last seven minutes before I leave this world, mainly dedicated to the boyfriend that never got to be my boyfriend. xx Ramiz Mirza
สณแตแตโฑโฟ หขสทโฑแถ แต หฃ สณแตแตสธ แตโฑสณแถปแต
https://archiveofourown.org/works/82475516
๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐๐ง ๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐ฎ: ๐๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ฎ ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ช๐ฉ๐๐จ ๐ค๐ ๐จ๐ช๐ง๐ซ๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐ค๐๐๐ฃ, ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ.๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐๐ง ๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐ฎ: ๐๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ฎ ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ช๐ฉ๐๐จ ๐ค๐ ๐จ๐ช๐ง๐ซ๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐ค๐๐๐ฃ, ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ.
๐/๐ฃ; ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง๐จ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข๐๐ก๐ง ๐๐๐. ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐'๐จ ๐ ๐จ๐๐ค๐ง๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐จ ๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐, ๐จ๐ค ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฌ๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ค๐ฃ๐. ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฎ ๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐!
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
. ๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐
Ramiz Rafi Mirza loved his Robin, his Birdie, for it was that he was sure of; Robin wasnโt just his friend, nor a lover. He was Ramyโs rooh, his zut, his priyojon.*
If the world were to fall apart, heโd spend his seven minutes remembering his familyโ his mumma, his baba, his bhaiya, and three bhenies*, his Robin.
When Letty shot Ramy, his eyes blurred, his vision nearly gone. It had been crazy to think that this could all be reversed with the bar of silver lying in his back pocket.
A simple addition to the Urdu gramatica, it had been one of the first ever made. A simple trick to keep away from the faults of this cruel world.
Nazar, meaning vision, yet equally translating to the way one may pray of evil upon a person, coming from nazario, in Spanish. Evenly referring to the French word, vision, meaning a presence, or better yet, a sight made.
The word pair kept away bad luck, and at times, restored terrible sights such as the bullet in his body.
His eyes had given up; he could see his most cherished memories, his baba teaching him how to make Phulgopi diye Koi*.
The day had been sunny, yet humid due to the bay. His baba had been fishing, taking his brother and himself along on the familyโs green painted rowboat, โMirzaโsโ written on the boatโs sides in both Bangla and English. Ramy had written both.
They caught a ten-inch-long Koi Mach*. His brother was the one who cooked the fish, and Ramy prepared the cauliflower and spices. Paying heed to his fatherโs words.
Heโd remember the first time he narrated his own poem to Birdie, it was one heโd written himself;
เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ เฆเงเฆฌเฆจ เฆคเงเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ, เฆคเงเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ เฆฆเงเฆเฆ เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆฐเฅค
เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ เฆเฆคเงเฆฎเฆพ เฆคเงเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ, เฆเฆฟเฆจเงเฆคเง เฆคเงเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ เฆเฆญเงเฆฐเฆคเฆฎ เฆญเฆฏเฆผ เฆ
เฆฌเฆถเงเฆฏเฆ เฆธเงเฆ เฆเฆฟเฆจเฆฟเฆธเฆเงเฆฒเง เฆฏเฆพ เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆเง เฆเฆฌเฆ เฆถเงเฆงเงเฆฎเฆพเฆคเงเฆฐ เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆเง เฆเงเฆฎเงเฆฐ เฆฎเฆงเงเฆฏเง เฆฌเงเฆฏเฆฅเฆฟเฆค เฆเฆฐเงเฅค
เฆเฆฎเฆฐเฆพ เฆฏเฆเฆจ เฆฆเงเฆเฆพ เฆเฆฐเงเฆเฆฟ, เฆธเงเฆ เฆฆเฆฟเฆจเง เฆเฆฎเฆฟ เฆซเฆพเฆจเฆพ-เฆเฆฐ เฆเฆจเฆจเงเฆฆ เฆ
เฆจเงเฆญเฆฌ เฆเฆฐเงเฆเฆฟ, เฆคเฆฌเงเฆ เฆคเงเฆฎเฆฟ เฆเฆเฆจเฆ เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ เฆชเงเฆฐเฆคเฆฟ เฆธเฆจเงเฆฆเงเฆน เฆฐเฆพเฆเงเฅค
เฆเงเฆฌเฆจ เฆคเงเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ, เฆฎเงเฆคเงเฆฏเง เฆเฆฎเฆพเฆฐเฅค
เฆเฆฎเฆฟ เฆเฆเฆจเฆ เฆคเงเฆฎเฆพเฆฐ เฆนเฆฌ เฆจเฆพ, เฆคเฆฌเง เฆเฆฎเฆฟ... ...
My life is yours, your sorrow is mine.
My soul belongs to you, but your deepest frights must be the very things that trouble I and only I in sleep.
I committed the delight of fanaa* the day we met, yet you still doubt me.
Life is yours, death is mine.
You shall never be mine, yet the world shall be yours.
Birdie didnโt understand a word, thank god, but Ramyโ poor Ramy knew everything. Ramy knew the tint of golden brown in his otherwise jet black hair that drifted him apart from his mum. Ramy saw the glint in his eyes. A chestnut brown that could only be shown in the forests of his home.
Ramy always wondered, did Robin ever look at him that way, in a way that melts the body off his soul, showing each other their truths, truths, and feelings, and now moments pressed in an emotional amber that Ramy hadn't have ever had the courage to show to anybody else, for the longest time ever.
The moon loved the sun, birds came to trees, and Robin Swift had entrapped Ramiz Mirzaโฆ All facts of nature itself.
One fateful night that Ramy would be sure of even after he met the Day of Resurrection*, was the night after Robin killed his father. Robin and Ramy sat outside, on the dock of the ship, telling the shipโs captain that the two of them would look after the journey, as the prospect of sleep was the very terror haunting the two young men.
Theyโd spent that night reveling in the deepest, darkest, most intimate parts of themselves. Ramy would constantly admit the desire to taste Robinโs lips on his own, their bodies fitting into each other's perfectlyโ a fit combating the very divination that was from the works of the Indian poet Lal Ded*.
Robin poured out the secrets that haunted his heart.
Ramyโs head still echoed with the memory of his Birdie.
Ramiz knew he was lying on the floor of the Hermes society, yet he also knew that the thoughts that would accompany him to death and beyond were all of the ones surrounding his hazel-haired unofficial lover.
*Rooh, zut, and priyojon mean soul/soulmate in the languages Urdu/Arabic, Kashmiri, and Bangla. Respectively.
*Bhaiya and Bhenies refer to elder brother and younger sisters.
*Phulgopi diye Koi; Phulgopi diye Koi is a traditional Bengali fish curry prepared with koi maachh (climbing perch) and cauliflower (phulgopi).
*Fanaa is an Arabic word referring to the kind of love that destroys.
* Day of Resurrection is a central doctrine in Islam, referring to the final day when all human beings will be raised from the dead and held accountable for their deeds.
*Lal Ded was a saint-poet, famous for her works of devotion.
๐ฒ ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐น๐ธ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ป๐ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ถ๐ ๐ธ๐๐ท, ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ญ-๐น๐ช๐ฒ๐ป ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ. ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฒ'๐ถ ๐ช ๐ท๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ๐ป; ๐พ๐ป๐ญ๐พ, ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐ฒ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ด๐ช๐ผ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฒ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ช๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐๐ ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ
๐๐, ๐ท๐พ๐ป.
๐ช๐ต๐ผ๐ธ, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ (๐ฒ ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐น๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ) ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฌ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ผ. ๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ธ๐๐ท ๐ฒ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ.
vaporwave
blakekathryn
stormborns
