Your URL Hoarding Attention Whore

A blog for me to reblog NPD stuff onto, and more importantly, I just really want this URL.

[npdiyozane]

Intro Post

Hi hi!!! My main is over at @magicalmelancholy-blog1. My pronouns are he/him and I'm an adult. Go read my fanfics right now.

I'm not an Iyozane introject (or plural for that matter), and I'm barely a kinnie, but I love Iyozane so much I decided to make yet another Iyo-themed blog. (The first one by the way is @dailyiyozane).

Of course, because I don't wanna just waste this URL, I'll be reblogging a bunch of NPD-related posts (and Iyozane fanart of course <3). If I ever get the motivation, maybe I'll even write up my reasoning for why I headcanon Iyozane as having NPD.

In general expect a lot of fandomposting (about Len'en in particular but most likely other fandoms too).

I like to shove all my reblogs into queues. Right now, it's at 4 posts a day but if it gets too big I'll make it more.

Reasons I may have blocked you:

You annoyed me

Your vent blog is your main blog (I block vent blogs to avoid making myself upset when scrolling through tags and shit)

You're anti-endo (I'm pro believing people about their own brains. I don't like actually get involved in syscourse though if you're worried about that. I just block people.)

Your default text formatting makes my eyes bleed

Oh yeah here's a page divider I might use sometimes (it's one of the graphics from Iyozane's bomb in Brilliant Pagoda or Haze Castle).

[npdiyozane]

Everyone complains about it being called Narcissistic Personality Disorder but never about the fact they named a type of mental illness "personality disorder" in the first place.

[its-venusite]

I think where many miss the mark on accepting those with stigmatising mental disorders is they're so focused on this idea only morally acceptable people deserve the dignity of their disability being accepted.

Even though I am a narcissist, I have come across other narcissists who I consider bad people that I would not like to be friends with. I am often told I am a "good narcissist" by egotypicals trying to affirm me, especially when I was in the early stages of accepting I have NPD and terrified about being viewed as a bad person. What I found comforting then—being told it's fine I'm a narcissist because I'm a good person—I now wish was being told narcissists who don't fit the egotypical definitions of goodness are still human.

A "bad narcissist" deserves treatment.

A "bad narcissist" deserves access to resources for their mental health.

A "bad narcissist" deserves their humanity.

People love to tell me "I support narcissists!—except the bad ones."

From this, I wonder what their support means. I wonder how much they care about mentally disabled people if they can pick and choose who they want to dignify as disabled and who they want to write off as scum.

Is it any different, I wonder, to misgendering a bad person because they just so happen to be trans? Do they not deserve the dignity of their identity for their actions?

Why is it any different for mental illness?

[threetrollsandadryad]

Not accepting my premise that you are ontologically incapable of anything but the gravest evil is only further evidence for what a selfish bastard you are.

[npdiyozane]

Lowkey having one of the worst times of my life and I'm tempted to check myself into a mental hospital so I can actually have nearby support but I also don't trust psychiatry. Supposedly voluntary holds tend to go better but that's not really the risk you wanna take when you're already considering suicide y'know. And then there's insurance...

[inber]

Say you break your ankle. You could know everything there is to know intellectually about the injury. Even with this vast knowledge, you will still experience physical pain.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

That is to say: you are not a bad, lazy, or selfish person for struggling, even if you know why you are struggling.

[thepolymorphexperience]

Genuinely, thank you so much for this.

[cryptotheism]

Listen I am highly critical of psychology as a science and an industry, but it is usually better than going to see an actual wizard.

[cryptotheism]

Maybe it's just because I live in LA, but I have in fact met people who say shit like "Therapy doesn't work, that's why I pay out of pocket to see the druid."

[npdiyozane]

You know what I guess I have BPD too under the criteria outlined by the DSM. Should've been expected from how suspiciously relatable people with diagnosed BPD are lol.

[siratonin]

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

[siratonin]

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

[thevampirenarc]

Can any other trans folks with NPD relate to feeling conflicted about transitioning because the dysphoria and grandiosity contradict? Like, I will pursue medical transition because I deserve to feel comfortable in my body and have an appearance more in alignment with my identity, BUT I also think the body I have right now is aesthetically perfect in an objective sense. It is a work of art, and I wish I felt more comfortable in this body, or I could give it to someone else. In trying to build upon perfection, I fear I run the risk of ruining it...I can only hope that I perceive my future self as highly as I do now

[npdiyozane]

Used to use that as a cope but the dysphoria ended up overriding "I'm so fucking hot".

[toastyglow]

I have a thing to get to but had to get this out real quick

[toastyglow]

okay back from the thing

-it doesn't actually have to be a negative emotion, I have trouble-causing maladaptive responses to positive ones too

-maladaptive responses usually served the purpose of keeping you safe in a tough situation, or were the only response modeled for you, or both, so they're not Inherently Bad they're just not useful in the context of a healthy relationship

-this is a useful thing to keep in mind if you have a bad track record with relationships and therefore come up against a lot of thoughts like "no one likes the real me/my real feelings" and "I am unloveable". it's not your self or your natural feelings that are the issue, it's the way you've learned to behave in response to them (again, because you had to or you don't know any other way!). which sucks, but the good news is you can unlearn those things and practice new behaviors.

[deltorandagger]

Seems people have a lot of trouble with dealing with those who have narcissistic personality disorder. So here's a nice little quick guide.

Ways to deal with your local problematic narcissist:

Give them money.

Treat them like a person.

Hand over all of your money to them.

Explain to them in detail exactly how cool they are, they'll appreciate it.

Slip em a 20 dollar note.

Remove the phrase "narcissistic abuse" from your whole vocabulary.

Pay them in cash right now.

Punch an ableist on their behalf.

Offer them 50 dollars.

[rslashrats]

"yeah, this random internet stranger? definitely faking a mental illness. how am i the authority on it? well… let’s just say that i browse wikipedia and reddit threads dedicated to witch hunting these people a lot…"

[mewnette]

Louis Wain

I am happy because everyone loves me.

[npdiyozane]

Most annoying thing is someone saying shit like "anxiety/triggers/ect. aren't JUST when you feel uncomfortable" but then don't explain what it's actually like as if everyone has the language to describe their experiences beyond being uncomfortable.

[birlinterrupted]

i dont know why people are like ‘we need to bully people so they are more normal’ when if the internet has been anything its been a series of longitudinal studies showing that prolonged large scale bullying tends to lead people to becoming increasingly weird, paranoid, sometimes off-putting, traumatized, emotionally troubled, ethically disregulated, etc. even unethical modalities like behaviorism don’t focus exclusively or primarily on punishment. like people should literally just be honest and say they want more bullying because they like to do it and have fun hurting other people

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

self sabotage is weird because what do you mean i make myself miserable and i'm aware of it but don't know how to stop.