hi, my Name is Oona she/her GER/ENG. Here you can find my yt videos, analyzes or a bit of idiocy and simping for Astarion. I love escaping into fantasy characters and i'm in my mid thirties, so don't ask me about the meaning of my life... please.
Content for SpawnAstarion Enjoyers
Rare dialogues, Analysis, Edits and a bit nonsense
Why content only for Spawn enjoyers?
I simply decide
Hello there, i'm a SpawnAstarion Youtuber and I offer you rare dialogues, beautiful edits, funny compilations, analysis and the typical delulu nonsense :D
If you're interested, I’d love for you to stop by, may subscribe. You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok
Intrested in some of my Analysis?:
The Catharsis
How Cazador shaped Astarion
The 'Hero's Journey' with Astarion's story
Astarion and the Image of a Perfect Victim
Don't Call Him Weak
Analyzing the act1 I Love You line
Analysing the LOVE TEST
Interpretation of -The man of your dreams..AA
Astarion and Karlach 1.Romance with Dev Notes
The Mirror Dialogue
I was Pathetic then
Magistrate Astarion
This is not you Astarion. Not really
The Fascination with Evil
My First Edit
Astarion's different reactions - Good and Evil run two years ago :D
Dear Astarion fans!
Can we please take a step back and look at what's been happening in the tags lately?
If you see accounts whose main goal is to harass, target, or encourage dogpiling against other fans, please don't engage with them. Block them and move on.
The fandom exists because people want to celebrate characters they love through art, writing, edits, discussions, and creativity - not to be dragged into endless callout posts, personal vendettas, or manufactured drama.
Lately we've seen posts disguised as "neutral analysis" or "objective discussions" that are, in reality, little more than targeted harassment campaigns against members of the community. Before liking, reblogging, or endorsing that kind of content, please think carefully about what you're actually supporting - and whether that's the kind of community you want to help create.
We've also seen anonymous messages circulating with what are essentially "blacklists" of fans, encouraging people to block or target specific individuals. That is not normal. It crosses a line.
And to the one very persistent little spitz dog who keeps trying to drag the entire fandom into personal conflicts — please stop. Not every disagreement needs to become a fandom-wide crusade. Most people are here because they love Astarion, not because they want to participate in someone else's personal war.
And to the local space troll whose unhealthy obsession with other fans has gone way too far... maybe it's time to chill.
If you know, you know. Seven thousand reasons should be enough.
This is supposed to be a fandom. Whether someone prefers Ascended Astarion, Spawn Astarion, or simply enjoys Baldur's Gate 3 shouldn't be an excuse for harassment, intimidation, or attempts to pit fans against one another.
Disagree with people's interpretations if you want. Discuss the writing. Debate the lore. But do not normalize harassment campaigns, blacklists, or attempts to publicly shame people for enjoying fictional content.
We've already crossed the point where this stopped being "fandom drama." This is becoming targeted harassment, and it has no place in this community.
This path is self-destructive. Building your life around hatred and an unhealthy obsession with other fans will never lead anywhere good.
Let's put the focus back where it belongs: on creativity, friendship, and our shared love for Astarion.
Leave my gremlin alone! Y’all are gonna hate me perchance, lol, but while I appreciate spawn and AA lovers alike I really prefer we appreciate Astarion’s character for what it is. I don’t need all the characters I love to be perfect shining examples of morality, and this guy ain’t. He exhibits trauma responses and patterns that many people live their whole lives with, and no one is saying he can’t change at all. I’ll go ahead and cover: no one is saying he doesn’t love you, that he can’t have some form of fulfilling relationship, etc.—but he ends up a very different character than spawn and I don’t like it when people babygirlify AA for player wish fulfillment.
There are pros and cons to this choice that should stay intact.
I’ve been seeing people talking about creating a more “immersive” ascended Astarion romance mod. One where he won’t force you to become his spawn. One where he won’t say this line to you when he turns you.
I’m sorry but what 😭
I feel like if you want to change his romance lines you don’t respect his characterization much ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but I find people often don’t, I suppose.
To be clear, I’m not trying to dunk on anyone specifically. This is part of a larger trend I see with people insisting that he would never treat their character the way that he acts in the game, and I just don’t like it. Obviously people can head canon whatever they want, but I really struggle with narratives that run counter to the game’s characterization personally so I will be analyzing why these choices are core aspects of the character that I don’t agree with changing because I have autism.
Let me get something out of the way—I find Ascended Astarion to be interesting, from a story telling perspective. He breaks my heart a little, and he makes me mad, haha, but I can absolutely see that it’s still him. He’s still a character I care deeply about. Those parts of him were always there—in some ways, he even resembles act 1 Astarion more than the spawn ending version, in their shared values. I don’t agree with people who say that “nothing of the Astarion we knew survives,” but he is different than spawn. He’s theatrical; he suppresses all vulnerability in favor of demonstrative power seeking and wish fulfillment. He got everything he wanted, and he wants you to know that.
He insists he’s happy with what he made of himself. Sometimes he can even believe that. He’s Not Traumatized, actually, he’s having a great time! In some ways, I believe him. The world yearns to kneel and offer their necks, after all, and he has the power now. But he’s still frightened and in need of reassurance from Tav/Durge, and he’ll never relinquish control to the extent that would allow him to heal fully. It's so obvious, the moment he is threatened in any way.
HAVING SAID THAT. This man absolutely will demand that you tie yourself to him irrevocably. That is who he is. He lives in fear of being abandoned. He’s holding on with his claws and his teeth. Like, congrats you found a loophole that you can go fight the brain directly after completing his quest and not giving his arc closure, I guess, go off—but I’m wholeheartedly opposed to the concept because I find it fundamentally counter to his whole thing and I am a whore for story.
Ascended Astarion needs Tav/Durge desperately, and craves control and certainty to the degree that he cannot abide a relationship where he does not have some degree of Power Over. He simply doesn’t trust you’ll stay unless he holds the leash. Maybe in time he can learn, but I find it doubtful.
Just look at how he treats Karlach, when he realizes he can’t turn her into his spawn.
Without control, he often turns mean and scared. (Which is kind of why people saying ascension is the only way he can be free makes me wheeze—this desperate clawing for control is the opposite of true freedom in my mind, sunlight or no.)
This version of Astarion and my durge Nerys would never work. They had in common that they lived desperately fighting against the chain around their neck, and now he seeks to replace it with his own.*
And that is fine—I can understand that there are different types of characters out there for whom this arrangement would be preferable to losing him, or even a relief. There are so many awful fates one can end up with in the forgotten realms. Surely being kept on a long leash by someone who grants you everlasting life is better than some...(like your soul becoming a brick in Kelemvor’s faithless wall? Good grief. Probably better to be tied to a guy that negs you every once in awhile if you live in luxury, I guess.)
Some characters crave someone to control them, someone to keep them safe (because if you do what he wants, he absolutely does do that, I think. It’s only when you consistently contest his wishes that you see how nasty he can get). I don’t really see how so many boss bitch resist durge and drow baddies end up kneeling for this man—seems kinda counter to the character arc—but I digress 😂 (not all of them as I am about to demonstrate, but certainly seems counter to some of their characterization as presented.)
My point is THERE ARE CHARACTERS FOR WHOM THIS RELATIONSHIP MAKES NARRATIVE SENSE. That’s fine. My embrace durge Ciaran was one such character, in fact. He was used to obeying, and wasn’t particularly threatened by the theatrics. He liked the power play.
unfortunately it didn’t end up particularly well for them when that drive to obey the call of his blood turned out to be stronger than the one tethering him to his lover.
ANYWAY. If you grant Ascended Astarion that control over you and you’re “wonderfully obedient,” he grants you a fairly long leash and plenty of treats! No argument there. As long as he thinks that you will continue to be his beloved pet and never leave him, he’s fairly content with his lot.
If your character is “wonderfully obedient,” I’m not discounting they could be happy! Maybe you failed an insight check. Maybe it’s exactly what you want. There are a lot of reasons a person might like to be controlled. It can feel like caretaking for some. It can help relax a restless mind that is certain they will make all the wrong choices.
If you’re not obedient…good luck. He won’t let you break up with him. Again, perhaps you’re leaning into the dom/sub of it all and you’re okay with that, or maybe you like the angst! Sometimes I do. I have a weakness for AA/spawn Gale, which subsists on the preexisting characteristics of someone who in some ways likes to be used, to worship his partner. I’m not judging you for the relationship dynamics, I just prefer they be rooted in the character and that we don’t pretend this dynamic doesn’t exist!
ANYWAY. As for “own your body, kill your mind,” well. If you succeed the insight check, you find out that he believes you to be degrading yourself if you accept his offer. This makes sense; becoming a spawn degraded him. It’s unsurprising he thinks this way, especially at this point, even if it makes you uncomfortable to hear it. He might be able to see this differently in the future, but he only just got free.
Even if he doesn’t do to you what Cazador did to him (and tbh I don’t think he would ever go that far personally, although the game does seem invested in calling him Cazador 2.0), you are becoming less than an equal to him, and that is absolutely an intentional part of the choice in the text, no question. Many people in real world and fictional relationships make choices like this all the time—prioritizing someone else over themselves, or making sacrifices for love. Stop trying to mod out good storytelling!
Deep down, Ascended Astarion doesn’t have a high opinion of his own self worth, either, and without the healing arc that will be challenging to shift. As it probably should be, for someone who condemned 7,000 souls of spawn just like him to the Hells. By staying with him, bowing for him, you become less than him, and that’s critical to his sense of self. He needs to be more than to feel loved and safe. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, in his way. But it’s the only way he knows how to love, in this version, and let’s not pretend this is an easy breezy uncomplicated kind of love. Or that this man will ever be able to experience the full range of intimacy with a partner. I’d argue that sex largely stays what it was to him in this route—a means to an end. A tool to exercise power over, if an entertaining one.
A means to mutual pleasure, surely, but not the kind of soul baring exercise it can be when the concept of power is stripped away entirely. Compare the spawn romance scene—this is kind of a CORE DIFFERENCE!
(shout out to @adrielmancy for filling in the gaps in my screenshots here—the mvp as usual)
tl;dr I understand the urge to restore cut content, make hugs longer, give players a second romance scene with Minthara….all well and good. But I fundamentally disagree with cutting dialogue you don’t like in ways that drastically change the game’s characterization, and I’d argue that these are pretty significant.
...and ultimately, if you want a sweet kitten?
…He's right there waiting for you. A little less grand, perhaps, but all the stronger for forsaking the path of least resistance and accepting himself as he is. It feels like some people are doing a lot of mental gymnastics to justify avoidance of his “weakness” in the spawn ending. (I could write a whole other post on that concept 😅)
*a side note about my OC, Nerys, and Ascended Astarion
In Nerys’ one and only AU, Nerys refuses to help Astarion ascend. Gale steps in and helps his companion instead—they share that ambition for power, after all—and they separate. Can’t bear to kill him, but can’t bear to see him much, either. Her self destructive tendencies and longing result in them sleeping together a few more times, but it only causes her more heartache.
It’s a ghost wearing her lover’s face, and it’s almost enough to drive her from the Gate all together if it weren’t for Karlach. Eventually she spends longer and longer periods of time away, and it’s possible Astarion’s schemes get him staked by adventurers with more black and white morals while she’s gone. His erratic approach to planning and strategy and his power hunger tell me he probably won’t live forever 💀 at least not without some really powerful allies backing him, but maybe he’ll surprise me.
Another wave of attacks from toxic Ascended Astarion fans that we need to talk about.
@oonalovesastarionssimpleplan created a new blog and made a post that had absolutely nothing to do with those people, the toxic fans, or Ascended Astarion in particular. There isn't a single mention of AA in the tags, either.
The blog is called"ithinkmynameisoona"— a fairly typical blog name. Plenty of people use the "my name is…" format, so there's nothing unusual about it. Yet some people used the blog's name as a pretext to launch personal attacks and, once again, attempt to manipulate anyone who happened to come across the post.
Here's the original post. I'll simply show you the comments someone left underneath it.
The comments quickly gained support, as shown by the sudden spike in likes appearing in almost identical numbers within a short period of time. This makes me wonder whether the author’s post was discussed and shared within certain circles, almost like a bone thrown to the wolves. Another wave of bullying from some AA fans. Moreover, I believe this fake account was created with that purpose in mind.
This fake account, of course, left comments completely unrelated to the topic of the post, lol. Do we really need any more proof after that?
What’s even more ridiculous is that these bullies don’t seem to realize that by dragging the blogger’s name into such situations, they are only damaging their reputation and even creating the impression that the blogger themselves encouraged this kind of behavior and pushed them into bullying.
It’s clear that @mobfromcosmos is attempting to provoke the author rather than engage in a genuine discussion. This is a typical pattern of AA trolling.
This fake account even made a repost (pay attention to the tags) specifically to launch a bullying campaign.
Besides this, the fake account has another post on its profile (again, pay attention to the tags). This is the only thing this account is used for, so its purpose is quite obvious.
This kind of rhetoric, of course, feels very familiar :)
It is also worth noting that they had previously organized an attack on this author's channel. Why? Because the author's vision of Ascended Astarion differed from their own.
Here's the link: https://t.me/master_astarion/1/110607
It’s quite ironic that these tags perfectly describe the exact situation they keep creating over and over again:)
We can and should talk about toxic people. We can and should also address the fact that insulting other people’s interpretations, their Tavs, and forcing your own 'happiest' and 'correct' ending onto everyone else, even placing it above the author’s vision is not acceptable. It is completely fair for people to call out these issues, because this kind of behavior reflects poorly on the fandom.
The amount of hate I get rn just because I focus on the negative side rather than the positive side of Ascended Astarion is unbelievable.
What about the people who actually want to see that?
Who want to talk about toxic relationships?
Who want to see validation for why they consider this ending bad?
What about Spawn fans who want to freely express their thoughts on AA?
Don't they also have a right of a place in the fandom? Just because some people feel offended that some don't like the Evil ending of Astarion - the way you do?
I'm being accused of insulting others with my content, because they have a different opinion, while you're doing exactly that to me right now.
If you don't like me and my content, you're free to block me.
Welcome to my little side blog where I tell the story of my OC Oona and her adventures in Baldur's Gate3.
You will follow her chronologically from waking up on the Nautiloid, for as long as I feel like continuing.
I'll tell my headcanons through photos, little comics or short stories. whatever I feel like to.
Much more this blog is my little side project, where I escape from everyday life and try to show piece by piece the stories in my head. If you like, you're welcome to follow her along and I'm also happy to read your headcanons about the scenes in my comments.
For those who don't know Oona yet, here's a character profile.
Baldur's Herald presents an exclusive interview with Stephen Rooney, the writer behind Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3.In this video, we talke
Interview with Astarion's lead writer Stephen Rooney.
Full Transcript:
Baldur's Herald: Two first questions to warm up. We heard that you left Larian to write a novel. Is that true?
Rooney: No, I did not. I did not leave to write a novel, unfortunately. Although the novel has been written which I'm sure we will get to. But no, unfortunately I didn't get to do that.
Baldur's Herald: Thank you. This is still very interesting. So, the second question to warm up is, are you a vampire?
Rooney: Oh, I'm not technically a vampire, although there's a lot of similar kind of things. I'm very pale. I spend a lot of time just wandering around at night, rarely seen during the daylight hours. So, vampire does fit me very well, I think, kind of as a category. I would probably also accept ghoul or occasionally werewolf, although I don't know if I'm hairy enough.
Baldur's Herald: So technically this is the interview with the vampire.
Rooney: Yeah,[laughter] technically this is an interview with a Vampire.
Baldur's Herald: So the first serious question. Stephen, you earn quite a reputation as a skeleton and vampire specialist. Both ( Astarion and Fane) are very charismatic, interesting, deep characters. Uh and they both happen to be undead. What is about an undead thing? What compels you? Eternal life? Or from the other sides, that they're like rotting.
Rooney: Yeah, there's maybe a fear of death, maybe my rotting, but there is something very interesting about undead characters and each kind of undead comes with its own different challenges. They're often outside of society. They are unusual. They are often out of time and out of place. Like if you have a zombie who comes back after a hundred years or something and doesn't understand the world. And I feel like there's a lot of things that like neurodegivergent people, people who are not quite normal, can relate to with those kinds of characters. And I always find it very interesting to dig into characters who are other or weird or just a bit outside of normal society.
Baldur's Herald: [Singing] You're out of touch. I'm out of time, but I'm out of my hands.
Rooney: [Laughing] Exactly that. Yeah.
Baldur's Herald: And one more question about your writing process. Many actors rely on different frameworks or methods developing characters, while others prefer intuition. What's your kind of writing? How do you write?
Rooney: Uhm, by instinct a lot of the time. I don't have a very good structure or plan when I sit down to write characters or when I sit down to develop characters. Normally, I will have an interesting idea for a character or I'll have just an idea that I would like to explore, and I try to sit down and just write a conversation with that character. with as little thinking as possible because I find when I start thinking about something I think way too much and I just get stuck and I get in my own way. So the best thing you…
Baldur’s Herald: Oh, I understand you on so many levels that I resonate with you. Very very kind. So another question about Astarion. You told in your recent interview that he's a more human type of character. He's not like undead, like a predator. He's not an awful creature from the night and he's not like soulless. He's humane. But no, humanity seems to be a part of your writing a lot. Is it true?
Rooney: Yes. Well, I mean with Astarion, it was very important that he wasn't a monster, that he is still human, still like uh, still capable of love, still capable of vulnerability. But as vampires they are often very human undead compared to say zombies. They're very very charming, they can integrate into society more easily than others. I think finding the human core of any character is very important, because otherwise they feel like a cardboard cutout that you wave around to make a joke or to have a villain or something like that. But it's only when the character starts to react to things like a person would like, feelings and emotions and weaknesses and flaws, that you get characters that are relatable. You get characters that are interesting. So I think that's why humans and the humanity of a character is so important to me. And more so I write the same way I generally peel with a character. I don't write flat characters. I rather write characters that would be not just compelling for someone else but for me as well. And more so I don't write myself into the character but I write something that I can connect with.
Baldur’s Herald: So it's a borderline never self insert.
Rooney: Yes, it's only when I think I look back on characters like I never try to put myself into the character, but I always inevitably do a bit. It's only afterwards when I look at the character I can be like, ah okay this thing is what I brought to Fane, this kind of nervousness and standoffishness. And with Astarion, there is some righteous anger at a sense of being wronged and I'm like, I know where that comes from, that's me.
Baldur’s Herald: When you were working on Astarion, were you inspired by existing Forgotten Realms characters? for example Strahd, the elven vampire protagonist of Christy's Golden's novel, Vampire of the Mists, or others maybe?
Rooney: No, I tried to avoid other characters that existed because I was worried I would just start imitating those characters. Like Strahd was one who was very on my radar. As I had friends who are running a curse of Strahd campaign at the time. So, he is a very traditional kind of vampire lord, very Dracula kind of like, and I just wanted to make sure that Astarion felt different from other vampire characters in the world and that if I ended up touching on the same themes or on the same ideas, it was just the natural thing to come up for a story instead of this is something that all vampires in the forgotten realms kind of go through or suffer.I mean
Baldur’s Herald: I do remember that in one of the quotes that Astarion said - I think if you poke him too much- he says Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit.
Rooney: Yes, that was the one he does mention them.That's the one place I was like, "Okay, I'm going to indulge myself and put a silly little joke in here about Strahd. It made me very happy. It still makes me happy to this day.
Baldur’s Herald: [Laughter] it was adorable. He is adorable.
Rooney: Yeah, but I mean, Neil Newbon is responsible for so much of that. For how adorable and how likable Astarion is. Neil brings a wonderful kind of energy to a Astarion when he's recording the lines
Baldur’s Herald: Maybe he said a few lines himself, or, like wrote them himself a few times? Do you know?
Rooney: Uh no, there were a couple of times where he would slightly tweak a line maybe. but because of the technical process that we had, where I write the line, it goes into the game, he gets the line, he has to record it. If it gives me a different line back, then I have to go back into the game and change it. And that was a little bit awkward. It was something we could do a couple of times but we tried to avoid it as much as we could because it was technically difficult.
Baldur’s Herald: In Baldur's Gate 3 is a growing theme of the influence of dark forces on characters and their subsequent choice of whether to succumb or resist the influence. However, Astarion's story stands out in the climax of his arc. It affects not only him but also his partner if you decide to romance him. If he ascends and you want the romance to continue, the player must also make a choice and become his spawn. Do you think ascend Astarion cannot continue the relationship with the player character without turning them into a spawn?
Rooney: Ascended Astarion is very difficult because he has fundamentally made a choice.
if Astarion chooses to ascend, he has made a selfish choice. He has made a very evil choice and he has decided to continue a lot of the darker themes that are kind of his backstory and in his own story. And so I think it is difficult to imagine having a very healthy and equal relationship on that path. I do not love that path myself. If I was playing the game, I would not choose that. But when I was writing that, I was thinking a lot about partners in toxic relationships and in bad relationships and how the power is very rarely balanced. And I think that is why you end up with him in an imbalanced relationship where he needs to be in charge and you need to be somewhere down there.
Baldur’s Herald: So their relationship with ascended Astarion is pretty much inherently toxic or could he love Tav?
Rooney: I think he thinks that he loves them.
And this is difficult, because what I think when I write the character, is not the same thing as what the player thinks when they are playing the game. And what the player thinks when they are playing the game, is just as valid. Like once I have written and it goes out into the world, my opinion does not matter that much anymore. It is very much kind of if people feel they are able to have a healthy relationship with Astarion if he ascends. I am fine with that. That is okay. Everyone can have their own ideas and their own takes on the game, their own interpretation. just because it is not what I choose means that it is never going to be a bad idea for anyone else to choose that.
Baldur’s Herald: The other question is about the relationship dynamics you had in mind when you wrote. The relationship between Tav and ascended Astarion and how it relates, or maybe, how it's different with spawn ending?
Rooney: Astarion’s backstory is all about relationship and power dynamics that are unequal as I say. So if, and I always see the path with spawn Astarion, as a choice that Astarion makes to break the cycle to choose to have a better relationship with people, a healthier relationship and to not continue kind of what he has been doing before.
The path with ascended Astarion is very much the opposite of that. It is Astarion looking at all the unhealthy relationships he's had in the past and being like ‘I want to be the person on top. I want to be in charge. I want to have the power and then that way I make sure that no one else can ever hurt me again’. which is a choice that a lot of a lot of people make in real life as well. It's not an inherently bad or evil choice, but it's not the one I would want for my relationships, I think.
Baldur’s Herald: So, basically the continuation of the cycle of violence.
Rooney: Yes. Exactly.
Baldur’s Herald: So, one more question about ascended Astarion. The last one about him. A lot of people see the ritual of the dark kiss when he creates you. so you are not just a spawn, but you are his bride. It's from the Ravenloft setting. Is it true or it's this a fan theory that is something not related to the game?
Rooney: The dark kiss thing. It was something, I think, that was there in a conversation that we were having, but it wasn't something I was particularly thinking of at the time.
So uhm, there was another writer that did some writing on those scenes and then I kind of came in, because I was away for a while, and I came in and like rewrote stuff as best as I could. So that was more collaborative. I can't say 100% if that was on their mind or not, but um it is not a direct one to one thing we had.
Baldur’s Herald: So in your recent interviews you told that you developed another ending that didn't get into the game where he cured himself from vampirism using the book of necromancy. Is it true and tell me more please about that, because it's so interesting actually.
Rooney: Oh, this was an idea very early on that I had for Astarion that I would have liked to maybe try and bring through the game, but it didn't work out. And I think it's better that it's not there. But the idea was basically that the necromancy of the book that you get would maybe like unlock a wish spell and then Astarion could use that wish to become mortal or to become kind of to not be a vampire spawn anymore, anyway to try and reclaim his soul a little bit more.
Baldur’s Herald: Uhm, is it his real desire?
Rooney: I don't think so. I don't think it is what he would want.
Having kind of gone the whole way through the game, this was in the very very early days where I didn't understand the character myself very well. I was still figuring him out. Um, but I I think I had the idea that it is kind of a trope with vampires that they want their mortality back or they want their souls back. They don't want to suffer from the hunger. They don't want to suffer from uh being creatures of the night. They want to be able to walk in the sun again. Uhm, but I think if we had gone with that ending, it would have been too happy of an ending kind of in some ways. And like you say, I don't think that is what Astarion is searching for the whole way through the game. So, it doesn't make sense for the story to build on that. So no, but I was very happy with the endings that we did get, that I did end up kind of writing.
Baldur’s Herald: A lot of my friends were like: ‘oh no he will be a vampire forever.’
Rooney: possibly, possibly someday. But I think I like the ending of him still being a vampire spawn and losing his ability to walk in the sun and going back to the person that he was, kind of physically - going back to the person that he was with the restraints that he has all the normal vampire spawn stuff - but personally he has developed so much, he has come so far, he is not the same person even though it feels like he is going back a little bit, but he does not go back…..
Baldur’s Herald: No, no, no, I don't think he goes back.
Rooney: for example… he loses that freedom, but personally he has developed a lot more. So I don't know, I think there is something very bittersweet about that. About actually achieving so much but also feeling like you lose. Because he wins the battle but he also loses some of his freedom. I like that, [Laughter] maybe I'm just a terrible person and I like making my characters suffer.
Baldur’S Herald: I wanted to ask that last question about Vampires the Masquerade because I feel like you've recently mentioned that you played quite a few of it.
Rooney: Yes.
Baldur's Herald: It felt like Astarion is a lot of resemblance to Vampire the Masquerade and they don't usually, almost never, become human again. They can keep humanity but they won't become a human being again. So, about Vampire the Masquerade, what's your favorite clan? [laughter]
Rooney: Oh, no. The last time I played a campaign, I played Nosferatu and just enjoyed being someone that is quite an outsider like this horrible little twisted. So, Noseratu are very traditionally ugly, you know, like in the film of the same name, very kind of ugly vampires. I think they tend to live in sewers and stuff like that or just away from people. Um, and I enjoyed that a lot. I like being a weird little freak, I think when I get to roleplay. Just being someone who is strange and makes everybody else uncomfortable. That was a good time for me.
Baldur’s Herald: And which clan do you think Astarion would be in? because me and Olga did kind of argue about it because I think he's very very close to Toreador, because they are more of a human or they still have more of humanity and more of the theatrical feel to them. but since he's very close to magic and devils maybe Tremere or even Salubri?
Rooney: That's such a good question. I think you are right that he has traits that could slot him into many of the different kind of clans. Uhm, I like to think by the end of the game he is probably more human and I struggle to remember which it's the… Isn't there a clan that is traditionally very beautiful? Kind of the Toreador? Yes. I couldn't quite remember if that was the same, given how vain Astarion is, I think that is the clan he would want to belong to. It would be [laughter] very important to him that he is like, "Oh, I'm obviously in the most beautiful clan." so I think that would be his preference. But as you say, he has a lot going on. He could easily fit in many different categories.
Baldur’s Herald: Thank you, That is it.
Rooney: Thank you so much for having me and to the whole community. It is wonderful that the game is still getting so much love kind of a couple of years after being released and that people are reaching out. I want to share how much i've enjoyed it. So it's thank you very much. This means a lot.
Baldur’s Herald: And we’re very interested in your next works. We will be looking forward to it because I mentioned, you have a wonderful writing style. I always sketch it and I see your writing style in a book and like this is Steven Rooney. His flowy language. I love it.
Rooney: I hope someday I will get around to a novel. That will be great. I will surely let you know when it happens. But thank you.
Baldur’s Herald: Yes, wonderful. Thank you so much. folks. Bye-bye.
Hybristophilia (from the Greek *hybristēs*, "criminal" or "wrongdoer," and *philia*, "love" or "affection"), often referred to colloquially as the "Bonnie and Clyde syndrome," is a specific type of paraphilia describing sexual or romantic attraction to people who have committed serious crimes or are perceived as violent or dangerous.
But I'd like to focus specifically on fictional characters - our hot villains and tragic bad boys. Cause there isn't really a separate term for this kind of attraction, but it shares many parallels with hybristophilia. And I say this from personal experience why is it always the bad boy? And after spending a lot of time researching this topic, I want to share it with you.
There are two forms:
The Passive Type
* Is not involved in the crimes and rarely approves of them outright, but tends to minimize them or look for excuses.
* The attraction may center around the person's perceived strength, dominance, or sense of superiority.
* There is often a desire to truly understand them, to be the only one who sees the "real" person, and ultimately to save or redeem them.
The Active Type
* Is attracted not only to the offender but also to their actions and wants to actively participate in or support those actions in order to feel powerful or dominant themselves.
* Here, too, there's the idea of being the only one who truly understands the person. They also identify with the offender's suffering and want to reclaim power together through violence.
Do you already recognize yourself in one of these descriptions? wonderful, because in the following sections I'll take a closer look at what these forms can mean.
I also want to address the potential danger of hybristophilia, because in more extreme forms it can become harmful. Simply having these fantasies does not automatically mean someone will act on them or has a mental disorder. What's important is whether the fantasies cause significant distress or lead to problematic behavior in real life.
So if you're writing letters to an incarcerated criminal - or covering one - for either of the reasons mentioned above... please don't. Find healthier things to invest your energy in and stay with the fictional ones.
And importantly: don't search for excuses to justify someone hurting you. Your boundaries and your needs matter too. If someone abuses you, kick that bitch to hell.
Having these kinds of fantasies can point toward this inclination, but it certainly doesn't have to. That's where the focus of today's post comes in: knowledge and self-reflection.
And I don't want to approach this topic in a judgmental way. Quite the opposite. I'd like to bring together what I've learned, exchange experiences with others, and encourage self-reflection. Where do you see parallels? Where do you perhaps recognize yourself?
Because in the course of my research, I have mostly come across descriptions that condemn this inclination, since, ofc, hybristophilia can be harmful in extreme cases. But there are a lot of people with harmless fantasies, and I would like to take this opportunity to explain the core of this phenomenon. I also think it is considerably more complex than it is usually portrayed. The motives often stem from deeper reasons and serve several purposes.
So this is not about condemnation or kink-shaming. It's about education, sharing knowledge and gaining insight.
Now, back to the interesting part and our fictional Pookies.
-The Passive Type-
◇ Safe Distance:
In ‘real-life-hybristophilia’ (that's how I call it now) the partner is usually in prison, they actually can't really harm anyone. With fictional characters, the character isn't real. they cannot actually harm you physically or even emotionally.
Plus, you also control the fantasy itself. You decide their 'true' thoughts, the arguments, the reconciliations, and even the violence they've committed and why. The relationship feels emotionally intense without reality interfering.
One important thing to mention is that people with real-life-hybristophilia also idealize and fantasize about the imprisoned. They're not in love with the real person - they're in love with the idea of them.
Fictional characters aren't real, but they invite interpretation. At some point everyone creates their own version of the character, often idealizing traits that differ from the original portrayal.
◇ Attraction to Strength and Dominance:
The character appears decisive, fearless, powerful, strong in some exceptional way.
These traits can be very attractive. Independent of their crimes, they're often associated with protection, confidence, or status.
Usually, their actions are portrayed as understandable or even justified.
Underlying this is usually the desire to be fearless and more self-confident yourself.
This satisfies the desire for protection, for someone who will defend you and stand up for you is one of the longings in this inclination.
◇ Excitement and Novelty:
The human reward system naturally responds to novelty and intense emotions.
A relationship with someone perceived as dangerous may feel more exciting than an ordinary relationship.
This often overlaps with the kidnapping fantasies: someone pulls you out of your dull, unsatisfying life and introduces you to a thrilling new world. I guess it's the core of every fantasy.
◇ The Savior Fantasy:
The feeling of: "Everyone else only sees the monster, but I see the real person who just needs help."
It's the fantasy of healing someone through love and understanding.
This can be especially appealing if you've experienced abuse yourself. The idea of healing together becomes deeply satisfying.
"I'm not a victim alone - we were both victims. Together we are strong and try to leave the past behind."
One’s own trauma is understood and seen, and the need to have someone who stands by you, no matter what happens, is the driving force behind this fantasy. The desire to stand together against the rest of the world and eventually find peace and healing is what makes it so satisfying. The acts of violence are merely a necessary evil for self-defense, cause the legal solutions in the real world fail.
Underlying this is the fear of being abandoned or of not being understood regarding the true needs that arose from the trauma. But this partner feels the same way; they feel understood and can finally heal in a safe space.
Some feel more of an "I know how you feel, I went through the same thing, I will help and be strong for you" sentiment. usually stemming from the fact that they once wished for someone like that themselves. You feel strong because you are being strong for others.
The problem with this form of the real-life-hybristophilia is not only that you are making sacrifices to heal another person - and the hitch that it probably will never really happen; often, not always, the other person's true needs go unrecognized, and the focus is instead on the urge to satisfy your own needs by being the helper and live out this fantasy. In other words, as soon as the person no longer needs help, or doesn't want it, they break the illusion and become uninspiring or compulsively being seen as a poor victim who still needs help.
The other person also gets caught in a vicious cycle: they want help, but only up to the point where they are really challenged. They want understanding and care, but not genuine change. Both are starving, and neither will ever find fulfillment.
"My needs come before yours."
-The Active Type
† Shared Identity:
Some people experience an especially strong bond when they feel they stand - against the rest of the world - together.
Breaking society's rules reinforces this feeling of unity. like with the passive form, but the focus here is the satisfaction of using violence.
"We're both victims. Now we're taking revenge."
The other person becomes the only one who truly understands your anger and pain. Instead of reining someone in, they stoke their anger, encouraging them to unleash it.
Which leads directly into the next point...
† Power and Control:
For some, the violence and suffering itself isn't the main attraction. It's the feeling of superiority, power, control, or rejecting social rules.
There is no judging between good and evil, that's not the point. It's about revenge and dominance. It's about finally feeling in control, frightened, respected.
That may come from a lack of control in real life, combined with a strong desire to finally be in control. In this fantasy, you and your partner finally gain this power, the more the better. The victims become merely a means to an end. Often they're blamed for what happens to justify the violence.
† Desire for Revenge:
Empathizing with the offender's suffering often reflects one's own desire for revenge.
The fantasy becomes:
"I'm finally strong."
"I'm finally someone people fear."
Instead of being afraid, you become the one creating fear. In fantasy it can feel very satisfying.
In some fantasies, they are even more powerful than the partner considered to be dominant at first - ‘not even they posed a threat to me. In the end, I am the one in control. No one can harm me.’
Of course, this risks continuing the cycle of abuse in the end.
Victims become perpetrators, creating new victims who become perpetrators themselves.
Whether that actually brings the hoped-for relief is questionable. You're only "winning" as long as you're playing the game, and as long as you're the stronger one.
For one aspect - a major aspect - of why these relationships are unhealthy or even toxic is - Just like with the passive type - you're often projecting your own fantasy onto someone. You don't see the person as they are, you see your needs fulfilled in them.
You may believe "They would never do that to me, or, we are different.”
But in reality, someone driven by power may simply see you just as useful for their own ego. Your real personality and your real needs aren't what matter.Once again:
"My needs come before yours."
This should never be the case in a good relationship.
† Excitement Through Risk
To quote Study.com: Danger activates physical stress and arousal responses, such as an increased heart rate and adrenaline release. Under certain circumstances, this physiological arousal can become associated with sexual or romantic attraction.
Psychology refers to this as ‘misattribution of arousal’.
Here, too, the kidnapping fantasy appears:
“A powerful, strong person sweeps me away into an exciting world where we rule together.” wonderful.
Perhaps the real world, a real relationship, or the desire for a relationship is the driving force behind this fantasy. Everyday life is boring - perhaps even unpleasant - filled with stress, unfulfilled dreams, and strong, unsatisfied needs.
It is an escape into a better, more beautiful, more peaceful, or more exciting world. I have control over friendships, love, violence and drama. An escape, escapism.
But that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. In some cases, a person is in a stable, structured, and loving relationship in the real world - and wants to keep it that way, loving both their partner and that life. Yet, in their fantasy, they crave the thrill, the danger, and the dominance.
As we can see, the needs behind both forms are remarkably similar - but their motivations differ.
One seeks healing and peace.
The other seeks excitement and power.
Some researchers suggest that insecure attachment styles (such as anxious or disorganized attachment) may contribute to these attractions in some individuals.
That doesn't mean everyone with insecure attachment develops a form of hybristophilia.
It simply means certain relationship patterns can make emotionally unavailable or dangerous partners seem especially attractive.
"I've never felt safe.This person protects me with their strength and dominance. They're only so aggressive because they're a victim too. I'm the only one who understands this. We're both just looking for peace and safety and we'll do whatever it takes to find it."
Again, this isn't meant as judgment, It is simply the emotional core of this fantasy.
The danger, of course, ending up in a real relationship with an actual offender, and becoming not the love of their life, but their next victim.
At the worst, you stay because your empathy and your fantasie, trap you in a cycle where you're repeatedly be the victim.
It's also questionable whether this is genuine love at all. Because the attraction isn't directed toward the real person, including their harmful qualities, but toward the fantasy you've built around them.
Your own emotional needs become more important than seeing the other person's real personality and potential danger.
Likewise, the offender may view your understanding and care as something that feeds their own ego.
"Finally someone understands me. I can't lose them, even if they're suffering because of me."
In both cases, the mindset becomes again:
"My needs come before yours."
this leads me to…
Why fictional characters are so appealing
With fictional characters, several additional factors come into play:
* The consequences of their actions are often softened or aestheticized through writing, visuals, and cinematography.
* We experience their real thoughts, trauma, and motivations directly, making empathy much easier.
* intentional attractive designs, charisma, and humor amplify emotional attraction - writers know how to evoke empathy for a character in you.
* Since there is no real danger, we can enjoy the emotional intensity without facing actual consequences.
And that's an important distinction.
Someone can genuinely find a murderous villain attractive while completely condemning violence in real life.
The fantasy satisfies all of these emotional needs without involving real crime or real suffering.
Why i chose Astarion
This brings me to why I chose Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3 as an example. He embodies both versions of this fantasy remarkably well.
especially the outcome of his endings.
"You can fix him - or make him worse."
For those unfamiliar with Astarion:
He's one of the romanceable companions in Baldur's Gate 3. A vampire who rejects society's rules, manipulates others, and sees violence as the only path to power. At the same time, he is also a victim, having endured two centuries of physical and sexual abuse. During his romance, he opens up to you, makes you the one who truly understands him. His desire for revenge and freedom is the driving force behind his story. You can help him become an even more powerful vampire by sacrificing others or help him kill his abuser and choose a self-determined future.
I'd even go so far as to say that Astarion himself develops one of these two inclinations. The need to be seen, understood, and healed, or to be the only one in power. Perhaps I'll make a separate post about that, if you're intrested.
I've been part of this fandom for years, and I see both forms of this fantasy represented to varying degrees. I notice many parallels but unfortunately, not much self-reflection.
Both forms, the passive and the active clash, and it leads to many many discussions.
That's why I found this topic fascinating to explore and important to think about.
what about you?
Have you heard of hybristophilia before?
or were you aware of these parallels?
Hybristophilia is best understood as an umbrella term covering different motivations and fantasies rather than one clearly defined psychological profile.
These patterns exist on a spectrum.
They can overlap, blend together, or shift over time. They are no proof of a mental illness.
Like many preferences or fantasies, they only become problematic when they cause harm to yourself or others.
A Paraphilie refers to a sexual interest that falls outside typical patterns of attraction. Ans this paraphilias are often viewed negatively.
Yet with the growing popularity of the dark romance genre, these kinds of fantasies have become increasingly visible, reflecting broader cultural interests.
But it's actually a recurring theme in vampire literature, a genre that has existed for centuries.
And it summons perfectly the core of this longing. The misunderstood being - mistaken for a monster. Usually a tragic figure who defies social norms, abducts me and protects me with their strength, yet remains dangerous and mysterious. Boom - I'm in love.
That is precisely why it's important to have safe spaces for exploring these needs in which yu have control. In which one you exchange ideas.
I recognize aspects of these fantasies in myself. And therefore I know they don't mean someone wants to actually commit crimes, or even approves of them in real life. For me even the opposite, violence is a sign of insecurity - the end of good arguments.
Often they're really about the underlying emotional needs:
Feeling powerless.
Wanting protection.
Longing for a more emotionally intense or exciting relationship.
Understanding these fantasies, reflecting on them, and questioning them can help prevent them from developing into unhealthy relationship patterns in real life.
Breaking them down may also reveal what need you actually seek.
And once you recognize that need, you may be able to fulfill it in healthier ways in real life.
Ask yourself:
* Do I feel safe and strong enough?
* Do I feel loved enough?
* Am I stuck in a life that no longer fulfills me?
In therapy, there's a concept called: radical acceptance.
If you can change something about your problem, try to change it. If you can't, learn to accept it.
Fantasies can sometimes serve as one way of meeting unmet emotional needs.
But they can also act as a sign, pointing you toward what you truly need in your real life.
thank you so much @adrielmancy. I'm so grateful for your friendship, and for you loving my giant woman, and for you commissioning @vetochkarowan to draw her with her bat boyfriend c:
Oona [Radiant Hopeful] YT @oonalovesastarionssimpleplan - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
