Mr. Asmus' Amazing Moccodities

A guy named Matt has a blog. I guess?

[memeuplift]

[athelind]

It's a d

it's a dus

It's a dust bu

[glowwormcentral-deactivated2021]

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

[hellenhighwater]

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

[toontwink]

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh hello you’ve returned to us

[hellenhighwater]

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

THE UPDATE WE WERE ALL HOPING FOR!

(apologies for the motherfuckery. also the ink, for those curious, is diamine oxblood)

[zxid]

collection

[fishlung8877]

[captainkupo]

[raptorific]

[slimetony]

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.

[sailor--spoon]

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

[conqueringthenoodle]

Thank god this is back on my dash in 2018

[playwrongs]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[kungfunurse]

yeah @sunderwight these tags are gold

[dreadwedge]

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

[dreadwedge]

mature content

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

*Columbo voice* So you were reading posts on Tumblr? Oh, that's a great website. My wife has an account on there. She showed me one about the color of the sky? Funny stuff. Although there is one thing, sir. How could you have been reading a post when no one on Tumblr has any media literacy?

[chrownox]

oh yes, i remember now. i was reading my own post i had just written. i'm a stickler for the details you know. here you can even see the time stamp indicating the moment of posting. clearly i was busy elsewhere when the murder happened now if you'll excuse me, there's a callout post i've been meaning to tend to

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

That explains it, sir. You know, at the station they always tell me I sweat the little stuff too much. But that must be how you have... what is it, sir? 500 followers? Very impressive. Well, I'll get out of your hair. Wouldn't want to get in the way of social justice. Oh, there is one more thing. There's this tag on the bottom of your post. Is that what you call those? Tags? I wonder where you get a name like that. Anyway, I didn't understand it. It says "queue be continued". I hope I pronounced that right. What does that mean, sir?

[timemachineyeah]

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

[xxlovelynovaxx-deactivated20241]

I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.

I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi

[timemachineyeah]

do you have any idea how refreshing it is to see a correction/suggestion to this post that actually understands the assignment

[ivy-michaels]

putting on the high vis corset and running in front of cars across a dark country road like a deer

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Corset of Visibility

[obscurelocalstranger]

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Christian poster: god made it funny to joke about agnosticism

Atheist poster: there are material reasons why it’s funny to joke about agnosticism

Agnostic poster: nobody knows why agnostic jokes are funny

[transfemininomenon]

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

[ladybugmp3]

entering my mind palace like damn who closed last night

[escapedaudios]

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

[card-designers-without-borders]

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis