shane as joe from nymphomaniac vol. 2

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@mywanderlustqueen
shane as joe from nymphomaniac vol. 2
I’m so in love with you, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Okay cool
Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"
One of the most important critical texts of this century imo
image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description
Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.
Can't leave this in the tags..
Vigilance.
St Andrew's, Nuthurst, West Sussex.
you called me shane.
Heated Rivalry — 1x06 ⤷ PHONE BLOWJOB
(sources below)
Iceland is fucking bizarre my name change made the news
Like just @ me at this point I'm literally the only person in iceland (and very possibly the world) who has the first name Lauf
(Article title reads "Lauf and Birningur in group of new names in the name register")
No one lives here so now two of our biggest news outlets are vagueing about me lmao
Hmm you're right. Correction: two of our biggest media outlets are talking about me specifically because they are obsessed with me
This morning I showed up to work and my boss was like "congratulations :))" and I was kinda confused so asked her on what and she said "your name, I heard about it on the radio"
So far I have counted two online articles and apparently the radio is also talking about my name change so I'll keep you guys updated when I'm on national tv or something
With a little legwork we can make more people on Tumblr see this than the entire population of Iceland.
randomly remembered this tweet and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing
there are a lot of reasons why someone might become transgender but the most common one is to acquire more powerful sword techniques
the people’s princess.
incredible innovations on the beverage front
David and Yuna are clearing out their attic, and they come over with a box of Shane's old childhood stuff to see if there's anything Shane (but realistically, Ilya) wants to keep.
As Shane and Ilya are going through the box, Ilya pulls out a little Centaurs branded notebook, with "Shane's Fun Facts!" written on the front in sharpie. Ilya is understandably delighted.
"What is this?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear, quickly yanking it out of the reach of Shane who immediately tries to swipe it out of his hands.
"It's nothing," says Shane, but the way his cheeks have gone pink behind his freckles tells another story.
"Uh-uh. It cannot be nothing if you don't want me to see it this badly."
Turning his back to Shane so he can't easily grab at it, Ilya opens to a random page and reads in Shane's 8-year-old scrawl:
Lightning bolts are five times hotter than the sun. That is very hot!
Ilya is grinning even wider now.
"Wow, Solnyshko, that is a fun fact."
"Fuck off," Shane says. He doesn't even attempt to grab it again, just kind of collapses and bonks his head into Ilya's shoulder. "I used to have trouble making friends as a kid. Dad suggested I start collecting facts to use as icebreakers. Y'know, to get conversations going."
"Did they work?" asks Ilya, tilting his head so that it rests on top of Shane's as his husband gives an almighty sigh.
"I think they made it worse, actually."
Ilya turns to another page and reads it out loud.
"Oology is the study of eggs. It's so cool because it looks like there are three eggs in the word!"
"Oh god," says Shane, burying his face further into Ilya's neck.
"I think you knew all the worst kids in Canada," says Ilya, putting down the book and wrapping his arms around Shane. "Those facts would have worked on me."
"Really?" asks Shane, glancing up at Ilya's face to see if he's teasing him, but Ilya is being perfectly serious.
"Of course. You came up to me and started telling me fun facts straight away, remember? 'I don't think you can smoke here.' 'Wow, Rozanov, you are the best player ever to watch.'"
"Fuck off, I didn't say that," laughs Shane.
"Well, it was something like that," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to the top of Shane's head. "So at least the fun facts worked when it mattered, yes? Imagine where we'd be if you hadn't come over to break the ice."
And Shane tugs Ilya even closer.
"I don't think I want to."
Pacific Rim dir. Guillermo del Toro | 2013
Let me show you how to do this good.
bring in the first ginger ale