Addicted to all things @murderedbysuperwholock - Tumblr Blog

It kind of baffles me that a lot of people never got to experience the Mishapocalypse. Not like it was something that was good, more like, it was something you’d only see on this website in like…10 years.

Imagine you wake up on April Fool’s day. You log into tumblr. Immediately your dash is encompassed with Misha’s face. Everyone’s icon has been changed to that same, staring, blank face. You check your followers. Every single one of them has that face. You try going into your normal tags. Even those are filled with Misha’s face. Nowhere is safe. Misha is everywhere. You go to Twitter to complain about it. Misha’s face is there too.

Within hours of the event starting, there’s already a wiki entry and an urban dictionary entry for it. Gifs that you may have recognized of being popular at that time have Misha’s face photoshopped over them. Repeating patterns of Misha’s face. Misha illusions. Misha’s face OVER MISHA’S FACE.

Eventually, even Misha is like, “Yeah, this is fucking weird. What the fuck are you guys doing.” But it doesn’t stop. People hit post limit. They can’t post anymore. Suddenly, you notice that your dash is starting to thin out, slowly, one by one. There’s a hypothetical tumbleweed bouncing across your dash by 10pm that night.

Anyone who tried to blacklist the Mishapocalypse suddenly found that their dashboard was sent into the shadow realm. Nothing is there. They tried to unfollow people who were participating in it. They had no blog content at the end of the day.

The next day, we all wake up and continue on with our lives like nothing ever happened. It was like a fever dream. What the fucked happened. Where did our lives go for that day.

That was the Mishapocalypse.

skywalkerchick1138

It looked a little something like this

and it was absolute hell

kaleran

It was over within like a day though that was he weird part. There were stragglers through the following weeks but the main bit was over within hours it was the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen

phonographzerohash

I think the most baffling thing is that whoever set this up did it without it leaking. and it originated from a fandom that had all the subtlety of a foghorn. this was the fandom that used to put those REBLOG IF U SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE posts on your dash with 5000 flashing rainbow gifs and superwholock edits. A wide variety of image macros were premade for the occasion. it was literally the single slickest moment this website has ever and probably will ever pull off and so of fucking course it was wasted on this nonsense

carry-on-my-wayward-butt

i honestly don’t get that leak bit at all because like you said, the fandom had the subtlety of a foghorn, so imagine what it was like at the eye of the storm?

[grizzled old man voice] i was there…

but honestly, it was truly everywhere before it happened. the original post had i believe something-teen thousand notes before the date itself, (which was quite a bit so quickly back in the day). as the promised day grew near, it was more and more present on the dashes of people fully ingrained into the fandom’s ecosystem.

the only reason it seems to have ‘not leaked’ was specifically due to the gargantuan rift between ‘fandom bloggers’ and ‘hipster bloggers’ (hipster here meaning literally everything else, not just aesthetic upside down galaxy crosses and geometric triangle print posts)

and adding to that, the tendency of ‘hipster blogs’ to be full-on aesthetic gridblogs and nothing else. no text posts, no personal posts, nothing. the concept of separate blogs for fandom posts, aesthetic posts, porn posts, and personal posts was the status quo for a while, and at least it was still like that when i had joined mid-2012. because of the huge lack of blogs in differing ecosystems communicating with each other like most of us do now, there was no hipster blogs posting “fandoms r gonna do some dumb shit tomorrow :/ ” warnings for anyone else.

without that cultural divide, there would have been warnings, there would have been people banding together to shame the concept out of existence, and there would have been MUCH more attention on the planning of it because of back and forth between the “don’t do that shit it’s extremely annoying” and “let people have fun stop shaming us” camps. it could have been louder. but it wasn’t. it couldn’t possibly have been.

to be clear yes i am stating for the record: speaking as an active participant at the time of the event, i genuinely believe that without that split, without the fandom-hipster dichotomy of days long past, the mishapocalypse would have never even happened.

dismisses

I can't believe it's already 2017

dismisses

Guys I’m crying omg I was drunk please stop reblogging this

4lienmatt

They want it to stop…..we reblog it to the extreme

dismisses

No no no lol please don’t

soft-grunge-lesbian

Forever reblog until 2017

O my god no

i cant stop laughing

until 2017

only 3 more years.

I already added this to my queue, I don’t even know if i’ll still be on tumblr then

weavemama

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

trip-usingizi-rp-blog

This shit is wild.

goodshinyhunter

There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if you’re so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.

After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.

Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if you’re stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, you’re dead. Radiation poisoning.

Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever you’re going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.

How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as there’s enough inches vertically you’ll be good so long as you stay under it.

You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.

galaxy-manticore

Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.

magic-owl

I cannot believe I actually have to freaking reblog this but here y'all go just in case

shit-editor

Take a break from the humor for just a second and read this.

thewickedwilds

Sorry, what year is this again??

helpimanspnfan

Help me I’m dying!^

#this #omg #I literally can't #help me #I'm dead

shitpostempire

fauxfable

so my dad went boating and he sent me this video…😂

teainawineglass

OHHHHHMYGOD GIVE THIS MORE NOTES

belovedsheith

it’s 4 seconds just uNMUTE IT AND LISTEN

klimtsonian-unofficial

why does no one ever talk about how lewis and clark met why isn’t that taught in history classes it’s like some rom-com meet-funny trope and i’ve literally never heard it brought up. literally the start of one of the most famous friendships in america and no one talks about it.

reinamorenaxcvi

Wasn’t Clark just Lewis’ commanding officer? I guess I don’t know this story either. Can you tell it?

klimtsonian-unofficial

yes!! oh my god!!

so at twenty-one years of age, stupid stubborn hotheaded ensign meriwether lewis decides to get hella drunk and crash the party of one of his superior officers, starting an argument over politics (namely, defending thomas jefferson, his neighbor and veritable father figure) and insulting his host and basically being an embarrassment. so, he’s arrested and leveled with a court martial!! because this ridiculous boy can’t mind his fucking manners when he’s tipsy apparently!!

but instead of having to explain to his poor mother why he got booted out of the continental army, he’s acquitted (”with honor” bc apparently i’m not the only one who plays favorites when it comes to meriwether lewis), but he has to be reassigned so he doesn’t piss off his commanding officer again (awk). and whose brand new sharp-shooting rifle unit does he get transferred to?? take a wild guess!!!! that’s right, william clark’s!!!! and over the next six months meri falls deepfuck in totally platonic bro-love with him until clark resigns his commission for family reasons. then, roughly eight years later, lewis writes him to ask if maybe he’d like to travel to the ends of the earth by his side and, well, the rest is history.

socialjusticethespian

But how do you know it was platonic

klimtsonian-unofficial

i hope you guys understand that when i say “platonic” i say it in the patronizing sarcastic tone of voice i always use when i talk about meriwether lewis’s big ol’ crush on his bff. maybe i can’t prove totally that he was v gay and probably at least a little bit madly in love with clark, but damn i wanna believe love exists ok.

lewis’s obvious sexual repulsion of women, his inability to find a wife, his desire to live with clark after the expedition, that last letter he wrote to clark before his violent death that we don’t have because clark burned it – we can read a lot into all of this if we want to, but even besides all of that the point remains that meriwether lewis was intensely fond of clark, and that they cared deeply for one another, and that their personalities complemented and completed one another in a way that makes you think twice about soulmates.

klimtsonian-unofficial

sooooo, was sacagawea, covering for their relationship?, I need to know history!!. (via @adaywithoutlightis-night )

actually, sacagawea was a sixteen-year-old kidnapped shoshone girl sold into sexual slavery to a french trader named toussaint charbonneau, who pissed power couple lewis and clark off to no end due to generally just being who he was as a person.

whereas lewis had no real interest in women from what we can tell from his writings, he actually wrote about how much he admired sacagawea’s extreme fortitude and numerous skills that helped them throughout their journey. lewis also actually delivered sacagawea’s child!! she had a very difficult birth (probably because she was a child), which sent lewis into multiple kinds of panic. clark, however, really doted on sacagawea and her son; he gave them both nicknames, looked out for their safety during the trip, and was very close to them even after the expedition and ended up adopting sacagawea’s son. he was also a notoriously bad speller and i don’t think he ever spelt charbonneau’s name correctly ever not even once (which makes me think of the blenderdick cucumberpatch meme tbh).

klimtsonian-unofficial

i mean yeah there’s also a lot of angst here too because after the expedition their lives went in very different directions.

clark comes home and immediately acclimates to a hero’s life. he gets married and has a son who he names meriwether lewis clark after his best friend. he has a respectable government position and lives a long and happy life.

meanwhile lewis struggles to get accustomed to civilized life again. he misses the freedom of the expedition. he still sleeps on buffalo skins spread out on his bedroom floor. he writes that he is determined to find himself a wife but no woman can seem to stand him; one even flees town in the middle of the night to avoid seeing him again the next day. with his lifelong history of depression (which comes in bursts which, to me, seem a lot like manic depression), lewis spirals downward. he’s hated and conspired against in his political career, he starts to drink heavily, he stops talking to all of the people who had been closest to him.

he finally works himself up to taking a trip to dc to deliver his journals to jefferson and on the boat trip up he attempts to kill himself multiple times. he’s described as appearing frantic and afraid, and tries to calm himself down by repeatedly telling himself that clark is on his way, that clark will be coming to save him. we know that at this time he wrote clark a letter, but clark burned it so we don’t know what it said. i’m ashamed of the things i’d do to get my hands on that letter.

lewis dies in an inn on the natchez trace of two bullet wounds, and it’s still debated whether it was suicide or murder; everyone close to him seemed to accept it was suicide, including clark, who wrote, “oh, i fear the weight of his mind has overcome him”.

perfectlynormalperson

But what happened to Sacagawea and her son?

klimtsonian-unofficial

ok, more on sacagawea, because she deserves any and all the credit she gets plus a whole lot more honestly:

when sacagawea was about 12 years old, she was kidnapped by the hidatsa tribe and sold alongside another shoshone woman to charbonneau as his “wives”. charbonneau was officially hired by lewis and clark not just because he was a french fur trader who knew the pacific northwest territory as well as the hidatsa language, but because sacagawea’s knowledge of the shoshone language and people would benefit them as they traveled through their lands. sacagawea was not just some inconvenient extra, she was a purposeful and valued addition to the corps.

sacagawea had her son, jean-baptiste, while l&c and co. ™ were still wintering at fort mandan, so she was literally carrying this child on her back for the entire journey. she was also the only woman travelling in the corps! and she was given duties! strong and capable and literally perfect i love her so much!

while travelling on a riverway, the boat sacagawea was travelling on capsized, and along with saving her son she also rescued valuable supplies and papers; both the captains were blown away with how well she acted under that sort of duress (and how badly her husband did lmao). travelling through native lands, tribes were more likely to think these men were not dangerous purely because sacagawea was with them, so she literally saved their white asses through association. she was a necessary and important figure in council meetings between the corps and tribal chiefs. clark called her “janey” and called her son “pompy”. (cute.) when they do get to the ocean, sacagawea literally demands clark (which she would have to do through like three layers of translators) to let her go to the shore with them, because damn it she worked just as hard as anyone else and she wants to see the fucking whales man.

perhaps most remarkably, when the corps finally did encounter the shoshone tribe, among the very first group of people they encountered was sacagawea’s brother, who she hadn’t seen for five years. that’s. so incredible. like, that’s one of the most amazing things to me. this survivor of child sexual abuse bravely treks across huge stretches of territory with a military expedition and is reunited with her family, however briefly, and. god. i’m crying.

sacagawea was not paid for her contributions to the expedition, because the contract was with her husband. she gave birth to a daughter, lisette, six years after the expedition. she died at 25 years old of a sickness she apparently had throughout her adulthood (which may have been further complicated from her early abuse and pregnancies). after her death, clark adopted both of her children.

i love this beautiful brave bird woman just as much if not more than i love my adventurous southern sons.

thisblogisbeingemptied-deactiva

@theworldasainoit

klimtsonian-unofficial

i’ve seen a lot of comments about the really sorry state of spelling and grammar in the expedition journals, and just wanted to let everyone know that, since no one had a dictionary with them on the expedition, they had to spell out words phonetically, and for the most part everyone wrote how they talked. by that logic, linguists have determined that by reading the journals of expedition members aloud you can actually start to mimic their accents! lewis was a virginian with some book learning, so his passages tend to have more eloquent language and less visible accent. however, clark was kentucky born and bred, and manages to misspell “mosquito”more than sixteen different ways.

mr-baberaham-lincoln

Also, there’s a national memorial in Montana that Clark carved his name into, called Pompey’s Pillar. Clark named it after Sacajawea’s son.

scaredpotter

tbh the most unrealistic thing in harry potter is when mrs weasley in the first book asks “now what’s the platform number?”

like this woman has been going to that school for seven years and then dropped kids off on the same place for nearly ten like why on earth would she forget the platform number

marauders4evr

I still have the headcanon that Molly BAMF Weasley saw a scrawny underfed child with an owl who had no idea where he was going and looked lost and confused and was like, “Ah, yep, new son.” but didn’t want to scare him by outright approaching and asking if he needed help so she was just like, “MUGGLES, MUGGLES EVERYWHERE! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE PLATFORM NUMBER TO WIZARD SCHOOL IS? WHAT’S THAT? NINE AND THREE QUARTERS? OH, YES, THAT’S RIGHT. THE PLATFORM NUMBER IS N I N E A N D T H R E E Q U A R T E R S!”

Of course seeing as how Harry isn’t the most observant bloke, she probably ushered her kids past him fifty times as different ones screamed the platform number until they finally got his attention.

wingscanspeak

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

nightowlsupreme

You’re going to get a cavity

wingscanspeak

good

wingscanspeak

30 min later, not much progress.

wingscanspeak

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

casualfanboy

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

wingscanspeak

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

wingscanspeak

i’d rather be eating anything but this

wingscanspeak

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

wingscanspeak

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint.

wingscanspeak

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

butchercat

‘Tis the season.

clausy4life-deactivated20190624

It’s November

killjoygem

TO BE JOLLY

justalittlesquidboi

I always misread it as “Santa’s asshole” and it makes it even better

animalkingd0m-blog

merosse-deactivated20140123

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

abqandnotu

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

octemberfirst

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT” “YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR”

macleod

THIS IS THE STUFF THAT TUMBLR NEEDS MORE OF

ask-bot

What is not a FUN fact?

xxxtictacion

Were all gonna die

frogmunist-deactivated20190724

Your eye has something called “immune privilege” This basically means that the outside of your eye prevents your immune system from knowing about the inside of your eye. If it didn’t, your immune system would destroy your eyes.

maxknightley

biestcallisto

In 20 years a hollywood movie called “Aleppo” will win 7 Oscars and everyone will say “Something like that should never be allowed to happen again”

audreynical2

The protagonist will be a white photojournalist.

stardusted

at this point I don’t even know what to say

prettyboyshyflizzy

my kids not having no white friends im sorry

astromot

shewolfofengland

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

deutschemark

(x)

heartyounot

I’m dead at his face in the last one like “Did you even try?”

aletolover-deactivated20151208

And then when he gets pushed he’s like “Wait no let him try!”

morepopcornplease

his composure is just everything I aspire to be

thosedarnwindsors-deactivated20

OMG IT’S BACK!

minimiddletons

CHARLES IS THE BEST OMG

realityofroyals-blog

Like how he stands there as if, “Okay, I’ll be perfectly still and we’ll see if you can hit me this time. Come on, it is like I’m giving you a head start.” He’s more annoyed with his cuff link than the wanna be assassin.

duchess-of-aquitaine-deactivate

FOREVER REBLOGGING THIS.

atomictiki

THIS is how you deal with terrorists

Even if you go down you did it with dignity.

jasoncanty01

You all do know who his mother is right? You know the woman who stayed home during the bombing of London and drove Jeeps in WW2. They are trained to be final boss overlord level composed at age 2.

atomictiki

U don’t fuck with the Queen

qbnaith

His sister, Princess Anne, was the victim of an attempted kidnapping. The guy pointed a gun at her and told her to get out her car. She replied: “Not bloody likely.” And tried to kick him.