[mxxnlightsblog]

It's crazy how trauma makes you push people away when all you want is love.

[dumblr]

Relatable.

[vomitingwords]

"Sometimes, I hope people can always say what they truly feel. And be genuine about it. No restrictions. No holding back. No keeping all the most important parts.

But then I remembered that I myself couldn't even do that. So why would I expect other people to be like that?

I realized that sometimes we have to choose what we only have to say from the words that we truly want to say. Every word doesn't have to be said out loud; rather, let our actions show what we truly mean. Because not everyone has the time to listen to what we're about to say, and that's totally okay. We human beings don't have all the time in the world to understand everything that's happening around us. We're all busy trying to save ourselves and live life the way we want to.

So it's fine if you can't compose yourself to say everything you want to. But remember that there are so many ways to reach those people who are important to you. And I hope you'll be surrounded by the right people who will lend an ear to hear the stories that you've been holding onto."

I wish I was braver // ma.c.a

[inkskinned]

you made me promise i wouldn't write about you, so i haven't. i don't know why. i don't owe you anything.

i turn 30 on july 1st.

i haven't heard from you in over a year. which is kind of nice, if i'm being honest. in that time i think a lot of things changed for me. a lot of things got sharper. for a while i was so utterly broken that i made my therapist cry while i was talking to her. that felt bad. (sorry kate).

i almost made my instagram public again, but then had to pause. would i only be doing that so that there was a chance you'd see me? so we'd cross paths and start talking? the other day someone said "i heard from your ex" and my heart dropped. like i'd been slapped. for some reason, i felt something almost like fear, which doesn't make any sense. i guess my body heard what happened and said: oh, this person hurt me so badly it literally rewrote my life story.

i think you were probably right, and this wasn't a good relationship. there's still strange things i miss doing. i miss playing board games with you. i miss the particular smell of your room. i miss the weight of your leg over my hipbone, your very-slight snore. all of this is still massively less than i used to miss. i miss you gently, almost ambivalently. recently my adhd did a cool trick - i got bored of thinking about it. i used to think i'd never be bored of it. that i could never actually escape it.

it's just that i was supposed to be different at 30. i was gonna be engaged and happy. i was going to be drinking on a rooftop with you. i was going to be coming home early from the party so i could crawl into bed with you. i was going to be looking for a house for us. i think i miss how easy that future would have been - which means, on occasion, i am missing the idea of you.

i am okay. i hope you're okay too, honestly. i've never wanted you to be hurting. you once told me that i'd be too furious with you to ever talk to you again. here's the thing - i am not like you. even after you left me, i was never actually... angry. it just is something that happened, and it hurt, and it's over now, and that's... okay. sometimes it's actually even better.

it's just that... i don't know. recently i was having lunch with a friend and she asked me so you still don't believe in love? and i looked at her and bit my lip. i thought about the rooftop i had imagined and the gift list i compiled with all your favorite things on it. i thought about how i got a new phone right after we broke up just so i wouldn't be tempted to go through photos. i bought myself a couch for my birthday - and it reminded me of you. how horrible; that i can't do anything anymore, not without your shadow somewhere.

here's the thing - i know you're not thinking about me as much. you got to pick up and leave. close the door. enough was enough.

i told my friend depends on the day. i think i believe in community and art and passion and friendship more than i ever have. i think i believe in singing at the top of your lungs and running flat-out and dancing in public. i once told my high school best friend that i didn't expect to make it to 30. i thought i would die far before then, miserable, unhappy. i was doing badly; i assumed all forms of survival had to be indelicate. rough.

i remember because of the melodrama of my teenage spirit. i told him unironically - creatures like me will never find love.

i turn 30 on july 1st. i want to laugh about that moment. but 30 is approaching. and i can't run fast enough.

[death-born-aphrodite]

i wish i never met you. i wish i never imagined what our kitchen would have looked like and what books we’d both have on our night stands. how our kids would’ve probably gotten my brown eyes but would have your nose. i would have married you, you know? white dress and everything. you ruined me. i’ll be writing about you for the rest of my life.

[death-born-aphrodite]

i wish i never met you. i wish i never imagined what our kitchen would have looked like and what books we’d both have on our night stands. how our kids would’ve probably gotten my brown eyes but would have your nose. i would have married you, you know? white dress and everything. you ruined me. i’ll be writing about you for the rest of my life.

[meanwhilepoetry]

I hurt you and I hoped you would do hurtful things to me because I was so used to love being painful. You refused to do these things to me because you cared for me too much until finally you broke. Forgive me, my love. Pain was all I knew then, all I was comfortable with. There are so many times I looked at your kindness with suspicion, confused the melodies of your gentle words for future harm. I have known predators so long that I didn’t see an honest love for what it was. That it looked like this. That it looks like you.

- Nikita Gill, A Text I Never Sent

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[creweemmaeec11]

"What are you doing here?!"

"I heard what you said last night,"

"Y-yeah..! And?! What are you doing here?!"

"Seeing if you've got the nerve to say it twice,"

[muslimahreminder]

[writing-prompt-s]

You find out that you have inherited an old mansion. It’s a beautiful victorian home. The only problem is it’s filled with Supernatural monsters who have made a deal with the previous owners. Take care of their needs and let them live, and they will take care of your needs and protect you.

[norobocock]

Men would rather fly into the sun than go to therapy.

[writing-prompt-s]

The witch grew angry, staring at the baby your wife had birthed four hours prior. “I wanted YOUR firstborn, this is a trick!” You look at the witch, confused. Your wife panics. This was an especially bad way to learn of cheating.

[valtsv]

me: BRING OUT THE DEATH RAY!!!

*my henchmen wheel a large glass tank containing a tiny stingray into the room*

[valtsv]

captive hero: aww!

me: QUIET! this is the deadliest ray known to man. one milli milli milligram of poison from its sting is enough to stop a grown man's heart in under a minute! and he answers only to me! behold your DOOM!

stingray: *nudges my hand*

me, getting down on my knees in front of the tank so i can look him in the eyes: Mortimer, please. i'm trying to be intimidating here.

[valtsv]

you will

[sweetestsecrets]

“You used to be alive, now you’re almost mythic.”

— Alice Notley, from “Songs and Stories of the Ghouls” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[tordenvejr]

i wish you love that is not a test or a lesson

[adampvrrish]

my fatal flaw is that if i don't want to do something i just won't do it like mama raised a quitter for sure.. i'll be doing something and suddenly be like damn what if i just didn't 🤔. very freeing but also i suffer so many consequences

[bipeds]