Observed today:
Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.
Girl 1: can it die?
Girl 2, in a calm happy even tone: of course. Like all living things it can and must die.
$LAYYYTER
Noah Kahan
Jules of Nature
art blog(derogatory)
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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we're not kids anymore.

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@mongooseland
Observed today:
Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.
Girl 1: can it die?
Girl 2, in a calm happy even tone: of course. Like all living things it can and must die.
the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive
In other news, apparently Mitch McConnell is at death's fuckin door.
You know what to do, people.
Everyone in my notes right now:
The binturong of ennui
Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else
SUPER TOP SECRET WORK HACK!!! If you explicitly tell people, "You are an adult and a professional, I trust you to do your job; just keep me in the loop and let me know if there are questions," then thank and/or praise them when they accomplish your mutual goals? they will keep doing things for and with you. Sometimes they will even side with you over other people in the organization, because you've taken the time to establish that baseline respect and trust! hashtag winning or whatever
I just want to say this can work with kids too, mostly because of the 'respect' thing.
This past month, Parks & Rec has been doing a lot of work on the field adjacent to my school. They have trucks with flatbeds, mowing/tree-cutting/postholing machinery, etc. And when they arrived, I (campus monitor) was told I would need to herd the kids away from the trucks/machinery and basically prevent them from creating a dangerous situation.
So when recess came around and the kids stampeded out the door I held them up and I said (being funny but at the same time serious, you know how it is, kids listen better if you're funny)
"Okay, I know that you're all smart AND mature, right? And talented and good looking? Definitely the smartest and most talented class in this school? (I say this to every class, they're all 'my favorites'.) And because you're SO intelligent and mature, I don't need to actually TELL you that these guys have vehicles and machinery that you need to stay clear of, right? Because I know you figured that out already, and I also know that YOU know how sad I would be if any of you were run over, or squashed, or had a pole fall on you. I would be SO SAD, like, I would probably have to lie down on the floor and cry. So you're not going to make me cry, right? I can trust you to stay away from the trucks and machines no matter where they are on the field? Because you're wonderful and amazing? My favorites? My inspiration?"
And they're laughing at me of course, because I'm being so dramatic. Some of them are "Yes, and-"ing my dramatics and inventing more involved mourning processes I should undertake if any of them get run over. Some of them are yelling at me that they are NOT mature yet and they are VERY STUPID and I should know this.
It's been three weeks. We had one conversation about it. None of them have gone anywhere near the trucks. This is actually in excess of the typical elementary-schooler's working memory and I'm very proud of them. I haven't had to blow the whistle at ONE person for getting too close even when the trucks were literally 40 feet from the actual playground.
"I know I can trust you to do this", even when phrased with humor, is like a magic key that unlocks teamwork+cooperation.
I usually phrased it to middle-schoolers as, "I was a weird artist before I was a teacher, so I don't understand how children work, really. So I am going to treat you guys like adults unless and until you give me a reason not to." It's amazing how far they'll go to keep that adult status.
the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets
Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune
That last ROO always gets me
NEW PATTERN ✨
This one was outta my comfort zone, but MAN was it fun to stitch.
Get it here: pattern link
there's actually a secret eighth deadly sin and it's exactly like gluttony except for textile projects
I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit
tinder link in bio.
the replies:
*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?
I’m sobbing
I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves
her pussy
OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.
get back here and share that with the class
image description: tweet by madoka magicock @/rifflexielian, reading: my preferences for fiction often run dark but i genuinely cannot handle 'no one showed up to their birthday' 'no one showed up to their event they worked really hard on' etc. Just give me the cannibalism I can't do this shit man /end description
Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will
Ah ... allergies ... 🤧💐
i rly like how many electronic devices you can turn off by holding the power button down. its very intuitive to kill a thing by choking it
I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game