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Claire Keane

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Janaina Medeiros
Show & Tell
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document

Kiana Khansmith

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@murderscenedean
fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try
I woke up in the morning and everything was new
hi sweetie do you want brushed too?
Big day for weird little towns
this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem
Rule #2
Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,
For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.
You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,
But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.
Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,
Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,
For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,
And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.
Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,
For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,
And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,
So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.
here’s my pitch for next doctor who. budget of 5 cents and a dream. a female doctor with female companions and a female master. they will all get horrendously gay for each other. we will make 5 billion dollars. bbc please hire me.
The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds...
I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and you’re SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you
There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.
edward likes taking bella to the meadow because she gets eaten up by mosquitos who then become flying little snackies that edward doubles back for. edward leaps about the meadow snatching them up like a bass jumping from a lake
Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there
Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.
And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.
love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears
get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all
jaw fucking drop everybody look at this tiktok
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
this woman