me, myself, and I @okaywhydoessheevenhavethatlever - Tumblr Blog

charlottelucas-deactivated20180

Headcanon: Professor McGonagall has a muggle wife she never mentions to the students, because they never ask.

Four years after Harry’s left Hogwarts he visits McGonagall’s home to talk her out of retirement, and the door is opened by a woman he doesn’t recognise. Confused, he introduces himself and asks to see McGonagall. The woman recognises the name and invites him in, saying Minerva will be home soon. She then talks a mile a minute, but not about the war - about the stories she’s heard about the golden trio from their head of house. About how Harry stood up to Umbridge, and how clever Hermione was, and how Ron had been able to beat her chess game, and how PROUD Minerva was of them all.

By the time McGonagall does arrive, Harry and her wife are chatting like old friends. Minvera’s wife calls her things like “Darling” and “Pumpkin.” Harry cannot believe his ears.

Harry is invited to tea every Wednesday from then on. He always looks forward to it.

sleepy-loopin

but lets be real here, even with the “darling”s and “pumpkin”s Harry still wouldn’t catch on and he’d go home and tell Ginny all about McGonagall’s lovely gal-pal and Ginny would have to be like “babe…that was her wife”

charlottelucas-deactivated20180

You’re right, fuck! How could I forget how deeply unobservant Harry is?!

thestraggletag

“Harry, they’re lesbians.”

vikingfighter-deactivated201909

If Stuntmen from the old movies don’t have your full respect then I just don’t know what to say to you

working--on--excellence

l tried really hard not to reblog this

nescientes

Yeah, it is indeed really hard not to reblog a fucking thing.

spaceman-v-spiff-deactivated201

Can we all agree that the man in the first gif is the manliest man in the world?

jolivet-deactivated20190306

Are we just going to all silently acknowledge that the last guy is clearly dead and that we just saw him die.

antoinetriplett-deactivated2015

HOLD UP FOR A SECOND

ALL OF THESE GIFS ARE ONE MAN

THE SINGULAR BUSTER KEATON

WHILE FILMING THE GENERAL

HE SNAPPED HIS NECK ON THE RAILROAD TIES AND WENT HOME AND ICED HIS BODY

AND CAME BACK FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY

HE ONCE GOT HIS HIP RIPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET BY A MALFUNCTIONING ELEVATOR AND WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH HIMSELF FOR BEING INJURED

HE ONCE HAD TO FALL 100 FEET DOWN A WATERFALL INTO A NET

A STUNTMAN TESTED IT AND BROKE BOTH LEGS AND DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER

BUSTER DID THE STUNT ANYWAY AND LANDED WITHOUT A SCRATCH

IN ‘THE HIGH DIVE’

BUSTER DID A TRICK DIVE THROUGH A CARDBOARD DECK THAT WAS CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE THE REAL DECK

ONLY HE COULDN’T TELL FROM 100 FEET UP WHERE THE CARDBOARD STOPPED AND THE REAL DECK STARTED AND THERE WAS ONLY LIKE A THREE FOOT MARGIN FOR ERROR

AND WHEN HE HESITATED A SUDDEN BREEZE LITERALLY KNOCKED HIM OFF THE DIVING BOARD AND HE HAD TO JUMP ANYWAY

AND HE MISSED THE REAL DECK BY LESS THAN A FOOT BUT HE MADE IT

IN THE SECOND GIF HE’S RECREATING SOMETHING THAT THE ACTUAL GENERAL PURSUERS HAD TO DO IN THE CIVIL WAR

IF HE MISSES THAT TIE

THE TRAIN WILL BE DERAILED AND HE WILL DIE IN THE EXPLOSION

IN THE THIRD GIF AN ENTIRE HOUSE IS FALLING HE HAS ONE TAKE AND IF HE HAS NOT DONE THE CALCULATIONS CORRECTLY HE WILL BE CRUSHED

HE HAS AN INCH-WIDE MARGIN ON EACH SIDE

AND THE HOUSE LITERALLY BRUSHES HIS LEFT SHOULDER ON THE WAY DOWN

YOU CAN SEE HIS LEFT ARM JUMP BECAUSE HE’S FLINCHING FROM THE PAIN

THAT LAST GIF

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT JUMP

HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL AND THEY HADNT PLANNED FOR IT

BUT HE SURVIVED

BUSTER KEATON SURVIVED 100% OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED LESSER MEN INCLUDING WWI, TORNADOS, HOUSEFIRES, ALCOHOLISM, BROKEN NETS, CRUSHING DEPRESSION, THE DEPRESSION ITSELF, THE MCCARTHY WITCHHUNTS, THE END OF SILENT CINEMA, AND ABOUT 900 MORE OF THE STUNTS YOU SEE ABOVE

BUSTER LIVED TO BE 70 YEARS OLD

FATHERED LIKE FOUR KIDS AND EIGHT GRANDKIDS

HE CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF ALL THAT

THINKING THAT LIFE WAS GOOD AND PEOPLE WERE WONDERFUL

BUSTER KEATON IS NOT JUST A STUNTMAN

HE IS A GODDAMN SAINT

lodatik

BUSTER KEATON’S PARENTS WERE PART OF A TRAVELING SHOW.

THEY WERE ACROBATS.

THEY TOOK BABY BUSTER UP HIGH IN THE AIR WITH THEM.

THEY DROPPED HIM.

LUCKILY SOMEONE WHO WAS STANDING UNDER THEM CAUGHT BABY BUSTER.

THAT MAN WAS HARRY HOUDINI.

HARRY HOUDINI SAVED BUSTER KEATON’S LIFE.

if you don’t think that’s the coolest shit you can get right out.

ccchildish-deactivated20170818

he was blessed by houdini oh my god

fandomhaze

This whole thing is so rad.

cracktheglasses

@jillandjackalope

kidkitthekingslayer

The fact that nobody is talking about Secret’s new commercials pisses me off

softwhorecore-deactivated201812

This makes me so happy ☺️

iamhannalashay

Yesssss😭 I damn near cried

jaxuhmillion

I LOVE THIS OMFG

taylorzrealm

YOOOOOOOOOOO THATS AMAZING!!!!!

saiasus

trufflebootybuttercream-deactiv

Can someone help me understand I wanna cry to ..I feel something went over my head

writingsandwonders

The woman in the bathroom is trans and is scared that if she comes out of the stall the women that walked in will insult or harass her. but when she comes out they compliment her on her dress instead. The add ends with saying “stress tested for women.” It means Secret is including trans women in their definition of women.

viragon

I have reblogged this three times now, each one mentioning the fact that Secret not only included a trans woman, but that they /had the other women compliment her dress and treat her with respect/. I will reblog this every time I see it because it’s so important. More companies should involve trans people in their marketing - we do exist. Props to Secret for getting in on this movement. It makes me really happy to see more of the trans community represented in daily television.

pokemon-professor-grey-deactiva

Reblog the shit out of this

yetanothertaylor

We need more positive things like this!

notyrqueer

Okay but I did cry

sighdumbb

shavingryansprivates-deactivate

holy shit

josukekun-deactivated20130906

JESUS

tramampoline

omg

itsvondell-deactivated20180104

transhumanisticpanspermia

it’s back

arcticsirius

wat

mage-of-time

I have yet to witness something as fucked up as this

ttrust-no-one

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

ellanah

Jesus Christ ????

virginalbrides

i’m done goodbye

spooky030

This some @sixpenceee shit

jamiesshelves

Things I'm happy they changed for the Harry Potter movies/added

I always see posts about what we wish was in the movies/they didn’t change, and there are SO MANY THINGS THAT FIT THAT LIST. But honestly the movies did a great job and stayed pretty true to the books. SO, here’s a post to point out the great things the movies did! Please add on and let’s celebrate the movies that brought these amazing books to life!

Adding the word Potter to… “Scared Potter?” “You wish.”

Showing us what Neville forgot was to wear his robes

Bellatrix torturing Hermione by carving the word mudblood into her arm

Barty Crouch Jr. licking his lips (good job David)

Amos Diggory’s reaction to his son dying

“Look at it this way: every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than we are now – students. If they can do it, why not us?”

In the OotP when they’re in the Hog’s Head a goat walks by… Aberforth owns the Hog’s Head/is the barman

Slughorn’s story about Lily and the fish

Voldemort hugging Draco

Showing Lupin and Tonks reaching for each other and just not touching. It killed me, but I loved it.

Continually having Seamus blow up things through out the movies

“I’ve always wanted to use that spell!”

Showing them just being kids and having fun! PoA scene where the boys eat the candy and make the animal noises

youthbookreview

“The spiders… They want me to tap dance! I don’t wanna tap dance!”

“You tell those spiders, Ron!”

The shrunken heads in PoA

Burning The Burrow in HBP (I know people had issues with it but I actually liked it. It was a good way of visually representing how Voldemort and the Death Eaters effected people’s lives on a very personal scale)

Neville giving Harry the gillyweed on GoF - it makes more sense for Dobby to have been able to get it like in the books, but in the film it made Neville more involved and also added another clue to ‘Moody’s’ real identity

All of Filch’s screen time. He’s hilarious

The little glimpses we got of what Draco was up to in HBP. It gave us a slightly wider perspective than just Harry’s POV which made it more interesting, without revealing what he was actually doing

That muggle girl flirting with Harry at the beginning of HBP, showing he still has a life outside of fighting Voldemort and he’s still just a teenage boy

‘Who’d wanna be taught by me? I’m a nutter, remember?’ ‘You can’t be worse than old toad face.’ ‘Thanks, Ron.’ ‘I’m here for you, mate.’

‘Hermione’s got nice skin.’ ‘I think I’ll be going to sleep now.’

imaginarycircus

thedoctorisadhd

ah yes. today, july 4th, the birthday of

thedoctorisadhd

koko the gorilla!

(koko’s full name was actually hanabiko, which means “fireworks child”, which is a reference to her birthday: the fourth of july!)

koko is a gorilla who knows a modified form of american sign language (and can understand spoken english as well) and uses it to communicate with her teacher and caregiver, francine “penny” patterson, and in 1984 she asked for a cat for her birthday! she was allowed to choose a kitten from an abandoned litter — she chose a tiny gray manx kitty and named him all ball. he was taken to see her in the evenings, and then later he would visit on his own. she treated him like the other gorillas treated their babies, and tolerated his biting without any aggression. here’s her and her beloved ball:

later all ball escaped from the zoo and got run over by a car, sadly. koko was very sad about it, but later in 1985 she got two new manx kittens, lipstick and smoky! here’s her playing with lipstick:

and here’s her with smoky!

in 2015 for her birthday, koko picked out two more kittens and named them miss black and miss grey!

koko turns 46 today! she also understands object displacement, has passed the mirror test, has relayed personal memories, can talk about language, has used language deceptively, has used false statements humorously, and has invented new signs to talk about things she doesn’t know the sign for (for example she didn’t know the sign for ring, but combined the signs for “finger” and “bracelet” to convey the same meaning)! these are all things that show a more developed degree of understanding than is usually associated with primates that aren’t humans.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOKO!!

houseofjonn

impatient14

Golden Girls was more progressive decades ago than half of America now.

bob-belcher

tastefullyoffensive

(via itgetsbedder / tomotomotomomo)

bastillebananas

No selfie will ever be this cute tho

raptorific

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

mousathe14

bigpastapete-deactivated2018060

[From Max Landis’ amazing “American Alien” series about Superman.] SO GOOD

detective-birdy

SCREAM 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 TO 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 BACK 👏🏻 SO EVERYONE 👏🏻 CAN 👏🏻 HEAR

logisticbumm

His shit eating grin in the last one sells it

reformed-roark

I love the idea of Clark Kent turning up to every office Halloween party in an ill-fitting Superman costume from Target.

joshscorcher

Still one of my favorite clips from Superman: The Animated Series.

fidgetelftree

This has gotten bigger since I last saw it ant that’s FANTASTIC

thebaconsandwichofregret

Henry Cavill literally once stood in Time Square, in a superman t-shirt, under a giant poster of himself and no one recognised him, even though he was actively trying to be recognised.

advanced-procrastination

I’ve never seen this post but it just became my favorite post on the internet

mercy-angel-09

Wanna know the kicker?

In the first chapter of JLA’s “Divided We Fall Arc” both Clark and Bruce reveal their civilian identities to the rest of the League. This is post “Tower of Babel” where nobody but Clark still trusts Batman, and in order to start building trust again, Clark urges Bruce to unmask himself to the rest of the team because Bruce obviously knows who everyone else is. Bruce agrees on one condition, Clark has to “unmask” himself as well.

When the big reveal goes down, Kyle Rayner says it best re: Clark being Superman: “He doesn’t…wear a mask. I never even…thought he had a…day job…”

That’s right, the canon reason why nobody makes the connection between Superman and Clark Kent is because nobody thinks that Superman HAS a civilian identity.

Also, with a really good actor, Clark Kenting is entirely possible, as Christopher Reeve demonstrates in the 1978 Superman film.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

There was actually a story where a scientist at Lexcorp developed a computer program to analyse all available evidence and work out who Superman is

It figured out he was Clark…and Lex fired the scientist for wasting company resources because he COULDN’T BELIEVE that Superman would ever “Pretend” to be human because it would mean pretending to be “Weak”

90% of Superman’s disguise is everyone else doing the work for him

ayellowbirds

the best secret identity of all.

bloodqueenmsk-deactivated201710

source: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/115007729788-Heads-up-for-AT-T-customers

In other words, if you’re using an ATT email for your Tumblr account, you need to go change your email or you will pretty much be…

banned

cameoappearance

Well this sucks but I don’t want it catching people by surprise so signal boost I guess

obstinate-nocturna

what the actual fuck

tzikeh

THIS IS REAL.

IF THIS AFFECTS YOU, GET A GMAIL ACCOUNT OR SOMETHING AND SET IT AS YOUR EMAIL FOR YOUR TUMBLR PREFS RIGHT AWAY. YOU HAVE TODAY, TOMORROW, AND THURSDAY TO DO SO OR YOU LOSE ACCESS TO YOUR TUMBLR.

dogda

fyi the article says it goes into effect friday, june 30, 2017 (in case this gets passed around for longer than it’s relevant)

mermaidpanties

I took my rubber band out of my hair and it formed a perfect treble clef.

chebbienicole

I cannot reblog this enough

mermaidpanties

Why is this still getting notes

theoriginalpurpledogpalace

because a treble clef is at the beginning of every bar so there must be notes to follow

alwaysbewoke

batmansleftwing-deactivated2017

GOOD

kailey-mangoes-deactivated20160

GO GERMANY FOR OWNING UP TO WHAT THEY DID AND TAKING THE STEPS TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN.

silkymaloski-deactivated2017062

first time in forever that i’m proud of my country

ashleyking

I have a friend from Germany who personally admits their fault and apologizes anytime it’s brought up. She’s like yeah, we fucked up. Mind you we’re 21. She personally had nothing to do with it, and still she apologizes.

alwaysbewoke

compare that to white americans who respond with “what about black on black crime?” and “not my fault, i didn’t do anything” and, my personal favorite “shut up nigger…”