Heir of Nope

95% random assetry

[froggybangbang]

Have you ever seen a poster and thought.

Wait what.

I just did so i googled

Huh. That seems.... not that far? What about...

Okay. Okay that's... still.... but maybe I'm seeing distances wrong let's try what the poster said

.....

Huh. That's. I'm. Wait what is...

Okay so the international space station is roughly 10 times closer to me than the west coast is that's fine this is fine I'm fine what

[ignescent]

Up is very very near by, it's just hard to get to, because the planet loves us very much and hates to let go.

[mushiemoth]

And with that last reblog — ladies, I think we have another contribution to the “things far too profound to have originated from tumblr” collection

[suppermariobroth]

Illustration of Mario contemplating a collection of offshore oil rigs, from a set of officially licensed 1996 Mario quiz cards.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Small Findings | Source

[lanymme]

(Vinny Mario voice) Luigi, we gotta do it. The world’s dying Luigi, we can’t trust politicians, we can’t trust anybody. We have to take matters into our own hands now.

[discreet45]

[fiztheancient]

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

[jerkstorecalling]

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

[toolusingmammalgirl]

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

[sm1j-deactivated20260310]

“that’s right

we’ll fuck your wife”

[quackatomic]

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

[probertson]

JIMMY AND BABY - Trailer for an upcoming cartoon by me and coolgirlonline

[jeeu]

[home-and-having-tea]

[simpsorama]

[memecucker]

do people actually read books while in the bathtub

how do you not get everything wet

[karnsway-deactivated20190708]

[rosalui]

why is this making me laugh so fucking hard

[tophatfloof-deactivated20170320]

[girlslutz]

THANK YOU FOR ADDING A VISUAL OMG

[glutko]

Sleeping Bulborb #519: AAAAAH!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS ATTACKING ME?!!?!?!

Olimar’s Pikmin:

[danwithouttheplan]

I attack first. I draw my blade and take a swing. You look rather confused. This confusion is justified as we are 40 ft apart in the middle of a showdown.

[yurinullification]

"parry this you filthy casual"

[danwithouttheplan]

wait, yeah, this is rad af

[silver-tongues-blog]

would a rifle with a bayonet be considered a spear gun?

[trapny]

Isekai except the fantasy world is literally just like a ten minute hike away from everything else and has just explicitly never been found.

[trapny]

The protagonist gets hit by a truck but instead of dying they roll down a comically tall hill through like a mile of woods and then they wake up in a fantasy village

[ryanphantom]

undertale

[felixcolgrave]

Old stop motion test

Test results: inconclusive

[b0tster]

how would ps1 controller be from devil may cry when it was never on the ps1

ive been defeated

[best-blurst-of-times]

[ironbite4]

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

[thedarkbutbeige]

[spaceshipoftheseus]

there’s a timeskip

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!

IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH

AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because

THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING

AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA

BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM

HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

[randomslasher]

[mayfriend-archive]

#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick

yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.

i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.

[mayfriend-archive]

[bleutempete]

2014 so far

January: Selfie Olympics

February: Flappy Bird

lets see how the rest of the year goes

[kawaiiibatman]

March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio

[bleutempete]

[the-internet-addict-deactivated]

April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone

[genssodos]

May:

[gagsy-kiryuin-deactivated201412]

June:

[argentsunshine]

July:

[bruhsona-deactivated20181124]

August:

[phampants]

September

[pajamboree]

October

[shygaladriel]

November

[energeticnerd-deactivated201704]

December

[respectfulmemes]

[mentalkillness]

I feel like a mom on facebook reblogging this but I genuinely like it. I want to make this into a full size poster and put it in my 3rd grade classroom but I’m 20 yrs old and not a teacher

[robin-the-robo]

[tazaryoot]

[kirbyddd]

[felixcolgrave]

Waterfowl, 2021