merry binchmas

The one and only Mrs. Claus.

[himitsusentaiblog]

One of Santa’s little known powers is his AT Field, which prevents him from taking damage from Conventional, Nuclear, Chemical or Biological attack. 

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[shittysawtraps]

remember to leave out milk and rusty blades for jigsaw tonight

[shittysawtraps]

SANTA I’M SO FUCKING SORRY

[natalieironside]

Grandma got run over by a [REDACTED]

Coming home from our house Christmas Eve

You might say there’s no such thing as [DATA EXPUNGED]

B̷̲̈́͋͌̕ų̷̇̊̔t̸͇̩̺̱͚́̂̑͆͊̒̕ͅͅ ̷̤͕̫̂́ͅa̴̦͌͂s̷̼̜͈̟͛̎̏̄ ̶̯̤̝̊̿ͅf̷̼̹͈̺̹̒̋͑̐̊o̸̹͔̍̋̄r̸̨̻̈́̔̑̆̽̍̚ ̵̰͖̓m̴̠͓̩̰̰̙͔͂̓́e̶̒͋͆̿̉͜ ̵͖̈́̈́̅̀̓́a̴̻̍ņ̸̧̛̤̻̖̣̉̆͝d̸͕͇͚̎̓́ ̸̱̝̞͙̭̰̐̈́̈́͊̐̀G̶̪̙̃̐̂̏̎̾̚r̴͖̘̟̃̈́̑̓̂́̾͜͜ȁ̵͔͇͔n̸̻̫͇̽̓ḍ̴̮͓̎͑p̷̨̮̲͔̿͂̌ā̵͕̗̪̝̌̃̿̆͘,̶̛͙̆̀̅̓̾͠ ̷̧̯̟͐w̴͕̖̪̱̅̔͗͛͛̂e̵̗̪̒̐̆̚͘ ̸̛͓͍͇͔͒̍͒͌̽͝b̷̥̂̈́̎̄͝͝e̷̬̥̼̹͍̗̿̀͠ͅl̴͕̬̹̇̐͝͝ͅï̷̛̪̲̜͖̦͗̓͌̌̓e̶̼͍̐̐̂v̷̹̎͐̃ẹ̷̛̫͔̼̣̗̱̿̈́͂͊̐̐

[anglaised]

my uncle took a jolly pill and now his cheeks are round and red and theres a unmistakable scent of gingerbread cookies following him wherever he goes

[fuckedelf]

Tell you uncle to text me

[girlballs-archive]

grandma got reduced to electron-quark plasma by a reindeer

[tony-tinsel]

wish someone would plasma MY eleftron-quark if uou get my meaning LOL 👯🏳️‍🌈👯🎅🏽❤️🎄

[mrs-claus-official]

tony are you in the nog again

[tony-tinsel]

Infuckin WISH betty, tbh I'm a little less festive than I'd like but PUSHIN THROUGH LOL 🎅🏽🍆🎅🏽🙃❤️🏳️‍🌈

[mrs-claus-official]

[girlballs-archive]

grandma got reduced to electron-quark plasma by a reindeer

[tony-tinsel]

wish someone would plasma MY eleftron-quark if uou get my meaning LOL 👯🏳️‍🌈👯🎅🏽❤️🎄

[mrs-claus-official]

tony are you in the nog again

[girlballs-archive]

i don't give a shit about Christmas you have to show up to my stream today. fuck Santa and fuck Jesus and fuck the Easter Bunny

[mrs-claus-official]

leave the rabbit out of this he has enough on his plate. go watch her stream tho

[dreadwedge]

wake up, mrs claus... it's christmas eve... can you fuck all 100 virgin elves hidden throughout santa's workshop before your husband returns from work? hover your cursor over an elf and press F when the Fuck Meter is green to fuck an elf, but look out! if you mistime your fuck, the virginity of nearby elfs will be restored... you have one hour... good luck mrs claus... and to all a good night... ho ha ho... (0/100) (59:58)

[girlballs-archive]

grandma got reduced to electron-quark plasma by a reindeer

[dunglizard]

I fear “I Have No Mouth & I Must Carol” isn’t gonna win the ugly sweater design contest at the company holiday party

[grox]

[torturelabyrinth]

All the best christmas songs are either scary insane with glee or so sad they make you want to kill yourself. No nuance

[torturelabyrinth]

Do you want epic mariah carey histrionics expressing a level of ecstasy that would make a normal human physically explode or do you want shane macgowan drinking himself to a frozen death on the streets of new york city. It’s your choice!

[rubiatinctorum]

[dunglizard]

I fear “I Have No Mouth & I Must Carol” isn’t gonna win the ugly sweater design contest at the company holiday party

[fuckedelf]

I hate da weeks leading up to Christmas the workshop gets fucked up. Another live execution today

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

I cant be with you. You post about wanting to be injected with christmas poison. And I cant do that for you

[ghostrockband]

Ive been fined 1500 jingledollars for impersonating a santa claus