Naiima

Hi. I’m Naiima. I might post, I might not. We’ll see.

[alien-slushie]

Danny: *minding his buisness in the mall, and sipping on a cup of ectoplasm*

M'ari, walks up to him curiously: What are you drinking?

Danny, taken off gaurd by the random child: Uhh...

Mar'i: Because it kinda looks like Uncle Jason's blood. Are you a vampire?

Danny: Yes.

Mar'i: Oh. Did you get permission to drink that blood? If not that means you're a bad guy.

Danny: I got permission, only weird fruitloops don't get permission.

Mar'i, nods seriously: That's good, cause then I'd have had to beat you up. And I like your star hoodie, and I wouldn't want to accidentally ruin it.

Danny: You a hero then?

Mar'i: No, Daddy and Mommy are heros though, and that means I'll be a hero one day too.

Danny: Got your whole life figured out huh kid?

Mar'i: *proudly nods*

Danny: So where are-

Mar'i: Is your skin sparkly because you're a vampire?

Danny: Sparkly?

Mar'i: Yeah! It looks like snow when its in the morning and its all glittery.

Danny, snorts: No thats because I have use ice powers.

Mar'i: Really?!

Danny: *crouches down and puts his drink down. He holds out his palm, and it starts glowing blue before a glittering blue ice sculpture in the shape if a star materializes in his hand, followed by small ice droplets that turned it into a necklace.*

Mar'i: Pretty!

Danny: Tell ya what, you tell me how to contact your parents to come get you, and you can have it.

Mar'i: I know Daddy's phone number!

Danny: That'll work.

*one phone call with a panicked father later*

Dick: Mar'i!

Mar'ii: Hi Daddy! Look the Mall Vampire made me a necklace! Hey will it melt?

Danny: Not unless I will it to kid.

Dick: You scared the stars out of me Princess! I turned around and you were just gone! You can't do that!

Mar'i: But I was bored, and you walk away from Uncle Tim when you're bored.

Dick: Ah well thats different-

Danny: *snorts but tries to cover it by taking a sip of his drink*

Dick: Thank you for holding her attention long enough to contact me.

Mar'i: The Mall Vampire is cool! He knows more about the stars and planets than Mommy does.

Dick: Mall Vampire?

Danny: *smiles at him, showing off his sharper canines*

Dick, pales: Right! Well Granpa is waiting for us Mar'i! Thanks for the help sir, goodbye.

Mar'i: By Mr. Mall Vampire. *waves excitedly over Dick's back*

Danny: *lazily waves back*

Bonus

???: Sorry I'm late I was- why do you have that look on your face?

Danny: What look?

???: The look that means "I know something others don't know and its going to be hilarious".

Danny: Its nothing bad, just had an interesting conversation with a really eccentric kid is all. It was funny, in hindsight.

???: Uhuh, sure. *squints suspiciously at him*

Danny: Anyway, forget about that, let's get the supplies I need before we go to dinner.

*3 Hours Later*

Tim: Why is Mar'i running around talking about a Mall Vampire?

Kori: Dick lost her in the mall earlier today, and the person who found her was humoring her questions.

Tim: And Dick is freaking out because...?

Kori, huffing: The man was "extremely pale with glittery skin and dark hair" and he just happened to have sharp teeth, so Dick's freaking out about it.

Tim: Seriously?

Kori, fondly: Honestly, that man.

Barbra: Hey guys, sorry for arrivaving late, it took a while to find the right paint-

Mar'i, squeals: Mall Vampire!

Danny: Hey kid.

Barbra: What?

Danny: This is the eccentric kid I told you about.

Barbra: Oh. Well uh, this is Danny, the cousin I told you abour. He's only in Gotham for a few months for a few art shows hes particpating in, so he's going to be staying with me.

Dick, paling: What?

Danny: Sorry for any inconvenience I might cause, but I look forward to getting to know you all. *smiles 'innocently', showing off his sharp teeth once more*

[nnugatoryextravagance]

This has no right being this fucking funny

[itsapmseymour]

[awesome-brick]

reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

[chamiryokuroi]

MEXICO WIN!!! FUCK AI!!!

[lastoneout]

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

[brenna]

[teaboot]

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[fadingponycookiedream]

[andsorrowsend]

[werefeathers]

[emolgana]

incredible stuff happening out there

[pukicho]

There's gotta be someone more qualified. I'm fucking begging you.

[thefoxboy]

@evilwizard

[evilwizard]

don’t involve me in this…

[kilgarraghforever]

@theshitpostcalligrapher ?

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

[valtsv]

it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think

[valtsv]

vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can't comprehend the timescale i live on. i've watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -

angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?

vampire: ...sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?

angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.

vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn't miss much.

[valtsv]

vampire: hey i am outside your apartment

angel: YOU'VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?

vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don't worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.

angel: OF COURSE, I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.

vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*

angel: OH, I'M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.

vampire: *coughing* it's fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here

[valtsv]

everyone replying to this with "and they were lovers"? target audience

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

can the vampire take Benadryl to be in the angel's house

[bogleech]

[werewolfclaws]

i feel like this is a dying art called 'being a good human being' anybody else agree. anybody

[setulose]

I think I might be about to send a deranged email

[setulose]

Couldn't find an email address so it was instead a deranged form submission

[setulose]

HUGE NEWS

[det395]

[transmechanicus]

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

[vmprblood]

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

[transmechanicus]

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[ryan-sometimes]

LMAOOOO

[furnishedfurnace]

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."

[mathew]

[drtanner]

A+ weird little dude, but I'm equally fascinated by the choice of music.

[trickstertime]

*unmutes*

[alienpapacy]

trending news

[airframeextender]

underwater temple, underwater monk

underwater rhymes and underwater funk

he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk

with mirrors all around him hes an underwater hunk

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

he’s got underwater junk in his underwater trunk

on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk

he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk

underwater temple, underwater monk

[cnsystem]

[thesexydancingcrepe]

Sick rhymes

[thesexydancingcrepe]

HOLY COW! SOMEONE MADE THIS A SONG!!👍✨

[iamsomeonehere]

Danny tied up: why is it always me who gets kidnapped for sacrificing!

Gotham villain also tied up: does this happen to you often?

Danny: yeah it’s routine at this point

Gotham villain: interesting. I am usually on the other side of this. Though not for a ritual to summon an eldritch being

Danny: I somehow always get caught up in rituals. Someday I’m gonna go rogue and start killing people

GV: well if you ever need help starting out give me a call. If we survive that is

Danny: oh we’ll survive. I know most spirits they summon by name now

Cultists summoning a spirit: come to us and take our sacrifices! Do our noble bidding!

Spirit appearing: sup Danny

Danny: hi Jerry

Spirit: caught again?

Danny: yup

GV watching and coming up with new plans: interesting…