i am already this old

30 yr old lesbian, complex queer character enjoyer. starting a blog from scratch in the very year 2025.

[ineffag-swag]

I guess I must have amazing taste because somehow everything that I like are things that I enjoy

[oolonghigh]

GREENERY IN A WINTER SUN WAKES THE WIND IN SPRING HILLS' DREAM / 寒阳风起春山境 (2026), EPISODE 3

[dykecinema]

What a beautiful world we live in

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Great quick rundown of the Thai monarchy for anyone interested

[slitherpunk]

but do you play shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less 🤨

[slitherpunk]

the thing about "I want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less and I'm not kidding" is that these games exist and are out there and you have to make the conscious choice to seek them out instead of just expecting the big companies to deliver this, because they will not

[thethirdromana]

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

[queer-crows-nightmare]

[maxknightley]

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

[maxknightley]

one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."

the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."

[rockstarcotta]

[knifelesbianjo]

[...] get me a frame of pretty green eyes again.

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT | "Toledo"

[cloudabserk]

[reticent-vampire]

[mellxncollie]

და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ / And Then We Danced (2019) dir. Levan Akin

[urboymutual]

daily affirmations: no body hate you. everybody niceys

[femme-4-butches]

Meg Allen's BUTCH series.

[hyeoni-comb]

how do I even put into words how I felt about episode 3 of Ticket to Heaven? I'll start with the two main moments I teared up/cried while watching: when Barth and Tanrak talked about Barth playing Joseph and Barth said, "I want you to be okay with it" + the final scene of the episode.

"I want you to be okay with it." — this was about more than Barth playing Joseph (and Gemini portrayed that so well). the way Barth subtly navigated this conversation with care felt so gentle I ached. he comforted and reassured Tanrak without outright saying anything that could feel 'incriminating' (depending on who's listening). the way Barth navigated the conversation made "I want you to be okay with it" feel heavier, land harder, and sound like: 'I want us to be okay. I want you to know there's nothing to worry about when it comes to Cherry and me. (I have feelings for you and) I want you to know I care.' then he said, "Don't read too much into it, okay?" confirming the question Tanrak refused to ask: 'do you like Cherry?' Barth is so loud and obvious in his efforts to connect with Tanrak, but he's so gentle sometimes in the way he approaches Tanrak's walls.

during the final scene of the episode though, that gentle and firm approach felt a touch more agonizing than it felt soothing. there's something about Barth's care for Tanrak butting up against Tanrak's repression, fear and self-denial that feels akin to watching someone flinch when applying a balm. but still, Barth continues. opens the discussion by acknowledging Tanrak running away from himself. asks Tanrak if he's hurt before asking if they can talk (as if asking if Tanrak would be willing to stop running). and it's so hard to lay yourself bare, the way Barth does, in front of someone who's so scared.

when Barth asked, "Will things never be the same now?" it kind of broke my heart. and though it almost felt like a small miracle when Tanrak opened the door, that ache soon returned when Barth's first words after their first kiss were "Are you mad at me?"

I do really love the way Barth continued to gaze at Tanrak's eyes after asking this question though. his gaze felt like this silent expression of care, of his need to know if they're okay.

then there's Tanrak who, on the other hand, can't stop looking at Barth's lips. continues to stare at them up until he says, "I'm not God's favorite son either." and it's right after he finishes this sentence that Tanrak finally looks up. there's something about that moment of prolonged eye contact that feels like solidifying the understanding passing between them. there's something about their eye contact in these last few moments of the scene that feel like the first layer of acceptance.

[aynsasnya]

the lord of the forest

[barthtanrak]

TICKET TO HEAVEN (2026) Episode 03, dir. Backaof Noppharnach