i dont want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Doug Jones
Noah Kahan
occasionally subtle
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
NASA
almost home
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EXPECTATIONS
Claire Keane
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@monologuemyself-blog
i dont want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening
hurt and wounded feel like crying what’s the need? for we’re surely dying
Sprung up, back arched, preparing for the hiss. Closer and closer and... bam! Darting in and out of the fire, one doesn't return the damage daring the other to creep closer, just a little closer and then. Ouch, dancing once again they catch eyes, the awkward silence carries on for more than a second. Both teams have supporters, someone to hold their banner. They stare on, waiting for the blood to be spilled. Quick as a fox, bushy tailed, legs stretched, ready to leap. Once more. High pitched squeals leave their mouths, defeating silence is a result. Faster than a cat, deadly like a snake. One. Two. One. Two. Nothing hits. She's injured, the other watches on; cautious. Unsure whether to continue scratching. Scratching. She scratches. Anger erupts turning the blank space into a battlefield. Swords and words flail, they hit no targets and return no bounty. Everyone is useless. Those two girls, angelic in nature and spiteful in thought. One so much more than the other. Spindling out of control, Medusa forces their faces inwards. Freeze. Their faces ruined. Words translate into sounds and cries. End. Deafening.
There may be a thin line between love and hate but usually it's painstakingly obvious.
The driveway up on that hill, a singular place where you can't control them. They'll run around and jump up on trees knowing that the driveway will contain their way home, they feel safe. Their safety is key to the nonsense of your plan, you wish to be able to scare their words and keep your wits.
Everything she taught you, she taught me too. I have grace, fortune and desire, you may have her, but believe me you are off no better. She will mistreat you, delete you from her affairs, it shall break you existence. You will wander what happened, how it went so deadly from so dauntless. They will all laugh at your side, they shall dance in your disastrous pity. Your friends will no longer exist. Your mistrust will consume you, I understand and I am better for it. I have grace, fortune and desire and it laughs in my face. Heed my words of the train running towards your faith, you will cry bloody murder when your wit is lost for nothing. Over an ill forgotten girl. You had grace, fortune and desire but then you stayed with her.
Star's view
He does notice, he does understand her pain. He knows why it hurts her, isn't it obvious? She can feel their troubles, the fake smiles that disguise the looming grimaces; a stalker of the prey that once was their happiness, or something that used to be a potential friendship now a covert and uninteresting affair. A bland feeling surfaces the whole estate. Please, he begs, constant affection is needed. He knows that she can feel it and therefore can't get close, maybe she doesn't realise they notice her. Maybe she doesn't understand it herself, the lust using camouflage to form love; a consequence of their doomed relationship.
Stardust's fallen
She's jealous at every expression, the dancing smiles that chase each other over every face. Between two lovers that are ignorant to her pain, not that they should be concerned she hides the obvious truth quite well. One might say that she doesn't want them to notice; revelling in her agony as it if actually makes her feel. To be quite honest she doesn't really know why it hurts, there is no real reason, no retribution can be found through causing problems out of stardust.
Oh Lara
Walking through the sunlight trying to find the darkest corner, not realising you can find it here with me. Don't you understand I can't hear the birds laughing I'm consumed in my denial. Please don't try and find me, I need to find the words to speak first, nothing left to explain but my destination. Lara can't you hear me? I don't want you to listen, but nothing else seems the same. Can't trust the movements, the sun blocks out the truth, consistency soars through the skies yet I can't witness it. Luminescent dying, it's crying at my tears, only need to change one gear and I'll be on track. Not that you care, oh Lara.
sly son
I want to be the fire, caressing every inch. I want to be the living, the living breath that starts the dead. I want to be the dying, Apollo's chariot is my friend. For you, art thou a pretty, pretty sly son.
The Mountain
Hope is cruel, the feeling you get from being hopeful is like none other. You feel uplifted, able to handle the world, because you are looking towards the light. Hope is tangled in front of you. Hope gives you no space to breath, you don't get to just assess the situation anymore; it doesn't work that way. You understand that when it happens, you understand that as people we are expected to be hopeful in the most dire situations. Say you are stranded, that for some unlikely reason, you are left alone on a deserted mountain. Snow so white that it makes you sick, it's pale complexion stares right back at you, in-between the eyes. Well, alone, on that god forbidden deserted mountain, you begin to lose hope. How would that make you feel, it would hurt you. A danger like no other, a sacred monument - your life - lost forever. For there is no hope to hold you up, up against the cold, bitter wind.
I feel like I can talk to you, yet you don't seem to hear in the same way. I feel like I could feel for you, you feel for me, but you don't quite reciprocate. I feel though you could feel for me, but it seems wrong and fumbled. All is wrong, I'm hurt, you fouled. But, not yet, it will happen I'm sure... But... Not yet.
Alistair's pain
"It hurts,"
"Splendid! Perfect, oh how magnificent! How serendipitous! Oh I must exclaim how much this triviality means to me! To feel!" Glancing up and down Alistair he began to see him for what he really was, a young boy. Pretty, soft blonde hair, encircling his forehead. He chuckled.
"Oh, but it hurts!"
"Yes! Yes! I know lad, of course it does, you're human, you feel," with a jerky fashion he began to make notes in an otherwise forgotten notepad that had previously been chucked behind the briefcase that leant, dangerously, on a huge stack of papers, he occasionally looked up to see how Alistair was coping. It seemed confusing to Alistair that a man could find pain so exciting, pain hurt. It certainly wasn't fun.
"This isn't pretend," exclaimed Alistair, he was becoming close to tears, a bruise forming around the small cut on his knee. It was impressive that he hadn't cried, in fact he was very amazed that Alistair hadn't cried.
"I want mum," he had resorted to demands, how trivial thought he. I don't demand anything, I don't even demand pain, no matter how hard I try I don't find it. Yet, this idiot, trivial boy seems to find it easily.
"How unfair! I must take the pain away," the boy, hearing this, outstretched his knee so the man could gain access to fix the cut more easily. Bumping into this man was a nice coincidence.
"No, no boy, that cut is meaningless! That pain is unreal, it's not that pain I'm going to take away," a blank stare met Alistair's eyes, confusion swept over his face.
"I... I don't have any other pain," said the boy, completely and utterly oblivious.
The man went quiet, emptily looking at Alistair, all previous thrill now disappeared. "Not yet, but you will,"
Let me down
Close the program. Look up. See what's around you. Who are you hurting? Now, walk around the room and glance at all the individuals that surround you. You may not like her, you may not like him, regardless. They do. And they should be important to you. They should mean something more than anything to you. Maybe more than that.
Remember, each person contains something new and fresh within themselves, the beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the dance is in the grasp of the mover, the heart is in the midst of us all. Behave. You are no longer young and stupid, you can no longer afford to be ridiculous and selfish. Or they won't like you.
I wrote this for you, you're lonely and alone. You're desperately seeking affection and desperate. You are not yourself, you are no-one.
Breath
He sprawls out next to me, face tilted so the sun caresses his cheek. I reach up by hand and carefully, so not to wake him, touch his perfect porcelain skin. He stirs slightly underneath my hand, groaning in his sleep. Dreaming, most likely, what about I couldn't tell you, yet, I wished I knew, wished I could see into his brain and see the clogs turn like clockwork. His chest rose every so often, as the breaths left him. I watched closely, in case he faltered, I had to make sure he didn't stop breathing. A silent cry on my behalf for comfort and protection, as long as he was here I would make sure that I was here too. Guardian, protector, leader, guide or troop commander, call it what you will I'm taking charge of this situation. Loneliness will eventually subside and I shall gradually regain the knowledge of my independence, I would never remember the longing I felt to feel your embrace. It wouldn't matter to me, for I now know who I am. Without you, and with you. I won't leave your side. Ever.
Toffee pots and vodka shots Dying hands, embracing long lost plans Sheltered skin trying their first gin And her Her smile a cascading silk, rouge lips forming words. Those words that do not matter, her sound is enough.
Growled noses smelling their last roses Cautious glares disappearing faster than hares My life dreads the reckoning, how fast come it's beckon call Silent peace she longs for, and I cannot provide it. How it hurts me
You make my heart sing. Only you could make the word death so beautiful, my eyes shine and my soul drops, the abyss of those who are most lonely. Salt tears lick my face; your face consumes me. I hate how much I love it. In comparison, nothing seems to mean anything. A desdemonian death would be so sweet to fall upon if the conclusion would be your hands caressing my dead carcass. And once again my sanity cracks at your 17 stars which shine from your greatness, a God in your own right.