This might be fucked up to say,but I genuinely don’t care at this point because I felt sickened after this night.
I was at a birthday party recently, mostly with people from my generation, and we were having fun. Everything was normal until I suddenly hear one of my friends ask me:
“Do you want a boyfriend?”
Of course I said no.
Because honestly, where I live, boys my age seem to have collectively decided that being horny and possessive is a personality trait. Asking for pictures, getting jealous over every little thing, acting entitled to your attention, and somehow all of this is treated as NORMAL.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT GIRL DID AFTER I SAID NO!?
SHE GRABBED MY PHONE AND FOLLOWED A GUY FROM OUR GROUP.
A GUY WHO LIKED ME.
I WAS LIKE HELLO?????
And this is the thing about being aroace in a generation where relationships are treated like some mandatory side quest:
People don’t really understand that “no” can just mean NO.
There doesn’t have to be a hidden “maybe.”
I don’t need to “give it a chance.”
I don’t need to wait until I’m older.
I don’t need to meet the “right person.”
I don’t have some romantic puzzle piece missing from my life.
People keep telling me “you still have time” or “you just haven’t found the right person yet.”
THE THING IS, I DON’T WANNA FIND MY PERSON.
At least not in the way you’re expecting me to.
I have music.
I have studies.
I have things I want to learn.
I have an entire life I want to build.
And yeah, sometimes I might yearn for a relationship. I’m not made of stone. But I don’t want romance to be this ALWAYS ALWAYS thing hanging over my head, like I’m supposed to be searching for someone at all times
I’d rather graduate.
I’d rather figure out what I actually want from life.
I’d rather make music and study and exist and see where life takes me.
If romance happens someday, whatever.
If it doesn’t, also whatever.
I’m aroace. I’m not waiting for my life to begin when I find someone.
My life is already happening.
