the way Ruben’s less of a real person and more of a personified trauma response to toxic masculinity.
I’ve only seen a few minutes of Richard Gadd’s standup routine “monkey see monkey do”, but in those he talks about this “monkey” part of himself – a version of masculinity that’s brutal and hurts other people, but also a version that wants to protect the abused parts of him, and I do think Half Man is an extension of that scenario.
Whenever Niall explains to people that he and Ruben are “basically the same person”, he’s met with disbelief. But I do think it’s true. Ruben is that “masculine” part of Niall he feels he’s missing.
To a certain degree, after hanging around Ruben (= leaning into a stereotypical idea of masculinity), his life turns around for the better: He doesn’t get bullied anymore and gains strength and confidence.
But as their relationship progresses, we can see how disruptive Ruben’s presence really is, how many flaws there are in a person (= concept) that Niall has previously deemed as desirable.
Because we can also see that Ruben is the part of Niall that won’t let him talk about things, be it his queerness or his true feelings.
And Ruben being the personification of a deeply nonsensical concept explains why he’s constantly contradicting himself. “Does Niall Kennedy want to read some gay little books instead” vs “not man enough to kiss a bloke” five minutes later? Defending Niall, but hurting him even worse in the process?
Their relationship is so complicated because yes, Ruben is a deeply toxic influence on Niall. But as Richard Gadd has said in an interview – for something to be toxic, it has to be intoxicating first. And what’s more intoxicating than the power, the social standing, the strength that comes with society’s idea of masculinity (= Ruben).
They really ARE parts of one another and I’m so excited to see how all of it will play out
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
germansingergirl
janainaart
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
stormborns
