You Think You’re Not Cringe? You’re On Tumblr Hon @noblenighttime - Tumblr Blog

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Whenever I’m reading MCU fanfiction and I come across a mention of Tony Stark’s death, there’s always a moment of my brain just going ‘huh?’ Because after Endgame my mind just immediately went

#MCU #Tony Stark #Endgame #Ironman #Team Ironman #Avengers

cozy-stardust

Imagine Grace defined his name as the elegance definition of grace and Rocky spends years thinking how fucking ironic this clumsy leaky space blobs name is.

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

And Rocky has to suddenly reconcile that the clumsy leaky blob that saved his life twice, that almost certainly doomed himself to come back for him, name is Mercy.

knightsickness

there’s absolutely something to be said about ‘booktok’ books being largely wattpad quality written erotica i’m certainly not reading them however having seen a guy on tiktok make a video like ‘all the women in your life are READING PORN’ about a book he picked up and read in his FEMALE FRIEND’S HOUSE in a tone of scandalised horror and disgust i actually don’t think men should be making those criticisms. he said he picked it up expecting a romance and was horrified it was GOONER SHIT he said specifically like ‘who are you getting your pussy wet FOR??’ in a tone of revulsion. idk man im not sure shes the weird one. i kind of wish you were dead

darlingofdots

"a lot of books that are successful on booktok are not very good" and "people can read what they want and we need to stop being so fucking weird about women enjoying erotica" are both correct statements

exaltedrevenge

borzoibabe

did you know?

- the menu at a restaurant is not an ingredient list you can use to create new dishes we could hypothetically make for you instead of the choices on the menu

- we do not have omelets on the menu because we do not make or serve omelets

- yes, i know we have eggs on the menu, but we still do not have omelets.

- yes, i realize omelets are eggs, but not all eggs are omelets, and the eggs we serve are not omelets.

- you cannot out-logic me so that i cave in and ring in an omelet for you. i am better at arguing than you are.

- there are no omelets here. there have not been, and will not be, omelets here. if you want an omelet you will need to go somewhere else.

- i can also promise that you do not want an omelet cooked by line cooks who have not been trained how to make omelets. because we don't sell omelets.

- no, i am not going to single-handedly put service on pause for the next twenty minutes while three cooks google how to make an omelet and then proceed to fuck up multiple omelets that our kitchen is not set up to prepare, so you can have an omelet.

-and we both know you'd bitch if it takes longer than six minutes to come out anyway.

- no, you may not just go back into the kitchen and make yourself an omelet. the line cooks do not take kindly to trespassing. also, what the hell.

- i hear that you want an omelet. that does not change the fact that we do not offer omelets. if you want to eat an omelet, you will need to go to another restaurant that does have omelets on the menu. this is not negotiable.

- i am the manager.

- yeah, alright, go fuck yourself too, bob.

cheeseanonioncrisps

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

cheeseanonioncrisps

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

cheeseanonioncrisps

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

vadergf

I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead

rudolphsboyfriend

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

bisexualalexmercer

tumblr may have censored porn but check this out

i hope Elon musk KILLS himself and DIES a thousand DEATHS. and i hope every other billionaire a very merry DIE DIE DEATH KILL MURDER DEATH KILL

the-trash-eating-llama

fforsythiaaa

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

hypokeimena

#'this is present in the text' is often a good first step #but those second and third ones (naming it; describing its function) are vital (via @elucubrare)

tedcruzisthezodiackiller

f-a-b-l-e

Do you ever think about how canonically there was a camera rolling in the cockpit during the entire Taumoeba Fishing scene, and the footage might've made it onto the Beatles. The people on Earth might've seen it, seen how close it was. "The sky is just slightly on fire." The alarms starting to blare. Rocky screaming in horror as Grace almost dies retrieving the collector. The moment the fuel starts migrating. Grace losing consciousness. Rocky risking everything just to save him. I am going to SCREAM can you imagine watching that and it being real???? Watching with baited breath, knowing it was all okay in the end but not knowing yet how scary it was for them, how dangerous, how it even happened. How much it hurt. I'm gonna be sick.

lutheban

Rocky, once again, being baffled and STRESSED about human biology and the things his human does to keep healthy i dont think mr "my whole crew died of radiation sickness" likes the fact that his alien and most things on his planet needs it for survival very much xD previous

bulkhummus

favorite trope is rocky not realizing graces glasses like. Actually do something

dreadwife

every day i wonder how that paper passed peer review and this is the only explanation i can come up with

pineplapple

IT WAS FUCKING TACOS

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

rika-mortis

Life is beach

weirdvintage

An early 20th century postcard against the coercion of motherhood and promoting the usage of contraception.

tr-p-antoninvs-pivs

She is going to hit that Christian baby for a home run.

pets-fun-house

the crime the criminal

charlesoberonn

Objection!

Your honor. It's true that a first glance at the evidence would suggest my client was responsible. But let's look a little further, shall we?

I have here a reverse image search for the crime scene as well as my client's photo.

And if you look closely at the results...

The blogs and dates don't match.

My client has been framed!

And why? Because their iconic "mischievous smile" makes for a funnier post, of course. But nothing, not even Tumblr notes, is more important than the truth!

I present to you: The original unaltered post and the true culprit!