✧･ﾟ:*☾･ﾟ:*✧

twenties. chicago. don't take this to heart.

[pastabot]

me: *pulling apart a orange*

the little monkey man in my head: *hopping around smashing shit out of excitement*

[tothechaos]

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

[gotylocks]

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

[woodwool]

worst part of being an adult is how often youre forced to nag. you Have to be annoying or youre never getting anything done. which is unfortunate considering how common it is to teach kids to never nag and be annoying ever

[bewbin]

Benjamin Franklin originally wanted the American bird to be the turkey but instead it turned out to be the bald eagle which is ironic because now bald Americans fly to Turkey to get their bald fixed which is crazy cuz turkey is a flightless bird

[woodwool]

worst part of being an adult is how often youre forced to nag. you Have to be annoying or youre never getting anything done. which is unfortunate considering how common it is to teach kids to never nag and be annoying ever

[achillesinhighheels]

It’s a tony soprano summer

[godisafujoshi]

What this means

[uncensoredhijabii]

[chelsamander]

[drawnsnake]

Uncaring

[cipheramnesia]

"I literally don't care. I just wanna live." like really unlocked something in me. About house centipedes, about bugs, about me.

[triangleguy]

[theblackparadeisdead]

The amount of extremely surprised reactions im getting from my coworkers over how good my mural is is making me realize they had no faith in my ability to do this well

[theblackparadeisdead]

WE FUCKIN WITH MY BIG FISH?

[tastylemonbread]

daddy wants to see yall on yall baddest behavior. lend me some sugar. I AM your neighbor.

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[bungerc0re]

does anyone have orc kendrick and elf drake

[bungerc0re]

[shanebug]

heated rivalry au where everything is exactly the same except shane is a fairy

[weaselknievel]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[segamascott]

what if it was called american happy story

[segamascott]