So, Iāve just recently seen a few videos on TikTok about people leaving their best friend of however many years because they started dating someone, and it just confuses the absolute hell out of me.
Like, a few women have posted about leaving their male friends because he got a girlfriend, and Iām just sitting here likeā¦ you donāt have to do that?
You shouldnāt have to break years (or even a handful of months) of your friendship off because he got a girlfriend.
I mean, I did see a few comments talk about how itās a ātrust thing,ā or something like that, but likeā¦ a trust thing for who?
If itās for the girlfriend, thatās a red flag, is it not? Like, the idea that she canāt accept that her boyfriend has female friends? The fact she doesnāt trust him to not go behind her back? Or even try to form relationships with his friends and get to know them better?
If itās for the guy, thatās also a red flag. As said before he should be trustworthy and loyalāhis affection for his girlfriend shouldnāt have to be called into question. The idea that there is even a sliver of possibility for that to happen is not grounds for a healthy relationship.
If itās for the friend, again, red flag. The fact youād go out of your way to pursue him if you didnāt break off your friendship is extremely muffed up.
Men (and women in the reverse) should be allowed to have opposite gendered best friends without the concept of romance just hanging over their heads for their entire lives, or needless petty drama of the idea that āoh they could be dating!! >:(ā when that thought has never crossed their minds.
Hell, even if they did used to date and broke it off, but still remained friends, that should be a sign that their breakup was healthy for both of them and that they wonāt plan to get together again. They were both mature and realized that a romance wasnāt something they wanted.
This entire concept just baffles me.
I mean, itās videos like those that make me paranoid that Iām the reason my guy friend hasnāt gotten a girlfriend yet. Thereās been so many points where Iāve just though that heād be better off if I just stopped being his friend, that maybe itād be easier for him if we never even met in the first place.
I just donāt understand why men and women canāt just be friends. There always has to be something, some underlying feeling that people just assume is there, when itās really nothing at all.
