My name is nebula here. I am 15 years old, autistic, and an avid user of the Oxford comma.
My interests include Pop’n music, puyo puyo Tetris, vocaloid, Lost media, precure, project sekai, kittydog, kittychannelaftan, Scott pilgrim, Danganronpa, and more, so swing round here if you’re into this kinda stuff!
I also like drawing, so I will do some art stuff here!
DNI if:
> Homophobic, Transphobic, Xenophobic, Islamophobic, etc.
> Misogynistic
> Racist, Sexist, Ableist, Discrimination, etc.
> Invalidates A Person's Pronouns/Gender/Identity
> Pedophile, Sexualizes Minors, Jokes About R×pe, etc.
Supports, participates, tolerates, or justify any of the above.
I am ok with adults interacting with me, but please don’t be creepy, k? K.
Uhhh, tag time
Nebula talks: me just talking bout stuff
(Also if u don’t want me looking at stuff tag it as #Nebuladontlook)
Progressive Christian (or whatever it’s pop’n equivalent is)
Works as a meditation teacher/hypnotherapist, but it’s rather unpopular due to stigma
Her hair is naturally ginger and VERY long. She keeps it in a ribbon to avoid it being set on fire n stuff
LOVES flowers and other flora, just abt everything she owns has flowers on it and has tons of plants
Got into meditation/progressive Christianity due to working through past trauma from her childhood, along with her disorder (I’m kinda uncomfy saying what it is due to what it is)
Description: Kiryu goes to a meditation place/hypnotherapist where he finds a way to relax
TWs/CWs: Intrusive thoughts relating to violence, panic attack
(Click “read more” to read the fic)
Kiryu was aimlessly sitting in the waiting room, waiting for his name to be called. Why did he even decide to go here? All he was doing was looking at a brochure for a weird meditation place that he assumed was a whole lot of nonsense, the next thing he was inside the building alone. It was strange, a lot of people must’ve thought the same thing and refused to go, but he decided to go after a bit of curiosity struck him after seeing it began to consume his thoughts.
It was a lot better than his usual thoughts. One second he’d be fine and the next he’d be in an absolute panic about him secretly being a horrible person and the public morals being the only thing keeping him from doing disgusting things to others and that one day he was going to snap and hurt someone he loved and-
Dammit, Kiryu thought to himself, I almost lost them. He was scrunching his eyes shut while gripping his knees tight, driving his nails into them. If he didn’t have long trousers of his uniform, then his knees would probably have red lines all over them, if he didn’t have them already. He tried breathing in and out, but all he did was make himself hyperventilate. If this was meant to be a place of peace, why was he panicking?
Just then, someone opened the door, interrupting his thoughts.
It was a woman, presumably the one who ran the place. What was her name again, Himari?
“Hey, I’m Himari. Are you the one who I’m seeing? Are you Kiryu?”
Himari was a very dated looking woman. She had light ginger hair that faded into a dirty blonde colour and almost reached her feet and green, sleepy eyes. She had hippie clothes on, in shades of green, brown, and yellow, with lots and lots of daisies in a crown on her hair and patterned on her long skirt. She had a brown jacket fallen down to her elbows and brown sandals-Kiryu thought she’d be barefoot considering this whole place seemed all hippyish.
“Oh-uh” Kiryu cleared his throat, “Yes, I am. I saw your brochure”. He tried to sound as normal as possible, giving he was having a mental breakdown just before she came in.
Himari caught on, to it, however. She tilted her head to the right. “You look upset…is everything alright?”
Kiryu was shocked by the realisation. He could barely get out any words except for a few gasping attempts at them.
Himari came over and placed her hand on Kiryu’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you out. You’re in safe hands”. Despite the fact that this was almost a complete stranger, Kiryu felt reassured by her words.
The two went down a hall and into a dark room, lit vaguely by lanterns and a small incense burner that made the whole room smell like a mix of lavender and roses. It fit, given the room’s contents had various types of flowers and other types of flora sewn, printed, or painted on it, from the tapestries on the walls, to the floor cushions that Himari was bringing Kiryu over to.
“Let’s get into position, I think this is your first time doing guided meditation, so just copy how I’m sitting”. After saying this, she got into a crossed leg position on the cushion, arms spread down and hands in the “Ok” expression. Kiryu mimicked her, trying not to knock anything over as he adjusted himself to get more comfortable.
“This is called the lotus pose, or Padmasana” Himari explained, as Kiryu looked down at himself to see if he was doing it correctly.
“Now…let’s begin. I want you to take deep breaths.”
Kiryu was questioning her methods since the last time he tried it, it just made everything worse. Still, he obeyed.
“Breathe in, feel your lungs expand….”
He took in a deep breath
“And breathe out, let it all go…”
And let it out
“Just keep on breathing, in and out, nice and slow…”
Kiryu did just that. He wasn’t going to deny it, this meditation stuff was actually really helpful. He felt a lot less tense than before. A calm feeling spread over him. All the while Himari was doing it along with him, making him feel like he wasn’t alone, making him feel safe.
And then it happened.
“You’re actually trusting this random woman?”
Kiryu attempted to ignore the thought, simply continuing to breathe.
“You don’t know what she’s doing. She’s a pervert”
Kiryu kept breathing, this time finding it a bit harder.
“You need to get out of here, get up”
No, Kiryu thought. He knew fighting with these thoughts was a fruitless task, but he truly didn’t want Himari getting hurt.
“Kick over that burner, grab the stick, BURN HER”
She’s a kind person, Kiryu argued in his head, she won’t hurt me. His breath was beginning to break up, resembling hyperventilation.
“SO WHAT? YOU’RE A MONSTER ANYWAYS NO MATTER IF SHE’S KIND OR NOT. YELL AT HER. BEAT HER UP. SLAM THE DOOR IN HER FACE.”
Kiryu’s breath had become quick and panicked. He tried to keep calm, but it was useless. He began to try what he usually did at school.
Himari had noticed Kiryu’s sudden change in behaviour and looked up to see him mumbling something to himself. She could barely make out half of the words.
“Rule 1: don’t…halls, 2…be respectful…”
Kiryu was listing off his school rules. It’s what he usually did when panicking, he knew them all back to front and up and down and from the top of his head. It was better to focus on them.
“Kiryu? Is everything alright?” The 2 toned hair woman had interrupted Kiryu’s thoughts with her words. He looked up, tears beginning to prick his eyes.
“I-I’m so…so sorry…I’m a monster, I don’t wanna hurt you…”
“Kiryu, your intrusive thoughts aren’t what you really think. It’s just your mind telling you a whole bunch of lies. You truly don’t want to hurt anyone.”
Kiryu was shocked to hear that. If it had a name, then he wasn’t the only person who had these.
“They have a name…”
Himari held the blond close to her, before putting him back, but still holding his shoulders.
“Why were you listing your school rules?”
The tone of her voice made it not come across as bullying or rudeness, but simply curiosity and earnest care.
“I know them all, and there’s lots, so I list them to give myself something good to focus on”
Himari noticed the yellow armband on Kiryu’s shoulder
“Are you part of the student council?”
Kiryu perked up a bit at being able to talk about his role. This was something he was very passionate about.
“Yes. I’m the leader of the disciplinary committee and my friends are the student council president and assistant. I take the public morals very seriously, they should always be like a calm river”
“Like a calm river…” Himari had begun to turn that part of Kiryu’s speech over in her head and an idea sprouted up in her mind. “Kiryu, picture a river in your mind”
Kiryu did as he was told, confused as to what was happening. In his head, he saw a river, lazily flowing through a forest, making quiet noises as it splashed up against the bank.
“It’s so peaceful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…”
“Fantastic…now, start taking your deep breaths again…keep focusing on the river”
Kiryu began to breath deeply once again. Tears were pouring out a bit, but it came from a severe feeling of relaxation and not sadness. It felt like he was in the river now, feeling his chest bobbing up and down from his lungs become the waves rocking him around.
“Imagine all those unwanted thoughts you’ve been having to be nothing more than bubbles made by the water. Every time one pops, the thought goes away.”
Kiryu saw them now, thoughts once terrifying and giant now made small and powerless, coming up the stream. He saw them all, one by one, popping away, never to be seen again. Pop pop pop.
He smiled, all his muscles relaxing. He felt as if he had become like a stick in the river, going with the flow, no worries, no stress, just pure relaxation.
He had become like the public morals
As calm as a river.
Himari was proud of what she had done. She’d stopped a panic attack, made the person feel less alone, and gave them a coping mechanism in case it ever happened again. For now, she was happy and satisfied seeing him in such a relaxed state, completely free from stress.
“There you go, let your mind become clear…”
After a while, Himari had decided to wake him up from the meditation.
“Now, feel yourself awakening from the river…”
Kiryu had slowly begun to awaken from his state, mumbling pleasantly. His head felt kinda fuzzy, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. It was actually really pleasant.
“So, how was it?” Himari asked.
“Thank you…I feel so…relaxed…” Kiryu had fully woken up at this point, a sense of calmness washing over him. He thought the whole thing was fake at first, but now he realised it was actually worked.
“I’m glad you are.”
Himari smiled
“Now, anytime you feel those thoughts come back, I want you to go and remember this session”. As she saki this, she cupped Kiryu’s hands in hers. “Just remember the river, and keep breathing.”
“I will, promise.”
Kiryu ended up hugging Himari tightly, letting a few moments pass before putting more distance between them.
“Woah there, groovy dude!” Himari chuckled, enjoying the hug. “Ah, you’re a real sweetheart, we should meet again sometime!”
“That would be amazing!“
And so the two promised to meet once again.
Once he left, Kiryu kept Himari’s promise and words of advice. When the his thoughts decided to become overly aggressive, he simply breathed in, breathed out, and went like a river.
Author’s note:
I DID IT, I WROTE A FIC, AND DIDN’T GIVE UP ON IT. YEAH BOIIIIIIIII.
ANYWAYS this is my first time doing personal writing in a long while, and the first time I’m publishing my writing to Tumblr, AND the first time I’m writing a scenario like this, so this is nothing but new and long forgotten experiences for me.
The character of Himari isn’t a canon character-she’s my oc. I don’t have any art of her except a Picrew. Still, I can’t wait to draw her and have her feature more in my pop’n works.
I hope you love this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!
This comic is a really great example of intrusive thoughts tbh I’m glad you went there. Reblogging this to show all my friends with intrusive thoughts we’re not alone.
"de-stigmatize mental illness!" very cool now can you please extend like one or two ounces of support towards people who have intrusive thoughts related to sexual violence.
"de-stigmatize mental illness!" very cool now can you please extend like one or two ounces of support towards people who have intrusive thoughts related to sexual violence.
This is what remains to my family and we are NOW living in a small tent 💔‼️🔕
🥺🥺✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #523 )✅️
✅️Vetted by @90-ghost
Help my family here 🙏🙏
Hello all, my name is Jess Rapoza from the USA. I am raising money on behalf … Jess Rapoza needs your support for Please Save Khaled and Nan
Everything is unbelievable and our life is hard. Everything is expensive and I need support follow you guys 🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️Every dollar you contribute will make a tangible difference in our lives. Your donations can ensure that this newborn baby has a chance at survival and that can provide my children with the necessities they deserve.
Awawawa Nebula is actually posting their own art instead of just reblogging others this is a momentous occasion get the camera/j
Anyways, onto the actual desc and my ramblings
After being inspired by the amazing @chelledoggo, I drew Kiryu in a relaxed state of mind/meditation session with a custom bg and effects made with the help of Ibispaint’s blur and smudge tools.
The quote is based off his profile quote, since I found the whole “be like a calm river” thing very chill. I had to go and add a BUNCH of details (specifically the grey and white bits) cus I forgot them lawl
He’s telling the viewers to let their mind be clear, something I need to do more often cus my brain usually has 28172 different things bouncing off its walls 24/7, which can lead to lack of focus or ruminating on my past/what could happen to me, and is starting to become a trait I project onto Kiryu. He’s got a lot in his head and this helps him relax.
I hope to make more art/writing like this, it was fun!
i wanna propose a new subgenre of hopepunk called "dark hopepunk" or "dystopian hopepunk"
basically it'd involve people in very bleak environments/situations where everything seems hopeless, but they choose to be optimistic and care for each other and try their hardest to make things better anyway.
basically a genre that combines the aesthetics of grimdark/dystopia with the ideology and optimism of hopepunk.
a genre that emphasizes finding the light in the darkness. the heaven in hell. the kindness in an unkind world.
i think we need something like that now more than ever.
I like to say that my mom is a selkie, since she loves the water so much. Her mental health recharges if she goes to the beach, she just loves the ocean.
