Andulka
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almost home
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dirt enthusiast
Love Begins
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oozey mess
we're not kids anymore.
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
styofa doing anything
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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cherry valley forever
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@nova-medical
s e n d h e l p
me, trying to go to sleep before 2am when i need to wake up and study around 8/8:30am: đ©đŽ
me + my anxiety forcing me to make anki cards on pathoma way past my fucking bedtime: đ€Ą SIKE, BITCH đ©
me, tomorrow morning after consistently getting < 6 hours of sleep: đđ€đ€Źđđ
âYou are not the doctor.â
Last night I had the first call shift that honestly made me want to quit residency.
(Warning: Very frustrated and burnt-out rant below the cut.Â
Disclaimer: I have the utmost respect for dental health professionals and honestly feel that this specific experience was a one-off with a bad apple.)
Keep reading
I feel you so, so much. All of it. I am really sorry.
Some days I feel like medical school and residency have ruined me. Iâm not the same person I was six years ago. Some of that is for the better, but a lot is for the worse. Iâm not sure if itâs some intrinsic defect inside of me or a side effect of our high intensity training, but I have a hard time concentrating and doing one thing at a time. Even at leisure. A few weeks ago I had my second year meeting with my program director. It was a casual meeting that we all have, just touching base us to go over our reviews, talk about how second year is going, assess our mental health, and to talk about any potential areas for program improvement that we see. The one thing I canât really shake about this meeting is, when asked about what my hobbies were, I was just⊠crickets.Â
Iâm not really sure when this happened. I had a lot of hobbies growing up. I played baseball and soccer. I ran cross-country and track. I sketched a ton. I read like a fiend. I played video games regularly. I wrote short stories. I loved movies and had a couple of television shows that I watched regularly. The list goes on and on. But now⊠I basically work and sleep. The time I have outside of those two tasks, which definitely varies depending on whether Iâm on the wards or on a consult service, I just spend kind of existing. I donât actually DO anything except for waste time on the internet. Iâve tried multiple times to get back into some of my old hobbies, but I find these things no longer hold my attention. I try to watch television. I try to watch movies. I get bored and start distracting myself with other tasks while âwatching. And again we come back to the hard time I have with concentration unless 50-million things are happening simultaneously.Â
Oh man, I know exactly how you feel. In fact, my roommate and I were talking about this within the last month. Even when I think about it, I canât really name the hobbies I used to do. There were a few things: Doodling, writing, singing/mixing⊠but like, Iâm sure I did more than that? Iâm not even sure anymore. Med school/residency has beat them out of my life. Even if I tried, I just donât feel like drawing or writing; I donât even know how to anymore.Â
Even when there is time, itâs just easier to sit there and watch TV. Or like, do the 500 million other real life things that get pushed to the side: dentist appointments, grocery shopping, laundry, etc.. or studyingâŠÂ
Itâs sad, but I also donât have the emergy to do anything about it.Â
Funny this came up on my feed again.
My interview was so awkward because the person kept asking me what my hobbies were.
I donât have any anymore. You canât ask me this.
It was so awkward. Like. I donât do much outside of the hospital except try to catch up on real life things like laundry and cooking and cleaningâŠ.
I think this is part of the despair that leads to burnout or whatever you want to call it. From the start of medical school, we learn that we can study, go to class, sleep a little, and maybe throw in a load of laundry in the dead space between these things. And here I am, in my intern year, and if I did have a second to do anything, I just lay in bed and think about how tired I am. I tried to pick up my knitting on a slower rotation, and I couldnât get into it for nothing. I just scroll the internet looking at everyone elseâs neat little lives and die a little more inside. And my residency is like paradise compared to most. So I also feel guilty for being morose.Â
Feeling this a lot lately, this idea that I spend my free time just existing.
One of the new fellows asked me where I go to make friends and Iâm just like âgoâ and âfriends?â I legit donât know anyone in this area who doesnât work at the hospital.
Also, I donât know how to recover from this.
when you get sick, but arenât convinced youâre sick
i started feeling tired about 1-1.5 months before my dedicated study period started. at first i didnât really notice. i was staying up late, getting up early (physically couldnât make myself sleep past 8:30AM, regardless of how late i went to bed) so i didnât really think it was weird that i started napping during the day. gradually the naps got longer and more frequent, and i couldnât stay awake when i was trying to study (cue the constant rewinds of b&b and pathoma). it was frustrating, especially since i knew the time before my exams was growing short. despite this frustration, i still kept falling asleep suddenly and frequently throughout the day (2-3 naps a day, each nap being 1.5-2 hours long). i physically couldnât stay awake, so i adapted the way i studied and decided to just focus on passing my classes instead of studying for step. i didnât really think anything of it, deciding i was just getting burnt out and feeling lazy from studying all the time.
by the time i had finished my second to last exam, i knew i had to do something. i felt woefully unprepared for step because i hadnât actually started studying for it, and by the time i was a few weeks into dedicated i talked to my parents and decided to ask for a leave of absence from my school. got it all together and made an appointment with my primary care physician and my endocrinologist.
surprise, surprise: i had high TSH levels and my endocrinologist prescribed levothyroxine to treat it. i was honestly a bit surprised to get the lab results back because i had kind of thought that what i had been feeling was (1) within my control and that (2) i was just being lazy. to actually be diagnosed with hypothyroidism left me baffled. how, when i have been studying exactly this, was i able to still miss and dismiss the signs? and even now, knowing that the tiredness that i had carried for months was not just me being lazy, is hard for me to accept.
the overall message here is to not ignore your own bodies people! i couldâve saved myself from gaining ~15lbs if i had paid attention. health is wealth and you canât study efficiently if youâre not well!
The most fascinating part to me about studyblr isnât the unique stories and backgrounds each of you have, though that has always been important and amazing. Itâs the futures each of you look forward to: the doctors, the translators, the writers, the teachers â and notice I donât say âaspiring.â You all are here because you aspire, but when you combine that ambition with discipline, your work pays off. You arenât just on a never-ending path of studying, you are on a path to a goal that opens up many more paths. In even so little as 5 years I could be talking to a medblr that is conducting their first surgeries, saving their first lives. In 10, the high school freshmen interested in social work could be keeping kids off of the streets or teaching their favorite subjects to kids just like them. And the greatest part is, because of the people that you are, it wonât just be a could, a what if. It is a will be. I am not only excited for the work you will do, I am excited for the person you are and will be. I am proud of you.
im always DTF
(Dealing with Thoughts of Failure)
Iâm looking for more studyblrs to follow!
Iâm an astrophysics student. Iâm most interested in physics/astronomy/math. I also love books, plants, the beach, and pretty landscapes a lot. And of course I love nice stationery and pens. (These pretty much encompass what my posts are about.)
So reblog this if you are a also studyblr or are also interested in any of those things and I can check your blog out!!
When a drunk girl outside a club bathroom speaks⊠you listen. If she tells you that youâll find love despite being hurt in the past? Sheâs right. If she tells you to stop being so self-aware? Sheâs right. They are the modern day Oracles at Delphi and must be taken at their every word
reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to âviolating one or more of Tumblrâs Community Guidelinesâ, but since my wish came true the first time, Iâm putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, ITâS BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didnât think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT âITS WORTH A TRYâ SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS
holy fuck, I didnât expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever itâs just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASNâT SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.Â
I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDNâT THINK IâD GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND IâM HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHITÂ
SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok Iâve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL ITâS AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
GUYS.
HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER
20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.
GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.
I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.
OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG
i really hope my wish comes true
my last two wishes came true, one more couldnât hurt
SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works
This is AMAZING i wished that I would get into South Korea and I did !!!!!!!!
i wish i can meet andy biersack
gonna wish really hard on this one
Iced coffee was there for me when no one else was
Funny way to find out which plant you might like to buy.
Source: apartmenttherapy.com
FOR MY FOLLOWERS THAT HAVE DIFFICULTY CARING FOR PLANTS AND ASK WHAT THEY SHOULD BUY, THIS IS REALLY GREAT!!Â
Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff
My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk.Â
My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2
My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits.Â
Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.
This could SAVE a life.
dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving
Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissueâŠ) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the docâs.
As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!
listen to ur boobs
its all in the boobs
hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THISÂ ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry
Always reblog!Â
REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!
B
Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you donât have any at all is if youâve had it all removed. If youâve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didnât remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out.
All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and thereâs not enough information about it.
Richard Roundtree, the actor who played Shaft, had breast cancer. He found a lump under his nipple while in the shower. Everyone should do self exams.
http://www.imaginis.com/breast-health-news/shaft-has-breast-cancer-men-can-develop-the-disease-too-dateline-november-9-2000
I finished MS2!!!
I finally finished my second year of med school, and I am so excited and proud of myself.
I really did not think that I would make it this far and I was constantly filled with self doubt and worry. I still have not managed to figure out how to handle stress in a productive way, but thatâs okay. Itâs something I will keep working on.
My next mountain is the USMLE Step 1 but I am hoping to have several months to work on that.
My parents are always reminding me that the first two years of medical school are the hardest and that it will get better after this. And I really hope thatâs true.
girls!!! we gotta fail more often!!! weâre so scared of failure and disappointing people and looking stupid that we donât even TRY things! men?? men brush off failure like itâs nothing! if a man doesnât get a job he wanted, itâs because they didnât review his application fairly! itâs because the competition was tough this year! itâs because he just needs to try harder next time! men just DO things!!! and you know what DOING things builds?? confidence!!! even if you fail!! the more you fail, the more confident you are that you can fail and survive! women donât even wanna try unless they are 100% certain that theyâre qualified and competent and wonât disappoint anybody! but that is NONSENSE. men are out there getting positions theyâre not even qualified for, while over-qualified but less-confident women are staying where itâs safe bc theyâre afraid to rock the boat!!! DO. IT. apply for the thing! ask for the raise! enter the competition! get used to failing ALL the time! fail quickly and move on!!! if a cocky but mediocre man would do it, then for the love of god, GO DO THE DAMN THING. you are SO much more qualified than you think you are.
I LOVE YOU
this post physically cured me
Oh hey I havenât yelled about voting in a while
âare you okayâ by normal people standards? no. by my standards? do you see me crying? no? then yea im good
Medicine. In a nutshell.
