I'm sorry I have to say this but I think this is what double standards looks like in Greek mythos talk;
Them: Clytemnestra did nothing wrong! Ever!
Me: You mean...apart from cheating, murder, coup and child abuse?
Them: Shut up misogynist! She was a grieving mother and any mother would do that for her child and men cheat too and Agamemnon is a piece of trash and had it coming!
Me: And Cassandra too, I presume...and her other children
Them: You do not understand! She was traumatized and she has been through a lot! She was forced to marry Agamemnon even if he killed her husband and child so of course she would turn like this! They made her do that!
Me: So...if trauma excuses any horrible behavior shouldn't that also apply for the Atreides too?
Them: Fuck no! They are men! They can never have it as hard as Clytemnestra!
Meanwhile the Atreides: Their mother was sold to a relative by her own father to drown because she was having a fling with a slave and then she was married to Atreus whom she proceeded on cheating on him with his brother Thyestes. Thyestes being a man wishing to do anything for power even to cheat on his own brother thus using his lover to collaborate with him. Atreus arguably being one of the scariest figures of myth takes revenge for adultery to the sickest level by killing his nephews and feeding them to their own father and taunting him for it. Thyestes raping his own daughter so he can have his revenge. Atreus raising Aegisthus under his own roof. They becoming exiles when their father got killed and Aegisthus did the full coup after arguably facing the most traumatic childhood a child of myth could go through and had to claw themselves back to their original place...
Me: ...
Me: Yeah they had "La Vie en Rose" playing at the background of their childhood alright. Trauma definitely doesn't apply to them...
Just to be clear I am NOT saying that Clytemnestra had it easy or that her emotions are not valid but if one always uses the trauma as an excuse rather than an explanation for someone's bad deeds in myth then I have to say that the Atreides had all the reasons to become villains and they chose not to and I believe we do not appreciate that enough
And no Agamemnon did NOT want to sacrifice Iphigenia. It was a dictation of the gods and he had no way of refusing that.
And this is going to make a lot of people very angry to hear.
But a lot of y'all on this website are truly deeply genuinely never going to be capable of any kind of real narrative analysis--and I don't mean 'being right all the time' I mean 'meaningfully engaging with the text in any way'--
Because you are, fundamentally, incapable of comprehending that writers usually do things on purpose.
The match cuts were meticulously designed and put there to communicate something.
The VA's delivery of a line was being directed. Inflection and tone change the meaning of dialogue. This is intentional. There are entire teams of people shaping those choices and deciding which take to use based on what works best for the story.
Information is being revealed in a specific order, on purpose, to craft an emotional arc and guide the audience's understanding.
A character's romantic preferences are only, and SHOULD only be, their primary motivation if the genre is romance. That is why there is a genre called that. Most stories are other genres.
Creators who dislike a character generally give them LESS attention, MORE boring storylines, and LESS screentime.
Sometimes curtains are just blue. But if the shot composition or written narration takes time to HIGHLIGHT, especially more than once, that the curtains are blue, then the blueness of the curtains is by definition narratively important.
"Cite your sources" is not a witch's curse that banishes People With Different Opinions to the shadowrealm of Being Wrong. Someone making points that challenge your perceptions, while including screenshots and explicit examples, cannot be dismissed with "cite your sources" because they are literally doing that. Don't @ me on this one I've seen shit in the wars, y'all.
Failing to understand these things WILL bar you from ever really engaging with or understanding any narrative more complicated than Paw Patrol for the rest of your life.
✦ Summary - You get sacrificed to the god of the forest, who happens to be less bestial then you initially thought
⟡ Semi-feral Halsin x reader
✦ Content - AU where Halsin basically stayed in wild shape for so long he accidentally became a local god, this one is kinda long oops - Warnings - MDNI, slight mention of death (if you squint), you’re the sacrifice, virgin reader, age gap, oral (r receiving), smut p-in-v, fingering, unprotected sex
This week it was the eldest lad from the one of the loggers, last week the youngest of the alderman. ‘Bad luck’ some called it but the elderly women whispered of misfortune, of having upset the good will of our god. We had been greedy, offered too little. Now our god, who had been watching over our hunts and our loggers was upset with us. That’s why the children got sickly, why the finest trees meant for cutting now suddenly grew rot and why the only animals our hunters caught barely had any meat on their bones.
This time no bread, fruits nor beer could satisfy as offerings. Something grander had to be brought to the old stone circle in the forest.
The eldest women all gathered at the alderman’s house for an entire day and night. In the morning a decision was made. Like had been done numerous decades before, when the oldest woman was still a girl clinging to her mother’s skirts, they’d send a gift that would certainly please the god of the forest. A gift that would ensure more bountiful hunts and drive the sickness from our trees and children.
The next morning they stepped back out and as the village awaited their decision they appointed you. As your breath caught it was as if the others let out a joined sigh of relief, their loved ones would be safe. You knew why you were chosen, no father and a mother who barely looked at you. A roast pig would be a lousy offering as it could feed the entire village for days. One less mouth to feed wouldn’t be a bother to anyone, especially since you mostly kept to yourself. You wouldn’t be missed, not truly, and that is why you were a perfect choice.
The preparations were made swiftly as everyone felt like they couldn’t spare much more time, not after the death of the alderman’s youngest.
One of the elderly ladies, the one who taught the younger women midwifery, came to your home to speak with your mother. She asked about your virtue, the god of the forest would prefer a wife unspoiled. Your mother confirmed you had not been promised to any of the boys yet. You yourself knew that meant little, girls around your age whispered about sneaking off all the time. Luckily the older woman believed it when you explained that truly none of the village boys had cared to chase after your skirts yet.
That evening you’re dressed in a simple white dress, it was quite pretty, like the kind you got to wear during summer feasts. A garland of flowers placed on your head in the same colors as the braid of cloth tied around your waist. Buttercups, poppies and cornflowers. You had never felt so special before and couldn’t help the smallest smile from forming before you were reminded of the situation.
The whole village had gathered by now and the gathering crowd murmured softly as you were led by hand to the stone trail leading away from the village, towards the deeper parts of the forest. You could hear your mother sniffling quietly. You could also hear the other girls your age giggle behind their hand, glad it wasn’t them walking out of the village on their bare feet.
You tried to look back over your shoulder but the old woman quietly tugged you along. You walked with her for a while as the setting sun colored the sky in hues of gold, orange and red. Eventually you two arrive at a broken circle of old stone. In the trees and bushes surrounding the circle were ribbons tied of the same colors as the cloth around your waist. Empty bowls sat on the small altar in the middle.
The old woman quietly moves some of the old bowls aside and gestures for you to sit, to which you oblige. “You’re very good-“ she murmurs softly as she tucks some hair behind your ear “-very pretty.” A shy smile curls your lips as you lower your gaze. “After tonight… when can I come back?” You ask softly and the woman gives you a pitiful look before shaking her head. “You must sit and stay, be very brave. You’ll be a good wife.” She instructs before turning and shuffling away, leaving you alone as the sun slowly disappears behind the tree line. A wife? Her words ring through your head. You were to be a wife?
Crickets chirp in heaps and every now and then you have to swat away an annoying mosquito, you quietly kick your legs and wait while thinking over the word of the old woman again and again. Then you hear it.
Nothing
The crickets have stopped, you didn’t even notice when exactly they had stopped until you missed the comforting sound. Then a soft rustling in the bushes behind you, the sound of something large sniffing and pawing through the empty bowls scattered around the altar. It moves slowly, in a heavy yet strong way as the creature slowly makes its way around the altar to look at you.
You quietly curse your body and mind for freezing up instead of fleeing when your eyes meet with the largest bear you’ve ever witnessed. Nothing you knew came even close to this beast. As you stare it observes you in turn. After a long moment of just staring at each other the snout of the beast comes closer and presses against your knee before taking a deep breath in. You look down in fear, wondering if this is where you’d meet your end, in the jaws of some bear-god. However, the beast seems to care little about eating you. Instead he steps back and starts slowly moving away from the circle, only to look back with something almost like expectancy in its eyes. It catches you so off guard that you do not dare move, you must’ve imagined it.
When you stay very still the beast turns back and this time moves closer, his snout almost leaning into your lap. Your muscles finally unfreeze and you attempt to scramble back before its jaws close around one of the loose hanging ends of your colored cincture. The beast now gently moves back once more, dragging you off the altar by your cincture after which it once again starts walking away from the stone circle and into the forest. This time with you following, still slightly in a shocked state over how this bear just showed such a sign of clear intent or thought.
You follow quietly until you finally find yourself in front of a cave. The entrance quite low but the bear manages to fit and soon looks at you to follow. Inside it was more spacious. Furs draped on the floor made for a softer feeling beneath your feet, furs that had been tanned by human hands. Perhaps they too had been offerings? In the corner laid the actual bed, a pile of leaf litter, twigs, heaps of moss and other such materials. All of it covered with another one of the unusual pelts.
As you were still inspecting the den, the bear was rummaging through some more bowls and pots in another corner, very similar to the ones strewn about around the altar. After a moment he finds an apple and gently takes it into his mouth before returning and dropping it at your feet. “For me?” You whisper softly but the bear just stares expectantly. You slowly lean down, not wanting to make any sudden moves in case you had misinterpreted. When you pick up the apple the bear looks slightly satisfied, especially when you take a small bite.
After another bite you look at the bear again, the old woman’s words ringing in your head without pause. “Thank you, husband.” You whisper and for a moment you almost imagine spotting a hint of surprise on the large bear’s face.
By now the sun had set and darkness and cold slowly settled into the cave. The bear was more than happy to chomp down on your apple core once you finished eating, after which he sauntered to the large bed and laid down with a tired groan. The branches crunched beneath his weight and after a moment he rolled over onto his side. With a paw he patted the space beside him on the pelts. At this rate you could no longer tell yourself you imagined it and you obey, laying down onto the furs beside him.
You lay still for a moment until the large paws slowly curl around you and you’re pulled into his large, furry chest. His snout nestles into the crook of your neck where he lets out something between a sigh and a groan. Soon his breathing evens out and he’s fallen asleep. For a while longer you listen to the sounds of the forest at night, the soft breathing against your back like a bellow. Sleep finds you too eventually and despite your situation it feels safe.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ݁. ˖ ݁. ⊹₊ ݁.
Most of the following days are spent learning his routine. In the morning you both stroll to the river where you can bathe and he can drink. Then you go on the long stroll that makes up most of the morning and noon. Patrolling the forest and foraging for food. Luckily it was blackberry season so you both get a sweet treat. The patrol always ends at the old, stone circle. It every second day some offerings are laid out, bread, some beer, apples. Your favorite is when there’s something special baked, like the savory meat pies that are left on rare occasions.
Your new life, though unusual, wasn’t bad by any means. Your husband was good to you, gentle in his own way. During long walks you had figured out that he wished you to ride on his back so your feet would not get tired, in turn you’d make sure no ticks or bramble thorns got nestled into his skin. You both looked out for each other in the ways you could.
However, during the latest nights you had noticed unusual things about your new husband. There were times at which you had thought to have heard whispers from him. Once in your sleep addled mind you had imagined a hand upon your waist instead of the usual warm paw. Though usually you brushed it off, you had lived so long among people, and this in itself was such an unusual situation, you could image your mind trying to make sense of it all.
This night, unlike many others, sleep did not find you easily. The more you tried the harder it became to sink into a slumber like usual. You keep your eyes closed and mind your breathing, behind you your husband shifts and let’s out a soft groan. He could not sleep either it seemed. The bed below you rustles as he tries to part from you as quietly as a bear of his size was capable of. It wasn’t unusual for him to wake late to relieve himself, what was unusual on the other hand was the quiet way something else snuck back into the den moments later.
Your husband was large and you did not need to open your eyes to hear him move about. What met your ears now were quiet footsteps, in an instant your eyes are wide open as you look for the intruder. A man with a large build was walking right towards you. Still in the bed you were cornered, you realize now. Dear gods he was completely bare, when he steps closer to the bed you quickly scramble up and press back against the cold walls of the den.
The man’s eyes widen just as much as yours. He looks genuinely surprised and raises his hands in a peaceful gesture. “Wife, it is me.” He mutters after a moment of thinking, his voice gravelly and rough.
You quickly shake your head. “I don’t know you-!” You blurt out as you press back more against the cold wall. The man—or rather, elf— you notice now, has a slightly worried look in his eyes perhaps even a hint of pain which he tries to conceal behind a calm facade. He carefully kneels on the furs before you. “You know me, wife…” He tries again, letting the words linger while making no attempt to move closer.
You study him in the dark of the den and after a moment you squint and lean closer. The thin scars on the side of his face are familiar to you, you noticed them on your husband while removing a tick from his ear once. “But that’s impossible-?” You whisper softly and the elf smiles. “Is it? On the first night I gave you an apple, you called me husband then. I thought that was impossible then too. That something so soft could be a wife to a beast.” He murmurs with a small smile.
It was only something he could know, this elf and the bear were one of the same. While you’re still wondering how your hand slowly reaches out to touch the scar. His hand slowly comes up to take yours and his thumb brushes your knuckles. “I thought a quiet entrance would let you remain asleep, I did not mean to frighten you.” He explains softly.
Meanwhile your eyes are still darting over his body. He was large, truly a bear of a man, despite the irony no other words would do justice. Strong too, his build was more than impressive. “Let me look at you, in the light, I mean.” You whisper as you grasp his hand in turn and lead him closer to the entrance of the den. The little amount of moonlight let through illuminates his face a little more. A strong jaw and a serious face but with gentle eyes. A warm brown that has not changed. Of note is the tattoo on the side of his face, red swirls and arches that seem to follow down his neck as well. He’s actually very handsome now that you get a close look at him.
“Does it suffice-?” He jokes softly in an attempt to break the tension. You can’t help but smile a little. “Well, until moments ago I had no idea there was more to you than the bear-“ you murmur in turn. “Why not tell me?”
He turns away and looks almost… ashamed? “It has been… very long since I last walked on two feet. Decades perhaps. After a while you forget how. To be one with nature is a blessing… but then you.” He explains. “You spoke to me, called me husband. Spoke with me, felt the need to bathe and clean out the den every once in a while. So very human in many ways that I had forgotten. I did not yearn to walk around as a man again but my body remembered, changed without my will when I dreamt of you.”
You listen as he talks. In a way it made sense. This life you had been living with him so far was peaceful, simple even. You hadn’t felt so unburdened in a long time. There was one thing that still irked you though. “What of the offerings? Did they work?”
He raises a brow. “Work for what?” He asks now with a confused look. “The… god of the forest? You know… you look after the village?”
He looks even more confused now. “Those offerings were for me?… I just did not want to let them go to waste. Thought I’d better bring you back too before you’d catch a cold.” He admits before looking you over. “That explains a lot.” Now it is your turn to look confused. “So there is no forest god?” He shakes his head. “I do care for the forest, every now and then I lead a hunter back to the path… but I am no god-“
“I see-“ you whisper as you let it sink in. You’re being hit by one twist after another. Your husband is a bear, except not truly since he is an elf and he is also not the god you thought existed all your life.
“Are you alright?” He asks after a moment, his hand hesitantly reaching out to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod quietly before looking at him again. “Do you have a name?” You ask now while realizing how silly that must sound. He smiles however, a warm smile. “Right, yes. It is Halsin. So far you’ve only even called me ‘husband’, though I liked the sound of that too.” Halsin says. He knew your name already, you had told him once during the evening. While whispering soft rambles into his fur, up to then you had also only ever been ‘wife’ to him so you thought it would make sense he’d at least know your name.
“Halsin.” You repeat it to yourself to get a feel of it. He nods with a growing smile. “It sounds good when you say it.” He admits.
You smile in turn before a small shiver runs up your spine. Being without his warmth makes the chill of the night ever present as it seeps right through your light dress. “Are you cold? We could return to bed.“ Halsin offers and you nod. “Yes, that sounds good right now.”
You allow him to lead you back to bed. He’s still bare but you can’t find it in yourself to mind. “Can you stay like this for a while? I like seeing you, speaking with you.” You whisper while laying down with him and pulling yourself closer to his chest. It was both familiar and new. Most importantly he was still so warm, almost unnaturally so. Halsin nods. “Very well, I shall.” He agrees while his arms wrap around you.
He soon drifts off and you attempt to do the same but you concur that sleep has completely vanished from you tonight. Instead your mind is preoccupied with your husband in his newest form. Your hand quietly trails through the hair on his chest while you shamelessly stare at every inch of him. A soft fluttering awakens within your belly, one that’s slowly replaced with a blossoming heat which makes your thighs clench ever so slightly. A heat that only grows the more you look over his impressive physique.
Halsin, nearly drifting into a deep sleep, is once again wide awake when the scent hits him. Arousal, sweet and warm. He doubted you even knew how good you smelled, or how quickly it affected him. He swallows hard before whispering your name. “Can’t sleep?” He whispers and you shake your head.
A small smile forms on his lips as your hand still trails over his chest. His own slowly making its way up and down your back. His head slowly dips down until he’s inhaling your scent with deep breaths. His lips brushing against your shoulder. “This form… it gives me more freedom to hold you, to touch you.” He murmurs against your skin. A shaky exhale escapes you before you reply. “That’s good… I want you to.”
A soft groan vibrates against your skin and his large hand grasps your hip. Something twitches between you both and you can feel his need for you against your thigh.
“Halsin-?” You gasp softly as he slowly rolls you onto your back. “I fear a greatly desire you.” He murmurs before leaning down to kiss your lips. You quickly melt into the kiss and you part your thighs for him. Instead of just taking he kisses your neck, your collar bones, down to the valley of your breasts. His hands sliding under the white fabric of your dress. He looks up at you for permission and you quickly sit up to help take off the garment.
He gives you little time to feel exposed as he guides you back down to continue the kisses down your body. His hand gently cups a breast but he pays them little mind, clearly another goal in mind entirely. “Let me taste you-?” He groans softly as your thighs part once more. The scent hits his nose in full now, it makes him almost dizzy as he licks the slight wetness from your inner thigh. His breath ghosts over your core, after which he presses a rough kiss to the curls just above your mound.
Both of his large hands hold your thighs open as he dips his head once more, a long lick through your folds draws a whimper from your lips. Your hand quickly tangling in his hair as it doesn’t stay at just one lick. Instead he buries himself like a man starved. Tongue lapping as his teeth graze your bud. He had almost forgotten the taste of a woman but now that he had found it once more he was hooked.
You whine and squirm in his grip, gone too long without knowing how good it could feel. A rough digit slides between your folds and pushes in, soon followed by another as you’re stretched deliciously. You whimper his name like a prayer, over and over again while you maintain a tight grip on his hair.
Finally he manages to tear himself away, a third finger roughly bullying your hole as he looks up at your face. His chin still glistens and his fingers don’t seem to slow down as he observes how sweet you look.
“I need you-“ He groans softly with a hint of desperation and when you manage to look down you can see just how hard he is, to a point where it looks almost painful. With a shaky movement you nod. “P-please.” You manage to stutter as he finally withdraws his fingers. He quickly sucks them clean with a satisfied grumble before aligning himself with your entrance.
He’s big, really big, he realizes it himself as well. So he starts off by coating himself in your wetness slowly. Letting his length slide through your fold a few times before finally returning to your entrance. His head gently nudging at it before slowly pushing in the tip. Just with the tip he slowly rocks back and forth, pushing in just a little further with each movement. “You’re doing well… Does it hurt?” He asks softly. To your surprise it only ached ever so slightly, he was gentle which helped a lot. “Only a little but not too badly.”
“Good, I wouldn’t want you to be in pain.” He says while studying every day minute detail on your face as he slowly rocks deeper until he is finally fully sheathed. The fullness is incredible, pressing deep against your womb while his balls rest against the curve of your ass. Halsin’s body feels like a coiled spring and he does everything in his power to restrain himself. He needs this to be good, not fast. So he slowly moves, leaning over you all the while. His hand holds your hip while the other is planted beside your head. Your own having found purchase on his back where they dig into the solid muscle of his back.
Your body has adjusted and you’re starting to crave more of what he can give you. “F-faster-?” You ask softly and he immediately complies. The den fills with the wet squelching noises and the moans that escape you both. Halsin sounds more like a feral creature, growls and grunts leave his lips at every thrust. His head dips lower until he’s groaning against your shoulder. He grip on your hips tightening as he pulls you down on him faster and harder.
The way he’s almost desperate to have you makes the feeling in your lower belly grow exponentially until your nails dig into his back and your eyes squeeze shut. Before you can voice what is happening a high pitched whine leaves you. Halsin feels your walls squeezing tightly around him and he ruts like a wild animal until he too finds his release. You can feel the spill inside you and he doesn’t pull out yet, instead keeping himself lodged within you snugly.
He turns onto his side and pulls you against his chest. As you both regain your breathing he rubs your back in soothing circles. “You feel perfect… in every way-“ He murmurs into your hair, causing you to smile. You snuggle closer to his chest, still sticky with sweat. “I’m glad you’re more than a bear… you should have me like this more often.” You murmur with a blissful look. Halsin chuckles. “Well of course, you really didn’t think I was done with you already?”
⟡ Notes - I had to do research on bears because they don’t really live where I’m from AND BEARS MAKE BEDS?? 😭💕 SO CUTE
So it’s no secret that I am very autistic about Andromeda hence why I’m upset with this book bc I think it’s an insult to Andromeda and her mythology, I’ve ranted about how bad the premise is for months and I’ve ranted about bits and pieces of the plot that I found out through reviews, so I’ll try not to repeat myself too much.
Also the author insists that haters should read her book before they judge it so… that’s what I’m doing! So I don’t wanna hear anyone say ‘don’t like don’t read”. Also, also I won’t mind other ppl hate reading this too so we can make fun of it together lol
Some ground rules and the like:
1. We Stan a black Andromeda in this house (just don’t ship her with anyone other than her man) so no racism allowed.
2. We can have harsh criticism in this blog but no harassing the author.
3. “It’s just an interpretation” no it isn’t. Interpretations are supposed to be based on the text, so please: point to me exactly where it says or implies that Andromeda and Ceto were lovers. You can’t? Well I can name several sources that tell us that Andromeda loved Perseus so shipping her with the monster that wanted to eat her is an ass pull. At BEST.
4. Read the book yourself. Make your own opinions… also I don’t wanna suffer through this by myself lol so pls tell me what you think of the book as well.
5. Yes I am gatekeeping Andromeda, unironically. I’m sick of these retelling authors ruining stories they don’t understand.
6. I will be repeating myself, a lot. I’ve been complaining about this book for months and I’ll repeat those criticisms here bc I kinda have to.
7. This book also tackles Egyptian mythology, which I’m not knowledgeable about so if you are pls comment on whether or not the book does the Egyptian gods justice… it probably won’t lol
The Prologue: Aphrodite and Athena
Aphrodite and Athena show up to baby Andromeda like fairy god mothers to give her gifts, now there is a connection between Aphrodite and Cassiopeia in archaeological evidence (which the book seems to acknowledge by making her Aphrodite’s priestess) and there’s even Conon’s narrations that suggests Andromeda is a priestess of Aphrodite too bc she regularly visits a shrine of Aphrodite. So Aphrodite being present and gifting Andromeda her beauty? Makes perfect sense.
Now…
Why Athena the bus driver? Her only connection to Andromeda is through Perseus, otherwise there’s nothing going on between them. I’ve been pondering over why she’d be added when Aphrodite is more than enough for the story, if she was written right of course, unfortunately she’s written like this:
Oh my god why are they writing off Aphrodite as shallow? This is just really weird. The line that implies that Aphrodite only ever gifts ppl beauty is just factually wrong, she gifted Andromache a veil on her wedding day (Iliad) and there are other myths where she gifts ppl all sorts of things. Guess this book is gonna give us the ditsy bimbo Aphrodite that so many other insufferable retellings gave us. Fuck me for hoping that Aphrodite will be treated with respect and not get reduced to nothing more than the goddess of beauty.
There’s also the fact that Cassiopeia is so nonchalant through all this which… huh? Even if she is a priestess she’d still be frightened at the presence of gods BC THEYRE GODS!
Anyway, Athena’s gift is Andromeda’s name and a prophecy. I guess the prophecy is basically that she’ll get a cool husband or something? And that’s why Cassiopeia was so comfortable boasting about her daughter’s beauty bc she expected Poseidon will be her husband from the prophecy? Bc again the only way Athena got involved with Andromeda is through her relationship with Perseus. Or is it just… vaguely something about Andromeda becoming the ruler of men? Kinda dumb if that’s the case bc Andromeda is a princess and it’s a given that she’ll be a queen when she’s older.
Personally I prefer to think that Cassiopeia named Andromeda that name bc she struggled to have children (specifically male heirs) that’s more interesting than giving Athena that credit. Or pull an Odysseus and have one of Andromeda’s grandparents give her that name.
Chapter 1
Andromeda is six years old and fishing with her grandmother Achiroe, daughter of the Nile. It’s a cute scene, I like the concept of Andromeda being like a Disney princess that even animals are drawn to her I think it makes sense with that one story in Manilius Astronomica where the Halcyons shield Andromeda’s body when she was chained up for sacrifice. Tho the prose are wordy and could’ve used a bit of sanding around the edges idk.
This scene is quickly ruined by the presence of Phineus:
Who was actually there the whole time and hanging out with them. We’re also told he’s only 10 years older than Andromeda and while we don’t get his age in mythology it’s kinda absurd that anyone would imagine his age as anything other than middle aged man slightly younger than his brother, I can’t think of a reason for the author to write Phineus as younger for any other reason than to make stupid ppl view the eventual grooming as slightly less bad bc hey look Andromeda and Phineus grew up together! Nevermind that when Andromeda is 15 he’ll be 25! And that’s fucking weird!
If you’re new here you’d be thinking “surely this is to show that groomers and abusers are usually family members and ppl the victim loved and trusted and there’s going to be a tragic reveal towards the end where Andromeda sees Phineus for who he truly is and what he wants from her” well congratulations, you’re smarter than the author but that’s not what happens, the author herself says she won’t make Phineus a villain, in fact she even calls him husband material in a podcast 🤢 . Which is ironic bc the rest of the chapter is dedicated to how Andromeda is objectified by everyone around her, yet not by her groomer for some reason.
We’re told that sometimes Achiroe steals away Andromeda so they can play together which is cute but then ruined by this:
So, we’re using the “beautiful women can’t have friends bc men lust after them and women feel threatened or are jealous of them” bullshit, mind you, in Euripides Andromeda, she did have friends, an entire chorus of them in fact and they stayed by her side as she was chained to be sacrificed so you know they were ride or die for her. So making her lonely is just needlessly cruel. We’ll see many more needlessly cruel writing choices throughout this book.
It also does the really stupid thing of implying that it’s mainly beautiful women who are harmed by the violence of men, I thought it was feminism 101 that rape and abuse doesn’t happen to the victim bc they’re beautiful but bc the abuser wants to exert power of them, rape is about power not attraction.
Achiroe then tells Andromeda about the REAL story of Medusa that THEY won’t tell her about idk Achiroe maybe it’s bc that version is asinine and not real and this is where I realize Achiroe won’t bc a real character, but rather a mouthpiece for the nonsense the author is trying to push.
Ok there’s so much wrong going on here so I’ll break it up into points:
1. ‘So brightly came an idea’ I cannot retrieve what has been taken but I can assure you that no man will ever so take again.’ Must go so hard if you’re stupid lmao If Athena was actually helping Medusa why did she help Perseus kill her? Athena is straight up lying to Medusa here yet it’s supposed to be a girlboss moment? She’s actually being a wise and just protector? Is Athena’s support for Perseus gonna be erased in this book? This reminds me of a video discussing smart characters written by ppl who are clearly not smart, I mean there’s so much emphasis on Athena being wise and just to Medusa so then why does she help Perseus kill her years later? Bc whatever explanation you might give will make Athena look stupid, weak, incompetent or indecisive.
2. Who benefits from turning the story into a punishment rather than a gift? How would the “bearded Bards” benefit? How would patriarchy benefit? Why didn’t they erase the “truth of what happened” with Nyctaea or Cassandra? Why is it specifically Medusa when what happened to her isn’t unique?
3. This characterization of Athena directly contradicts what we are told about her in the prologue. In the prologue we’re told she always benefits men even if indirectly “Athena serves them in her turn. Her gifts are always for them - they are always the beneficiaries even if they are not the receivers.”, how does this correlate with her girlboss depiction here? Where she’s supposed to be justice? Is this contradiction intentional? Will it be addressed? Is Athena actually forced to serve men? Or her actions always unintentionally help men? Perhaps in some sort of mental gymnastics to justify both characterizations at once? Or will it not be addressed at all? Going back to point 1 again, is this line: ‘And by then you’ll have such sweet retribution that you shall dies fully satisfied’ supposed to mean that even when Athena “helps women” she’s still benefiting men in the long run? That she would still use Medusa to bring Perseus glory? If that’s the case then why is Athena framed as the good guy by Achiroe? Is Achiroe supposed to be wrong here?
4. Where the fuck are Stheno and Euryale? Where are they supposed to fit in all this? Where is Ceto (Medusa’s mom not the nereid) supposed to fit in this?
5. Why is Achiroe talking about Medusa? They have nothing to do with her. It would make more sense to teach Andromeda about Io, who is not only a priestess wronged by the gods, but she’s also Andromeda’s ancestor. The one and only reason they’re talking about Medusa is for fan service, it’s to jingle keys on the readers who don’t know better.
6. Medusa is not a fucking priestess, Ovid said no such thing, no Greek or Roman author said such thing, I could this scream from the rooftops and the author would say “how loud the wolves are tonight!”.
7. The whole “she was raped for being beautiful so Athena made her ugly to protect her” bullshit. First of all equating beauty with being assaulted is wrong, rape isn’t about beauty it’s about power, ‘ugly’ women are just as likely to be raped as ‘beautiful’ woman, I thought this was common knowledge.
8. If Athena was so concerned with protecting Medusa, why didn’t she turn her into an owl? Why a gorgon?
9. “Athena is justice” read the fucking Iliad and see how she talks about female slaves and how she ignores her Trojan worshippers then get back to me. And don’t pull the ‘it was written by men’ excuse out of your ass bc Medusa’s story would not exist if Ovid didn’t write it down only for it to be misinterpreted.
We aren’t even done with chapter one and I already have so much to say lmao Ceto hasn’t even been introduced yet.
Andromeda says she wished she was ugly like Medusa, Achiroe says it’s dumb to ask for Medusa’s fate (for obvious reasons) and they swim in the Nile till they reach the ocean, which freaks out Andromeda and we get this line: “Those of salt are freshwater’s foe” I really hope this isn’t forcing a fake ethnic/cultural divide between Ocean and River deities bc they’re literally supposed to be siblings and cousins.
We also get this eye-rolling ‘parallel’ between Andromeda and Medusa:
Again need I remind y’all MEDUSA WASN’T A PRIESTESS!!
Also remember a while back when I posted about this scene and I said that Andromeda was 9? I was mistaken she was actually ten. Which would make Phineus twenty years old. I fucking hate this bitchass groomer and this stupidass plotline, if you’re gonna retell a story through a feminist lens then do it with a feminist lens! Don’t whitewash the groomer of all his faults and make his relationship with his victim a cute little unrequited romance. Andromeda throws a tantrum to her parents in front of Cepheus’s friends and advisors and they all laugh so Andromeda runs off, Cassiopeia finds her and tells her this:
So ig Cassiopeia had that stupid little “scheme” to get her daughter a better marriage in the back of her mind for years now.
We also learn that Achiroe is also a groomer! Yayyyyy it especially rubs me the wrong way considering that Achiroe tells of the modern misinterpretation of Medusa, so you’d think she’d have modern views on other things but no, she’s perfectly fine with her son grooming and eventually raping her granddaughter as long as he “takes care of her”. Again, if you thought this was actually commentary on how children are more often groomed and abused by family rather than strangers, I promise you that’s not what the book is going for. In fact Achiroe is supposed to be Andromeda’s ‘safe space’. Plus this exchange between Phineus and Andromeda makes me so damn uncomfortable.
There’s also this… Yeah the grooming is taking affect 🤢🤮
Andromeda then goes to a banquet thingy and gets grouped by Cepheus’s friends. Sighhh remember how the author said that she doesn’t want to portray black men as predatory so that’s why she portrayed Phineus as a good guy? Yeah it’s all bullshit and she’s a fucking liar, bc all those men who attacked Andromeda were Ethiopian men so she traded portraying one black man as predator to portraying multiple black men as predators, but I guess it’s fine bc they’re unnamed characters!
Such asinine and pathetic carelessness, all in one chapter no less. Then Phineus swoops in and saves the day!
Don’t you see guys! He’s so handsome and protective over Andromeda! He’s so smart and non violent too! Pls ignore that he’s ten years older than her! Pls ignore all the grooming! Achiroe avenging Andromeda is also very laughable bc if it was Phineus abusing Andromeda I know for a fact she wouldn’t do anything. God this is so fucking disgusting and the fact the author doesn’t realize it makes it worse.
And the “western gods” bs omg the divide between east and west as we know it today did not exist in antiquity so this feels awfully out of place. And has the author ever heard of religious syncretism? Ancient ppl merged the Egyptian and Greek gods together, they weren’t actually seen as separate beings.
Ok I think I’ll stop here, I have a bad headache but I will be coming back with more chapters.
Andromeda and Achiroe sit in the banks of the River Nile watching nymphs go to the sea to attend Poseidon’s wedding. Achiroe is being unreasonably bitchy about it:
Oh my god what is it with this fake ass hostility and divide between sea and river gods? They’re literally part of the same family it’s like separating H2O from water, and Doris was always a sea goddess and there’s nothing implying that she and Nereus had any issues (as far as I’m aware) most sources about them talk about how many babies they have so idk about you, but it seems to me that they like each other lol
And saying nymphs’ powers are constrained by their fathers and ‘masters’ is also wrong. Saying the nereids are loyal to no one? Also bs, we hear of plenty of myths where they obey Poseidon and other Olympian gods. Nereus selling himself and his daughters to Poseidon? Also bs and Nereus was never King of the sea. If anything Poseidon gets along with most water gods fairly well so to write off as Poseidon only having power through sheer force is ridiculous and unrealistic, how does he keep power unless his allies actually like him?
Remember when we saw that retelling that makes the nereids Poseidon’s slaves? Yeah it seems this retelling will take a similar approach. Bc fuck the nereids being happy amirite?
Achiroe calling her own kin slaves is nasty as hell, hate her already.
So Cassiopeia is just… mean lol
Cepheus not respecting the Egyptian gods is also kinda ridiculous, did the author never hear of religious syncretism? If Cepheus worships Greek gods then he wouldn’t be rejecting Egyptian gods at all, he’d just merge the two pantheons together (like the real cultural exchange between Greeks and Egyptians) some obvious examples is Io-Isis and Hermes-Anubis.
Why is Cassiopeia a priestess of Tawaret? What’s the connection between the two? Why not Astarte since we already know of Cassiopeia’s connection to Aphrodite? Or is Aphrodite too much of a dumb bimbo to the author?
I made fun of the orange thing before bc it’s historically inaccurate but idk, I kinda softened to it a bit, since it connects Cassiopeia to Jaffa, then it was ruined by turning Cassiopeia and Cepheus’s marriage to rape 😐 seriously why do pp, assume nearly every relationship in mythology is rape? Is it crazy to think that Cepheus and Cassiopeia actually liked each other?
Ig I like the little reference to the Iliad, in which the gods dine with Ethiopians, makes sense that Zeus and Cepheus met ig.
Cassiopeia orders Andromeda to clean up and wear some silver jewelry. Andromeda was wearing a wreath of flowers but Cassiopeia removed it and stomped on it. Womp womp
Chapter 3
This chapter is structured really weird, like it’s supposed to be Andromeda going to her room to get dressed but her thoughts always go back to flashbacks that when we are brought back to the present I was like “wait she isn’t ready? She isn’t even in her room yet? WTF is she doing?”. We are told Cassiopeia and Achiroe don’t like each other since Achiroe always spirits Andromeda away so they could play in the Nile, honestly I don’t blame Cassiopeia at all I hate Achiroe too lol
There’s also this… if Zeus went to dine with Ethiopians why do they have a frieze of him eating his wife? That’s just weirdly backhanded. Also Ethiopia doesn’t have slavery bc Achiroe is so woke she won’t allow war and as we all know, you can only have slaves through war, there’s no other way to get slaves! And an ancient civilization that doesn’t have slavery and doesn’t engage in war? It’s a damn miracle they weren’t eaten alive by their neighbors yet lol
Andromeda overhears a conversation between her parents, Cassiopeia brought over suitors without Cepheus’s knowledge, he berates her for this bc it’s already been decided that Andromeda will marry Phineus but Cassiopeia insists they should give the suitors a shot, she also doesn’t want Andromeda to marry Phineus bc he’s not good enough for her. There’s also some more tiresome Phineus glazing and Achiroe being a bad mom to Cepheus:
lol wow Achiroe is such a man hating girlboss that she did nothing when her son raped his wife and her other son is grooming her granddaughter.
Whatever Andromeda gets ready and she says something about makeup being frowned upon by Athiopians bc its viewed as “deception” 😐 there’s also some Aphrodite slander:
“I have heard much of how the goddess of beauty is jealous with her gifts. She is unsatisfied by gratitude – she fears it as evidence that her own overgenerosity might create a mortal capable of outshining her – and resentful of thanklessness, as all gods are.”
Why make one of Andromeda’s patron’s so vapid and pathetic?
Chapter 4
So they throw a banquet for the arriving suitors and they each meet with Andromeda. But this chapter is mainly about how Phineus is sooooo much better than all of them! He’s so much cooler, stronger and handsomer than all of them! Andromeda is 16, Phineus.
“At sixteen and twenty-six we are still child and man in my eyes, a chasm apart. But most would not see us as such and one day, one day in not so long, as my mother reminds me, I will bleed and become a woman. Will it come overnight, my woman-ness, rushing like the blood between my legs? Will I long for Phineus the way I hear other girls long for their lovers? The nobles’ daughters whisper of him; I hear them when we are thrust together for dinners and dances. Their feverish voices rise to a peak as they praise his strength, his sharp jaw, his kind eyes. They giggle hungrily of the things his big, quick hands might accomplish.”
Let’s all die of cringe together.
There’s also a scene where Phineus and Andromeda dance together and it reminds of a similar scene in “The Shadow of Perseus”
Guys I need to know, is this suitor/dancing ritual a real thing? Like is it based on a real practice? Or did two different writers decide on the same story beats for the same characters? Pls I’m genuinely curious lol
Anyway Cassiopeia sees that bitchass groomer with her daughter and this is where she says her iconic boast, there’s a reaction almost immediately, Achiroe breaks in and asks Cassiopeia wtf she said, a storm and earthquake happen to and…
“A second later the world beneath me quakes. I feel a weight on top of me, warm, reassuring, and turn my head just enough to note that Phineus covers my body with his.”
THIS IS LITERALLY THE SCENE IN THE OG CLASH OF THE TITANS! In the movie Cassiopeia boasts that Andromeda is prettier than Thetis to which Thetis sends and earthquake AND ITS PERSEUS WHO SHIELDS AND PROTECTS ANDROMEDA NOT SOME BITCHASS GROOMER STOLEN VALOR STOLEN VALOR!!!!
Istg you’d think it’s McLeod who has a crush on Phineus, not Andromeda herself.
Chapter 5
Poseidon shows up, he’s gigantic and Amphitrite and *gags* Ceto are there with him. They confront Cassiopeia over what she said, Achiroe tries to involve herself but they shut her down and there’s this exchange:
Wonderful seeing a myth where Poseidon respects the nereids and turn it to… this
And Poseidon agrees to give Cassiopeia and Andromeda a chance with ZERO pressure, utterly absurd! Why is Poseidon practically rewarding Cassiopeia for her hubris? How am I supposed to take him seriously as an antagonist if he falls for something so stupid? Why would he throw away having an immortal goddess when his wedding is already set for the of chance a mortal is prettier than her? Why the fuck would Poseidon think having sons is so important? Gods don’t have heirs (at least they don’t want to) and Poseidon is supposed to have Triton with Amphitrite. Triton himself was around when Poseidon was thirsting after Amymone, which is centuries before the events of this book.
Poseidon swears by his blood which is so corny and unnecessary bc the river Styx IS RIGHT THERE! She’s the goddess of oaths! This is just try hard and edgy I can’t take it seriously.
Andromeda goes to her room and cries over this stupid situation.
I wanna add more to my criticism of the chapter bc omg there’s so much going on that I didn’t get into bc I wanted to go to bed lol
First of all, Cassiopeia is an idiot and a terrible mother in this, she was both of those things in mythology but when myth Cassiopeia made her boast she was being careless she didn’t know it would lead to terrible consequences. But this stupid ass Cassiopeia WANTED the terrible consequences, the author wants me to think Cassiopeia is playing 4D chess but she isn’t, she’s being a moron! How did she know Poseidon will react the way she wanted? How did she she know that Poseidon would actually personally show up? How did she know Poseidon won’t just send a flood without a second thought? The answer to all these questions is that she had no fucking clue, she was willing to risk the lives of her people, guests and her family on a fucking hunch. Cassiopeia thought of doing this stupid stunt when Poseidon was having his wedding no less.
I’ve also said it a million times but if Poseidon actually was interested in Andromeda he would’ve just kidnapped her, he wouldn’t bother to make a stupid wager with her mom. The wager itself is also stupid it deviates from the myths so much it might as well be an original story, in mythology it’s Andromeda’s life on the line not Cassiopeia and that’s important, Poseidon and the nereids wanted to punish Cassiopeia but they understood that taking her life would be too easy so they will take her daughter instead, to flip that around is just dumb and goes against the theme of children being punished for what their parents did. The only reason for this change is bc the author didn’t want Andromeda to be a damsel in distress, or it’s bc if it’s Andromeda’s life on the line, the “romance” between her and Ceto won’t really work bc Ceto would be a bitch to a girl that will die if she loses.
Speaking of Ceto, god what an ass pull of a reason to have her involved, there’s no such thing as edgy blood oaths in mythology and the nereids weren’t Poseidon’s slaves. McLeod had to ruin the world building of mythology just so she can have her little OC in the story. What even is the point of having Ceto guard Andromeda? Who cares if Andromeda uses cosmetics? Poseidon would be able to tell. Who cares if Cassiopeia tried to escape? They’re gods they’d be able to find and punish her. Why can’t Poseidon just chose for himself? Is he so reliant on his slaves he can’t make his own opinions? The king of the sea is too stupid to chose who he wants to marry? Again, how am I supposed to take him seriously?
This whole plot is stupid and it makes everyone involved look stupid and it’s all just to accommodate this fuckass monster’s existence and its fake ass romance with Andromeda.
Chapter 6
We’re told Cassiopeia taught Andromeda sex education and marriage and all that, there’s a Danaus and Egyptus reference, there’s some Hera slander bc of course:
“of what some men do to women, the vows they break and somehow are not punished for. Horkos, it seems, does not care to uphold all oaths and Hera, it seems, does not care for all wives”
Is Hera supposed to micromanage everything? Arghhh
And Cassiopeia doubles down on her stupidity:
“‘I do not know why you look so worried. There is only abundance in your future. You will marry Phineus and sit on my throne, or you will marry the Lord Poseidon and be Queen of the Sea.’”
So she’s just stupid and doesn’t care for her own life, what makes her think that bc Poseidon agrees to let her live, then he might plan to assault her later down the line anyway? God this is infuriating. And Cepheus agrees with Cassiopeia bc he’s a spineless idiot.
So Andromeda and Ceto finally meet, Ceto is bitchy and Andromeda is a spoiled brat.
I’m sorry but is this supposed to be banter? They’re so fucking annoying, Ceto has no right to insult Andromeda when her mother’s life is on the line and Andromeda in turn has no right to insult a goddess this way, the way it actually excites her is actually insane. I feel like the only reason the blood oath thing was added is bc if Ceto had an inkling of agency she would just kill Andromeda. There’s also the fact Ceto mixes up the Graiai with the Fates when THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT GROUPS OF WOMEN! Istg was her only research the Disney Hercules movie? The larping is so obvious. And Andromeda hating other girls her age bc they’re mean and envy her? Hmmmmm that sounds familiar!
Ceto says this:
“‘It is a kind of assertion, a reiteration. He wants your family to know that he is always watching. That they may have the protection of a couple of small freshwater gods, but as all rivers return to the sea, so must you all turn to him.’”
Which is bullshit, gods don’t need their servants to personally watch over their favored mortals, they can do that just fine on their own, and why does Ceto even need to be visible to Andromeda? Why would she need to talk to her? Why not invisibly watch over her like what an actual god would do? She bitches about having to spend time with Andromeda yet she literally doesn’t have to.
Then she mocks Andromeda for having a “small” life bc she *checks notes* has a simple happy life? The fuck? This is middle school bullying! Secretly soft my ass. If she was secretly soft she’d simply be cold and distant not outright cruel.
Andromeda cries to Achiroe about this and of course, Ceto follows her. Man… if only Andromeda had her period then and Perseus shows up and kills this fuckass monster, bet Andromeda would actually be grateful.
Speaking of Achiroe, she mentions she’ll go to Niki’s and Athena for help, at first I rolled my eyes at the Athena mention then I remembered that Athena helped Danaus (Achiroe’s son) and his daughters escape from Aegyptus, so whatever I’m fine with Achiroe and Athena being connected here.
Oh and I almost forgot, Andromeda has a crush on some random girl but she doesn’t realize what she feels is attraction or whatever. This is such a nothing detail lol we don’t even meet or hear from the “jasmine scented” girl and I bet she’d be a better partner than that fuckass monster.
Chapter 7
Andromeda turns 17 and still hasn’t got her period, she mentions that her father’s men are starting to look at her hungrily but not the writer’s favorite of course! Phineus is a good guy!
Anyways, Ceto complains about being forced to hang out with Andromeda (completely self afflicted btw), Ceto and Andromeda continue to rage bait each other and it’s supposed to be fun ✨enemies to lovers ✨ banter but it’s so fucking childish and annoying. Andromeda finally grows a spine and attacks Ceto:
They stop bc it started to rain, which ig took them off guard, the rain was apparently sent by Zeus as a sort of congrats to Poseidon for that dumbass wager. The harvest is plentiful that year bc of the rain, the news of Andromeda’s engagement reaches far and wide so obviously ppl want to make alliances with Ethiopia since their princess will become queen of the sea, Cepheus rejects all of it which makes Cassiopeia mad.
I said in a separate post how dumb it is that Cassiopeia wants Andromeda to marry a foreign king and well, she explains why:
The slaves thing is really dumb and painfully modern. Could it not be that Ethiopia is so prosperous that even slaves practically live in luxury or something like that? Whatever this book is painfully modern in some ways so it makes the writing with Phineus even more absurd and gross.
Speaking of Phineus, he’s seeing another girl oh no! (Thank god)
My knee jerk reaction is to be happy but then I realized that if Andromeda lost the wager, she won’t be able to marry Phineus and so she’ll be forced to leave Ethiopia and marry a foreign king. So yeah fuck Phineus for this honestly.
Then we get the fakes conflict that Andromeda is so lonely bc all the girls are mean and jealous of her 🥺 it’s so comical that Andromeda even has an “I’m not like other girls” monologue:
“I say nothing still. I cannot bear her to know the truth of how I tried, desperately, in my girlhood, to get the others to like me. I wanted to be like them, but I, of course, am not. I was too eager, too willing, and it made them uncomfortable. It was unseemly; I am a princess, I should have ordered them around, let them seek and follow, but I did not. Any jealous coveting could have turned to awe, but I did not cut such an impressive figure up close. I was too strange, running back from the river tangled in reeds.”
Andromeda snaps back at Ceto’s comment and reminds her that she’s also lonely bc her sisters are scared and disgusted by her being a monster (which is dumb bc Thetis is also a shapeshifter) and this is when I realized that all of Ceto’s bullying is just projection, like a typical bully. This dynamic is so juvenile and insufferable that even the moment where they’re supposed to soften and relate to each other is annoying, I hope they both lose.
Ceto and Andromeda do some more back and forth then Ceto points out that even if Andromeda does marry Poseidon, the nereids will make her miserable and she has a point, who’s to say that Amphitrite wouldn’t want revenge after being horribly insulted like this? Again, Cassiopeia is an idiot for not considering any of this.
Chapter 8
We get further confirmation that the Ethiopians don’t worship Egyptian gods which is dumb, it also reminds us that Cassiopeia resents the fact they prefer the Greek gods which is also dumb be she’s trying to get her daughter married to one.
There’s also a mention of Andromeda wearing a white dress (yay Ovid reference) but she says it’s her least favorite (boooooo) is Andromeda not allowed to have anything? Is she not allowed to feel cute in white?There’s also also a festival for the Nile flood and also Andromeda’s birthday… which makes Poseidon nervous lol
Ceto calls Andromeda “vapid, myopic and boring” which perfectly describes the book lol
But I also can’t help but feel that this insult is McLeod projecting what she feels about Myth Andromeda, whom she always calls “nothing but a pretty face” now that I think about it I think all of Ceto’s insults towards Andromeda are actually aimed towards her mythical counterpart for being too soft and feminine and not a girlboss. Then she randomly compliments Andromeda, it’s so out of nowhere oh my god this has to be one of the dumbest enemies to lovers I’ve ever seen.
Hey remember how the author said that portraying Phineus as a predator is racist? Yeah turns out she’s ok with depicting the vast majority of Aethiopian men as abusers. Yay anti racism!
Then there’s the most hilariously fanficy part of the book.
These two have a back and forth, Andromeda feels bad for what she said but she says but she really shouldn’t, Ceto lashes out and with zero buildup gives Andromeda a little carved hippo and calls her Meda *hurls*. Oh I failed to mention this but the night of the Poseiodon episode, Phineus gave Androneda a carved hippo. How cute that the fuckass monster and the bitchass groomer have parallels!
After that there’s a party with drinking and dancing and Andromeda is harassed by some boys, Ceto swoops in and saves the day (even does the ‘who did this to you 😡’ trope) and cuts off the hands of one of the boys lol would she do the same with Phineus? Nah I don’t think so he’s the author’s favorite.
This whole sequence of events is so rushed and shallow, all Ceto and Andromeda did throughout the book is rage bait and fight each other (something Andromeda admits she enjoys bc the author thought it would be cool to make her a masochist) and the first time Ceto says something nice to her it’s completely out of left field, she even calls her her queen unironically at one point, I was given no reason to think Ceto is falling for Andromeda and vis versa, they’re both insufferable and annoying and I am not convinced of their romance at all. This author just shoved random tropes into these characters with no rhyme or reason.
Andromeda and Achiroe eat figs by the Nile and Ceto joins them, I now realize this is the first interaction between Achiroe and Ceto (that we see at least) and it’s ridiculous bc I know the only reason they didn’t interacted years ago is bc Achiroe would’ve threatened Ceto into being nicer to Andromeda, but if that happens then we won’t have all that cute annoying banter!
They mention the boy who harassed Andromeda and… I’m ashamed to admit it but this actually made me feel bad for him, idk why ig he reminds me of Melanthius and how he had his hands chopped off and we weren’t even told if he died or not. This just sound horrible and needlessly cruel, and to write that moment as the catalyst for Ceto and Andromeda falling in love also makes me uncomfortable. Why couldn’t Ceto just beat this guy up? That’s such would’ve sent the message loud and clear not to mess with Andromeda without permanently disabling someone in a world that is unkind to disabled ppl.
Ceto mentions that she’s named after her aunt (Ceto mother of Medusa) which is cute and probably the only thing I like about this character and we also learn that there are 2 Beluses, not the way I would’ve went about it but it’s not bad either (the way we’re told about this is very exposition-y and unnatural tho), guess Achiroe has a type lol but the fact she mentions the Danaids… I’m so fucking scared that McLeod would make a retelling about them.
Anyways, after that Andromeda and Ceto go to the Nile’s lake (which is super far away) so that Andromeda could look at a clear reflection of herself in the water, which makes sense bc bronze mirrors don’t tell a fully accurate picture. Ceto turns into a sea serpent and they swim for a while, then she flies bc she needs to steal Perseus’s nachos, it’s all cutesy and romantic and blah blah I can’t wait for this fuckass monster to die.
Andromeda sees the clearest reflection of herself appearance for the first time and freaks out:
Ceto tells Andromeda she can’t marry Poseidon bc he’s horrible, Andromeda brings up she’s favored by Athena and doesn’t mention Aphrodite lol
I really hate the concept that Poseidon enslaved everyone around him including other important sea gods, why do they only obey him bc they’re scared of going to Tartarus? That’s such a flimsy way to keep ppl under control. Ceto also mentions that she can’t disobey Poseidon bc Horkos will punish her for beating her oath, this is when I realize that Styx probably isn’t the one to deal out the punishment (deals between gods is literally her domain) bc she’s a woman and a woman oppressing another woman is just impossible lol
They almost kiss, thankfully they don’t, but ig they’ll now try to figure out a loophole so that Andromeda doesn’t marry Poseidon but also how to save Cassiopeia.
Chapter 10
Ceto and Andromeda return to the palace and Cassiopeia questions them, they tell her they were just hanging out in the river which is half true so she doesn’t question them further. Andromeda laments that she isn’t close with her mother like she used to as a small child, Yeah too bad the author focused more on Andromeda’s relationship with Ceto bc she could’ve focused on Cassiopeia instead.
Phineus is back and they lament over the fact that they’ll never get married but how they still care for each other (ew) there’s also mention that Phineus would inherit the throne, lol get the fuck outta here that throne belongs to Perses, honestly I hope Perses kills him and take what’s rightfully his. Phineus says that it’s weird Andromeda doesn’t have her period yet (she’s 20) and he suspects that Ceto has something to do with it, and it makes sense why he’d think that:
“And why would I do that?’ Ceto asks wryly.
‘It is thought that she acts in favour of her sister, Amphitrite. That she hopes to give her more time to find a way to sway the bargain in her favour.’ He answers as if I am the one who asked.”
But that’s not what happened.
Ceto basically admits she doesn’t care if Cassiopeia lives or dies (Perseus would never) and Andromeda feels uncomfortable about that. At least Amphitrite likes Poseidon and matches his craziness ig?
It’s also revealed that Achiroe wasn’t being useless bc she did seek out Athena and they slowed down Andromeda’s period, ig credit where it’s due I understand why Achiroe didn’t share this plan with Andromeda bc Ceto will overhear them and report to Poseidon what they’re planning. There’s some more talk and they eventually agree that they need to find a way to stop Andromeda’s period completely. Crazy how Amphitrite hasn’t tried to sabotage Andromeda for all these years.
Chapter 11
Turns out Amphitrite can do witchcraft (idk if that’s in mythology or not) and Ceto gets her to agree to meet with Andromeda so that Andromeda can convince her to give her a potion that will stop her period. Ceto herself can’t ask Amphitrite bc Poseidon can force Ceto to tell him if they were scheming something, so Andromeda is the one to ask Amphitrite for help and they have this exchange:
Don’t you see you guys? Poor poor Ceto getting abused by her sisters! Nevermind that the nereids in mythology were very close and helped each other raise their young or mourned for each other’s loses, you can really tell the author is a TSOA fan lol and a Circe book fan too:
“I nod. Even immortals are weakened by pharmaka – it is why such witchcraft is so feared by the gods. It is seen as dirty, unjust and unsanctioned, a greedy clawing at unnatural power.”
Yeah bro let’s forget that the king of the gods honors and respects the goddess of witchcraft. Amphitrite agrees to help and gives Andromeda a concoction that she needs to take every month, then she leaves.
Andromeda confronts Ceto about the situation and we learn all this about Poseidon, arghhhhh
They kiss after this… yeah and Andromeda gets Ceto to agree to live with her from now on so that she doesn’t need to go back to her abusive sisters. I can’t even bring myself to be mad anymore this ‘romance’ is so ass I can’t find the words they literally only fall in love bc nearly everyone else abuses them.
Chapter 12
Andromeda is now almost 21 and everyone else is weirded out that Andromeda still doesn’t have her period yet, even Cassiopeia is embarrassed her dumbass plan didn’t work, ppl start thinking she might be cursed or have a “wandering womb” but Andromeda doesn’t mind bc she’s living her best life with that fuckass monster.
Cepheus and Cassiopeia bring in male physicians to examine Andromeda… ON HER BIRTHDAY
First of all, it’s ridiculous that they don’t have a female physician to examine Andromeda, ancient Egyptians had some of the earliest known female physician so it makes no sense that Ethiopia doesn’t have them, so this detail was only added to needlessly traumatize Andromeda bc we all know that the more a female character suffers the more feminist the story is!
Also omg the fucking priestess thing, idk much about Egyptian priestesses but I don’t need to bc this book tells us time and again that the Ethiopians follow Greek customs and religion, so we all know that virginity wasn’t actually a requirement for priesthood and even if it was it’s complicated but another requirement is “wholeness” and health and we were already told ppl think Andromeda is sick or cursed so there’s no way they’d allow her into a sacred place.
Second of all, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS THE FIRST TIME CETO SAW YOU NAKED?? I’ve joked in a different post about how Andromeda seems to always swim with her clothes on but this is ridiculous, really? She never removed her clothes before swimming? Not to mention I’m pretty sure ancient Egyptians were pretty relaxed about nudity, at least between women. I mean we literally see so much art of women swimming or dancing naked or mostly naked but idk anyone who’s knowledgeable about ancient Egypt pls correct me.
So Andromeda is needlessly traumatized, she and Ceto go to a spring to cool off and they start playing and flirting and eventually have sex (the fact this happens the exact same day she was forced to undress in front of men is insane) and the sex scene is as cringe as you’d expect, it doesn’t read like two inexperienced women having sex for the first time, its just a bad smut book, it’s just Andromeda being a dom and Ceto being a whimpering sub it’s so cringe. And Ceto even mentions Amphitrite teasing her for being attracted to women lmao they just found out that women can have relations with each other and they have sex like porn stars, here’s a small segment:
‘Meda,’ her voice is a raw cry, ‘Meda.’
I show her my teeth. I am feral for her.
‘Now, now, worm,’ I purr, ‘be a good girl, and ask nicely.’
‘Please.’
I joke about Andromeda dominating Perseus but even I don’t imagine the, having that dynamic the first few times they do it, that’s just not how relationships or sex works, especially between two virgins.
Wanna complain a bit more about the previous chapter - I 10000% believe that the only reason that Andromeda’s period took so long is bc the author wanted Andromeda to be old enough to have this cringey ass sex scene, bc it literally adds nothing to story it’s just self indulgent.
Chapter 13
Andromeda and Ceto hang out some more (thanks I hate it) and Andromeda laments how she and Ceto will not be remembered the correct way lol
Ceto is eating her out the very next scene lmao anyway a storm comes, everyone in Ethiopia thinks “hell yeah rain” but Achiroe, Ceto and Andromeda realize something is off, Achiroe leaves to talk to Nilus and the other 2 wait for her by the river banks and Amphitrite shows up and tells them to give her the anti period potion:
The gods are mad but they don’t know that Amphitrite helped bc Artemis covered for her, I’m actually kinda surprised that Artemis’s characterization is t awful in this book. But I have a hard time believing that this Amphitrite would selflessly help anyone especially someone who was hated by the Queen of the gods at the time.
So Ceto and Andromeda are upset but that’s ok bc even if Poseidon marries Andromeda she and Ceto could still be together! Whatever. That night Andromeda gets visions of grey eyes and basically sleepwalks to the palace garden, where Phineus was also summoned by Athena, yet for some reason it isn’t Athena who shows up but Aphrodite and Artemis.
The way Aphrodite is described here is literally exactly how she’s described in the Percy Jackson book lol McLeod I know what you are. So yeah the characterization of Aphrodite here is buns (it’s a shame that the implied connection she had with Andromeda in Conon’s Narrations means nothing to the author), Artemis is slightly better and I actually really the idea of Artemis taking her brother’s arrows when she needs to kill a guy, btw she shoots Phineus:
LETS FUCKING GO YAYYYYYY weird how Aphrodite doesn’t realize that it isn’t Phineus that’s causing Andromeda to have second thoughts on marrying Poseidon but Ceto, isn’t she supposed to be the goddess of love? Shouldn’t she know if one of the Erotes shot Andromeda and Ceto with love arrows? Or is the love between the two girls too special to be caused by a love god?
I honestly don’t see the point of this scene, if the gods wanted to kill Phineus why not just kill him? Why do Aphrodite and Artemis need to physically show up? Just fan service? Just to punish Andromeda?
Chapter 14
Andromeda wakes up in bed beside Ceto, thinking what she experienced the previous night was a weird dream so they go about their day, then they hear that Phineus is badly sick (Cepheus and Cassiopeia are really nonchalant about this which is funny) and is being tended to by physicians, at first I was mad bc I thought he wasn’t gonna die lol but he does thankfully:
This book is trying so damn hard to make me feel bad for this bitchass groomer and I hate it, “I play wife to Phineus” YOU ARE A VICTIM!!! “If only there were men such as Phineus” there are so many men who are just like him all over the world (even today) just not in the way you think.
Friendly reminder that the author said that she didn’t write Phineus as a “loving fiancé”, look at the scene I just showed (along with other scenes including Phineus) then look at the reply, it feels like she’s mocking me.
I do not understand why she’s bending over backwards to make Phineus this saint like figure. Naunce my ass bc nothing about Phineus is complex or nuanced he’s literally perfect in every way and it’s insufferable.
Achiroe and Cassiopeia have an argument, I have no more fucks to give. Andromeda gets her period and it hurts real bad oh noooo
Chapter 15
Andromeda’s cramps get so bad that Ceto takes her to a salt lagoon to soothe her pain. They argue over what to do next, Ceto doesn’t want Andromeda to marry big bad Poseidon and Andromeda doesn’t want Ceto to get punished for lying (also she doesn’t want her mom to die but that’s not her main reason somehow lol) there’s more back and forth and they have sex, I think this is the longest sex scene by far and I skipped all of it.
They travel to the Red Sea (you know what that means 😈 Perseus about to show up) and Poseidon gifts them two white mares, the only in character thing he’s done does in the entire book btw
The whole family goes to the Red Sea except for Achiroe and the reason is nonsense:
“But for the first time in my life, I do not believe her. She cannot journey into the sea. She can’t stray too far from her father’s river. Her godhood is a golden fetter about her neck; she is dazzling and lovely and kept here. I clutch her again.”
There are plenty of stories where River gods travel around no problem, Mcleod just couldn’t have Achiroe around for what happens next, when the everyone else arrives at the coast, Cassiopeia prepares Andromeda to meet Poseidon, they have one last heart to heart where Cassiopeia says that her stupid plan was all for Andromeda who in turn says she understands and they hug it out.
We finally meet Poseidon aaaaand Ceto throws Cassiopeia under the bus, wonderful.
So remember that podcast where they joke that Poseidon in this book is hot and the author intended for Poseidon to be kinda sexy and entoxicating or whatever? Yeah the two times we meet him I do not see it, nothing he says or does is attractive, even the way he’s described is unattractive, even in “I, Medusa” he’s hotter than this, even the Phineus in this book is looks and acts more attractive. So what fucking gives? Will he be attractive later?
Ok I neglected to mention it in the previous chapter, but Andromeda and Ceto agree that they need to tell the truth and say Andromeda is the prettiest, which makes what happens next even more infuriating.
Chapter 16
Ceto has the audacity to be upset with Andromeda trying to save her mother BITCH THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT YOU PROMISED ANDROMEDA AND YOU BETRAYED HER NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
Whatever Poseidon is mad as hell and wants to punish all of Aethiopia for Cassiopeia’s hubris and uses some dumb loophole to make it so Cepheus is responsible:
“Poseidon raging is terrible, but Poseidon smiling is a horror. He interrupts my father’s blithering. ‘Well, you might make a sacrifice. Sacrifices please the gods, I hear.’
‘Yes! Yes! Of course! I will call for an altar! I have a priest!’
Poseidon points to the coast. ‘I take the cape as my altar but you may fetch your priest.’
‘Of course, my lord.’ My father is obsequious, sweating and scraping and pissing on his knees. ‘What would you have me sacrifice?’
‘It is your decision. It must be worth your kingdom.’
Ceto shifts beside me. Her breath is quick, she moves and stands before me, a reflex. My father flounders, stuttering, hands flailing in front of his face like an infant. ‘I – I have nothing worth so much, I—’
‘No? Nothing?’
My father looks at me and he knows. He sees it in Poseidon’s gleaming smile and hears it in the wing beats, surely he can hear the wing beats. Surely they all sense the great looming bird and her punitive rider lurking just out of sight.
My mother, suspended in the air above the ocean, still pinned to her throne, shrieks in rage, but she cannot compete with these friends of the Furies. ‘You swore you would not hurt her! You swore it! You swore you would not harm my Andromeda!’
‘And I will not. I have ordered a sacrifice. It is her father’s choice.’
‘The deed will be yours! The blood on your hands!’
He is awful in the blue-black half-light. He looks at his hands, blithely mocking. ‘I assure you my hands shall remain clean. I am no oath breaker. You seek to humiliate me, to manipulate me, to turn those loyal against me, and you shall not. You shall be humbled.”
Then we get this gore fest:
Completely vile and unnecessary, “justice for Cassiopeia” my ass, this book treats her infinitely worse than ancient male writers ever could yet ppl have the audacity to call this book feminist.
Poseidon then goes to Ceto and tells her he’s disappointed in her betrayal and as punishment he will force her eat Andromeda, which is oh so tragic and upsetting and Andromeda is so sad for her worm 🥺 istg how is Andromeda not even angry at that fuckass monster? How does she even love her?
Andromeda is even angry at Cepheus bc he could’ve sacrificed his throne instead of her or something (as if Poseidon would ever accept that) and she even spits at him as he ties her up. So why is she not angry at that fuckass monster for betraying her? I was promised female rage and strong character development but Andromeda is still the spineless doormat she was at the beginning of the story.
This entire mess is Ceto’s fault yet I’m expected to feel bad for her? I was right to call her a fuckass monster even before reading this book bc that’s what she is. That’s ok tho, the GOAT has finally arrived and saved the day!
“And a man lands before me. His tunic is dirty but his sandals are bright gold with enormous wings. He is staggeringly handsome, broad and golden haired. He stands, looking down at me, with the head of the Gorgon in his hands and the pieces of my lover at his feet.”
Let’s hope Perseus saves Andromeda from fuckass monster hypnosis too.
Chapter 17
Andromeda tries to off herself.
And Perseus is an idiot, istg even a misogynist like Hesiod would guess that Andromeda is mourning for the monster yet Perseus can’t even realize the fucking obvious? My goat has been lobotomized chat. No one tells him the full story of wtf just happened and they quickly arrange a wedding for the two and Andromeda just quietly goes with the flow bc she’s a pathetic doormat that has all her “character development” flushed down the toilet bc another terrible character died.
This book had the golden opportunity of a lifetime to have Perseus comfort Andromeda over Cassiopeia’s death yet they do this… but noooo that would’ve gave him depth! That would’ve made him smart and emotionally mature! That would’ve made him an actual character! But no his only characterization is that he’s horny for Nadromeda and also stupid. Cassiopeia doesn’t even get a funeral ppl just forgot and moved on from her yet I’m supposed to believe this book gave her just?
Later in the chapter Andromeda even thinks “At least he loves his mother.” 😐 really?
Chapter 18
Perseus and Andromeda arrive on Seriphos and all that, the bards start singing praises and this is the big bad wrong version of the story that they made up bc they wanna hide the truth!
Several chapters ago, Ceto says she had no control over how she’s remembered and Andromeda feels upset about that yet when she has the opportunity to set things right and tell ppl the truth she doesn’t, sure she can’t tell ppl that she and Ceto were lovers but she can certainly tell them that Ceto was forced to eat Andromeda against her will, that would’ve made for a more dramatic story than anything. Again, the Andromeda in this book is pathetic, spineless and (pretends to be shocked) voiceless. She had the opportunity to at least sway how ppl remember Ceto yet she doesn’t take it.
Also Perseus would NEVER call Poseidon a brute lmao I don’t think I need to explain why that is.
Also, also the Kraken and Pegasus thing were things that were added to the Perseus mythos much MUCH later, it wasn’t something ppl in antiquity wrote about, the Kraken thing is especially stupid bc that’s from an entirely different culture and mythology.
Chapter 19
Margins this margins that you didn’t add shit to the story so stop waxing poetic about it. So Andromeda has a second wedding in Seriphos, at least Danaë is nice (Clymene not so much) ppl see that she’s sad but think she’s just being modest bc if they’re all as dense as Perseus.
The bards sing some more songs, Perseus really likes the story of Acrisius and the box for some reason and it doesn’t make sense, even Danaë was kinda weirded out… anyway the celebrations continue until the newly weds go to their wedding bed.
Content warning: graphic rape scene
So Andromeda is raped by Perseus… and it’s needlessly graphic… as you can clearly see, she’s visibly uncomfortable and scared yet Perseus doesn’t care, golden retriever my ass. But it’s ok guys she’ll learn to love him later bc he loves his mom!
They go to Larissa and Andromeda gets ptsd from everything she sees lol
I don’t understand what’s the point of including Acrisius’s death, I feel like McLeod only added this here bc it’s something that happened in the mythology without even bothering to have Andromeda actually doing anything there, in most sources Andromeda stays in Argos with Danaë (and Cyclopes, more on that later) so it feels unnecessary to have them join Perseus in looking for Acrisius. It would’ve been way better to have Danaë and Andromeda spend some time together in Argos and getting to know each other, perhaps Danaë herself can tell Andromeda her backstory rather than have some bard sing about it in an earlier chapter, there’s no reason for them to be in Larissa. Then when Perseus returns and is utterly heartbroken over killing Acrisius, Andromeda sees him vulnerable for the first time and starts to care for him more,
Anyways, the whole exchange of kingdoms between Megapenthes and Perseus happens off screen and they live in Tiryns now.
Danaë is kinda a nice generic boy mom in this book, when Andromeda didn’t have a child for a weirdly long time, Perseus complained to Danaë and he was being really gross and sexist about Andromeda’s body but Danaë keeps reassuring him that Andromeda is fine. Andromeda meanwhile goes to bathe in a spring in the forest every night she gets her period. Perseus wanted to cut down the forest to make their palace bigger, Andromeda isn’t too happy about this but keeps her mouth shut bc she’s a depressed doormat.
Then she meets a cyclops and steals Perseus’s nachos lol
Ok first off, what Andromeda is doing here is basically slavery, these Cyclopes women would lose their home if they didn’t do what Andromeda asks of them, meanwhile in mythology, Perseus has some Seriphian Cyclopes join him on their trip to Argos and they build up his cities’ walls. We don’t know why the Cyclopes helped Perseus but considering they all lived in Seriphos then they must have been friends and they joined Perseus bc they wanted to help their bro out. Second of all its really dumb to act like the Cyclopes are some oppressed race hated and feared by humans, in fact, how the fuck did ppl centuries later know the city walls was built up by Cyclopes if it was supposed to be a secret? And why are the male and female Cyclopes treated like different species? This book is poorly thought out lol
Also Perseus would never be weirded out by Cyclopes bc he was the actual one to befriend them, not Andromeda. Also yeah the Cyclopes name is Autocthe, I don’t really care.
Chapter 21
Andromeda basically develops Stockholm syndrome for Perseus and it’s just…. Not portrayed as a bad thing. Also she’s pregnant now and this would’ve been a cute moment if the baby wasn’t conceived through rape.
Andromeda has what I assume is pregnancy psychosis and she has nightmares of every worse case scenario, then Perses is born. It’s really cute and all he’s a rascal of a toddler but is super sweet with his mom, his first word is ‘no’ and I had to pause and do a quick search and apparently there wasn’t actually a word for ‘no’ in Ancient Greek. Someone pls confirm.
Andromeda gets pregnant again and we’re told she brought women from all over the world (they’re slaves but the book doesn’t say it explicitly lol) and it’s so fucking funny how Andromeda says she “loved women” really? Then why was it so hard for her to love them in Aethiopia? Wasn’t she so weird that Ethiopian women were weirded out by her? Was every single Ethiopian woman there a mean girl? Yet women from other parts of the world are just fine? Does McLeod have any idea how racist this looks? Not to mention that it seems that Andromeda can only make female friends if she forces them to do something, again retelling Andromeda is pathetic, I know I sound like a Brocken record but that’s what she is.
Anyway, Andromeda gets a vision of Artemis and sneaks away into the forest to give birth in the spring water, the Cyclopes women help her and if this was some sort of divine feminine moment.
They ruined the naming of Gorgophone, why should I be surprised? lol The way the mythology was very unsubtle over why she was given that name:
Pausanias, Description of Greece 2. 21. 7 :
"In Argos, by the side of this monument of the Gorgon, is the grave of Gorgophone (Gorgon-kilIer), the daughter of Perseus. As soon as you hear the name you can understand the reason why it was given her.”
Everything this book touches it ruins.
Chapter 22
Andromeda has 7 children (none of them are named except Perses and Gorgophone how lovely) she teaches them how to talk to birds and connect to nature and such bc of their “naiad blood” and Perseus is such a good dad you guys pls forget that his children only exist bc he raped their mother! Anyways Perses finds a mushroom and goes to tell his father it smells like water, Perseus takes this as a sign to name the city Mycenae. Andromeda’s relationship with her children is so rushed and that becomes more infuriating to me bc Ceto and Andromeda spent waaaayyyyy to many chapters bantering at each other and it was so slow that this rushed pace for the characters who do actually matter to Andromeda… it’s frustrating.
Perseus and Andromeda have a really cringe sex scene and Andromeda goes on about how she’s so lucky that he became a better person after having kids and he was only a monster for some time but it’s ok bc he got better :/
Then we get this, Perseus cheating… Andromeda is really fucking stupid to say she only ‘kept’ servants, does she give them a salary lmaoooo
And how the fuck does she know that Perseus is being honest about him treating his sex slaves well? He most certainly thought he treated her ‘well’ when he raped her at her wedding night??? is Andromeda so stupid to think he truly got better? And omg the Hera slander, if I didn’t know better if think this is rape apologia and patriarchal propaganda.
But you guys don’t get it their relationship got so much better that *gasp* Perseus is asking Andromeda how she feels! Such incredible character development! He notices that she’s sad during spring (ig bc Ceto died then) and he asks her what’s up but she doesn’t tell him anything.
An ambassador will arrive so they can talk about sending sending Perses to Ethiopia, Andromeda is worried bc he’s such a sweet sensitive boy lol ma’am, your son created an entirely new ethnicity that will become a rich and powerful empire centuries later, you don’t achieve that by being meek like you lol
Andromeda mentions that she doesn’t pray much (insane for a queen of this time period) and Perseus insists that she should go pray to Athena to ease her mind, and he’s right it’s crazy that she doesn’t honor the gods nearly as much as she should.
Andromeda goes to Mycenae with Perseus and apparently takes Medusa’s head without his knowledge, but it isn’t explained why or how she got it, the book never focuses on important details.
Athena and Andromeda finally meet and boy I’m just as disappointed as Athena lol
The fact Athena straight up deflects Andromeda’s accusation on not protecting Medusa is very telling of how McLeod really has no legs to stand on with her “feminist rewrite” and she realizes this but instead of scrapping the idea she keeps it there bc she refuses to actually think it through and it results in Athena being stupid too. Also apparently Cassiopeia is suffering and only Andromeda can help:
This conversation must be sooooo deep if you’re stupid lmao, this is such a nothingburger aside from rescuing Cassiopeia from her hellish torture this doesn’t actually add to Andromeda’s character at all and the fact that Athena pulls the ‘but you didn’t ask’ card is even more annoying, but then again Andromeda herself admits she hardly prays to the gods so she reaps what she sows.
But I gotta ask, why did it take so long for Andromeda to learn all this? What’s the point? Did Andromeda go through 10 years of rape and abuse for nothing? Bc I get the feeling that was only added bc McLeod realized “oh yeah she’s supposed to marry Perseus and have some important babies” so she just completely stops the plot to do that bc apparently it’s important that Andromeda gets raped before we go back to rescue Cassiopeia and the fuckass monster.
Chapter 24
You can tell I’m growing tired of this book and want to get this over with.
Autochthe helps Andromeda get to the ocean and Andromeda asks her about the lovers she mentions and the cyclops says yeah we keep that hidden bc homophobia and stuff dooooonttttt careeeee
Andromeda is taken to the “coral kingdom” on Amphitrite’s dolphin (mind you Amphitrite wanted her dead) and she gets an audience with Poseidon…
Don’t you see guys? The story given to us by Ancient Greeks thousands of years ago is actually FALSE they are WRONG about their OWN CULTURE and have no RIGHT to Andromeda’s story! McLeod is here to reclaim what’s rightfully hers and THIS is what REALLY happened. Such arrogance lmao
Calling the nereids “crabs in a bowl” damn the mischaracterization is everywhere…
Chapter 25
I just realized that Delphinus is genderbent in this book too lmaooooo
Amphitrite thanks Andromeda for saving Ceto and imma be honest with you, this book did a terrible job characterizing Amphitrite, it made her so bitchy and mean that the moments where she’s “nice” come out of nowhere rather than giving jerk with a heart of gold. Amphitrite also explains the weird rules about the Ceto’s constellation and it’s giving me a headache lol
The two lovebirds reunite yayyyyy some smut and purple prose later the book ends, in the epilogue Andromeda dies and she joins Ceto and Cassiopeia as constellations, how Cassiopeia isn’t angry at Ceto for throwing her under the bus and getting her tortured I do not know. It’s not gonna be so fun for them when Cepheus and Perseus join that’s for sure.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I don’t have some angry passionate conclusion like I had with “I, Medusa” but don’t be fooled this book is worse, it’s exhausting.
It fails at everything it sets out to do, even “I, Medusa” had a somewhat decent sisterhood theme, this book has fucking nothing going for it. The feminism is bad bc it romanticizes rape and grooming, the romance is bad and fails to make me care for the couple, the characters are bad with most of the female characters being bitchy and most of the male characters being predators, the plot is stupid you can poke so many wholes in it.
I am just… so tired. How ppl like this book I do not know.
Well I can say now surely that I'm to old for fandoms. Watched good omens finale, felt very indifferent just because this story needed a whole season to wrap thing up nicely not an hour long movie. And this is why it was lacking the magic from previous two seasons. It felt too short, too fast, not enough. But at the same time a finish to this story. It's fine for me, it's bittersweet, kinda melancholic, but it worked for what it's worth. And yes, it's sucks that their story ended like that, after centuries of them not admitting their love and spending not that much time together, but they found each other again. That's enough for me.
So I'm to old for fandoms because I didn't expect to come here and see so much shit spilling out of "fans" (not talking about you lot who can like or dislike series endings with respect for others). The fucking irony is that this show is about humanity, about individuals, at the core of it about every connection that brings us together (and the ending solidified it once again). So to see all this shit spilling out of immature fans it's crazy. There will always be someone who takes it too far, but my god why such a big part of this community is rotten. Be sad, grieve but look at it for what it was - a love story with a beautifull representation of what it means to be a human. And a story that didn't need a kiss to solidify it. Don't take it too far, because you all represent your fandom, and hell you are making it look bad.
Really wanted to interact more, but I cannot even see edits of the finale without seeing someone whine about a kiss or a ship burried. Are you fucking for real. Look at the mirror, and think if it's really that important especially in our times when our world is experiencing Armageddon's everyday. Let the show be a escapes from reality and a remindes of what it can be, not another space to be spiteful and angry every fucking day.
Started to write some extra thoughts in the tags but quickly understood that I need to put them here for myself. Another thing. Getting back to my point (well this is a popular opinion, or a fact more.) this didn't work as a movie. What made good omens is the characters, and we cannot get good character arc without much more screen time. The magic of side characters makes good omens a fantastic show. Sad that it had to happen this way.
"When he left Calypso, Odysseus sailed on the calm sea for 17 days, until the sea god Poseidon saw him and yelled at him, causing a storm. Odysseus managed to survive the shipwreck by swimming for two days to Corfu, on whose shores he was found unconscious and naked by Nausakia, the daughter of the mythical king Alcinous. Nausakia took him to the palace of King Alcinous, who built him a new ship, so that he could return to Ithaca. Zeus, at Poseidon’s request, turned this ship into a rock. One of the islands in the bay of Paleokastritsa is perhaps the mythical ship of Odysseus, turned into a rock. Odysseus’ help provoked the wrath of the Olympian gods, which caused Alcinous’ kingdom to fall, as the gods shielded his city and harbour with high mountains."
The more I think about it, the more I believe the divide in the Good Omens fandom right now is a philosophical one.
We’re asking, where does the soul live?
For those who think that who we are is shaped by a life time of experiences. That we grow and change with each each heartbreak and trauma. We see the ending as something horrible. We’re witnessing the death of our beloved characters and we are grieving for them.
For those who believe in a soul, who believe that Asa and Anthony are Aziraphale and Crowley because of the something intrinsic that lives inside them, what they’re seeing is a rebirth and a second chance. In that sense the ending is beautiful. They both get exactly what they’ve always wanted. To live as humans without the pressure of heaven and hell. In that sense, the ending is a joyous one.
Sadly these beliefs are deeply held, often the roots begin as far back as our childhoods. No amount of screaming at each other about media analysis is going to change anyone’s mind. Please just accept that there are multiple ways that one can view the ending and that those who are upset are experiencing grief. This is an extremely normal and valid reaction to end of something so meaningful and should be treated with care.
That said, your grief is not an excuse to lash out and those who don’t deserve it.
Maybe the reason so many people are upset with the good omens finale is due to our own fear of mortality?
I mean, Crowley and Aziraphale finally got to be together without heaven and hell stepping on their heels all the time. They finally bought that cottage, got married and enjoyed the rest of their mortal life in each other's company. That's exactly what so many fans wanted, just without the mortal part.
Do we think it's because the idea of death is just so tragic to us? The idea of them one day dying, just sounds so tragic, when that is the end all of us will one day see.
And I truly understand that fear. However, I think this ending was actually a good one. In fact, immortality to me sounds so much more scary than dying after living a fulfilling life with the one you love. I think this ending was truly ideal. The idea of going to heaven or hell has been eliminated from the world.
The whole system was broken and needed to be destroyed and rebuilt. I think that too is very symbolic.
One of my most disliked tropes in Greek myth-based fiction: the myths you know are actually a lie made up by the jerkass gods/patriarchy/whomever. Not because it doesn't have the potential to be interesting (I do find it somewhat intriguing in theory), but because more often than not it's just a lazy excuse to write an original story while taking advantage of the popularity of Greek myth. And I also, you know, actually like Greek mythology so when I pick up a book on the subject I'd like it to be about Greek mythology.
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