not funny, just sarcastic

that's about it

[cursedpossums]

unrestrained summer fun

[inkskinned]

I have been thinking of the ways we tell people things. My father's hands shake, but he holds the phone up so I can watch the video from six feet away. My mother emails me the recipe of her beef stroganoff at 6 in the morning with the comment - woke up and didn't want to forget to do this! On the highway, we sing so loudly my voice grows hoarse; on the beach I sneak nice rocks into people's hands so they have something to hold, on the floor we all sit quietly in the same agreeable silence. We are all saying the same thing.

My friends say "Oh you know, keeping busy." This means they are having a hard time but making themselves survive it. I ask them to help me walk me dog; this is me telling them it's okay sometimes to just be present and talk about young adult fiction. When I cancel again because I can't get out of bed, she tells me she's on her way with cookies.

I point out the sunset. She shares her fork before I ask for it. He calls me at 1 AM just because I'm on the road alone, we talk about stupid shit. She waits for me to get indoors safely before driving away. He says - nah, forget it, I'm happy to do it for free.

People are saying it, you know? They say it often and loudly. Sometimes, you know - you just have to be listening.

[malewifenat]

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

[captainlordauditor]

same energy

[princesskuragina]

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[catradoraism]

[star-cats]

[justpeachit]

[mcarcanageek-deactivated2022052]

[alex-formerly-known-as-russian]

This site is free

[assoc-of-free-people]

They’ve constructed the social Tower of Babel

[blurrymango]

I love this stupid ffucking webbed site.

[thememedaddy]

me_irl

[cum-roll]

this is so stupid *hits reblog*

[noodles-07]

This is the content I signed up for on tumblr

[heart]

me, finally getting a chance to say something I’ve thought about for twelve days straight: oh, hey, that reminds me, funny thing, this just came to mind but

[notkatniss]

[aubrey-plaza]

okay everybody go home this is the best one

[prime-tiktoks]

[eddiedisasterdiaz]

[paintedvanilla]

earlier my friend said to me “somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, there’s an all female rock band called ‘king’” and I’m STILL recovering from that mental image and how gay it made me feel

[tysonrunningfox]

Bavarian Rhapsody

[phenomenaaa]

unbelievable

[avenging-fandoms]

my personal favorite

[evildilf2]

My most toxic trait is hating when other people are in the kitchen

[poetrylesbian]

My grandma made this post

[ambidisastrous]

For one family event, my mom had orange traffic cones blocking off the kitchen.

[hesgaypetra]

[counterpunches]

#i am begging you

[ghostalservice]

RENO MY RENO! Canadians fix people’s home improvement mistakes and are super nice about it but FIRM with man who don’t finish projects!

[mizufae]

so far some shows that have worked for me:

Lord & Ladles - scottish chefs cook historical feasts in historical mansions! you meet wacky old money people and learn about strange things their ancestors got up to! you get to watch as world-renowned chefs fail at catching a fish! someone makes a hedgehog out of marzipan! people in the olden times ate some crazy shit! every episode ends with the chefs cheersing each other while lying on vintage furniture!

Big Dreams, Small Spaces - cute british people have cute yards that cute gardening man helps to make into much cuter yards. one lady wants to grow vegetables to share with her neighborhood. one lady wants to sculpt a huge mud head covered in moss coming out of the ground. one dad wants a garden for his down’s syndrome kid so he makes a sensory garden with a thousand different smells and textures. one couple wants to grow flowers for their wedding. it’s all wonderful.

Nailed It! - a bunch of people probably got high and decided to throw money at this show idea. everybody tries their best and everybody comes away either having learned something helpful, having had a rollicking good time, or having won a bunch of money. all the judges are good sports and nobody is made to feel bad for doing bad. also there’s some fucking crazy shit they get up to with modeling chocolate i tell you what.

Skin Wars - actually a lot about artists and their craft??? not really at all about sexy ladies being naked??? very cool stuff done by people with atrocious fashion sense and a complete willingness to buy into the moment. a few bad apples but mostly the reality-show-ness is pretty toned down and people are there to make cool art.

A Cook Abroad - chefs go to different parts of the world and learn about food there. A dumb white guy makes bread with adorable egyptian ladies! A british man gets exhausted by the length of roads in argentina and is only recharged by steak! An awesome woman makes cheese in france!

Love Your Garden - british man does garden makeovers for wholesome deserving families with special needs. Maybe a little bit on the weepy side of things but his assistants are all great and have fantastic hairstyles and people in wheelchairs deserve flowers!

Puffin Rock - this show is supposedly for babies but it is SO PRETTY and SO CHARMING and it’s about animals and nature and stuff and doesn’t really completely shy away from that?? like, one of the characters is a little rodent and the seagulls are the bad guys and he’s actually afraid of getting eaten?? anyway baby birds sing songs with baby bunnies and play splishsplash with baby seals and snuggle with baby animals of all sorts in a beautiful hand painted island.

Animal Airport - hey did you know some crazy shit goes down in Heathrow?? Did you know that there isn’t rabies in the UK? Everyone’s doggies and kitties have a long trip but they all get home in the end and also there are turtles and cheetahs and bugs and fish and everything!!!

[mishafletcher]

this list is so relevant to my interests it hurts.

i’d also suggest the bbc historical farms series–it’s not on netflix, but it *is* mostly on youtube. the metafilter guide that originally introduced me to it is here. there are a bunch of different series of it, now, and each one is a group of archaeologists and historians living on a period location–victorian farm, they live in a farmhouse from the era, and they farm and raise animals and etc wearing period clothing, using period tools and sources as guides. and it sounds like it could be cringey, but they’re all experts in their fields and actually really invested in trying to do things well, so instead it’s a bunch of shows about teamwork and being friends (most of the core team stays the same) and learning things, and it’s delightful.

similarly, the sweet makers and victorian bakers have modern confectioners and bakers recreating period foods wearing appropriate clothing and using cookbooks from the era to guide them. (warning that one of the sweet makers episodes deals heavily with the history of sugar, and the slavery and horrific abuses associated with the same.)

[cleverclovers]

If you want something positive, somewhat peaceful, and food craft related to watch on YouTube, look up loftypursuits (they make candy if you’re unfamiliar) and manaboutcakes (I might have a bit of a crush on the host)

[chalkletters]

I need my Netflix to have this category.

While I’m at it, I need Netflix to have the ability to make, curate and share playlists. Why isn’t that a thing?

[ceekari]

@as-i-emerge

LOOK

[jumpingjacktrash]

i know it’s obvious, but: everything david attenborough ever did. it’ll be animals rather than people, except for one miniseries – ‘human planet’ i think? something like that? – but his voice is so soothing and kind and pleasant.

[wolffyluna]

I’m not sure if they are one Netflix, but the people who made bake-off also made ‘The Great British Sewing Bee’ and ‘The Great British Pottery Throw Down’  which are also good.

[redandpointy]

To this list I would add Grand Designs which is about people with HUGE DREAMS as homebuilders and how they make it work or don’t but it’s just lovely

[indynerdgirl]

Adding 

7 Days Out - might not be soothing for some people, but it’s a fascinating show about how huge events are put on and all the work that is done behind the scenes.

The Big Flower Fight - just like Bake-Off, but with flowers & florists

Next In Fashion - a nicer/friendlier version of Project Runway

The Toys that Made Us - history of iconic toys

The Repair Shop - people bring precious family heirlooms to a wonderful group of craftspeople who fix them. 

[reesa-chan]

Moving Art is a series that’s images of scenes from around the world, largely just shots of nature, set to music.

[aniseandspearmint]

No one’s mentioned Face Off! Face off is a 13 season reality tv contest where make up artists compete to win a HUGE cache of make-up, a trip, money, and legit job offers (and usually a car or something like that). No bullshit ‘for entertainment purposes only’ line in the contract, too.

There’s NO catty fighting. All the drama is in the skill! The contestants do not hate each other! They actively HELP if one of them is struggling.

The one time anyone tried any throwing under the bus crap, they were tossed out the door asap.

[hazeldomain]

Seconding the Repair Shop. It’s set in Great Britain and it’s like an 89 year old woman coming in with like “this is my teddy bear, he’s all I had with me in the shelter when the blitz destroyed our home. He’s…. been well loved.”

*bear is just a head and left arm attached by a dirty ribbon*

And then by the end of the episode the thing looks brand new and the lady is just crying with joy because of all the memories of when she used to play with her brothers and sisters.

V uplifting. It always looks great and it’s always good news.

[xelbleedsglitter]

I fucking love Face Off and I haven’t seen it in ages because I don’t have television. Someone tell me where I can watch it again, it was always so artistically inspiring. I loved that there was no drama, no nastiness, and just everyone helping each other make really cool things. I think it reminds me of art school, haha

[petermorwood]

Seconding @mishafletcher’s recommendation of the “(Insert Period) Farm” series - IIRC they’ve done Tudor, Victorian, Edwardian and Wartime. The same team have also done a series about building a castle, located at a site in France which is doing just that with period-only machinery and tech.

Ditto the Baker and Sweetmaker series. The second Sweetmaker episode, ”A Georgian Treat”, takes a justifiably hard look at the slave trade’s relationship with sugar, but IMO that’s better than a token glance before turning to something less upsetting. Under the carpet is far too convenient. It also looks at what might be the first ever “ethically produced” labelling for non-slave-produced East Indian sugar - and at how the powerful West Indian sugar lobby did their best to tax it out of existence. Sound familiar?

If you can find James Burke’s “Connections” series - if not YouTube, try Dailymotion - I give that two-thumbs-up as well. Some material may be, and probably is, superseded by more recent research, but Burke’s witty and entertaining pursuit of how things link together over centuries is well worth a look.

[butterflypeaflowertea]

love is so embarrassing . also the only thing that matters

[butterflypeaflowertea]

why are so many people on this post saying things like “oh so what abt aromantic people then 🙄” like um… stumbling as u give up your seat for an elderly lady on the bus. stroking your friend’s hair as they cry in your arms. someone you care abt making you a long lovely playlist of songs you might like. attentively listening to your sibling as they talk excitedly about something they care abt. the sound of hundreds of people in unison singing a song they love at a concert. someone peeling a clementine and saving half of it for themselves and giving the other half to you. letting your cat crawl all over you even though her claws are scratchy. sitting in comfortable silence with someone. the pride shining in your grandfather’s eyes when you facetime him and tell him abt what you’ve been up to. taking a sip of your friend’s boba. people grinning at you when u blow out the candles on your birthday cake… these things aren’t love to you? you guys don’t consider that love? really? truly?

[brolinjosh]

#an icon

[bonepoem]

all of you keep talking about how you want john mulaney and bo burnham to team up for a comic sketch but i don’t think any of you are prepared to see bo burnham at 6′5″ tall standing next to john mulaney at 6′0″ tall

are you really, truly prepared, for john mulaney to be the short one by five inches

[el-from-etheria]

sexuality: she’s so gone from lemonade mouth

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[lovelydeck]

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is my favorite version of this thread now