Trying To Cope Lads

He/him TW; This blog is about my PTSD, it’ll have references to abuse, trauma, csa, and so on. Please please please be careful and look after yourself. If you look at triggering stuff on purpose, I urge you to go uhhh look up ringtail possums instead, because they are adorable

[bitterbareface]

People not comprehending Nosferatu correctly might kill me. Yes it's erotic and about pleasure but yes it's devastating and about child sexual abuse. It's a movie about victimhood, about being already dead, about longing for the great beyond, about never feeling safe from your abuser, about always expecting one more rape must be endured. It is about being an ugly victim, a neurotic victim. About your supposed allies tying you down for fear you will rip their world to ribbons. It is about facing the abuser, facing the pleasure the abuser brought. It is about men seeking to silence a plague in the quiet of the night when grooming and abuse can only be destroyed by pulling it into the light of morning.

[f0rcee]

Do you miss all your old selves?

no they are inside of me i hug them everyday and say u did such a good job

[cynocardia]

(image described in alt text)

[gayphoenixforce]

I hate the dog-ification of werewolves >:( I by making them happy dumbos it misses the best part of transformative monstrosity: repression. If you aren't afraid of the beast within what's the fucking point. It's the big bad wolf lurking on moonlit nights it's not your golden retriever in the park at noon. Justice for repression!! Justice for the beast within!! Justice for the fear of who you could be if you really let loose! Is the monster your true self? Does the thrill of the wild outweigh the guilt that comes in the light of day, when there's mud on your feet and blood on your hands? What does it mean that you crave that which disgusts you, that the wolf isn't just something you become, it's something you always were

[aethersea]

#i think with so many monsters its the horror of living #you got sick and attacked by a vampire but youre still here and now you feel like a burden sucking the life from your loved ones #you were traumatized and attacked by a werewolf and now you cant stop spreading that pain and hurt #you died you were gone right? but youre still here #you have to keep going on #dragging your body around #it feels foreign

#wouldnt it be easier if you were human? like you were?# but if you were like you were youd be dead

#how dare you love yourself even the parts that you hate #youre afraid of yourself #you cant stop hurting people

hey wait @youremysunshine8 come back that's such a good take

[shoppingcartfullofpinkturd-deac]

[heartpdf]

[orchard-system]

[fjellblomst-deactivated20180409]

This Work Never Ends - Jenny Hart, 2002 hand embroidery on salvaged cotton 

[discodeerdiary]

I wish people were more trauma-literate. Maybe they'd learn to use trigger warnings correctly then.

[discodeerdiary]

Obviously I don't speak for every traumatized person, but for me seeing people use trigger warnings wrong is kind of harder to deal with than if people don't use them at all.

[discodeerdiary]

What do I mean by using it wrong? Well there are a bunch of things people do:

Saying "trigger warning" by itself without specifying what trigger they're warning for This one's understandable but also kind of insulting cause it's just like "if you have any kind of trauma you might have a bad time byeeeee". You should instead be naming the trigger that you're warning for. "Tw parental abuse", "tw police violence" etc.

Any form of "if you've been sexually assaulted you shouldn't read this" This is gross and patronizing. The purpose of trigger warnings should be to help traumatized people make decisions about what they read, not to make those decisions for them.

Censorship instead of trigger warnings Oh I fucking hate this one. It's infuriating when people act like it's gonna soften the blow if they spell it "r*pe" instead of "rape". All it does is make us trauma survivors feel like our experiences are dirty and tainted and not to be spoken of in mixed company. (Note that people will sometimes star out words in order to evade online censorship algorithms or protect themselves from the search function. This is all fine and valid. But also like, we can tell when you're doing the first thing versus when you're doing the second.)

[haunted-echo]

My body is mine and I get to choose how it is handled.

[psychiatricwarfare]

i dont understand why people yell at me when i say im slow (mentally), i mean it. its not derogatory or offensive unless YOU use it that way. i am slow. it takes me longer to understand and process things than most do, thats literally what being mentally slow means

[crucifixcavity]

you’ve got the mark of the beast

[donttellmehowtoheal]

Somewhere that girl is standing in a basement,

bare and sad and hoping no one walks in

and yells at her for doing such a horrible thing.

The click and whir made sure

she can never put her clothes back on,

can never leave that place,

can never grow up.

She's stuck in the basement,

in the passenger seat of his car,

in his apartment.

Versions of her like plucked feathers, eternal moments.

They've floated away and I can't get them back.

Maybe they're sitting in a drawer somewhere,

where he can wring my pain for his pleasure

any time he wants.

Maybe they exploded over a computer terminal

and settled in hundreds of hard drives,

thousands of printouts.

In that frozen moment, in that basement,

how many people are watching from the shadows, cheering him on?

How many greasy hands on her body?

How many times a victim?

A part of me wants to know,

wants to trace every copy back until they're all gathered up,

wants to gouge out every eye that saw and enjoyed.

Another part knows every revelation

would click and whir in my gut

and I could never vomit enough to be rid of them.

There's nothing I can do.

I'm just as trapped as she is.

[hell-brain]

how to stop feeling like your body is a crime scene

[stlamb]

“too much love” - photo sequence by katja kemnitz

[guooey]

[beefcliff]

a little comic about nurture & cautiously giving in

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