captain’s log

vero • she/her • 20s

[oh-capt]

indigestion is a bitch

[dogpuppy]

[espressobuns]

I can’t believe Captain America: The Winter Soldier blatantly ripped off Pokémon The First Movie.

[thewinterclown]

Accidents will happen. HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA’s New World Order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your life, a zero sum! CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014) Dir. Joe & Anthony Russo

[superstarsisi]

i don’t ask for much but i might start

[whitager]

you have to read to your kids you have to read with your kids you have to read in front of your kids you have to take your kids to the library you have to talk about books with your kids you have to let your kids read books that are a little difficult or scary you have to teach your kids to love reading

[pmamtraveller]

UNHELD — Lina Poluna, 2026, Oil on canvas

[loveridden1999]

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

[loveridden1999]

i think abt this a lot

[tall]

[imjunebitch]

[wildspringday]

rb with your major/degree, your sign and your favorite season

[charl0ttan]

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

[justthatspiffy]

oh amen @obesecamels

[vintagesaltbackup]

Gremlins (1984)

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

What they don’t tell you about getting into bird watching is that once you get into it, you do not get to decide when you bird watch. You can be on the beach of some distant tropical country with nothing planned except relaxing. But then you see a Common Fluttering Nut Buster and you’re like fuckkkkkkkk holy shit guys the Common Fluttering Nut Buster is not supposed to live this far west holy shitttttttttt

[caniscryptid]

Madison County, Montana, 1939

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[bopbyers]

she rata on my touille till i squeak

[nahimoffthis-deactivated2018091]

It makes no sense how Apple Slices is way more fire than eating an apple reg deg. It’s the same shit.