#BRINGVALKOBACK #BRINGBACKVALKO 27//they/them // lowkey spamn blog // 18+ Mdni! me casually out of cosplay squishy, obsessed with love & and deep space... Nerd and casual gamer // cosplayblog: @neptunes-lullaby If you heard someone say who my lads main is,... no, you didn't 👀... Im trying to write ffs but ugh I lowkey suck at finishing anything 🫡
contains: dry humping & some domesticity. that's it that's all ^.^
wc: 1.9K (idk how i did that)
i did proofread, but yk... ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜
so easy to fall in love ♡
“saturday? yeah, i got it. well, tell auntie that we’ll try our best to be there, but i can’t make any promises.”
your eyebrows furrow and your lips morph into a curious pout as you zone in on the tail end of your boyfriend’s phone call. the movie you had been streaming immediately became unimportant with the brief mention of his family claiming your full attention instead.
likely referring to another impromptu get-together that they’re clearly asking for you both to attend, you were itching to learn the details of it over the plot of a film you admittedly had little interest in before you even pressed play. the fact that the volume hadn’t made it past ten should’ve been enough to emphasize its insignificance.
“doesn’t matter to me, but i’ll ask her and see what she thinks.” valko exhales with a hum of approval in acknowledgment to whatever else his cousin was relaying, leaning back and tilting his head so that his temple can rest comfortably against your knee. with the warmth of him against you and the soft caress of his fingers along and around your ankle, little moments like these made you cherish having a man so mindlessly affectionate.
to call your boyfriend clingy was an understatement, but it was something about him that you’d never trade for anything in the world. the moment you welcomed him into your life with open arms and kissed him sweetly when he confidently asked you with the silliest smile to be his girl forever, you knew what kind of relationship it was bound to be.
to this day, it didn’t matter if he had important phone calls, intricate things to study up on, or confidential documents to overlook and analyze. one thing for certain was that he would always do any and all of it wherever you were if he could.
ten minutes go by before he’s finally sitting up and removing the earbuds from his ears and the whole headset from around his neck. whatever work he had been click-clacking away at for the last two hours after taking a shower and having dinner was disregarded when he shuts the screen of his laptop and turned to look up at you holding the cute wolf plushie he’d won for you a couple months back.
“everything okay?” you ask him softly as he faces you completely, reaching out to gently rake your fingernails through the soft and now fully dried hair right behind his ear.
getting to watch that handsome face of his fall completely relaxed and content was truly a sacred experience. his immediate submission is something you frequently tease him for when compared to his cocky demeanor, but you both knew you’d never hear the end of it should you stop for any reason.
“yeah, it’s all good. random brunch for the third time this month over the weekend. you up for it? by all means, say no if you prefer to just chill with the love of your life or whatever.”
“you and your family are just too cute. once again, i’m reminded where you get all that audacity from.”
valko grins at the giggle you can’t contain, continuing to explore the softness of your skin as you both doted on the other silently. settling between your legs while he sits on the floor was on the top of his list of his preferred kind of intimacy. “but you know i’m down if you are. i go where you go. i mean duhhh, that’s how we always move. like a pack, right?”
he leans deeper into your touch, eyes nearly falling shut completely from the euphoria he gets out of the way you love on him with one of the things he classifies as a guilty pleasure. truthfully, he wasn’t secretive about such an obsession at all, but what was known didn’t always need to be said out loud. unless used against him, of course.
“didn’t even give you any info on it yet and you’re already so eager to follow me like a good little pup, huh?”
“oh, i’m the eager one?” the protest ready to fall from his lips is first expressed in the pinch of his brows when your hand slips away from the stimulation being given to one of his favorite spots. his expressions had the tendency to give away any thoughts before he could say a word. it’s why he always says you read him better than any book he’s ever laid his eyes on.
“what the fuc—”
“watch it,” you warn playfully. whatever was to be said is swallowed down when the pads of your fingertips begin tracing the defined outline of his jawline before resting on the underside of his chin. “so quick to start with me. aren’t you supposed to be my good boy?”
valko takes your lighthearted taunting as a challenge, grasping you by the wrist and bringing it up to his nose to inhale your addictive scent and the faint aroma of your perfume.
“aren’t i always?”
“you have your moments. i’ve gotta say though, obedience looks super sexy on you.”
“hm. i bet it does.” his grin brings out the subtle dimples in his cheeks. “is it my turn to make a move now?”
he’s pulling you off the couch and on top of him before you’re capable of offering a response to his vague request. the two of you are caught in a laughing fit all the way down until his back hits the plush rug and you’re settled in his lap.
the chuckles are interrupted when you feel his not-so-little friend prodding at you for some kind of attention.
“oh, you perv.”
“perv? that’s not a nice thing to say to the man of your dreams, now is it?” he’s slipping his hands beneath your shorts as his palms slide up the outside of your thighs. “i just consider this instinctual. others would say natural. can’t blame me for what i can’t control.”
the heaviness of his hardening cock pressing into you from below had a steadily increasing heartbeat thumping in your panties. from the soft look he sports with his glasses, the oversized red sweater you got him last christmas, and the dark gray sweats doing nothing to conceal what you were quickly becoming unashamedly desperate for, no way were you getting off of him without some kind of relief.
valko watches you closely as you raise said sweater to sit below his chin, revealing the big, strong, and sculpted body that you’ve fallen helplessly head over heels for. he was hard where you were soft, and it was opposites like that that made you fit so well.
“would you look at that. and i’m the one being labeled a pervert. baby, i think we’re mixing things up.”
“can’t i admire my boyfriend? isn’t this natural?”
it’s almost like his eyes shine when you use his own words against him.
“‘course you can. in fact, you better. but…” he sniffs up at the air four times, a smug grin taking over his lips. “i’m sensing that admiration isn’t the only thing you’ve got planned in that big head of head of yours.”
“fuck off,” you laugh, pinching his nose. “and don’t act so tough.”
with one slow upward motion of your hips, the thickness pulsing against you seems to swell even bigger than before. his teeth tuck his bottom lip into his mouth from the sensation and his hold on your hips deepens, nails biting deliciously at your flesh. “admiration isn’t enough for you anyways.”
your lips fall to his quickly, tongues battling for a dominance you know he’d fight tooth and nail to be the one to conquer. but he throughly enjoys a biting prey and it’s why he loves you.
his hands are sliding out the fabric of your sleepwear to find purchase on other parts of your body the more heated your sensual exchange becomes. as he licks at the roof of your mouth and tries his hardest to devour you whole, you’re embraced by his large hands grabbing at you like the greedy beast he’s proud to be.
it’s when he makes his way back to your hips that you both know this wouldn’t last long. and when he starts to frantically guide you to grind against him faster, holding you down to feel him through the few layers of clothes that’s causing separation, instinctively you knew that it was in your best interest to prepare yourself for the more he was going to give soon after this.
“you’re not… hah—wearing underwear…” you breathe against his mouth glistening with your shared saliva. you’re quick to take off his glasses from the growing frustration of them getting in your way of being closer, discarding them towards the plush cushions with fingers crossed for a safe landing.
“aren’t you smart.” the teasing inflection in his tone and the deepness of his voice has your cunt throbbing to the point of growing uncomfortable.
your clit continues to ache the more you move with him, nipples grazing underneath your top and begging to be sucked into his mouth.
“sit up,” he says breathlessly with another sloppy kiss to your partially swollen lips.
he keeps you moving on his cock as you rise, lustful gaze focused on the way your shorts ride up your thighs and cling to your pussy from how taut he’s got them pulled to increase the friction. the outline of his dick moving against it back and forth, trying its best to nestle in between—the visual alone has him bucking up and trying to make that a reality.
valko’s hands slide up the sides of your torso and his thumbs delicately play with your peaked nipples beneath your t-shirt.
“val,” you whine, resting your hand on his chest to keep you steady as you try your hardest to not lose your shit from the sensitivity taking over everywhere. “w-want it inside. want it so bad…”
“you open that pretty mouth for everything else.” he flicks them this time to make you tense and for tears to damn near overfill both your waterlines. “should’ve just said how much you wanted to be fucked way sooner, pup. saves us so much time.”
but you can’t wait for that now, not when you’re so close. the lone idea of stopping was aggravating enough.
your head falls back from the insatiable manner in which you chase your high, using his body to the highest degree to help get you there.
“you smell so sweet,” he coos through a husky moan. “mm. you’ll let me taste it later? it’s not good to be stingy.”
“right t-there,” you mewl, pressing your lips together before your vision practically blurs and and has you seeing dots. your orgasm is cataclysmic, and valko keeps your momentum going despite the clear overstimulation you’re experiencing. hearing you sing for him like this and watching you fall apart was worth your little hits of retaliation later.
he’s not far behind you either, thick spurts of sticky cum making a complete mess in his pants soon after you cave and quickly seeps through the material to add to the wet spot in between your legs.
both of you sit breathless with the sound of your forgotten movie still playing and being the only thing to fill the silence.
“you can taste it if i can taste you, too.”
“a deal?” he raises an eyebrow as if he’s open to negations. “other than the obvious, what’s really in it for me?”
of course he never misses an opportunity to play coy.
“keep making me feel good…” your thumb swipes along his bottom lip. “and maybe you’ll find out. or are you too scared?”
you sure were bold to offer up another challenge like this. and he could show you better than he could promise that this time, he wouldn’t go easy.
a/n: ofc i haaaddd to write about that picture. i’m so obsessed with it. like i was genuinely imagining this…. i almost felt it—AND, i know we can’t really tell if he’s ooc or not but if you think he’s ooc… DON’T TELL ME!!!!!!! valko baby, you’re ALIVE over here. they can’t take you from me. i hope you enjoyed, my cuties. MWAH MWAH!!!
Sitting at work just disassociating like my situationship just broke up with me through text via a mutual friend and then fled the country. I genuinely cannot form a single coherent thought on this shit I think I’m still disturbed that it’s actually happening bcuz wtf??
This is so real... I was counting the days... I was so excited... i fell in love and now they have ripped him from my hand before I could really reach him... life is so sad anyways... i couldve really needed this ray of sunshine to brighten my day...
in another life you would’ve been mine to hold and to cherish. i’m so sorry you were hated before given the chance to steal our hearts, to tease us with your jokes and make us smile and to know what it would’ve felt like to be loved by you.
you will always forever hold a special place in my heart my ao yin </3
water splatters across the bathroom you’d just cleaned two days ago as valko shakes soapy droplets off his hair. once satisfied, he scoops up another handful, dunks it over his head, and repeats the process. he flinches when some gets in his eyes, the movement intense enough for a sizable wave to slosh out of the bathtub.
trying not to break character, you breathe slowly through your nostrils. it’s okay that he's getting water everywhere! it'll only make the experience more immersive.
peering at him from behind the door, you run your hands down your front, checking your outfit one last time. tonight, you were experimenting with the one-piece bathing suit you’d dropped half of your last paycheck on. and what better way to test it out than on the man who thinks you look good in everything? (and nothing, as he’s told you repeatedly.)
putting on a seductive smile, you saunter into the room, swaying your hips with every step. immediately, his amber eyes trail down your figure, widening and narrowing in the way that you know by now: he likes what he sees.
when you reach him, you prop your foot on the edge of the tub, making sure to show off your legs. it’s no coincidence they’re slathered in the cocoa-scented body lotion you’d bought as insurance.
as soon as he catches the scent, the motor hidden in his nose kicks on. his tongue darts across lips. “hi.”
“hi. you having fun in there?” you ask, voice carrying a sultry flair.
“i guess.” his canines are poking out. “the bubbles were a good suggestion. i like them.”
mhm. lucky for him, they cover his skin from his midriff to his ankles. otherwise, you might have already pounced on him by now—roleplay plans be damned.
“that’s great, baby. but when you go out for a swim like this, you should be sure to take the right precautions.” you puff your chest out, gesturing to your swimsuit. “maybe i can come in and give you some safety tips?”
his tail wags at the idea of you joining him. coughing, he reaches a hand back to capture it. “are you sure, though? your hair’s done all pretty. do you really want to get it wet?”
“it’s okay. i don’t mind getting real wet when i’m with you.” you lean forward to poke his still-twitching nose and shoot him a wink. “i’ll do anything to keep you safe out here. this beach isn't all sunshine, all the time. the waves can get dangerous, you know.”
at that, his tail lashes out of his grip, breaking the water’s surface with a powerful ripple.
delicious heat spreads through your lower belly. is he that worked up already?
noting your widening smirk, valko chews his bottom lip. “are you okay?”
huh? “what do you mean?”
“it’s just…usually i like when we play games, but i don’t know which one you’re playing right now. you keep talking like you’re a lifeguard or something, but…i’m not at the beach,” he says, tilting his head to the right in confusion. “this is a bathtub.”
in that instant, the bathwater reclaims its title as the wettest thing in this room.
your foot slips off the porcelain edge, and your sultry facade fades. as your shoulders sag, you can only look at him in dismay. “dude.”
“what?”
spinning on your heel, you pass the sink, then the towel cabinet. the door swings shut behind you.
“wait!” he calls. sloshing noises promise nothing good. “come back!”
your swimsuit is already sailing through the air, landing in the hamper as you flop into bed.
if i had a nickel for every time that i’ve had to mourn the loss of a character that i loved in love and deepspace, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s absolutely fucking crazy that it happened twice.
i am beyond angry, game or not, the principal of the matter is that infold, a bajillion dollar company mind you, caved in to threats of people whining and took something away many other of their fans were looking forward to.
cancelling the valko launch is not going to change anything about their behavior, in fact it just reinforces people’s worries about infold as a whole and how they just don’t care about the rest of their fans
this is a slippery slope to talk about but you can’t deny the facts that if only the global fans dissed valko or whatever, we wouldn’t be in this mess let’s be real
it has been shown again and again that cn players get what they want when they want it disregarding any other feelings about the game whether it has to do with the characters, the actual mechanics of the game, etc
this is why there’s still a lighting issue with darker skin tones, the lack of diverse hair styles, and also other issues that don’t have to do with race
this is not just about valko, this is infold telling us that they don’t care and honestly if they were going to make a game where they only listen to one specific group then they should’ve kept it that way because then many many other players wouldn’t be so disheartened by the companies blatant ignorance towards them
+ the fact that if they can remove valko just like that even after (supposedly) a year of planning the main story with him in it…yeah ok so it just doesn’t matter..i see
sorry to everyone who was looking forward to valko or not because this is not just about the fans who liked him cuz this affects the other fans as well who play the game in general
Valko being Rafayel’s foil because he gets to protect his people from annihilation while Rafayel has already lost his entire civilisation to human hands, and therefore Valko’s playfulness stems from being raised surrounded by the love of his pack while Rafayel’s playfulness is often used to obscure the melancholy accrued from surviving his people’s destruction… chicken khao soi and iced roselle
This made me fucking sob violently I need to go and Hug my baby raf so fast... he needs to be protected at all costs .... tramezzino sandwich with salame milano, arugula, honey Tomatos, stracciatella di buffula and balsamic creme
rafayel transforms into the ruthless sea god while he's inside you
it happens while his head is buried in the crook of your shoulder. you can't see his face. you aren't even aware he's changed. he just stills for a moment and inhales deeply, tickling your neck with his nose.
then he shifts a little, just enough for his cock to slip a little further inside you—testing.
he'd been rolling his hips into you in long, languid strokes. it'd been lazy and sensual. a stark contrast to the way he nudges into you now, all coiled tension.
there's no warning when the tension snaps.
he draws himself from you, right to the tip, then drives deep in one smooth motion. again and again, without hesitation, his cock spears through your walls—hips colliding into you with a weighty, almost brutal force.
and when you gasp out his name as you bounce against the mattress beneath him, he finally lifts himself from your shoulder so you can see the scales adorning his cheeks and the blue glow of his eyes.
there's no gentleness in them as he looks upon you, only the raging hedonism of a god with no one to answer to but himself.
without word, he sits back on his heels, grips your hips, and begins tugging you onto his cock. it's inhuman divine strength only you can overpower.
but you don't. instead, you bask in the mind-numbing ferocity—a willing sacrifice to your god's hunger.
summary: non mc fem!reader x rafayel | a single choice changes everything when you are placed into a moment you knew like the back of your hand. what happens when a love story that didn't belong to you starts being rewritten to accommodate your newfound role in this world?
genre/word count: self aware love interest x isekai! angst, slight fluff | 8.2k
warnings: reader is insecure and has feelings of depression. her motivations are a tiny bit selfish i guess?
a/n: hihi i'm back with the third story in the system fracture series and gosh do i loveeee this one so much! i was very inspired by a few of his cards (fireworks vow, ocean at night, oceanic exchange, tipsy, heartfelt moment, intertidal zone) and i wanted to include them in my own way as various scenes. i hope you all enjoy ♡ oh also i just want to say if you relate to the reader in anyway as i do at times i took a lot of my own feelings and put them in here and if you ever need to talk my inbox and dms are open
outside your apartment window, the city was alive. music drifted up from the street below in broken waves. car doors slamming, distant laughter, the pulse of bass from somewhere too far away to matter and somehow still close enough to sting. everyone your age seemed to exist out there, suspended inside lives that moved forward naturally. parties. friends. relationships — being wanted.
meanwhile, the only light in your room came from your phone. empty takeout containers sat abandoned on your desk beside unfinished assignments and clothes you still hadn't folded from two weeks ago.
12:47 am.
or maybe it was later, honestly you weren't sure anymore. time had stopped feeling real hours ago. on your screen, the ferris wheel turned slowly against the night sky.
fireworks bloomed overhead in soft bursts of colors. rafayel stood inside the carriage, half-lit by the shifting colors outside the glass.
you knew every expression he made in this card. every pause. every line. every tiny change in his eyes before he looked at mc.
you had replayed fireworks vow so many times the scenes no longer felt like scenes. they felt worn into you — like memories. your thumb hovered over the screen as the dialogue advanced. again. and again.
you came back because you liked the feeling of being chosen. even if it wasn't real. even if it belonged to someone else.
outside, another burst of laughter echoed through the street while you stared at the glowing screen in silence.
"must be nice."
the words slipped out before you could stop them. your chest tightened immediately afterward. because it was pathetic. pathetic to be sitting alone in the dark crying over a fictional character while everyone else was out living actual lives.
pathetic to keep returning to this one moment over and over because some part of you desperately wanted to know what it felt like to have someone look at you the way rafayel looked at mc. you wanted to know what it was like to be found and chosen again across lifetimes.
the fireworks danced across your phone screen as rafayel smiled softly, and something inside you finally cracked. the tears came hard and sudden. ugly, shaking sobs you couldn't hold back anymore. you pressed the back of your hand against your mouth to silence yourself, curling inward beneath the blankets as your breathing hitched painfully in your chest.
you didn't even know what you were crying about anymore. loneliness. exhaustion. wanting too much. wanting anything. the room blurred. your phone nearly slipped from your hands as tears hit the screen. yet the scene kept playing. ferris wheel lights. fireworks. rafayel's voice —again and again.
the audio began to distort. at first you thought it was just your headphones glitching. a faint crackle threaded through the music then static. the screen flickered and for a second, the image warped violently—colors stretching, the fireworks freezing mid-bloom.
you sat up slightly, "what?"
the room dimmed around you and your phone screen flashed white then black.
your breathing slowed or maybe time slowed. you couldn't tell. the darkness around you no longer felt empty. it was like something had finally noticed you sitting there night after night, replaying the same moment until the boundaries between wishing and watching had worn thin. and somewhere inside it, impossibly—something answered.
then suddenly your body felt distant. you weren't falling and yet your body felt weightless. then—light, color flooded back all at once. wind brushed against your skin and beneath your feet, something moved. slowly. rhythmically.
your eyes frantically took in your surroundings. you were in — a ferris wheel carriage? your breath caught as the world shaped around you in fragments. glass windows. warm lights. the distant ocean. the low mechanical hum of the ferris wheel turning high above the city.
your pulse slammed violently against your ribs. this wasn't possible. across from you at the entrace of the carriage, a familiar voice laughed softly.
──────────────────────────────
the boardwalk glittered like a living constellation. music drifted from somewhere distant, muffled by laughter. above it all, the ferris wheel rotated slowly.
one carriage at a time. one moment at a time. and somewhere below, fate missed its cue.
waiting in line was mc and rafayel. it was about to be their turn and in her nervousness, palms sweaty her phone slipped from her hand. she bent down to grab it for only a second. however enough time had gone by that the attendant waved impatiently.
"next in line quickly!"
the carriage door slid open and rafayel began walking foward not even paying attention as he was lost in thought. this was it, the moment he had been waiting for — he was going to take the next step in his relationship with mc.
you were sitting inside still trying to get a grasp on this reality you were thrown into. did you fall asleep and this was all just a dream?
mc looked up just as the doors began to close. confusion crossed her face, "wait—!"
the door sealed shut and the ferris wheel lurched upward. and suddenly, it was just you and him.
rafayel blinked once, slowly, finally turning toward you as though only now sensing another presence in the carriage.
"who are you?"
you opened your mouth but nothing came out.
the cabin swayed gently as it climbed higher. below, the world became smaller and you felt like the air was closing in.
rafayel studied you carefully now before speaking again.
"you got into the wrong carriage?"
silence settled again. awkward. strange. heavy in ways it shouldn't have been. you couldn't exactly tell him you were teleported in there. instead you glanced toward the glass window, where the city lights stretched endlessly beyond the boardwalk.
you swallowed a breath before speaking quietly
"your um girlfriend looked upset."
just then he realized he was forgetting something. mc. he quickly turned around yet he couldn't see her form from up here.
"ah right well she's not — we're not...yet anyway"
he stopped himself suddenly getting nervous. or maybe he just forgot what he was going to say. you looked back at him. for some reason, that made his expression tighten further. rafayel leaned back against the seat again, though the movement lacked his earlier ease.
"you're weirdly calm for someone who accidentally trapped themselves in a ride with a stranger."
you managed to let out a small chuckle at that. if only he knew your heart rate was exceeding normal limits, sweaty palms clinging onto the bottom of your shirt.
"i could say the same about you."
a faint spark of amusement flickered across his face before he could stop it. and there it was again — that feeling.
rafayel felt it too. you could tell by the way his gaze lingered too long. by the way he kept looking at you like he knew something he couldn’t explain. the carriage creaked softly to a stop at the very top. below, the park lights dimmed suddenly.
then the first firework exploded across the sky. right on time you thought. gold scattered through the darkness in brilliant streams.
your breath caught instinctively as more followed — crimson, silver, sapphire blue. reflections burst across the carriage windows, for a moment neither of you spoke. because this was a moment meant for someone else. this was supposed to be the turning point — the confession. the beginning of a love story carefully lining itself into place beneath fireworks and starlight.
but the wrong person had stepped into place and somehow it felt normal like maybe this was meant to happen all along.
another explosion boomed overhead, illuminating his face. rafayel looked at you then, not with confusion anymore — it was longing without reason.
"you really are a stranger," he murmured softly, almost to himself.
you smiled a little at that because you were no stranger to who he was. outside, fireworks continued painting the sky. but inside the carriage, something far more irreversible had already begun.
──────────────────────────────
it started with coincidences. that was what you told yourself at first. two days after the ferris wheel incident you saw him again beneath the aquarium tunnel. blue light rippled across the curved glass overhead while schools of silver fish drifted slowly above your heads, shimmering like scattered stars beneath water. children pressed excited hands against the glass nearby, their laughter echoing softly through the tunnel.
you stopped walking the moment you noticed him. rafayel stood several feet away, equally frozen. for a second, both of you simply stared. then his brows lifted slightly,
"you again?"
you folded your arms, immediately sulking at him, "you say that like i hunted you down at an aquarium."
his gaze flicked upward thoughtfully, "i have had crazier stalker experiences."
a laugh escaped you before you could stop it and rafayel visibly relaxed at the sound. then, without hesitation, he fell into step beside you as naturally as breathing.
"you know," he began casually, gesturing toward the fish overhead, "certain species can recognize human faces."
you glanced sideways. "are you making that up?"
"no, studies have shown that archerfish can differentiate between individual humans with surprisingly high accuracy."
you scoffed at him slightly, "that sounds fake"
he exasperated a dramatic sigh, "it’s not fake. sea otters also hold hands while sleeping so they don't drift apart."
you couldn't help yourself from letting out a little 'aw' at that. rafayel continued anyway, apparently committed to overwhelming you with aquatic trivia now.
"octupuses' have three hearts, dolphins use regional dialect to communicate —"
"you looked these up before coming here, didn't you?" you interrupted with a laugh
he looked offended, "i'll have you know my ocean knowledge is naturally acquired."
"naturally acquired huh?"
he was the god of the sea after all but you couldn't let on that you knew that fact about him.
rafayel clicked his tongue dramatically, but you caught the faint smile threatening the corner of his mouth. you should have laughed politely and left. instead, you stayed beside him beneath the ripples of water above. and somehow, that became a pattern.
after that, running into rafayel stopped feeling surprising. sometimes it was a café or art gallery. other times it was a bookstore. you started to feel comforted by the thought that if you turned your head in a crowded place, he would already be there looking back at you. and somehow, every encounter lasted longer than the one before.
──────────────────────────────
the shoreline glowed gold beneath the night sky. hundreds of floating lanterns drifted across the dark ocean like pieces of fallen stars, their reflections trembling softly against the waves. you sat near the waterline, carefully folding thin paper around the frame of your lantern while sea wind tugged gently at your sleeves.
the festival buzzed quietly around you. families laughing. children racing through the sand. wishes being written down and surrendered to the sea. you stared at the blank slip of paper in your hands for a long moment before finally writing — please let me stay.
the words made your throat tighten instantly. you folded the paper away quickly before you could regret it.
then a voice behind you, "you're supposed to make a hopeful face while writing those."
your breath caught. you knew he would show up eventually. rafayel moved closer to you holding his own lantern.
"oh well fancy seeing you here" you said teasingly
"i know we got to stop meeting like this" he joked
"well where's the mystery in that?" you said nudging his shoulder with your own
"well darn now you know where my secret beach spot is" he said
"our beach spot now, apparently."
the words left before you could think them through. rafayel felt a warmth in his chest at the mention of — our.
you glanced toward his folded wish note curiously, "what did you write?"
"can't tell you or it won't come true"
you rolled your eyes, "i didn't know you were so superstitious"
"my lips are sealed" he said before pretending to close them with a key and throwing it away
for a while, neither of you spoke. only the sound of waves. lantern light reflected in rafayel’s eyes when he finally looked toward you again.
"you really like this place, huh?"
your fingers tightened around your lantern. worried the world might take it away — and this moment with it
"yeah..."
because this world no longer felt temporary. it had started feeling real.
he watched the ocean quietly before saying, "i pray that your hopes never go out"
your breath caught. you remembered those words from another card. another memory that wasn't supposed to belong to you. but the way rafayel looked at you afterward made them impossible to ignore.
after sea lantern night, the line between coincidence and intention began to blur. rafayel started texting randomly at first. then constantly. pictures of stray cats, he claimed, 'were out to get him'. voice messages complaining how he had no inspiration or willpower to paint and he needed you to inspire him. suddenly spending time together stopped feeling accidental. it simply became part of your routine. dangerous in how natural it felt.
──────────────────────────────
it had been about a month of being in this world. things between you and rafayel falling slowly into place. some moments came naturally and unscripted while others you instictively knew were from various memory cards in the game. except much like in the game they appeared out of order, creating a timeline that wasn't reliable. like in this particular moment. it was almost as if two key memories were being blended together to escalate your progess further.
the city shined after rainfall. storefront lights reflected across wet pavement while crowds drifted lazily through the evening streets, umbrellas tucked beneath arms now that the storm had finally passed. the air felt cool against your skin as you walked beside rafayel through rows of tiny boutiques and street vendors. he had picked you up earlier under the guise that he needed your input, gift shopping for his aunt talia. now here you were several hours later, with no present to show for it.
"you realize," you said, glancing sideways at him, "normal people don't spend three hours wandering stores without buying anything."
rafayel looked deeply offended. "excuse you! it is called window shopping for a reason."
you sighed out, "you've touched every object in this city and purchased exactly zero things!"
"i'm selective." he muttered
"you're dramatic." you fired back
"that too."
you laughed out loud at that. rafayel immediately looked toward you at the sound. there it was again — that look.
you noticed it constantly now. the way his expression softened before he realized it. the way his attention found you instinctively in every room. like some invisible thread kept pulling his gaze back no matter how hard he ignored it. it should have unsettled you. instead, warmth spread through your chest every single time.
rainwater dripped quietly from awnings overhead as the two of you slowed near a small jewelry stand tucked between shops. you barely glanced toward it before continuing forward.
rafayel stopped walking.
you turned back, "what?"
he didn't answer immediately.
instead, he reached toward one of the displays carefully.
a necklace hung near the center — delicate silver chain, a tiny scarlet gemstone suspended within a flame-shaped setting. the red caught the light strangely, glowing warm against his fingertips. rafayel studied it for a second too long before holding it up toward you.
"this suits you."
you blinked, "you decided that fast?"
"i'm an artist."
you rolled your eyes automatically, but your chest tightened when he stepped closer.
"turn around."
your heartbeat stumbled. slowly, you obeyed. the world suddenly felt far too quiet. you could hear the soft click of the necklace unclasping behind you. feel the warmth of rafayel's fingers briefly brushing the back of your neck as he fastened it carefully into place.
"you know in some cultures," he murmured thoughtfully, "flames symbolize enduring connections."
you gulped before answering, "that sounds suspiciously romantic."
"it's true." his thumb brushed lightly over the curve of your neck.
"fire disappears if you neglect it…but if it survives, it means something kept protecting it."
the touch lingered longer than necessary. or maybe you only imagined that because of how hard your pulse was beating. when you turned back toward him, rafayel was already staring. not at the necklace — at you.
for a moment, neither of you spoke. then quietly, before you could stop yourself, you whispered "you keep looking at me like you know me."
it had been like that since the ferris wheel which should be impossible. something shifted in his expression instantly. like the words struck somewhere deep inside him.
rafayel exhaled softly through his nose, glancing away for the briefest second before looking back at you again.
"when we met on the ferris wheel…" he paused carefully, "did you feel strange too?"
your heartbeat stumbled harder. you tried for lightness. "strange how?"
his gaze held yours steadily now, "like we skipped something."
the noise of the city faded around you. rafayel laughed quietly under his breath, frustrated with himself.
"it sounds ridiculous," but he still stepped closer
"every time i'm around you," he murmured, "it feels like i'm remembering something that never happened."
your chest ached. because you understood exactly what he meant. the charade was fading and the terrifying part was how natural it felt. how easily the world bent around the two of you. maybe even welcomed it.
rafayel's eyes flickered briefly toward the flame necklace resting against your collarbone. then back to your face.
"you know what's worse?" he asked softly.
you breathed out a quiet "what?"
"i don't think i want it to stop."
the confession settled between you like something fragile and irreversible. you should have stepped away. instead, you whispered,
"neither do i."
rafayel went very still. then slowly—carefully, he reached up, fingers brushing gently against your jaw. like he was afraid you might disappear.
"you make this feel dangerous," he whispered quietly.
your voice cracked, "maybe it is."
"probably" he smirked
and despite the words, he moved closer anyway. rafayel hesitated only once. like he was giving the universe one final chance to intervene — it didn't. so he kissed you, softly at first. but the moment you kissed him back, something inside him unraveled completely. his hand slid against your waist, pulling you closer with sudden desperate warmth as though instinct had overtaken reason entirely.
the rain disappeared. there was only him. and somewhere far away, a phone vibrated unanswered inside his pocket. mc's caller id appearing faintly on the screen.
─────────────────────────────
at first, mc thought she was imagining it. people forgot things sometimes. plans changed. feelings changed, that was normal — wasn't it?
she noticed it like tiny, impossible fractures in her life. photos on her phone that felt wrong somehow. expressions altered. spaces beside her that looked strangely empty, like someone had been cropped out of reality itself.
then there was rafayel. that hurt worst of all. because he still cared. she could tell he did. but something fundamental had shifted between them after the ferris wheel. like she was reaching for him through glass now. close enough to see yet too far to touch.
he would call sometimes, at odd hours, but she was used to that kind of thing as a hunter. his voice sounded different. there was more awkward pauses before he ultimately would just say he had to go and hang up.
one day she happened to be walking past his art studio and she saw — you. and every time he smiled at you, something inside her screamed that it wasn't supposed to happen. that you weren't supposed to happen. after that day she started investigating. quietly at first. then obsessively.
she retraced timelines, messages, locations, dates. and every trail led back to one impossible point — the night she missed the ferris wheel. after that, everything diverged. like reality itself had taken a wrong turn. or maybe a deliberate one.
which was how she ended up standing across from you now in a near-empty train station at midnight, fluorescent lights buzzing overhead. you froze the moment you saw her. because something in her expression immediately told you this was no coincidence. she stepped closer slowly.
"you know something."
your throat tightened, "i don't know what you mean."
"stop lying."
the sharpness in her voice startled even herself. for a second, hurt flashed across her face immediately afterward — not directed at you, but at everything unraveling around her.
"you appeared," she continued quietly, "and suddenly my life started disappearing."
you looked away instinctively. because she wasn't wrong. that was the unbearable part.
"i'm not trying to take anything from you," you whispered.
she stuttered briefly before finding her voice
"then why does it feel like you already have?"
silence. heavy. merciless. the station lights flickered once overhead.
mc laughed softly then, but the sound cracked apart halfway through. "do you know what the worst part is?"
you couldn't answer.
"i don't even think it's just rafayel anymore."
her eyes met yours again, shining with exhausted desperation.
"it feels like i'm losing…myself."
your heart sunk because lately, you had noticed strange things too. people remembering you where they shouldn't. places feeling familiar before you'd ever visited them. the world was making room for you, and in exchange, it was slowly pushing her out.
"i don't understand what's happening," you admitted finally.
mc searched your face carefully, perhaps looking for cruelty there. but all she found was guilt. fear. and something even worse. you loved him.
"you should hate me," you said quietly.
"i want to."
the honesty stung.
"but i don't think this is your fault."
you swallowed hard, "then whose fault is it?"
neither of you had an answer. mc wrapped her arms around herself slightly, suddenly looking smaller than before.
"i keep having these weird feelings," she murmured. "like there's something important i'm supposed to remember."
your heartbeat quickened.
"but every time i get close…" she frowned faintly.
"it slips away."
a strange chill crawled down your spine. for one gut wrenching moment, you almost told her everything.
mc took another slow step toward you, "you care about him."
not a question. you nodded weakly. her eyes closed briefly, like she had hoped you would deny it.
"and he cares about you."
this time, you couldn't answer at all. because silence was answer enough. something in her expression dimmed then. not anger, not jealousy — something sadder. like she could already feel this false reality choosing against her.
"i don't know how to fix this," you whispered tears beginning to well up in your eyes.
she sighed lowly, "that makes two of us."
the train station announcement crackled overhead, startling both of you. when you looked back at her, mc seemed suddenly distant somehow like static at the edge of a screen. and for the first time, genuine fear settled into your stomach.
because what if she was right? what if the world really was rewriting itself around you? more importantly—what happened to the person being erased?
mc turned toward the departing train slowly. without looking back, she asked softly, "if you had the choice…would you leave?"
your breath caught. because you already knew the answer. and that was the most horrible thing of all.
"i don't think i can anymore."
─────────────────────────────
after you met mc that night, a flip in you switched. you had always been somewhat aware that at some point this could all end in one fell swoop. but you lost yourself in this reality...in him. the way he made you feel things you have never experienced in your life.
you were in his apartment, sitting awkwardly on his bed. fingers fumbling in your lap.
"you've been quiet tonight," rafayel said softly
he looked at you with that stare. the one that no longer startled you because it had become so painfully familiar. fondness — real undeniable fondness. somewhere along the way it had stopped being accidental. stopped being laced with confusion and curiosity.
you have become woven into the spaces of his life so naturally it was difficult to remember there had ever been a different person in place beside him before.
that should have frightened you more than it did. instead, your chest fluttered with warmth every time he reached for you without thinking. like now, his fingers brushed yours lightly.
the contact sent guilt curling sharply through your stomach. because this moment mattered in a way that was different from the rest. you already knew what was supposed to come next and you could feel it.
the atmosphere itself seemed charged with inevitability, the same way it had on the ferris wheel beneath the fireworks. a turning point.
despite yourself, you smiled faintly and rafayel's expression softened immediately at the sight.
"talk to me," he muttered taking your hand in his and placing a soft kiss in its wake.
your heartbeat stumbled. how could you explain this fear to him? that every time your relationship deepened, reality itself seemed to shift around you. like each moment pulled him further away from the life originally written for him. and yet—every time he touched you, you forgot why you were supposed to resist.
you looked away first. big mistake. because rafayel's fingers lifted gently beneath your chin, guiding your gaze back toward him.
"don't disappear on me," he said softly.
the tenderness in his voice nearly destroyed your resolve. rafayel smiled faintly before it faded again into something heavier. hungrier. his thumb brushed slowly along your jaw. then his eyes flickered toward your lips. the air shifted instantly.
"you know," he murmured quietly, "i think i've been trying not to do this all night."
"do what?" the words barely came out of your throat
instead of answering, he kissed you. not soft this time. not hesitant. the kiss hit you with startling intensity, immediate and consuming like he had finally snapped after holding himself back for far too long.
your breath faltered against his mouth.
rafayel’s hand slid firmly to your waist, pulling you up against him in one smooth motion until you stumbled backward onto the blankets beneath you.
rafayel barely seemed aware of anything except you. the restraint he usually carried so carefully was unraveling now piece by piece beneath his hands. his mouth moved against yours deeply, desperately, like he was trying to memorize you through touch alone.
and maybe that was what scared you most — how much he wanted you. how naturally devotion had transformed into need. your fingers tightened instinctively against the fabric of his shirt as he kissed you again, slower this time but somehow even more desperate.
his forehead rested briefly against yours afterward, breathing uneven.
guilt twisted sharply through your chest as you met his stare. but rafayel only touched your face gently, eyes searching yours with unbearable intensity.
you swallowed hard. you didn't want to stop this but you had to.
"rafayel…"
his eyes changed then. locked in and focused.
you almost told him then. almost confessed everything. that you weren't supposed to be here. that somehow you had stepped into a life already written for someone else. that every moment between you carried the ghost of another future buried beneath it.
as if he knew you were about to confess a dark and heartbreaking truth he stopped you.
"don't."
the single word sounded almost pleading.
he leaned down to plant his lips on yours again then jumped back. there was a slam from inside the room — where mc stood breathless.
her eyes found yours instantly. then rafayel's. and the devastation in her expression made your stomach drop.
rafayel frowned immediately, "what are you doing here?"
she ignored the question. instead, she stared directly at you and said, "tell him."
your heartbeat thundered. rafayel looked between the two of you slowly, confusion hardening into suspicion.
"tell me what?"
mc laughed softly, but it sounded frayed at the edges.
"you feel it too, don't you?" she asked him. "that something’s isn't right?"
rafayel's expression darkened slightly.
"no one will explain anything to me."
"because she says she can't!"
your breath caught sharply, "stop."
but she kept going, desperation bleeding through every word now.
"she appeared and everything changed. you changed." her voice trembled.
"you were supposed to—"
she stopped herself abruptly. pain flashed across her face. like something invisible had tightened around her throat.
rafayel stepped forward immediately, "supposed to what?"
mc pressed a hand against her head, wincing.
"be with me—" her breathing became uneven as she was hit with a surge of pain.
fear laced through you. because the air itself felt unstable like reality was finally catching on to you.
rafayel grabbed her shoulders carefully, "hey look at me."
but she looked at you instead. and in her eyes was something horrifyingly close to pleading.
"tell him," she whispered again, "please."
because she couldn't anymore. whatever force governed this twisted story was already silencing her. the realization made you feel sick. rafayel turned slowly toward you then. and for the first time since meeting him, genuine hurt flickered across his face. not because he understood what was going on, but because he knew you'd been hiding something all along.
"what is she talking about?"
you opened your mouth. closed it again.
you could still lie. you could still protect this fragile happiness for a little longer. but one look at rafayel's expression destroyed that possibility instantly. because he trusted you. and maybe that was the cruelest part of all.
your voice came out barely above a whisper, "i wasn't supposed to meet you."
the silence afterward felt endless. rafayel stared at you.
"but you already figured that part out"
you forced yourself to continue despite the way your hands trembled.
"that night on the ferris wheel…" your throat tightened painfully. "she was supposed to get on instead of me."
rafayel's brows furrowed slowly, "we already knew that but what does that even mean?"
"it means…" you inhaled shakily. "every moment after that changed because i was there."
the words sounded insane aloud yet somewhere deep down, rafayel already knew. you could see it in his face. because he had felt it too from the beginning. that strange sense of displaced destiny. the unbearable familiarity. the feeling of stepping into moments already waiting for him.
rafayel took a slow step backward. not away from danger — away from you. and somehow that hurt more than anything else ever could.
"you're saying…" his voice lowered carefully, "this wasn't supposed to happen?"
tears burned unexpectedly behind your eyes, "no"
the answer shattered something in the silence between you. mc closed her eyes. rafayel looked between both of you — one girl being erased, the other taking her place without ever meaning to.
and the worst part? even now, even after hearing the truth he still looked at you like he loved you.
"how did this happen?" he forced himself to ask, voice breaking.
there was no point hiding anymore. you wrapped your arms around yourself tightly, grounding against the trembling in your body.
"i'm not from here," you whispered.
rafayel's brows furrowed immediately, "what does that mean?"
"it means…" your throat tightened painfully. "your world isn't my world."
mc remained silent near the doorway, listening as you forced yourself to continue.
"in my world, you weren't…" you swallowed hard. "real."
the words visibly struck him. rafayel stared at you, stunned into stillness.
"you were a character," you admitted softly. "in a game."
silence. complete and horrifying. but you kept going before fear could stop you.
"i knew you through stories. through memories. through these moments you were meant to share with her."
your eyes flickered briefly toward the MC.
"the ferris wheel. the aquarium. sea lantern night." each word hurt more than the last. "i knew all of them already because i had watched them happen before."
the air in the apartment suddenly felt suffocating. rafayel's breathing had gone shallow. you could practically see the pieces connecting inside his mind now.
"all those times you said it felt like we skipped something…" your voice cracked. "it's because we did."
you glanced down at your shaking hands. tears beginning to blur your vision.
"but somehow," you continued softly, “everything kept trying to happen anyway.”
your eyes lifted past rafayel toward mc
"just with me instead of her."
the truth settled brutally between all three of you. because now every impossible coincidence made sense. every repeated moment. every strange feeling of inevitability. the universe hadn’t stopped moving forward - it had simply rewritten the roles.
rafayel dragged a hand slowly over his face, visibly overwhelmed.
"so all this time…" his voice came out rougher now. "you knew?"
tears slipped free before you could stop them.
"yes."
"and you still stayed."
the accusation wasn't cruel. that somehow made it worse.
"i couldn't just go back home," you whispered desperately. "at first i thought if i avoided you maybe things would fix themselves, but every time i tried—"
“you appeared in my path regardless." he interrupted
you nodded weakly. rafayel's expression cracked. because now he understood. not just what happened. but why you looked at him with guilt from the very beginning.
"i tried not to want it," you whispered. "but then you started looking at me like…" your breath hitched painfully. "like i mattered too."
rafayel closed his eyes briefly. like the truth physically hurt to hear.
then suddenly—pain twisted across his expression. he staggered back slightly, pressing a hand against his temple. the world fractured.
fireworks above a ferris wheel. a hand in his. mc laughing beneath glowing lantern lights. shared promises. countless moments crashing violently through his mind in flashes too fast to fully understand.
but beneath them all lay something older. deeper. a grief carved into his soul long before this life. the ocean. endless blue water. mc reaching toward him across lifetimes stained with tragedy and devotion. a love that had repeated itself again and again through different eras, different endings, different names. memory after memory — written into him. fate. code. destiny. whatever name it carried, it had existed long before you arrived.
rafayel sucked in a sharp breath, visibly shaken.
mc stepped toward him instinctively. "raf—"
but he flinched. not from her. from the overwhelming collision inside his own mind. because now he remembered both. what was written. and what had changed.
his eyes lifted toward you again. and somehow that look hurt worst of all. like his heart had been split violently down the center.
you couldn't bear it. the guilt became unbearable so suddenly it nearly crushed your lungs.
"i'm sorry," you whispered.
rafayel immediately stepped forward at the sound of your voice, instinct overriding confusion for a brief second.
but you were already backing away.
"i'm sorry," you repeated, more broken this time.
then you turned and left before either of them could stop you.
──────────────────────────────
the shore was empty at night. cold waves rolled endlessly onto dark sand beneath a moon obscured by clouds. the wind tasted like salt and stormwater, biting against your skin as you walked closer to the edge of the sea.
you barely felt it. your mind replayed the look on rafayel’s face over and over again. that devastation. that impossible ache. because he remembered her now. not just this life — all the others. every love story that belonged to them before you existed here.
of course you never stood a chance against something like that. you were an interruption. a mistake. a distortion in a narrative desperately trying to correct itself. and the worst part? you had let yourself believe it was real.
the happiness, his touch, the way he looked at you like you were inevitable. you laughed sofly then, but the sound dissolved immediately into a sob.
"how cruel," you whispered into the wind. cruel of this world to bring you here at all. to let you feel loved. to place you inside a story where you knew every possible outcome. where you were never meant to stay.
you stepped closer to the waterline. foam curled around your feet before retreating again. for a long moment, you simply stared out at the dark horizon. then quietly, desperately you spoke out loud to the world itself. for the first time since you arrived.
"send me back"
only the waves answered. you clenched your fists.
"you dragged me here!" your voice cracked violently through the empty shore. "you could have just left me alone...in my room"
nothing. no strange pull. no shift in reality. no response. the air remained still. and suddenly that terrified you more than anything else had. the only reason you had for living, belonging in this world was gone. if you were stuck here, what would that do? to you, but most importantly to him? would the story contnue breaking apart around you until nothing remained? or worse, would rafayel eventually choose what had already been written?
your breathing became uneven, "you don't get to do this to me," you whispered shakily. "you don't get to give me a place here then rip it away"
still nothing. no sign that anyone or anything was listening anymore. the world had stopped responding. and for the first time since you arrived here, you felt that familiar ache in your chest. that unbearing lonliness.
tears finally slipped free, "i don't want to ruin him"
the confession disappeared into the sound of the ocean. and somewhere behind you, footsteps stopped against the sand.
you froze. because even before he spoke, you already knew who it was. rafayel's voice came quietly through the dark, "then why did you leave me alone with those memories?"
rafayel stood several feet behind you, but his expression remained shadowed. unreadable.
your chest tightened painfully.
"you shouldn't be here," you whispered.
rafayel laughed softly under his breath. not amused. exhausted.
"you don't get to tell me where i'm allowed to be."
you winced at the tone of his voice. you couldn't bear to turn around to look at him. not after what you’d done. not after everything he knew now.
then quietly, rafayel asked, "was any of it real to you?"
you turned toward him instantly, "please don't."
his jaw tightened slightly.
"you knew who i was before we met. you knew what was supposed to happen." his voice remained calm, but barely. "so tell me honestly—when you looked at me, was it ever really me?"
pain tore sharply through your chest.
"you think i fell in love with some version of you that didn't exist?" your voice cracked. "rafayel, i wish it had been that simple.”
tears burned behind your eyes as you forced yourself to keep talking.
"i found the game — no you, during a really bad time in my life." your voice trembled despite your efforts to steady it. "i was lonely. desperate, honestly. and somehow…"
you laughed weakly through the ache in your chest. "you became the person i turned to."
the wind whipped violently around both of you.
"when things got bad, i turned to you." your voice softened shakily. "i know that sounds pathetic."
"it doesn't."
the immediate answer startled you. rafayel stood closer now. close enough that your pulse already felt uneven again.
"you smiled at me. listened to me. comforted me."
tears slipped down your face and hit the seafoam below.
"you became the person i ran to whenever i needed love from somewhere.”
rafayel's expression shifted subtly. he looked wounded.
you wiped helplessly at your face, laughing shakily, "do you know how cruel this is? meeting someone you already loved only to realize they belonged to someone else first?"
the ocean roared softly behind you. you looked at him finally then, completely defenseless beneath the weight of the truth.
"so when i got here and suddenly you were standing in front of me, actually real, actually looking at me—how was i supposed to survive that?"
rafayel stared at you without speaking. like every word was carving itself directly into him.
you pressed trembling fingers against your eyes briefly. "so instead of surviving, for the first time in my life i started living."
the next words came quiet, "because somewhere along the way…you stopped feeling like a character to me."
rafayel's gaze flickered downward briefly. when he looked at you again, his voice came quiet.
"so what am i to you now?"
everything you thought to yourself.
but the answer you gave came out barely above a whisper.
"someone i was never supposed to have."
──────────────────────────────
rafayel tried — god he tried. after the beach, after the truth, after everything shattered open between the three of you, he tried to return to the life that had been written for him. and for a while he convinved himself it might still work. that maybe fate could be repaired. that maybe memories older than lifetimes would eventually overpower the feelings he had for you. maybe if he stood beside mc long enough, the world would settle back into place.
so he stayed. he answered her calls. he walked beside her through familiar streets. sat across from her at cafes that once felt effortless.
and mc tried too. neither of them spoke about the cracks between them. not at first. but silence could not hide what both of them already knew. something fundamental had changed. because every moment that should have felt natural now felt rehearsed. like actors attempting to recreate scenes from a script they no longer believed in.
mc had remembered enough yet rafayel remembered everything. he remembered loving her so fiercely it destroyed worlds. and yet when he looked at her now, it no longer felt like the present. it felt like a memory. beautiful, and important — but over.
one evening the two of them sat quietly near the lighthouse as sunset bled gold across the water. neither had spoken for several minutes. finally the mc asked softly, "you love her?"
rafayel closed his eyes briefly. there was no point in lying anymore. it did more harm than good anyway.
"yes"
the answer hurt her — he saw it. but strangely it also relieved her. because she was tired too. tired of fighting this new reality. tired of clinging to a future that no longer fit either of them. the mc stared out across the ocean, expression unreadable.
"you know," she murmured quietly, "i kept thinking if i tried hard enough things would go back to normal."
rafayel looked down at his hands. paint covered them. he had been distracting himself by pouring his emotions into art.
"but they won't."
a long silence followed then unexpectedly she laughed softly. not bitter just sad.
"i think...part of me already knew."
the wind carried her fair across her face as she turned toward him again.
"and honestly?" her smile trembled faintly. "it stopped feeling right for me too."
rafayel's chest tightened. because that was the final cruelty of all of this. no one had truly won. the story itself had simply changed.
mc exhaled slowly leaning back against the stone bench and the glowing light of the lighthouse rippled across the water.
"maybe being 'meant for someone' isnt as permanent as we thought."
rafayel looked at her then. not as the girl once tied him too, but as someone who had suffered beside him through something neither of them could control. and quietly, sincerly he said, "i'm sorry."
she smiled sadly, "i know."
something peaceful settled between them after that. two people letting go of a future already gone. then suddenly a sharp electronic beeping cut through the air. mc frowned immediately glancing down at her hunter's watch. the screen flickered violently. warning signals flashing red. her expression changed instantly.
"rafayel"
something cold slid through his stomach, "what is it?"
the beeping grew louder — erratic. the mc stared at the screen in disbelief before looking up at him, "it's her"
rafayel stood so abruptly the bench scraped harshly against the pavement, "where?"
mc's gaze shifted slowly towards the distant skyline behind you. towards the boardwalk — the ferris wheel.
his heart stopped. of course, the place where everything changed. before mc could say another word, rafayel was already running.
the boardwalk was nearly empty by the time he arrived. lights flickered softly across the abandoned rides while music echoed faintly through the air like a distant memory. at the center of it all the ferris wheel turned slowly against the sky — and there you were, standing alone beneath it.
your figure looked strangely transparent beneath the lights now, edges flickering faintly like unstable static. the sight nearly destroyed him.
you looked up as he approached. relief and heartbreak crossed your face simultaneously, "you shouldn't be here" you whispered weakly.
rafayel's chest ached violently at the sound of your voice. there you went again trying to tell him where he was allowed to stand with you.
"really because for the first time i think this is exactly where i'm supposed to be"
your eyes shimmered. not wanting to let him see you cry you looked away, "no you finally remembered everything. you know who she is to you."
"i do"
pain flashed across your face. he stepped closer anyway, his voice carrying through the wind, "and i know who you are to me too."
the ferris wheel groaned softly overhead. around you the air distorted unnaturally. reality itself trembling. finally answering after all this time.
you still couldn't dare to look at him, "the world's trying to fix itself."
"no" his voice steadied, he was closer to you know, you could feel warmth on your back. "it already had the chance."
the lights around flickered violently as your form destabilized again — sending a shiver right through you. this time full panic broke across rafayels face. he reached his arms around you instinctively and the world held its breath. for one horrible second you expected reality to stop him. to tear you apart. to erase you completely but nothing happened. no force intervened. no correction came. the air stilled. the lights steadied. and rafayels arms closed around your waist without resistance — warm and real.
you turned around in his grasp and your breath caught sharply. rafayel stared at you like he could hardly believe it himself. behind him, fireworks suddenly exploded across the sky just like before. except this time the moment belonged to you. it wasn't stolen. it wasn't mistaken. it was yours.
tears slipped down your face before you could stop them.
"what do i do now?" you whispered
"you let me choose you." the answer came without hesitation.
rafayel stepped closer, fingers tightening around yours carefully like he was afraid you might still disappear.
the words shattered something open inside you. for the first time since arriving in this world, nothing in his expression held confusion or conflict or hesitation. only you.
pain flickered briefly through your chest before he stepped even closer, lifting one hand gently to your face. rafayel brushed his thumb beneath your eye, catching a tear before it could fall.
"you spent so long believing you stole this from someone else," he murmured softly. "but if this world truly wanted to reject you…"
his forehead rested lightly against yours, "why does it keep bringing me back to you?"
your chest ached so violently with emotion you could barely breathe.
the lights around the park no longer flickered. the air no longer trembled. for the first time, reality felt calm. like the universe itself had finally gone quiet in acceptance.
rafayel looked at you like he felt it too. then softly—almost reverently—he kissed you. it wasn't desperate like at his apartment. not hesitant like the first time. this kiss felt like coming home.
his hands slid gently around to your back, grounding you against him as though he wanted you to understand that you were real here now. that you were staying.
the fireworks continued exploding overhead, bright reflections scattering across the wet pavement beneath the ferris wheel.
you melted into him with a shaky breath, fingers curling against the fabric of his coat as all the fear and guilt and longing unraveled all at once inside your chest.
rafayel kissed you deeper slowly, tenderly, like he was choosing you again with every passing second.
and this time nothing pulled him away. no force corrected the moment. no invisible hand rewrote the scene. the universe simply let it happen.
when he finally pulled back, only barely, his forehead remained against yours while your breaths tangled together. a soft smile touched his lips.
"maybe you weren't written into my story originally", he said softly. the fireworks illuminating his face in brilliant color.
"but somewhere along the way it became our story"
and for the first time since arriving in this world you and the universe said nothing against it.
My first row Of ships - those are my 3 MC's Mains. Im gonna do all LI's with my mcs (except Valko for now bc he isnt really out yet and I gotta get to know him better first ehehehe)
(Btw my Mcs arent really selfinsert so I went by the Lore age. I am 27 myself and maybe Ill make an Mc that is more me someday but for now its just gon be my guuurls. Their Main pick btw doesnt represent my LI ranking or smth)
This cute Chart template was provided by @qintten
💬 18 🔁 29 ❤️ 107 · lads ship chart template ━ ✧ ₊˚ · wanna introduce your mc and your LI? ٩(>ᴗ<)و
here's a cute little template you can
Borders are selfmade via Picsart! Feel free to safe and use them haha they werent difficult to make lol
summary: non mc fem!reader x xavier | reader's world is very ready player one inspired. you fall into a world unknown to you after a vr headset malfunctions. you meet a stranger who helps you after a dangerous wanderer attack, and you continue to cross paths and grow closer in ways the world and yourselves don't fully know how to respond to.
genre/word count: isekai x self aware love interest! angst with hints of fluff | 10.2k
warnings: none!
a/n: i hope you all are ready for xavier's part in the system fracture series. this one was probably the most interesting for me to write! i had a lot of ideas so i hope they translated well.
the last thing you remember clearly is soft blue light cutting across a dark room. the faint hum of your system. fingers tightening around the controller as the fight reaches its final phase.
xavier is on screen. "watch your back" his voice says through the game — calm and precise.
you laugh under your breath, "i'm literally carrying you right now."
a flicker of static cuts through the display. you pause.
"that's new"
the environment glitches—just for a second. the sky tears like fabric. the sound of the wanderers screeching distorts. then your screen cuts to black.
a sharp, white crack of light explodes through your vision. a zap follows through your body, a sharp pain following immediately after. your whole body locks up.
"what—"
silence.
you gasp and rip something off your face. your hands shaking so badly you almost drop it. it's your headset — but it's dead. and you are now outside?
you stumble backward as concrete bites into your palms. soft droplets of rain fall on your face. your breath catches hard as you look up. the sky is wrong, different from the one you know.
buildings rise around you in broken silhouettes and neon signs flicker somewhere far away — but not here. not in the part of the city that feels abandoned, like it’s been left to rot mid-story.
your chest tightens. "no," you whisper. "no no no, this isn't, this is still—"
a sound cuts through your panic. metal scraping and slow footsteps behind you. you turn too fast, and see it. a strange figure moving through the alley. not quite human in how it holds itself up. it's giant triangular head tilts to the side. you can't breathe and your body reacts before your mind does—you run.
your foot slips almost immediately. you hit the ground hard as pain shoots up your arm. the creature behind you moves faster and a claw grabs your ankle.
you scream, "let go—LET GO!"
you close your eyes. this is it, this is where you die. then the world around you shifts as a flash of light splits the alley in half. a single slice echoes through the space, then the weight on your ankle disappears. you don't move — you can't.
footsteps approach, slower now, more human. someone steps into your field of view. a shadow of a man, with his weapon still raised. a sword with a star tassle hanging from the handle. he has a calm posture, like none of this is unusual —until he sees your figure. his eyes land on you like he’s reading something that doesn’t make sense.
"you're alive?" he says.
your throat is dry. "i—" your voice breaks. "i don't know where i am."
another step closer. you flinch instinctively. he notices and pauses, studying your moves carefully.
"they were going to kill you," he says instead
you look at him now as the faint streetlights hit his face. his blonde hair and blue eyes shining under the soft moonlight.
you nod quickly, "i think they were going to—yes they were"
he lowers the weapon slightly, "can you stand?" he says reaching a hand out towards you.
"i don't—" you try, fail, your legs shaking too hard.
he exhales quietly, like he expected that. then he holsters the weapon and crouches down to your eye level. you tense immediately.
"don't—don't touch me—"
"i'm not asking," he replies
before you can react he effortlessly lifts you up. you freeze in his arms. he doesn't look at you like you’re fragile — just displaced. as if you're something that fell out of the world and landed where it shouldn't be.
your voice comes out small, "who are you?"
he pauses for half a second, "xavier."
the name lands strangely in your chest. a sense of familiarity floods your senses as a calm feeling surrounds you.
you swallow, "i don't know where i am."
"i noticed" he slightly chuckled
you let out a shaky breath, "i think i was just…in the middle of playing a game."
theres a faint narrowing in his eyes. like he wants to understand what you are saying yet can't fully bring himself too.
"a game," he repeats
"yeah...that sounds insane, i know. but there was a headset and then—"
you gesture vaguely toward your head, "it shut off and i was here."
xavier doesn't respond immediately. his gaze drifts past you toward the alley, the corpse of the fissionform, then back to you.
"you're not from here," he says. it’s not a question.
you aren't sure how to respond to that so you choose not to say anything. you don't know where you came from or even where you are. that isn't all that uncommon though - you've always felt like an outsider.
xavier senses your hesitation to answer, "its okay…neither am i."
that makes you look at him properly for the first time. his expression doesn’t change, but something in it feels heavier than it should. like he understands something he shouldn’t be able to explain.
he adjusts his hold slightly, "you're coming with me."
your stomach drops, "wait what? no, i don't even know you—"
"you won't survive alone here," he says simply
"that's not—this isn't—this is not normal—" you stutter out. you don't even know why you are arguing, it's not like you want to stay out here.
a faint exhale leaves him — almost like restraint, "nothing here is." he says as he starts walking towards the city.
✧────────────────────────────✧
the building is too clean, that's your first thought when you walk into the building. sterile lighting hums faintly above you. everything is structured, categorized, designed.
hushed whispers of unfamiliar people in uniforms surround you.
'who does xavier have with him?'
'where is mc shouldn't she be on a mission with him?'
the door slides open before you can fully orient yourself. a chair and table sit in the middle of the room. exhaustion begins to overtake you as you sit down.
"where am i?" you ask hesitantly
"the deepspace hunter association," he replies simply like you are supposed to automatically understand what that means.
he stands by the door and observes you like he’s waiting for something to happen.
"are you like a cop or something?" you question
he pauses sighing to himself, "i'm a hunter."
that means nothing to you.
"okay," you say slowly. "that still doesn't explain why i got attacked by…that mechanical looking dog"
your description elicits a chuckle out of him, "they're called wanderers, and the one that attacked you was an elite class."
your jaw drops at the strange word. yeah you definitely shouldn't be alive right now.
before he can say anymore the door behind him opens again. a woman steps in. she has a strong presence. eyes that immediately lock onto you like a diagnostic scan.
she doesn't ask who you are. she already decided you're a problem.
"this is her?" she asks
xavier glances at her. you notice how he relaxes the moment she steps in the room, "yes."
you sit up straighter, "i'm right here, you know."
her gaze doesn't move, eyes still fixated on you, "i know."
that makes you uneasy in a way you can't immediately explain. she doesn't offer a greeting. you don't either. there's a long silence where it feels like both of them are reading something invisible about you.
finally she speaks, "you were found in a restricted zone with no registration, no origin trace, and no identifiable energy signature."
you blink not quite following what shes accusing you of, "i was literally just playing a game."
her expression doesn't change, "is that supposed to mean something to me?"
you stare at her harshly, growing frustrated by the lack of answers.
"the only physical object recovered with you was this." she holds something up — your headset.
your stomach drops instantly, "that's mine."
"unregistered technology" she says.
you lean forward, "it's just a vr headset—"
then mc turns slightly toward xavier like she's not even listening to a word you have to say, "this is exactly why she needs to be contained."
your eyes widen as panic starts to set in, "contained?"
xavier finally speaks, "she's not hostile."
"that does'’t mean she’s safe." her voice is sharp
their exchange isn't loud — it doesn't need to be. it feels like a decision already halfway made. you look between them.
"can someone explain what's happening in normal words?"
mc finally looks at you directly. your skin crawls under her intense gaze. xavier steps in slightly—not between you, but closer to the line of tension.
"you are being processed," he says.
"processed like what some kind of criminal?" you snap
mc sighs exasperated, "like an anomaly."
that word lands wrong in your chest. xavier doesn't correct her — that's worse.
"i'll run full scans. if she triggers another spatial deviation, she goes to containment."
"another?" you repeat confusion washing over you
no one answers you. she leaves, the door slams shut behind her, and suddenly it's just you and him again.
you swallow, "okay…so she hates me."
"she doesn't trust what she can't classify." he says calmly
"and you?" that slips out before you can stop it.
something shifts in his expression, "i don't classify everything," he says lifting an eyebrow at you.
that somehow doesn't reassure you. "am i going to die here?" you ask voice small
"no." his voice carries a weight to it, like he won't let anything happen to you.
"…you said that too easily."
he looks at you for a moment longer than before and almost takes a step towards you before hesitating.
"if i thought you were a threat, you wouldn't be here."
that should make you feel safe. it doesn't fully. because something about the way he says it feels like he's still deciding what you are.
then he adds, "do you have a place to go?"
realization hits you then, you are stuck in an unfamiliar place with nowhere to call your own. you shake your head.
a pause then he nods slightly, like he's already made a decision that doesn't require approval.
"you'll stay in the association's housing for now."
you exhale shakily, "so like a prisoner?"
"you're under observation." he says
"that sounds like a different way to say prisoner."
he doesn't deny it but he doesn't leave either. you notice it then. the way he looks at you isn't completely suspicious. it's something closer to recognition that doesn't have a source. like he's seen a pattern before but can't remember where.
✧────────────────────────────✧
you learn quickly that the city never really sleeps. you tell yourself you're adjusting. the hunter's association gives you temporary clearance — not freedom, not quite confinement either. a monitored existence.
you get a job at a hotpot place. you don't even remember applying. you just remember needing money, needing structure, needing something that wasn't an unfamiliar place and unanswered questions.
the manager barely looks at your paperwork.
"good enough," he mutters. "don't break anything."
you almost laugh. that feels like the most honest interaction you've heard since arriving.
the first time he comes in, you don't notice immediately. he sits in the corner booth like he's been there before. like he chose it without thinking. mc is with him. you notice her first— always her first. she scans the room like she's already cataloging threats.
then your gaze lands on him. he's not looking at you but nervousness sinks its way into your chest anyway. you look away quickly.
"table six wants refill," your coworker says
you nod automatically, wipe the sweat off your palms, grabbing the pot.
when you reach their table, mc is the first to speak. her eyes narrow slightly, "you work here now?"
you don't look at her, afraid she will see right through you, "yes?"
xavier looks up then, just briefly. and something in his expression pauses. it's not suprise, more like an interruption. like a thought he was halfway through thinking, suddenly stopped working.
you force yourself to focus on pouring broth.
"i thought you hunters would be too busy to eat out," you say lightly.
mc rolls her eyes, and xavier glares at her like a warning to play nice.
"we make the time." he answered simply a small smile curling at the corners of his mouth. but his eyes stay on you a fraction too long after the words leave his mouth.
you feel it again — that same wrong familiarity.
✧────────────────────────────✧
after that, it starts happening too often to ignore. you're at the convenience store buying instant noodles at 2 a.m and he's already there, standing in front of the refrigerated drinks.
you almost drop your basket. he glances at you, "late shift?" he asks.
you nod slowly, "yeah"
he takes a second to notice your fragile state. slunched down, dark circles under your eyes, "you should sleep more" he says a hint of concern laced in his tone.
you laugh once, confused. "is that official hunter advice?"
he shruggs, "it's just an observation."
that shouldn't feel personal but it does.
the arcade is worse. because you go there when you can't sleep. the neon lights and loud machines are all variables that drown out your constant thinking.
the claw machine sits near the back wall. there's one plushie tucked halfway under another — small, soft, ridiculously out of place in a room full of flashing lights and noise. you've been trying for ten minutes.
"okay," you mutter to yourself. "just…shift slightly to the left—"
you press the button and the claw drops. you lean forward instinctively as if your body can influence physics. it grabs it — holds it by the ear. you freeze.
"oh my god okay"
it lifts slowly and carefully. you're already imagining it, something soft to hold when your brain won't shut off.
the claw reaches the chute. for a second—it's perfect. then it slips and your shoulders deflate immediately. you stare at it in silence for a full second.
"dammit i hate this thing," you mutter
"need a hand?" you hear a tired voice
you jolt so hard you almost hit the glass, "what the—!"
you spin around and xavier is just…there. like he spawned in. no footsteps you noticed. no warning, just suddenly occupying space behind you like the world forgot to load him in properly.
you clutch your chest as his eyes flick to you, calm as ever.
"you looked frustrated."
you shout, "that does not mean appear behind me like a horror game jump scare!"
a pause then a laugh. a sweet sound that fills the dreary air, "sorry."
that catches you off guard more than the claw machine failing and for some reason all you can do is blink at him.
he glances at the machine, "you want it?"
you narrow your eyes, "don't you dare cheat."
he ignores that as the claw resets. he pushes the button dropping the claw and suddenly a soft glow of light surrounds the small pink bunny plush.
you have never seen anything like that before. before you can question him though, the bunny lifts into the air and drops into the chute.
you squint at him, "yeah okay i don't know what your little magic trick was but it was definitely cheating."
he puts a hand on the back of his neck and actually huffs something like amusement.
you grab it immediately like it might escape out of spite, "i'm reporting you," you say, hugging it.
you wander after that, just drifting through aisles of machines, noise fading into background static.
at some point you end up at a card table game — kitty cards. the designs of the little cats fills you up with warmth. even though you have never played this before for some reason you already know the objective and rules of the game.
you sit down across from him, "do you ever do anything normal?" you ask.
he looks at the cards, and tilts his head "this is normal."
you lose the first round immediately.
"okay," you say slowly, "you're definitely cheating."
"i'm not. i've just had a lot of practice" he says
"yeah well you're weirdly good at cards for someone who looks like he sleeps three hours a week."
"i don't sleep three hours."
"worse?" you ask
"…sometimes less." he says staring at the deck in his hands.
the humor drops a little without meaning to.
"oh," then you lean back slightly, "same."
you glance out the window. you weren't sure what time it was now or how long you had been there but the faint rise of the sun was enough to tell you it had been long enough since you first arrived.
you glance at the man across from you, "do you ever feel like your brain just refuses to turn off?"
he hesitates, "it doesn't refuse."
"it just doesn't have an off switch?" you ask
"something like that." you nod slowly. an understanding settling between the two of you for the first time.
✧────────────────────────────✧
you close up late. the hotpot place smells like broth and exhaustion when you finally step outside, hands still faintly warm from cleaning up. the city feels quieter after closing time, like it exhales once all the noise is gone. you don't go home immediately. it feels empty and cold.
instead you walk, you're not even sure when the park becomes a habit. you just notice you keep ending up there.
the forget-me-nots are still there. blue, scattered low to the ground like they're trying not to be seen. you sit down carefully among them. you feel at peace with them, like they understand you in some way.
for a while, you just think. your thoughts are constantly muddled. xavier's voice, the way he shows up too often, the way he looks at you like you're both familiar and wrong at the same time. the way things in this world don't behave like coincidences. you pull your knees up slightly.
"this is stupid," you mutter to yourself.
theres a step in the grass behind you. you don't jump this time. you recognize the footsteps
"i feel like you're getting worse at the whole 'not showing up unannounced' thing" you say.
xavier stops a short distance away, "i didn't mean to interrupt."
"that's the thing you never mean to," you reply. "it just…happens anyway."
then he sits down beside you. not too close yet not distant either. just enough that it feels intentional without being declared. the wind moves through the flowers. you stare at them for a while.
"do you know what these mean?" he quietly says following your gaze, "forget-me-nots."
you glance at him. "i feel like i should know, but i don't. it's like right there, but i can't grab it."
a faint shift in his expression, "that's somewhat fitting," he says looking back at the flowers.
"where i come from," he says after a moment, "they're used as a reminder. not just of memory—but of presence. of someone still existing even when they aren't seen."
you look at him a little more carefully now, "that sounds…sad."
"it was meant to be comforting" he admits quietly
a shared and comfortable silence settles between you again. you pick at the grass lightly. "so where are you actually from?" you ask
he doesn't hesitate this time, "philos"
the name is beautiful and regal. you repeat it under your breath, "philos…"
"it was…structured," he says. "more controlled. there was an unsettling oppression about things."
that makes you pause. in a way you feel like you were from a similar place.
he continues, slower now, "there was someone i knew there."
you glance at him slowly reaching a hand out just barely touching his fingertips through the grass. silently urging him to keep talking.
"i don't remember everything clearly," he admits "but i remember her."
you watch him for a second longer than you mean to. how his eyes shift to a darker blue with a hint of longing.
"you were in love," you say quietly. it slips out before you can fully think about it.
and the moment you say it, the air shifts. he doesn't correct you. doesn't deny it either. just continues looking at the flowers.
"i was...i protected her" he says voice barely above a whisper.
you swallow slightly. a hint of jealousy sinking in your stomach and for some reason—your thoughts snag on something you don't fully understand yet.
xavier, mc, philos, a route, a fight, betrayal of duty, a death. all of it flashes through your mind. a story you've half-lived but never actually experienced.
you shake your head trying to snap yourself out of the temporary disassociation, "that's weird" you mutter.
he glances at you somewhat concerned, "what is?"
"nothing," you say too quickly. then softer more so to yourself, "just feels like i've heard that before."
he watches you for a moment, then lets it go — not pushing.
your mind going back to mc and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. that strange girl always by his side. his partner in crime. you hesitate before asking, "what about her? your coworker? the girl that hates me?"
that gets a longer pause. before you got here he spent every moment he had thinking about her. constantly being pulled in her direction.
"she has stayed with me longer than most people have," he says finally
you tilt your head slightly, "that's a strange way to define your relationship."
"it's...complicated," he says, defeated
you nod slowly, "complicated how?" you weren't sure if you should push the topic further, but your gut had to know.
that question lingers longer. when he answers, it’s quieter, "things are different now."
you look at him, "different how?"
he doesn't answer immediately, then, "she isn't the same person i remember."
a feeling of uncertaintly fills you up in a way you don't fully understand yet. you look back at the flowers. forget-me-nots. like the world is trying to remember something it keeps misplacing.
✧────────────────────────────✧
'wanderers don't usually cluster like this.'
mc is sitting on her bike on a street corner, going through data logs, jaw tight, eyes narrowed at the pattern building itself too neatly across the city grid.
too many incidents all close together. too centered around the same drifting variable — you.
the abandoned building is already half-destroyed when mc arrives. xavier is there first — he's always there first now like he anticipates the flunctuations before they occur.
steel and fractured light cut through the air as another wanderer collapses into static. the aftermath hums with that dread that follows things that shouldn’t exist in the first place.
mc lands beside him, weapon still raised.
"you're late," xavier says without looking at her.
"i was tracking the source point," she replies coldly
another ripple in the distance. both of them feel it at the same time. xavier exhales once, "she's nearby again."
mc's grip tightens, "that's what i mean."
the next wanderer doesn't come from the doorway. it appears out of thin air. xavier moves first like he knew exactly where to hit it.
mc notices immediately, "…xavier."
he doesn't answer. he takes down the wanderer but his focus is already elsewhere.
another forms behind them and she clicks her tongue. "this keeps happening every time she—"
"she's not causing this directly," xavier cuts in, his tone harsher than he intended.
mc looks at him sharply, "you're still defending her?"
another wanderer breaks formation. instead of answering her xavier moves again, this time hes slightly off timing. like hes moving against his natural instincts.
then another ripple in space. their hunter watches alarming them that wanderers have made their way to a new location. this one closer to where you usually are. xavier turns slightly. mc sees it immediately.
"you're not even focused on this threat zone anymore."
"i am." he says readjusting the grip on his sword.
"no," she says. "you're tracking her."
he stares blankly at her. another wanderer drops in the distance far enough away from them. xavier doesn't move right away this time then, finally he stands down, "we'll contain this area later."
mc stares at him, "that's not protocol."
"it's necessary." he states making his way to the exit brushing past mc's shoulder
"for her?" she scoffs
he doesn't answer, and that's worse than yes.
✧────────────────────────────✧
mc shouldn't be here but she's already past the point of pretending she's following procedure cleanly.
the apartment is quiet. she knows your schedule, you're at work you won't be back for at least another hour. a part of her feels wrong invading your privacy like this, but she unlocks the door anyway. inside, everything is ordinary. to her it seems too normal for an anomaly.
then she sees it — the notebook. half-hidden in a drawer. it's not locked, not protected. like it was waiting to be found.
mc hesitates for half a second, then opens it. it's not clean data. not structured logs. it's personal. it's you.
thoughts about your day, restless confusion, dreams you try to decode. and a familiar name appearing too often.
her eyes narrow slightly as she reads.
"you've been documenting him," she mutters.
then she finds a page that makes her stop.
not because of what it says. but because of the timing. it's dated from a night she remembers. the night you arrived here.
'i had a strange dream tonight. it felt like i was somewhere far away. somewhere that felt like home. that man that saved me...xavier i think was there but it was different. he was in my screen. we were fighting something that looked like those wanderer things that attacked me tonight. only this time we won the battle together.'
her eyes scan over another dream entry, this one more recent.
'i woke up in an apartment similar to the one i am currently in but its girlier, it's more lived in. i had friends over but their faces were blurred. i was talking to xavier but it wasn't my voice. xavier got shy around me? her? i'm not sure but i think he likes her.'
then another entry, this one was dated yesterday
'none of this makes sense. i think i miss him but why when i see him everywhere. then i dream and i have another strange vision. i take the headset off, the one i had with me earlier and i look out at the world beyond my window. a desolate wasteland, screens and machinery everywhere, smog in the air. nothing like the place i currently live in. i get the sense, this yearning that this version of me longs for a place where he exists. and that sometimes maybe he could hear me across the screen.'
mc closes the notebook slowly, carefully. like it’s no longer just evidence — but contamination. it's memory bleeding into existence and xavier is apart of it.
she hears murming outside and looks out through the window
you're walking back with xavier. it's so late what is he doing with her? she stays still, hidden, watching. you're talking about something she can't hear.
and then you stop at the entrance. you turn to him, then you wrap your frame around his — into an embrace. it's quick but normal, "goodnight" you say.
xavier doesn't move immediately. just stands there trying to take in the moment. then—he smiles. it's small, barely a tug at his lips but real.
you go inside first the door closing behind you. and xavier remains for a second longer outside the building. looking at the space you just disappeared into, like he's waiting for something to echo back.
mc steps away from the window immediately. breathing slightly sharper than before, "this is getting worse" she whispers.
then she leaves, not running but not walking normally either. something between urgency and disbelief tightening in her chest. because anomalies don’t hug hunters. and hunters don’t hesitate in the field. and xavier just did both.
✧────────────────────────────✧
that night, before sleep finally takes him, xavier lies awake staring at the ceiling of his apartment. the city outside is quieter than usual. his thoughts keep circling back to you.
to the way you looked standing outside your apartment building earlier that evening, tired but smiling anyway.
and then—the hug.
you had stepped forward suddenly, almost like you surprised yourself doing it. your arms around him for only a few seconds.
warm. real. trusting him without hesitation.
he remembers the slight pause afterward. the way you pulled back just enough to look at him.
"goodnight"
and he remembers wanting—very briefly, very dangerously to pull you back against him. to keep you there a second longer. long enough to stop pretending he didn't feel this shift happening between you.
instead he had just stood there watching you disappear into the apartment building. now, alone in the dark, he finds himself irritated by his own restraint.
not because he lacked opportunity. because for once, he lacked courage. his eyes close briefly. and the memories from earlier replay immediately.
the comic café. warm lights. shelves lined wall to wall with manga, comics, old sci-fi novels. a place he had passed dozens of times before. a place mc once mentioned wanting to visit together. but when he imagined going there with her, it had always felt strangely empty.
until tonight. you wandered through the aisles slowly, fingertips brushing across book spines while soft music played overhead.
he remembers catching you peeking at him over the top of a manga volume, immediately pretending to read when he noticed.
and for some reason that small moment stays with him more vividly than entire battles he’s fought.
the hot chocolate had gone cold because neither of you paid attention to it enough. you kept sharing desserts back and forth across the table without asking first. comfortable already. too comfortable.
then the frosting. a small streak near the corner of your mouth after stealing a bite from his plate. you didn't notice it. but he did.
and before he could stop himself, his thoughts had wandered somewhere they shouldn't. to what it would feel like to lean forward. to kiss you. to close the distance that had been quietly shrinking between you for weeks now.
instead, he'd looked away. taken another sip of his drink like his pulse hadn't suddenly become unreliable.
now the memory frustrates him. because he isn't normally uncertain. and yet around you, he keeps hesitating at moments he secretly wishes he hadn't.
the room is silent again. but his mind keeps moving. because the strangest part is this, when he's with you, everything becomes quieter. not the city. himself.
no wanderer alerts. no instability spikes. no constant pressure beneath his skin reminding him that something inside him has been deteriorating for years.
which directly contradicts everything mc has been insisting on their missions. every report. every warning. every accusation that your existence is what’s destabilizing linkon.
xavier stares at the ceiling a little longer— thinking about mc now. about how different things feel between them lately.
it was sudden and dramatic in a way he can no longer ignore. he was supposed to love her. support her. believe in her. after everything they had survived together, that should have remained simple. shouldn't it?
but lately every conversation feels like obligation wearing the shape of familiarity. like both of them are trying to preserve something they already feel slipping.
and then you arrived. messy. unexplainable. impossible. and somehow more honest than anything he'd felt in a very long time.
his chest tightens slightly because that realization comes with guilt attached to it. mc does not deserve uncertainty from him. especially not after being the reason he stayed in this world as long as he has.
but no matter how many times he tries to force himself back toward that version of his life—his thoughts keep returning to you instead. your laugh. your sarcasm. the way you looked at him like he was a person before he was a hunter. before he was useful. before he was necessary.
and maybe the worst part is—he thinks he was already drifting away long before you arrived. you just made him realize it.
✧────────────────────────────✧
you wake up in a cold white room. your wrists restrained and body feeling claustrophobic. as your eyes adjust you realize you are being held in a glass tube. like some kind of specimen jar.
the last thing you recall before being abducted, was finally being able to fall asleep. then as you stirred you felt a hand on your wrist. your eyes shot open and you saw figures in the dark. not wanderers. humans. they were masked but you could see the faint shine of the hunter association emblem on their uniforms. then before you could scream or fight back, a prick of a needle in your arm. then nothing.
"okay," you whisper, but it doesn’t sound like humor anymore, "this is officially getting old."
no answer. just the faint hum of something behind the walls—like the building is thinking and choosing not to speak.
then the air changes, just like pressure shifting behind your eyes.
and mc speaks over the intercom in the room, "begin memory retrieval."
it doesn't happen all at once. it unravels.
at first, it's just noise. a flicker behind your thoughts. like remembering a dream you never fully woke up from.
and then the visual sharpens. another world. or what barely passed for one. a desolate reality wrapped in broken infrastructure and hollow skies. too empty to feel alive, too structured to feel natural. cities built like leftover bones of something that used to matter.
people didn't live there — they escaped.
then it zoomed in to you. a screen, a glow in a dark room. your body present in a chair with your headset on while your mind clung somewhere to a place brighter than where you actually lived. a reality where you chose xavier time and again.
he lived in a place that was rebuilt after tragedy struck. a beautiful fictional place that at least gave you something that felt like direction and purpose.
your breath stutters, "no…" you whisper, but it's not refusal anymore. it’s recognition trying to defend itself.
mc's voice cuts in somewhere beyond the fracture, "do not fight it, fighting only makes it worse"
but you're not listening to her because it's coming back too clearly now and it's mixing with the space in which you currently have lived in for what feels like years yet has only been a few months.
the hotpot restaurant, arcade noises, plushies and meow badges, forget-me-nots, wanderers, philos...all of it — not just happening, but carried over. like someone dragged your entire escape route into a space that was never meant to contain your presence.
and him — xavier. someone you knew before you ever met face to face. he was a character you learned to love. a voice of reason you followed when everything else in your life was collapsing around you. someone who made the broken home you lived in feel survivable.
your throat tightens, "i was right...i was playing something before i arrived here."
you continue, despite your voice not agreeing with the words you were saying, "this world isn't real."
the realization hit you like a ton of bricks. it was never just a game to you. after everything outside became too loud, too empty, too impossible to stay in you went somewhere else. somewhere structured. somewhere where you could be a better version of yourself. somewhere you could pretend that connection meant something more than code and scripted response.
and now—it's bleeding into here. into this place that insists it exists.
mc speaks again, quieter this time, "you are an outsider insisting that the world i live in isn't real. that makes you a threat."
you laugh once, not because it’s funny. because something about her reaction is too small compared to the explosion of pent up memories and emotions happening inside your head.
"…no," you whisper. "you are the threat."
a pause then you suddenly find courage deep within you, "do you know that before i got here that aether core in your heart is what threatened this world."
mc stills slightly not quite understanding. how did you know about her protocore syndrome. did xavier tell you? no he wouldn't.
"yeah i know all about your resonance evol...you have attracted wanderers and caused structural instability yourself. sound familiar?"
mc is left dumbfounded by this reveal. it's like you know her — her past. but how could you unless...you weren't lying. she really is a character.
you continue, voice getting stronger as you resist against your restraints.
"do you get it now?! you threatened my entire sense of identity in a place i finally felt like i didn't have to pretend. and yet in the world i come from i had to play as you. we were one in the same."
those words stick with her — and its enough to change everything.
your voice shudders "i think i was trying to survive my own world by leaving it."
you were a girl in a dead world. falling in love with someone you were never supposed to cross paths with — and still did.
"and now even this world is rejecting me too" you finally break. you stop fighting as you try to compose yourself.
mc looks at you for the first time as a human. like maybe you could belong here. and that’s when the system response changes. something noticing instability in the pattern.
✧────────────────────────────✧
xavier wakes abruptly. not the slow pull of restless sleep. its immediate. violent. like something dragged him out of unconsciousness by the throat. for a second he can't separate dream from memory. his chest rises sharply, evol flickering instinctively beneath his skin in uneven pulses of pale light.
and then he hears it again. not aloud. in his head. your voice. not clear words at first—just fear. panic sharp enough to leave an ache behind it.
then, "stop—mc, please—"
xavier sits upright immediately. the room is dark. silent. empty. but the feeling doesn’t leave. it clings to him like residual static.
he presses a hand against his chest, breathing slower, trying to steady the uneven glow still breaking beneath his skin. a dream. it had to be.
and yet—something feels wrong. by morning he's already moving through linkon. or trying to.
light fractures around him as he steps off the apartment balcony. for half a second his body dissolves into pale particles, evol energy carrying him across the city in sharp bursts of light.
usually the transitions are clean and controlled but now they stutter.
the landing outside the hotpot place hits harder than intended, light cracking outward beneath his feet before disappearing again.
a couple nearby glance over uneasily. xavier barely notices. he pushes through the doors immediately, scanning the room. you're not there. one of the workers recognizes him.
"oh—you mean the new girl?" they ask casually. "she hasn't shown up in days."
days. light curls violently around his wrist again. another jump. the arcade. neon flashes across his face as he materializes near the entrance, evol flickering unevenly around him before fading.
the claw machine sits exactly where it always does. a plushie still wedged awkwardly near the corner chute. and suddenly he remembers your voice too clearly.
"don't you dare cheat."
the memory should make him feel more at ease, but instead it twists sharply in his chest. because you're missing.
his evol pulses harder this time. a visible crack of light splintering through the air beside him before stabilizing. people nearby stare. one child points. xavier disappears again before anyone can ask questions.
the park is worse. he arrives in a burst of pale light beneath the trees, momentum carrying him forward a step as the teleport destabilizes mid-landing. the forget-me-nots are still there. but without you, the entire place feels wrong.
he stands there too long, staring at the flowers. remembering your voice, "i feel like i should know what they mean."
now he is finally starting to understand the connection between your lack of memories and the unexplainable essence of your presence. but he doesn't care. he has to find you. protect you.
the light around his body flickers harder now. not enough to lose control—but enough that he feels it internally. and suddenly panic completely sets in. he starts hyperventilating. and suddenly the dream from earlier no longer feels like a dream at all.
the jump to jeremiah's flower shop nearly fails. when he materializes inside the alley beside the shop, the glow doesn't fully disappear from his body this time. thin fractures of philos light still move beneath his skin.
jeremiah notices immediately. the teasing expression he usually wears disappears almost at once.
"…xavier."
xavier doesn't waste time, "have you ever seen this happen before?"
jeremiah’s eyes flick down to the fractured light still breaking unevenly around xavier’s hands. then back up to his face.
"what did you do?"
xavier doesn't answer immediately. because the truth is he doesn't fully know yet. only that you are gone and something inside him is reacting like absence itself is becoming physical.
jeremiah studies him for another moment before speaking quietly.
"once...when you abandoned the throne."
the words settle heavily between them. xaviers past coming back to him in mini flashes.
"you remember what your evol looked like after that?"
xavier stared hard at him as the memories he has tried so hard to suppress continue to emerge.
"you went against the natural order of what you were supposed to become."
his gaze sharpens slightly, "you chose attachment over responsibility."
xavier looks away briefly, "when i became a time traveler," he says quietly.
jeremiah nods once, "you destabilized yourself trying to hold onto something that no longer aligned with the life you were meant to live —and you're doing it again.”
the flower shop suddenly feels too warm. too small.
xavier's evol continues to shift in and out of focus as he attempts to keep his emotions under control. but its no use. jeremiah's expression shifts slightly, too because now he understands something else too.
"this isn't just about a girl, is it?"
xavier exhales slowly. and for the first time since waking up, he says it aloud.
"not the one you are thinking of...and she's in trouble"
jeremiah watches realization settle across xavier’s face in real time.
the fear of losing you and the understanding of who could be responsible for it.
he quickly rushes out the door preparing himself to teleport one final time. hoping his evol can be maintained for just a little longer.
jeremiah speaks quickly behind him, "xavier—if you go against the association like this—"
xavier stops at the doorway for only a second. the light around him glowing again, bright enough now that it illuminates the entire shop window.
"i already know," he says quietly. then the light consumes him, and he's gone.
✧────────────────────────────✧
the association corridor feels too long when mc sees him. like it stretches just to give her more time to think about how she’s going to say this.
xavier is already walking in. she meets him halfway, "you shouldn't be here"
xavier looks at her like he already knows she's not stopping him.
"i know," he says as he shoves his way past her making his way to the interrigation room.
her heart beat stalls as her jaw drops. unable to process what is happening. he didn't hesitate. not even a little.
she turns on her heel chasing after him, "this is containment protocol," she says but it sounds wrong in her own mouth.
"i am familiar with the protocols" he says annoyed as he makes his way to the window. he sees your tired form in the glass chamber. your arms hooked up to machines and monitors.
"what have you been doing to her?" he says angrily
no answer she gave him could undo what has been done so she simply says, "you're not assigned to this case anymore."
"i didn't accept that reassignment." he says bluntly, fist slamming against the glass.
her fingers curl slightly before continuing, "that's not how this works, xavier."
she hesitates, these words will hurt her but she has to accept it, "you got too involved in this case. too close to her"
that word—her—hits heavier than she expects. because even saying it acknowledges something personal she's trying not to name.
she looks at him — really looks at him and sees a man she no longer recognizes. and yet there is a part of her that still wants to reach for him instead of stopping him.
"please don't do this," she pleads
he doesn't answer right away and that silence feels like loss already.
"she's destabilizing the system," she continues, faster now, like she can outrun what this is turning into.
"you've seen the wanderer spikes. the anomaly clustering. every time she's near something breaks."
her voice tightens, "she's not stable xavier. she has to be...removed."
that word hits differently this time. not just for him. for her too. she thinks back to what you said — she was dangerous. and now she can't help but wonder if this was her fate someday too.
"removed," he repeats, voice shaking
mc swallows and before she can stop herself she says, "i found her diary."
he turns around to face her for the first time since he arrived. she looks into his soft blue eyes and hesitates. this unraveling of truth hurts more than she expected.
"she writes things down like she's remembering two lives at once," she says quietly.
"she talks about you like you're… not just someone she met here."
he looks at her, hanging onto every word.
"she wrote about a world where she was playing something. a game. and you were in it."
another pause, "we were in it"
she looks at him confusion and fear written all over her face, "i don't understand it fully. i don't think she does either."
he doesn't interrupt, so she keeps going.
"she thinks she fell into this place from another reality."
her voice shakes slightly now, and she hates that he can probably hear it. her strength fading away.
"and the worst part is…i think i believe her now."
she continues, "but it doesn't matter what i believe. the truth of the matter is her existence is breaking our world."
mc steps closer to him trying to bridge this distance between them in more ways than one.
"and we are hunters, we swore an oath to protect linkon at all cost"
that's when xavier finally changes. his face morphs into an expression she has never seen from him. like something in him locks into place that had been loose for a long time.
"things have changed." his hands begin shaking as the light evol he possesses flickers unevenly.
mc notices instantly, "…your evol," she says concerned.
she reaches for his hands to steady them, to try to resonate with him, hoping to stabilize the energy in some way but he pulls away from her.
"when did this start?"
he doesn't hesitate, "the night she arrived."
mc's voice lowers slightly as her eyes burn into his own, "and yet you are still choosing her!"
her tone a melting pot of anger and disbelief wrapped in something that almost sounds like grief.
xavier looks at his hand as the light stutters again, "i was never supposed to belong here," he says quietly.
"philos died a long time ago. i should have too."
mc stiffens slightly at that but he continues. he has never spoken much about his past. and she has never pressed but now she's wondering if maybe she should have tried to connect with him in that way.
xavier looks at his hand then into her eyes, "i stayed here because of you," he says quietly.
mc hangs on the finality of the word 'stayed'.
the evol flickers harder now. reacting but not to him — to her. to her ever changing emotions. to the truth he is finally setting free.
"but i didn't understand what 'staying' would cost," he says.
a pause, a break, as he looks out the window, "until her."
mc's breath catches slightly as her blood runs cold. because she understands what comes next before he says it.
"when i'm with her," he continues, quieter now, "i don't feel like i'm holding myself together out of obligation."
the light fractures again. cracks of illumination breaking apart at his fingertips like glass.
"i feel…" he hesitates then lets out a breath of relief, "free."
the evol dims slightly—but does not stabilize.
"i've been using what’s left of my energy to stay coherent," he says.
"to be what you needed me to be"
that revelation hits her harder than anything about you. because it reframes everything she thought she knew. this wasn't rejection of her but exhaustion of that role — the one he played for her in every lifetime.
"but i don't think i can stay that version of myself anymore," he says.
"and i don't think i was ever stable to begin with."
the evol stutters again. more violently now.
her voice begins to break, saying his name like its something she's about to lose. "xavier"
he looks at her properly now. and this is where it becomes clear. he is not choosing between her and you. he is choosing between being what he was for her and being what he becomes with you.
"i'm not abandoning this world," he says quietly
"i'm just not letting it define me anymore...i have done that for too long"
mc's resolve shatters, "if you do this, you're going to cross a line you can't come back from...you know that, right?"
xavier steps forward towards the containment door. and mc realizes too late she's no longer convincing him. she's just witnessing him decide.
she speaks one last time, her voice cracking as the reality she knows and loves is crumbling to pieces. "you two deserve each other"
xavier walks into the room. mc remains completely still because something worse than losing control has just happened. she understands both of them now. and that makes it hurt more.
✧────────────────────────────✧
the chamber doesn't feel like containment anymore. it feels like your final resting place.
you're there. barely upright. fading at the edges in a way that makes it feel like reality is losing patience with how much of you it can hold.
and when xavier walks in—everything stills.
you look up, a slight smile forcing its way through your chapped lips
"you came." your voice is quiet. fragile at the edges. relieved in a way you didn’t let yourself hope for.
"i did," he says like it was never in question.
he rushes to you — carefully removing the wires from your delicate skin.
you slump into his arms as silence falls in between you. it's full of everything neither of you said sooner.
"i've been trying to understand something," he says quietly.
you swallow slightly, "what?"
he exhales once like he’s done running from it.
"why i feel like i can't stay stable when you're not near."
"that's not—that shouldn't be—"
"possible...yeah i know," he interrupts, softer now.
"i tried to explain it away. even with all the system fluctuations. instability reports. it kept happening anyway."
his face is close enough now that the air between you feels temporary.
"you weren't supposed to matter like this," he says gently caressing your arms.
"but you do."
your breath hitches in your throat. that doesn't sound like something that can be undone.
"xavier," you whisper.
he looks at you like hearing his name from you has new meaning.
"i think i've been unstable for a long time," he says.
and that's when you notice it. the soft glow. philos energy. around him now, like a halo. but not because of you. because of the system reacting to him choosing a new path.
"i just didn't understand it...until you"
silence, thick enough that it feels like the room is holding its breath too.
"i don't know what i am to you. i don't know what i am to this world." you admit
your voice shakes slightly, "but i know i don't feel real when you're not there."
"then we're the same," he says softly moving a hand softly to your cheek brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
"because i don't feel real when you're gone either."
something in the room shifts. like reality itself is starting to notice the weight of what’s being said. he steps into the chamber with you —now there’s nothing left between you.
"what does that mean?" you whisper
he doesn't answer immediately. because this is no longer something he's trying to explain. it's something he's choosing.
"it means i don't want a version of this world where you don't exist in it," he says.
"and i don't care what that makes me...a traitor, an anomoly like you — it doesn't matter"
for a moment, neither of you moves. then he reaches for you. his other hand comes up gently cupping the other side of your face. you don't move away, melting into his warm touch.
"is this real?" you whisper
his eyes don't leave yours, "i don't know what else would be."
and then his lips brush yours lightly. his hands stay on your face, steadying you as he leans in fully, closing the last space between you.
you gasp against his mouth for a second—then you return it, instinctively, like something in you has been waiting for this exact moment without knowing.
the kiss deepens slightly, it wasn't rushed. it was like something choosing to exist even while everything else is about to stop allowing it.
for that moment—there is no system.
the air inside the chamber begins to pull inward. the world itself inhaling around you both. light swirls violently now, xavier's evol rapidly twinkling. the soft glow turning unstable, breaking at the edges as the system starts rejecting what he has chosen.
through the chamber glass—brief movement. mc stands behind the one way window, tears already in her eyes, hand still on the override. she sees everything. the evol destabilizing. the collapse beginning.
the kiss doesn't break immediately. neither of you wanting to let go at first. it felt like letting go would mean agreeing with what's about to happen.
xavier turns his head slightly toward the wall and you follow his gaze. thought you can't see her, for a moment—three points align. and there is no accusation, no blame, no hostility. just finality.
his forehead presses briefly against yours as the pressure builds around the room as your hands cling to eachother.
"don't forget this," he says quietly
"i won't," you whisper even though neither of you knows what comes next.
and then—reality collapses inward.
✧────────────────────────────✧
it doesn't feel like waking up. it feels like something cut out a piece of time and stitched reality over the gap like nothing happened.
you're in your room. same ceiling. the same quiet hum of the world pretending it's normal. but everything feels slightly misaligned, like the universe rebuilt itself one degree off and decided you wouldn't notice.
you sit up slowly. your body remembers rest, but your mind feels fuzzy and there's a strange heaviness behind your ribs.
your phone lights up beside you. another news article. another discussion thread. another wave of people still angry over the shutdown of Love and Deepspace.
the official statement from the developers had been posted weeks ago now: Due to unrecoverable corruption within the game files, servers will be permanently shut down effective immediately. Restoration is no longer possible.
no explanation beyond that. no recovery. no rerelease — it's just gone
and somehow, every time you read about it, guilt twists painfully in your stomach. like some part of you knows the collapse was your fault even if you can't understand why.
the shutdown didn't just affect one game either. afterward, several major vr companies halted development on full-immersion projects entirely. forums called it a technical precaution.
but the effect on people was stranger than that. the world had slowly started changing afterward. people went outside more. internet cafés closed earlier because no one stayed all night anymore. public parks that used to sit empty now stayed crowded well into the evening.
it was like everyone had been forced to look up at reality again after years spent trying to escape it. and somehow—the world seemed liberated. more alive. people were relearning how to exist with each other instead of in make-believe worlds.
you get dressed, brush your hair, do everything correctly. but nothing feels fully anchored. you're going through motions that used to belong to someone slightly more real than you feel now.
the smell of hotpot drifts from somewhere you don't pass on purpose. and your chest tightens for reasons you cannot explain.
your fingers pause on your phone screen when you see arcade ads flash by to come try out their new claw machine.
a park comes into view as you walk. and you stop without deciding to. forget-me-nots. they're everywhere in clusters near the path edges, soft blue against green. you stare at them longer than you mean to. like your mind is trying to translate a language you don't understand.
a strange thought flickers through you — i think i forgot something i wasn't supposed to lose.
then it passes but doesn't leave. it just settles deeper. the city feels normal again after a while. that's what makes it worse.
and one day as you are strolling aimlessly through the streets—you reach the crosswalk.
people gather around you waiting for the light. everything ordinary. everything unchanged. but something in you stops before the signal even shifts. because across the street your eyes focus in on a figure.
he is there. tears spring in your eyes for reasons you don't quite understand. why are you suddenly so emotional seeing a man you have never met before.
he is standing still. not moving with the flow of the crowd. not checking his surroundings like everyone else. the world continues around him. but none of it feels like it includes him properly.
and you stop completely mid-step, your body refuses to continue without confirmation.
his head turns slightly towards your direction like something in him just registered something it can't name yet. and then—he looks at you. there's a feeling that hasn't decided whether it’s real yet but refuses to disappear.
your breath falters not because you understand it but because your body reacts before your mind can argue.
the world doesn't confirm him. it doesn't explain him. doesn't interrupt this moment. it just… holds. like it's waiting to see what survives being noticed.
and suddenly—you remember something that doesn't come as a thought. it comes as a sensation — he is real
across the street, xavier tilts his head slightly. something in him responding to something in you.
the light finally changes and traffic stops. now everything feels like it's waiting on a single step. you hesitate because a feeling in your chest restricts you from moving. it's not fear, not doubt, but recognition of consequence. like moving closer might rewrite something neither of you is fully prepared to lose again.
and yet across the street—he takes one step forward. not crossing yet, just acknowledging the possibility.
and in that space between movement and stillness, you both exist like a fault line the world hasn't fully healed from. it's still there, still waiting, still real enough to break again.
✧────────────────────────────✧
as he gets close to you the words, "don't forget this" ring in your ear.
then you look at him and see him for the first time — xavier. you see every moment he looked at you like you were something the world hadn't accounted for. every time you thought you were imagining meaning where there shouldn't have been any.
and then he's in front of you. for a second, neither of you speaks.
then he exhales, soft and almost disbelieving "there you are"
your throat constricts immediately because it feels like something that has been waiting to be said across too many lost versions of time.
"i told you i wouldn't forget," you say tears forming in your eyes.
and your voice steadies like it's been carried here through everything that tried to erase it.
xavier's expression shifts—happiness and relief finally settling into place instead of fracturing away from him.
and when he speaks, it’s quiet but absolute, "and i'm not losing you again."
he reaches a hand out lacing his fingers with your own sealing the promise through touch. and there is no hesitation left between intention and action.
this time when you lean in, it isn't because gravity pulls you. it's because you both remember what it feels like to have a choice.
the kiss is softer than before. pouring out every memory and emotion that survived being erased once and refuses to disappear again.
when he pulls back slightly, his forehead rests against yours confirming you're still here. and for the first time—it feels like the reality that has been stacked against you didn't win.
