s some guy from the future here”

[batsandboba]

imagine going out in broad daylight with this much swag

[sandersstudies]

I realize this comment will have niche relatability but when I’m taking drive-thru orders I often “trick” customers into thinking I’m going fast when I’m actually going slow, then they pull up to the window all happy and surprised when their drink is ~*~*~Already Ready For Them~*~*~. It is a neat little magic trick where people see their time at the box as active and their time at the window as passive.

[sandersstudies]

Example: Two 1-minute interactions. I have this down to a SCIENCE.

1. Car pulls up. Seconds 1-15, barista says “what can I get started for you?” customer says, “a large white mocha, please.” barista says “okay, you can pull forward.” At second 10 or later, bar barista begins to make drink, customer is at window less than ten seconds later, drink takes at least 30 seconds to make even with a skilled barista. 10 more seconds for drink to be handed from bar to DTO, sleeved, handed to DTR, and handed to customer. (That accounts for our 60 seconds, about 30 of which customer was waiting at window.)

2. MY MAGIC METHOD. Car pulls up, I take longer to greet them if my bar baristas already have a lot of drinks. Full greeting might be like “It is a beautiful morning here at Starbucks, my name is Study, what delicious items can I get started for you today?” 10 seconds. Customer usually replies to friendly greeting with “oh, good morning!” or “Good morning, how are you Study?” These precious extra seconds mean other drinks are going out and my baristas are ready by the time the customer says “a large white mocha, please.” Maybe we are at second 20 at the time they start making the drink. I take my time to say “okay great [insert name if I know it], a venti white mocha for you today, very good choice. And you wanted the drink hot today, as well?” “Yes, please.” “Fantabulous, any food items or other drinks I can get started for you? [insert special promotion if there is one]” “Hmmmm….. no thanks, I think I’m good.” “Alrighty, so if that completes the order then it looks like your total is going to be $5.75 and I will see you ‘round that bend at the window, thank you so much!” “Thank you!” Customer NOW pulls forward. I just recorded myself speaking that entire conversation, wanna guess how long it took? You’re right, 30 seconds, then a few seconds for them to pull forward to the window. That customer is going to get to the window with the drink propped right in front of them and they are going to say “wow, you guys are so fast today!” There is no “wait” time. But no. I tricked them. We are no faster than any other day. You’ve been fooled. Deceived.

[augustdementhe]

No such thing as “unskilled labor”.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

[hollandershane]

[weirdness-is-good]

[totallyfubar]