nzpenguin

creature of chaos. mistress of mischief. embodiment of shenanigans

[teathattast]

[vexwerewolf]

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

[vexwerewolf]

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

[vexwerewolf]

Nah I'm safe it wouldn't happen twice

[vexwerewolf]

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

[lesser-robot-cat]

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

[i-like-reblog-maps]

[violet-morrison]

My dyslexic self misread that and thought you were firing everyone with ADHD. I guess I would be the goon who misses out on the perfect employment opportunity in this scenario.

[vexwerewolf]

Which is a damn shame because that's gotta be the most on-brand personal statement I've ever seen in this line of work

[officerhaughtstuff]

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

[heterokatedison]

is it too early or can we start screaming now

[heterokatedison]

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

[jorolle]

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[importantcatpics]

[drtanner]

The whole photo is gold but I especially like that the automated feeder is taped to the fucking floor.

[ministarfruit]

I love this text post so I drew it

[analogdelight]

wait, you're telling me some "boys" didn't grow up feeling like a lesbian trapped in the wrong body? i thought that was normal!

[analogdelight]

get peer reviewed, because fucking. yeah.

[analogdelight]

hey. hey bestie. i have some pronouns over here you might like, come with me. you can leave that "he/they" over there, you don't need it anymore.

[analogdelight]

GIRL THE EGG COLUMN IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. YOU DO NOT NEED CONVINCING YOU NEED CONVICTION.

LOOKING FOR REASONS IS REASON ENOUGH. BE A GIRL TODAY RIGHT NOW

[the-haiku-bot]

LOOKING FOR REASONS

IS REASON ENOUGH. BE A

GIRL TODAY RIGHT NOW

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[onlinebeast]

DOWNLOADING MILK …

1% …

2% …

DOWNLOAD COMPLETE .

[queen-sammie]

The T in LGBTQ stands for "This content has been removed for violating Tumblr's community guidelines."

[transbian-stoner]

For anyone wondering

Yes I got terminated for this

[zillanovikov]

every year I post this meme and every year people get more mad at me than they did the previous year

[worldbuilding-tomfoolery]

This is the least mad they'll be at you every year for the rest of your life 💖

[swarnpert]

*right clicks on you*

[swarnpert]

*views your properties*

[gummiehell]

[birdplushie]

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

[magn-animously]

DIG

[14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

DIG

[buriedunderyourmum]

DIG

[hannisconfused]

DIG

[kitsunesakii]

DIG

[yourlocalfandomfriendo]

DIG

[apple-notplural]

DIG

[vivitur-moritur]

DIG

[spacecat24-7]

DIG

[chub-froggy]

DIG

[thatghostthateatspeople]

DIG

[krowbreaker]

DIG

[spid-the-spider]

DIG

[annabelle--cane]

DIG

[yellow-faerie]

DIG

[vampiraptor]

[philosopherking1887]

OOPS TOO DEEP

[leodoodling]

posted without context

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[leodoodling]

posted without context

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[itsapmseymour]

Waking up from a weird ass dream like, “what the honk did I just shoo?”

[wilwheaton]

[draconym]

Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.

The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--

(paper towel roll falls on my face)

Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.

[draconym]

Me, 3am: But am I even deserving of love

The Steve Irwin That Lives In My Brain: Crikey, get a look at this art teacher! These are so important to the local area, right, because they create habitat for heaps of vulnerable critters like juvenile nerds, goths, and furries. I love finding these because they often have these great ornamentations that they can use to identify one another. Take a look at the piercings and tattoos, here. Absolutely gorgeous! Let's let this one get back to sleep.

[sweetmeats24]

Bunny in a boot