Currently Watching:

heated rivalry, industry, the pitt

[foramomentonly]

A friend of a friend used to live next door to an NHL player and said that they tended to pass the house to fellow players when they got traded or left the area, so she just lived next to a rotating cast of professional hockey players and I can't get this out of my head:

Cliff buys Ilya's house off him when Ilya moves to Ottawa -- mostly furnished, because Cliff needs pretty much everything (bad breakup, she kicked him out and somehow got his condo out of it) and what is money to Ilya Fucking Rozanov? As he settles in, Cliff starts to notice little...curiosities. The smart TV is still logged into Roz's YouTube account and the guy watches a LOT of Shane Hollander highlight compilations? And interviews? And shirtless ads? But whatever maybe it's chirping material. But also there's a ton of ginger ale in the fridge and Cliff has literally never seen Roz -- or, like, anyone -- drink the stuff. Well, he's heard Hollander does. He keeps finding more and more random but extremely telling clues like a fucking Hollanov scavenger hunt and by the time Ilya and Shane get outed, Cliff isn't even surprised, he's just glad his best friend isn't a stalker.

I might have written two paragraphs and that might be all there will ever be.

[koldefingre]

Jane Hollander x Calvin Klein

[mothsartart]

eeeeeelya

[dogsdayilya]

Loyalty (1869)

— by Briton Rivière

Loyalty (2025)

— by Ilya Rozanov

[jakeyjake22diary]

sleepy shane 😣

[gaynehollander]

I'm a firm believer that Cliff Marleau had to be told that Shane Hollander and Montreal Jane were the same person. I am of the belief that when the Fanmail video leaked, Cliff thought "oh, it must not have worked out with Montreal Jane but my boy bagged Shane fucking Hollander, so it's fine." He does think it's a little funny that both of the people Ilya's been seriously involved with are based in Montreal but he still doesn't put it together.

[gaygoatshane]

he couldn't believe he was being asked if he liked girls

[shanesloverboy]

your dad just died but your situationship answers the video call looking like this, wyd

[fairycosmos]

my 5 year plan? find the energy to use my human body to participate in the world in some form or fashion

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[triassictriserratops]

do I think that Ilya thinks it's hot when Shane wears his jersey? Oh for sure. But I don't think it's the hottest thing in the world for him.

But I DO think that Shane "hockey christ" Hollander almost goes into cardiac arrest the first time he sees Ilya get on his knees for him wearing a "Hollander" jersey. And I think it does something to ILYA to wear Shane's jersey. I think that the idea that Ilya is Shane Hollander's #1 Fan and is also the ONLY PERSON who is allowed to get on their knees and suck him nose to belly styles??? Yeah, that shit rocks both of their worlds.

It's very "the crowds may chant your name but I'm the only one who gets to wear your name while you choke on mine"

[russianblush]

tummy touching (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

[sugarkaanes]

IM GONNA THROW UP THE WAY SHANE TURNS HIS HEAD IN LOVE WHEN THEY NOSE BOOP UGH. UGHHH

[sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine]

remember when he said this was a connor thing

[zoerayne01]

Finger sucking Saturday😏

[swagsmeister]

hollanov grocery run

[lavenderprose]

Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.

"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"

Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.

"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"

Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.

"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."

"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.

"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"

"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"

"No," Shane says, shortly.

"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"

"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"

"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."

"Mom!"

"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."

"Oh, you did?" Ilya says, shoulders shaking. "You outgrew the, uh, oral fixation?"

"Stop," Shane hisses.

"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.

"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"

"Please stop."