Babs thinks she can just trick me into trying whateeeeever things that involve making a list (she can. she's evil). A ship-oriented list cuz umm, I think that's all I've ever read.....
Boblin
do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? by @jimmypesto - Linda is unhappily married to Hugo, when she meets her soulmate in a bar. Rated E.
for a moment, I knew cosmic love by @jimmypesto - Boblin Soulmate AU. Rated G.
still my patron saint by @jimmypesto - A Boblin Ghost AU. Rated E.
everythingâs alright when she calls me back by @jimmypesto - Bob and Linda relive a decades old memory. Rated M.
I see you every day now by @jimmypesto - Five times Bob and Linda shouldâve moved in together (and one time they actually did). Rated T.
Old Cape Bob by @babsvibes - Old Boblin Beach Day fic. Rated G.
Stairway to Lemon by @babsvibes - New parents Bob and Linda spend a well-earned night off⊠sitting on the stairs. Rated G.
i want to know what love is by @https-hunter - A collection of short fics for boblin week 2024 on tumblr.
An Indecent Proposal by @golden--doodler - Bob has decided that the day has finally come: He's going to propose to Linda. Rated T.
Tinimmy
Honey Combed Hair by @babsvibes - (summary? what summary? incredibly important fic to me personally is what it is)
Beach Glaze by @babsvibes - At face value, Tina's goal was quite simple: Have a beach day with Jimmy Jr., just the two of them. So why did it always have to go wrong? Rated G.
the night we snuck into a yacht club party, pretending to be a duchess and a prince by @jimmyjrsmusoems - Tina and Jimmy Jr. decide to sneak into the Glencrest Yacht Club's annual Christmas party. Rated T.
a message in a bottle is all i can do (standing here, hoping it gets to you) by @jimmyjrsmusoems - that time that Jimmy Jr. texted Tina on the emergency phone. Rated G.
all i know, is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life by @jimmyjrsmusoems - Tinimmy Faking Dating AU. Rated T.
don't be afraid to jump, then fall (into me) by @jimmyjrsmusoems - Jimmy Jr. plans a (semi-)romantic surprise for his girlfriend. Rated G.
it always leads to you in my hometown by @jimmypesto - Over the years, Tina and Jimmy Jr. reunite when he returns to Seymour's Bay for Christmas. Rated M.
my gold rush to cold touch favorite ex by @jimmypesto - After a nightmare, Jimmy Jr. pays Tina a late night visit. Rated T.
Bits and Pieces by @eroticfriendfictions - A collection of ficlets and one shots. Rated T.
After Hours by @eroticfriendfictions - Tina and Jimmy Jr. have a closing time rendezvous. Rated T.
Dance Me to the End of Love by @waytoomanyhobbies - With their wedding about a month away, Tina has been going out until very late every night for the past two weeks. Rated M.
Wagstaff Side Story by @https-hunter - West Side Story AU.
Louigan
Logan's Run (-ning away) by @babsvibes - (something something roadtrip romcom). Rated T.
Territorial Swisspute by @babsvibes - Louigan Coworkers AU. Rated E.
Stacy's Cardamom by @babsvibes - Logan commits unthinkable crimes to get Louiseâs attention. But in like a romcom-y way. Rated M.
Dread String of Fate by @babsvibes - A soulmate AU where each person has their own identifying tell, and Louise isn't happy with hers. Rated T.
Cry Me a Liver by @babsvibes - Louise and Logan break up for a reason unbeknownst to a pair of deeply concerned and meddling siblings. Rated T.
Pie v. Cake by @babsvibes - Louise and Logan have their stupidest argument to date. Also, there's a puzzle. Rated T.
i don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it by @jimmyjrsmusoems - Jimmy Jr. and Logan fighting to figure out who, exactly, is Bob and Linda's "favorite". Rated T. (This is both louigan and tinimmy and I love it sooo much)
take a dirty picture, babe by @jimmypesto - Louise canât let Logan leave for his trip without giving him a surprise first. Rated M.
small talk in the kitchen (dated, dumb traditions) by @jimmypesto - On Christmas, Logan and Louise have a disagreement about the merits of PDA. Rated T.
Christmas Proposal Proposition by @sailoreuterpe - Louise asks Logan an important question about an important question on Christmas Eve. Rated T.
Rarepairs
BLT- A Commit-y of Marriers by @sailoreuterpe - Bob and Linda are marrying Teddy. Of course, thing don't all go according to plan. In the end, however, their wedding is still (almost) perfect. Rated G.
Chloise - we might just get away with this by @jimmypesto - Chloe and Louise meet up in private. Rated T.
Tinimeke - Veals Like The First Time by @babsvibes - Tina, Jimmy Jr., Zeke. Where one goes, the other follows and usually with a hand tugging the last along with them. Rated T.
Tedmort - Unpack Your Heart by @cosmic-hoboandthehighlander - Teddy gives Mort the key to his house - indicating he wants him to move in with him. Rated G.
i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream
you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said âi have 5 kidsâ
I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said âI just donât careâ. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.
Actual conversation I had at register:
âHi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?â
âHow much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?â
âI- Iâm sorry?â
âA venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?â
âOh. uh. Well, itâd be I suppose⊠I only have a button for a Quad. I donât have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single⊠drink.â
âPrice is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many âadd shotsâ is that?â
*deep breath of fear*Â âItâd be a quad with,â *clears throat*Â âuh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, maâam, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-â
âTaste means nothing to me.â
At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
âOh. Well, okay.â I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. âWe can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.â
She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
âDo you still have the âAdd Energyâ packets?â
My heart began to race at this request. âYes maâam.â
âHow many can I add?â
Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. âFor health reasons, we wonât add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.â
âOne then.â
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was ⊠not something to be spoken aloud.
My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. âNo.â
The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, âYes.â
My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Mastrenaâs of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring.Â
The barista was damn near shaking. This womanâs gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.
Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about âThe Companyâ as if weâd never left, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this story, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,Â
One time I was working bar while a slightly new barista was working register. And we had an exchange like this.
Her: âI want you to know that I double checked the number of pumps on this next drink and itâs correctâ
Me: âok, why is it a lot?â
Her: âjust know that itâs right.â
So I go okay man, because she is already helping another customer and I have drinks to make. And I look down to read the sticker I just pulled and it is for a Trenta iced coffee, no ice, 40 pumps of classic syrup.
And the other person on bar is like: âmaybe she added an extra zero on accidentâ
And I say, âno she told me she double checkedâ
And the barista on register confirms âthatâs what he asked for.â And points to a guy in a hoodie with a buz cut who looked to be in his 30âs.
So I buckle down and my fellow bar barista counts with me as I pump 40 pumps of classic syrup. (And other barista know that if you put your hand over the cup as you pump it to keep syrup from going everywhere, it splashes up and makes your hand all sticky, well my hand felt like one of those rubber sticky hands you get from the prize box at school, except my hand was industrial strength stickiness with the amount of syrup on it.) So i finish pumping and it is about three inches of pure syrup.
Lets do some math! I looked it up and a Starbucks hot bar pump is around 0.25 oz. multiplied by 40 means this drink had around 10 oz of pure sugar. This is in a trenta, the largest size available at 32 oz. and he got no ice or other add ins. Which means this man was ordering about a 2:1 ratio of coffee to sugar.
A thought i had was âmaybe heâs taking it home to water is downâ because people do that sometimes. But as I called it out and handed it to him he took a straw and took a sip. He said nothing that I remember. No comment, no response to my usual âThank you, have a nice day!â No readable emotion. And he walks out the door. We had never seen that man before and we never saw him again.
(Also we had a regular who ordered 9 shots of espresso in an iced venti mocha or latte every Saturday morning.)
istg if i see one more dumb-ass âvoteâ post im gonna go apeshit. focus on important things like union agitation and mutual aid instead of electoral guilt-tripping that wonât work
Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast.Â
âDid you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and willingness to please? Bastâs tits, thatâs a terrible thing to do to a kitten.â
Ten got up on her hind legs. âNever trust a flying thing that gives you a mouthful of glitter when you catch it. Come on, Eb, letâs give her our gifts.â
âLike half a shrew? I tried giving her that, her dam shouted at me.â
âQuite right too,â said Ten wisely, âitâs got be at least four weeks before she can manage the skulls. Thatâll be my gift then. May you always be able to manage skulls. Big ones, small ones, beaky ones, mousey ones, any sort of skull.â
Ebony copied her sisterâs pose. âAnd may you always catch the flying things. Then youâll never be hungry, and thatâs much better than fairy wishes.â
***
Thirty years later, Alba was everyoneâs favourite keeper at the zoo. Not only could she cure her colleaguesâ headaches just by telling their skulls to give over, but she was the only person theyâd ever know who could work alone in the emu enclosureâŠ
We cannot let this, weâve never allowed any crisis from the Civil War straight through to the pandemic of 17, all the way around, 16, we have never, never let our democracy sakes second fiddle, way they, we can both have a democracy an elections and at the same time correct the public health.
This isnât as bad as it sounds. Heâs probably referring to the recent Ebola epidemic that ended in 2016, which didnât become a pandemic, but I remember some people being worried about it.
No this is actually as bad as it sounds, this is not a stutter and it is very reminiscent of someone suffering from dementia, and not early stage but more like mid-to-late stage dementia. It also is similar to how someone who has had a stroke and it compromised the Brocaâs area. The man doesnt seem to have a grasp of what heâs saying and its very obvious. This is a man who in the past four years has declined significantly
I donât even post this gloating or anything. Itâs genuinely sad. And I think itâs sad that people would let him campaign when he makes no sense. He used to at least be coherent, but now he is not.
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