you ever be watching The Godfather and you’re like WOW that kitty is so happy and such a good actor i wonder if it was someone’s cat on set or what…
sobbing. shitting. puking
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@niltiak1
you ever be watching The Godfather and you’re like WOW that kitty is so happy and such a good actor i wonder if it was someone’s cat on set or what…
sobbing. shitting. puking
this should have been me
Things that leveled me up as a Dyke Pt. 2
When I had dyke sex in the parking lot of the fire and brimstone church I grew up in
When a girl drew protective sigils on my arm for weeks after she overheard me tearing apart her old roommate for saying transphobic shit about her
When the sleep study doctor told me I have a medically large tongue and my wife shouted "I KNEW IT"
When the butch at the hardware store told me the shelf cutting machine broke and we spent 20min cutting shelves with bolt cutters for my wife's closet.
At the RenFaire, my wife tried the knife throwing but couldn't get it, then got huffy when I told her how to do it. She handed me the last knife and told me it's not that easy. I did not tell her I threw knives a lot as a kid, so with all her bags and jewelry balanced in one arm, I flipped the knife a couple times and sunk it into the wooden target guy. Felt like a damn hallmark movie and I loved it.
When an Aussie woman in a hotel lobby asked me to please please keep talking because she was fascinated by my american southern accent. I called her darlin and she blushed.
When my wife's grandfather was fine with her being a lesbian largely because I was such a big help with the cattle
When I moved an iron bedframe into the garden for my wife's coworker and she asked how long we'd been together. The answer was that morning. We'd been going steady for about an hour.
When I taught my wife how to waltz
this is precious and lovely and you inspire me to create more wonderful dyke moments in the world
the far side (in 3D)
i'm sorry but i can't let this allegation stand. i composed this scene and made this lumpy man with my own two hands...and many cubes...
A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.
His response: "No, it's my name now."
I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.
Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.
King shit! I need someone to steal my deadname(s)
I want to tell a story to the artists and would-be artists out there.
When I was 19, I made a large oil painting of the nerd I would eventually marry. I poured all my attention and care into this painting. It's the only art I have from back then that still holds up as a work I'm proud of today.
I entered it into a judged show at the local art center. It got an honorable mention. I went to see the show with my beloved model. One of the judges came up to talk to me, and highlighted that all the judges really liked the painting. It would have placed, except, you see, the feet were incorrect. They were too wide and short, and if I just studied a bit more anatomy-
I called over my future wife, and asked her to take off her shoe. Being already very used to humoring me, she did. The judge looked at her very short, very wide little foot. Exactly as I'd lovingly rendered it. I would never edit her appearance in any way.
The judge looked me in the eye, and to his credit, he really looked like he meant it when he said "Oh I'm so sorry."
Anyways the moral of the story is that all of those anatomy books that teach you proportions are either showing you averages, or a very specific idea of an idealized body. Actual bodies are much more varied than that.
So don't forget to draw from observation, and remember that humans aren't mass produced mannequins. Delight in our variation. Because it's supposed to be there.
honestly I hate “can you pet the dog?!?” not for any of the common reasons but because it was initially interesting as a proposition of “can you interact with the world in a way that is not within the primary mechanical loop” and that very quickly fell away to being “well now any indie developer making a game has to have a pet the dog button or they’re going to get letters”
One of my dream projects has an NPC with a dog, and if you try to pet it, the owner tells you not to do that. If you try again, it bites you and you take damage. I want to do this entirely because I genuinely believe that this would make me feel way more grounded in the world than any “click button to see cute animation” would ever do, and also it would be really funny to have a game where people lose their runs because they tried to pet a dog they were told not to pet
Hey bro would you do me a platonic solid
Sorry, best I can do is a great icosahedron.
Bro. That's. That's a platonic solid, bro.
does this look platonic to you?
Nah, that shape fucks.
Find me any other website with interactions like these
trying to spell necessary like
MY FAVORITE MNEMONIC DEVICE IS THE ONE I USE TO REMEMBER THIS.
Necessary - a shirt has one Collar and two Sleeves.
I'll have y'all know that my favorite figure skater's parents told her that to get a dog she'd have to do well at the Olympics and she went and won the frickin Olympics when she was 15💀
Her: I want a dog
Her mom and dad: Yeah sweetie, do well at the Olympics and we'll see
Alina Zagitova: Ok
DID SHE GET THAT WELL DESERVED DOG SHE WANTED
Idk if her parents got her one, but the fucking president of Japan gave one to her when he found out that she wanted one
This teen to her parents every single day: ‘Bye, I’m off to walk my presidentially ordained victory dog!
ON THE SHOW "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS," THE KRABBY PATTIES THE TITULAR SPONGEBOB MAKES PROFESSIONALLY ARE, PER THE SERIES CREATOR, VEGETARIAN. THIS IS BECAUSE NICKELODEON HAD RULES FOR THE SPONGEBOB PRODUCTION TEAM AGAINST DEPICTING FISH AS FOOD FOR OTHER FISH. SOMETIMES THEY BROKE THIS RULE
SOMETIMES THEY BROKE THIS RULE
Working at the mattress store generally means a lot of long shifts. Ten hour days are not uncommon. You come in, sit alone in a box for a long time, maybe sell a bed, it’s fine. It’s not usually an issue of safety, though, because who’s coming in to shakedown a mattress store? We have no cash and nothing really portable.
But there was one night where I was whiling away my time and a guy came in. He was a big guy, muscular and very punk, tattoos, piercings, the works. We got along fabulously and while helping him a middle aged white couple came in. I was pleased to have a livelier night than I’d anticipated. I bounced back and forth between the disparate parties, eventually finding beds for both.
I finished sooner with the couple but they lingered uneasily by the front of the store instead of leaving and eventually beckoned me over. I trotted along to ask if everything was okay and the woman whispered to me that they were scared to leave me alone with the guy. It was getting late and he appeared quite menacing to them. I wanted to laugh, he was an absolute sweetheart, but instead I assured them that all was well and they could go.
They departed and I immediately told the guy what they’d said. We both had a hearty laugh over it. He finished his purchase and went on his way.
In the last hour, I had my final customer. A young white man in immaculate clothes, button down shirt with freshly shined shoes. Reader, I wanted to bolt. The man had the discordant energy of a cracked bell. Something was deeply wrong with his vibes despite his polished exterior.
I gritted my teeth and greeted him, projecting a friendly and unconcerned air. It seemed clear pretty quickly that he wasn’t actually that interested in getting a bed, which alarmed me even more. I tried to go through the process of fitting him but instead he would segue off into telling me about his life while making unblinking eye contact. He asked probing questions about me. I desperately wished the nice punk man was still present.
I soldiered onward, visualizing my panic button and refusing to show the slightest hint of unease to him. Eventually he told me that he played piano. He asked if I would like to see a video of him playing piano. I said okay. He then turned his phone over and showed me his screen. In it, he sat staring directly into the camera while playing piano. Above the screen he stared with the same intensely unhinged energy in the video, two sets of serial killer eyes fixed on my tiniest reaction.
I smiled politely, pinned in place by social niceties. After an eon the video finally ended. It was clear he was not going to buy a bed. I insisted that I needed to lock up. He asked if he could stay for that. I firmly informed him he needed to leave for that. With reluctance he drifted out the door as I radiated calm assurance of my own safety and power, locking the door behind him. I turned out the lights and crouched behind the desk in the darkened store, peeking out to watch.
He sat in his car for a long time. But eventually he drove away. I darted out to my car and got home as quick as I could.
The encounter remains one of the most unsettling I’ve ever had in retail, and the worst part is I’m certain that concerned couple wouldn’t have batted an eye to leave me alone with that nicely dressed young man.
I really cannot emphasize enough the mental health benefits of abandoning the idea that you're special.
This goes both ways, both "You don't have to do everything singlehanded" and "You're not uniquely awful."
What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle
you've taught me to count blessings I didn't know were mine