My name is Ms Agent, here have a cup of tea

Can I be any further of assistance?

[kestrelfalcosparverious]

Just imagine the Avengers going to Ikea, and Thor is the only one who can pronounce the name of anything. 

[therealopheliatagloff-deactivat]

This is disproportionately hilarious to me.

[mrv3000]

#COME LET US ASSEMBLE THE LÖVBACKEN

[bey]

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed

[bana05]

This is legit and people don’t realize it.

[noahwyles]

“hey what are you doing?” “nothing”  “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.” 

[embyrr922]

I’m doing nothing. Actively. It’s important.

[thedevilsrain]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

I Won’t Say I’m in Love: *Plays*

Me: *AGGRESSIVELY TRIES TO SING THE PART OF THE MUSES AND MEGARA AT THE SAME TIME*

[positiveautistic-deactivated202]

Just a reminder in case your mind is playing tricks on you today:

You matter. You’re important. You’re loved. And your presence on this earth makes a difference whether you see it or not.

[sov-ja]

thank you, brooklyn99, for providing this perfect quote

[webofstarwars]

[lizawithazed]

god bless mark hamil

[sov-ja]

Steve has a lot of magnetic letters and he is not afraid to use them!!

However, Sam is not afraid to use them either:

[boypositiveplace-deactivated201]

Guys should be allowed to have irrational fears without being mocked. They should be allowed to have phobias, however odd they might seem to someone else, without being told to ‘man up’ and ‘stop being a pussy’. They should be allowed to cry when they’re scared. Men and boys who have irrational fears are not weak or cowards and they deserve to be taken seriously. 

[pretonobranco77]

By Denis O'Regan, David Bowie,1983

[bundyspooks]

8 of the world’s most bizarre flowers:

1.) Swaddled Babies

2.) Flying Duck Orchid

3.) Hooker’s Lips Orchid

4.) Ballerina Orchid

5.) Monkey Orchid

6.) Naked Man Orchid

7.) Laughing Bumblebee Orchid

8.) White Egret Orchid

[niechys]

Orchids kinda don’t wanna be flowers, huh.

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[mintcorpse]

does anyone else get that horrible feeling when ur watching a show that you like, but you can feel the heterosexual romance building up, u know the signs, and it’s like ur in a horror movie except instead of a monster it’s the protagonists annoying boyfriend to be

[dsxsbx]

BEST SCENE EVER

[bandydear]

Chaotic Good

[theemotionmachine]

[writing-prompt-s]

Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.

[korpuscat]

Y’all get together to discuss your options and she starts coaching you on how to get men because she doesn’t want to waste more magic on you without promise of payment. The more time you guys spend together the more you realize you have a bit of a crush on her. Soon you’re sabotaging your dates on purpose to see her again. 

Long story short you fall in love and get married and do the sperm donor thing AND YOUR FIRSTBORN IS HERS BY DEFAULT and you live happily ever after. The end.

[only-1-a]

Baby cries in the middle of the night

Witch: Ughhhhh. It’s your turn.

You: You bought it. You handle it.

[gwydionmisha]

That is what I call a fairy tale ending.

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

[manasaysay]

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

I like your dad already

[charming-tothelast]

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

oh WOW