older and cringer

☼ adult, they/them, european ☼ same @ on bluesky (nsfw) (jayvik) ☼ CaptainKidneys on AO3 ☼ icon by @hillergoodspeed ☼ org posts tag #mywords

[huariqueje]

Kalorama , Mt. Dandenong - Grietje Postma

Dutch , b. 1961 -

Woodcut , 36 x 35.5 cm.

[elliespectacular]

Happy 24-6-01!

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[charlataninred]

There’s something that makes me go insane and it’s the image of someone cradling a dead body tenderly. They’re already gone but you still try to comfort them. They’re already gone but while the warmth in their body still remains you can pretend. They’re already gone and you were too late but still you hold them like your kindness can bring them back.

[valtsv]

6', 36' with the tail of the great serpent that forms the lower half of my body

[valtsv]

first photo on my dating profile is a head and shoulders shot of me smiling at the beach and the next eight are just an unending column of smooth iridescent scales

[valtsv]

keep swiping soldier you're nearly halfway there

[frontmansdefender]

RIP to the legend

[silvermoon424]

This goose fucking rocks and had a crazy life!

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.

[nocturnal-stims]

Flexible feather armor

🪽 Miscreations_us on IG

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[thehmn]

It has come to my attention that it’s not a common “belief” in most countries that the weather on your birthday is indicative of how good or bad you’ve been all year.

When I say belief I don’t actually mean that people in Denmark truly believe it. It’s more like a funny thing you can say like “The sun is shining so I’ve been good” or “Its not my fault its raining. Must be all the other people who have their birthday today”

As someone who was born in December I’ve apparently never been good a day in my life according to the weather while people who were born in late summer are apparently angels walking the earth.

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

Ok so the majority of Irish people are doomed

[billymayslesbian]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

[torchichate]

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

[zmpl]

it’s funny how we’re getting to the point in the AI lifespan where you can feel the desperation from tech companies to have you use their AI features. instagram has moved their AI effects to the top of the menu when you’re creating a post for your story, exactly where the draw/edit button used to be. gmail is creating one-click AI-generated replies right before you open up the text box. spotify put a beta AI playlist generator on the front page that looks just like a search bar so all of their users accidentally click on it when they go to search for a song.

tech companies are shaking in their boots trying to prove to shareholders that their investment in AI is worth it, to the point where they’re tricking their users into using the AI features even for a split second in order to fudge the numbers. like awww is your little environment-destroying toy not wielding the results you hoped for? so sad!

[demonicae]

I wish all gen AI a very: fuck off and die.

[dreadwedge]

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

[dreadwedge]

mature content

[chimaerakitten]

So the banner ad didn’t scale down for the mobile browser and it took me multiple minutes to realize that this stock photo of people in business suits was not, in fact, an illustration of what oathbreaker paladins in service to an evil power are supposed to look like

[hortensius-deactivated20240909]

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable

[crunchymayo]

Lord, grant me the strength to throw away this box that i'll never use, the courage to throw away this box that i'll never use, and the wisdom to throw away this box that i'll never use

[screenshotsofdespair]

[naamahdarling]

That has to be the most humiliating way to describe one of Earth's most terrifyingly effective predators.

[sapphic-and-stupid]

Picture of her from the USA Today

[teaboot]

I would let her kill me for sport

[vaelus-malewife]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]