Order of the Avengers

There was an idea: to bring together a group of extraordinary, but stupidly impulsive, young wizards and witches, who would solve mysteries and fight evil, just as Harry Potter and his friends did a generation ago. The fact that the American school Ilvernorny seems to be sending all of their rejects to Hogwarts also increases the need for a program to keep these rule-breakers under some kind of control. Nickademus "Mad-Eye" Fury leads the Order of the Avengers. 

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Summary: 

"...and when the Super-wizard climbed out of that cauldron, that was the only moment of my entire life that mattered." 

"What about when I was born?"

"What about it? Never mind Tommy, you're gonna miss the Hogwarts Express."

"My name's Tony you ass-biscuit."

"Don't you use that language in my house Timmy! You're a Stark, not a cave troll. Now get your trunk and broom before I slap you silly!" 

House: Slytherin

Blood Status: Muggleborn

Wand: Mahogany, 14 inches, dragon heartstring 

Broom: Promised us all one that would take us to Jupiter. 

Patronus: Electric eel 

House Elf: Jarvis 

Specialties: Creating and modifying highly dangerous magical artifacts 

Sorting: 

"He was cold, he was calculating..." ~ Tony Stark on his father 

"I think you're a man out for his own gain no matter who you're charging. You are constantly finding holes to slither your way into in the hope of finding loose change, only to cry when you're bitten by another snake." ~ Peggy Carter to Howard

Howard was a Muggleborn, and fought for the side of good. Those two exceptions aside, he embodied every negative stereotype of the Slytherin House down to a T. He was very much like a better-looking Horace Slughorn. He was charming to those he thought might serve his own goals, and openly snubbed those he deemed less interesting, including his son. 

Great Ambition

Howard was a muggleborn who climbed his way up to wealth and power. Since his own father used to hit him with a belt for displaying any signs of magic, Howard felt he was the wizarding world's best father for demanding nothing but the best sorcery from Toby, or Terry, whatever the kid's name was. 

In his magical career, Howard was on the team of potions masters who created the Superwizard Serum; teamed up with Ravenclaw Peggy Carter to form the Order of the Shield; and promised everyone brooms that would take them to Jupiter and back in five minutes.  Legacy: After his untimely death, Howard left a number of effects to be passed on to Tony, including: 

Stark Castle

Several vaults of gold at Gringotts Bank

Several different addictions and mental disorders 

A very confusing trail of clues leading leading to a new element 

"My Guide to Being the Galaxy's Best Dad" by Thanos 

A memory for the Pensieve, where he finally calls Tony his "greatest creation" 

AN:Pretty straightforward. The opening bit is inspired by/ripped off of a "Robot Chicken" skit. 

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Cosmic!

Summary:  While getting ready for her first year at Hogwarts, Kamala Khan discovers her grandma's old wand in the attic, and unlocks her own Jinn heritage.    

House: Gryffindor  

Blood Status: Halfblood and “half-breed”

Species: Human/Jinn hybrid

Wand: Deodar Cedar, 6 inches, Djinn hair from her great-grandmother

Broom: Cleansweep; has since upgraded to crystal air-steps 

Patronus: Marbled Cat

Specialties: Conjuring, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Divination

Sorting:

It was a tossup between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, due to her craftiness and imagination. But Kamala's true power is daring, and her true desire is to join the heroes she idolizes. 

Jinn:

The Khans are an average half-blood wizarding family—muggle father, magical mother. While getting her trunk together for her first year at Hogwarts, Kamala finds an old chest in the attic that belonged to her estranged grandmother, containing some interesting items: a Gryffindor scarf, a bangle, and an elegant wand. Her controlling mother demands she forget all of this "junk" and use the boring wand they bought from Ollivander. But Kamala sneaks the effects onto the Hogwarts Express with her. She rides the train with her muggleborn friend Bruno, and her half-blood friend Nakia, a third year Gryffindor Prefect. At the Sorting Ceremony, Kamala and Bruno go into Gryffindor and Ravenclaw  respectively. 

During her first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, Kamala discovers that her grandmother's wand can do things no other wand can. And her bangle is a Portkey. Bruno analyses the wand and discovers that its core is a Jinn's hair, from someone sharing DNA with Kamala. With Bruno's help, Kamala begins uncovering her buried family history. Kamala practices her new magic on the roofs of Hogwarts. At one Care of Magical Creatures class, she saves Fleur Delacour's irritating nice Zoe from a rabid niffler, and gains an ally. During a fight in Hogsmeade with some evil Jinn, Kamala discovers that the Portkey bangle is also functionally a time-turner, and completes a Stable Time Loop to save her half-Jinn grandmother as a child.  Also on Kamala's tail is a zealous Ministry of Magic agent named Dolly Stoher-Umbridge, Dolores's less interesting niece. The most incompetent agent in Ministry history, Umbridge 2.0 spends the entire school year failing to capture Kamala, then loses her job after nearly blowing up Hogwarts.

Mom finally comes around and supports Kamala joining the Order of the Avengers, even making her new robes. Kamala then does some missions for Mad-Eye Fury, with Carol Danvers and Monica Rambeau. 

Patronus:

Kamala leaps and bounds through the air in the constraining urban landscape very much like a small cat hunting in the rainforest, trailing her long scarf like the marbled cat’s exceptionally long tail. She has a cat's disdain for doing as she's told, but also a feline's stealth to break the rules under her opponent's nose. She is overall harmless, yet hunted simply for standing out. 

AN: I've yet to see "the Marvels," but I'm looking forward to when I do. I enjoyed "Ms. Marvel," and meant to do this entry a while ago. 

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“Boh”

Summary: Maleficent Jadis rejects her Death Eater family and goes by a Muggle-sounding nickname, M.J.

House: Ravenclaw

Blood Status: Pureblood  

Wand: Wytch Elm, 11 inches, Thestral tail hair

Broom: Hates flying; prefers teleportation methods

Patronus: Crow

Specialties: Potions, Charms, Legilimancy, Occlumency, Numerology, magical drawing, teleportation, and her own spell: "Boh"  

Sorting:

The Jadis-Wandson family was not pleased to see Maleficent break family tradition and go into Ravenclaw. Largely lacking in the rest of her family's Slytherin ambition, M.J. drifts wherever her curiosities take her. She's extremely observant and perceptive, even compared to the rest of the Ravenclaw class. She hides and reveals her deductions with her dry wit. She excels at Potions, Numerology and Charms, but failed Muggle Studies miserably. Though noble and brave when necessary, M.J. is no Gryffindor. She's terrified of heights and doesn't even like flying, instead preferring Appiration (which she illegally mastered before beginning her first year—with some push from that Slytherin family, no doubt). Her fighting style is pragmatic, and while she cares about social justice, she tends to lack Peter's idealism. Ravenclaws are known to think outside the box, and if MJ isn’t a Goth Luna Lovegood, then I don't know what she is. Wand:

MJ’s favorite tree is the Wytch Elm, because of the famous murder. Due to her fascination with death, the Thestral hair core is no surprise. She sure that every wand she tried at Ollivander's "malfunctioned" until she got one the Gothest-looking stick in the store. But Ollivander always admired the most eccentric wand owners, and pegged this kid as a fellow Ravenclaw long before M.J. even considered that she might not go straight into Slytherin. For the rest of her school career, M.J. thought of Ollivander as an inspiration, and took joy in perplexing and creeping out her fellow classmates and professors with her eccentricities just as the old wandmaker did with his customers. "A Fusion of Luna Lovegood and Moaning Myrtle, with a dose of Bellatrix LeStrange!"

...is how M.J.'s classmates, and occasionally professors, described her, when they thought she wasn't listening, and wouldn't take it as a compliment. M.J. disdained her mother's family, the blood-purist Jadis house; but she outright disowned her father's, the infamous Wandsons (murderous dark wizards from the States). The Wandson family was closely related to the Blacks, hence M.J. sharing traits with her Aunt Bellatrix, Uncle Sirius, and cousin Nymphadora Tonks. Since all of her good relatives were dead, she tended to hang out with ghosts more than the living, at least until becoming friends with Peter and Ned. She regularly surprised her classmates by literally appearing out of thin air. She usually popped up to make dry, quippy observations over a copy of the Quibbler. She frequently interrupted Filch's detentions to draw moving, talking pictures of wizards in crisis.   By early second year, it was "kind of obvious" to MJ that Peter Parker was the Spider-Wizard. Shortly before this, she'd invented her first spell, at age twelve. That previous summer, M.J. had upset her family, by bluntly pointing out all of the reasons her cousin Delphi couldn't possibly be related to the Dark Lord. All of this, after brushing off her being dusted by Thanos and resurrected with a blasé pragmaticism. "Boh" It was during a class trip to Beauxbatons that M.J. casually showed Peter her new spell: "Boh." What does "Boh" do? It's a conjuring spell, that shoots any short-term need out of one's wand: fire, water, light, a forcefield, Bertie Bott's beans, you name it. The spell only lasts seconds, but it's a lifesaver in a pinch. "Boh" would go on to serve the group well when battling dark wizards like Mysterio. Obliviate! Even the most powerful Memory Charm, cast by the world's most powerful sorcerer, doesn't have 100% of a hold on M.J.'s mind. When a dweeb named Peter Parker enters the Leakey Cauldron and orders a butterbeer from her, M.J. knows instantly that she's seen him before, and there's something very significant about him. For some reason, she thinks of him whenever she casts "Boh."  

AN: I really enjoyed cooking up this backstory for Hogwarts M.J. I'm not thrilled with how "No Way Home" ended, but it worked perfectly into this Potterverse AU.  

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She-Wolf

Summary: An argument about Steve Rogers' virginity led to Jenerva Waldgeist getting bit by her werewolf cousin.

House: Sytherin

Blood Status: Half-blood

Species: Werewolf, able to retain her human mind

Wand: Sycamore, 15 inches, dragon heartstring

Broom: Nimbus Prius

Patronus: Caribou  

Sorting

Lets face it, most lawyers are Slytherins.

Sure, Jen cares about justice. But she'll compromise her morals and personal grudges to keep her career going the way she wants it to. She has brains, like most of her family, but she's not above doing something rash if she wants something badly enough. Her ambition is powerful enough to smash through the Forth Wall, so she can demand a better ending for her story from her own writers.

The Bite

Jenerva Waldegeist was visiting her werewolf cousin Brutus Banner, early in her fifth year. The conversation turned to  Steve Rogers' alleged virginity, and Jen unintentionally hit a nerve when she asked if Steve had ever done it with Tony Stark. Bruce momentarily lost control and bit his cousin, infecting her with his unique form of lycanthropy. To Bruce's surprise however, Jen's mind did not change with her body when she transformed. Bruce theorized that Jen's Slytherin nature blended more easily with the serum that had originally infected Bruce, which contained Salazar Slytherin's blood. Nevertheless, Jen's life was changed forever. And feeling responsible for that, Bruce mentored his cousin through life as a furry. Green Furry Debate Champion Jen is a top member of the Slytherin debate team, aiming to become a Ministry lawyer after graduating. She wasn't thrilled when a (male) House Elf named unintentionally nicknamed her "the She-Wolf." But the name stuck, and it grew on her after seeing the attention and admiration the moniker garnered her. Professor Slughorn, Head of Slytherin House, was absolutely delighted by this turn of events. Slytherins being the way they are, Professor Slughorn instructed that she conduct all debate competitions as the She-Wolf, to both intimidate and impress.  Jen wasn't too keen on this idea at first, but accepted the terms to get the perks of being in the Slug Club. From then on, Jen's schoolyear was a medley of misadventures, as she struggled to get a date, keep her Slug status, and defend the castle, while navigating her new powers. Highlights of the year included making out with Mattathias Murdock, twerking with Professor McGonagall, befriending the Abomination at Slug Club meetings, and clawing her way out of her own book to demand a better final battle from J.K. Rowling. ("Oh and uh, maybe take a break from social media.") Patronus Caribou are a majestic, powerful and relatively flashy looking species of deer. They have been utilized as a mascot for Canadian currency, a coffee company and even Santa Clause. The female caribou is less aggressive than her male counterpart, and enjoys being surrounded by company. But she should never be provoked. AN: I almost gave "She-Hulk: Attorney at Lau" a pass, not the least because I felt there was only one superhero "Attorney at Law." But the returning characters from previous MCU material got to me, and I was surprised by how entertaining the show was. It doesn't beat "Harvey Birdman," but it's a lot of fun.

This picture did not come out great, but I'm sure a certain demographic will be faving regardless.

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Quidditch Daredevil 

Summary: Mattathias Murdock is the blind Gryffindor Seeker

House: Gryffindor

Blood Status: Half-blood

Wand: Redwood, 14 inches, Unicorn Tail Hair

Broom: Daredevil 2020

Patronus: Shortfin Mako Shark

Specialties: Flying, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Legilimency, Divination

Sorting

His devotion to justice and great read on people had the Hat considering Huffepuff for a very long time. Matt is about a perfectly even Gryffinpuff. The split comes from his parents. His father was the toughest beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team; his mother, a Muggle nun, had all the traits of an honorary Hufflepuff.  

But come on, it’s right in there in his moniker: Daredevil. He even color-codes himself by the Hogwarts founder he most admires. He lost his eyesight because at age nine, he risking his own life to save an elderly Muggle.

The Accident

As a small child, Matt saved a Muggle from a rogue Acromantula, by grabbing his father's wand and levitating a nearby car to smash the eight-legged freak. In the ensuing splatter, an amount of the giant arachnid’s venom got into Matt’s eyes. Acromantula venom is a key ingredient in invisibility potions. The chemistry is complex, but it should not go near your eyeballs. Matt was left blind as a result. However, the magic venom had the side effect of enhancing the magic in his body, causing his other four senses and reflexes to heighten, among other things.

Quidditch Daredevil

Even without eyesight, his skill on the Quidditch field rivals the Ravenclaw seeker Peter Parker. Matt holds none of his House's prejudices, and teams up with Slytherins Frank Castle and the She-Wolf.  Nicodemus Fury has his mad-eye on Matt, since most of the original Avengers have graduated, and Hogwarts still needs defenders. Patronus The shortfin Mako is one of the fastest and most athletic species of sharks, able to jump onto boats! The Mako is a master of echolocation--the sense Matt Murdock is famous for. Like a superhero dressed like a devil, they look evil, but generally does not attack humans. AN: I have not seen a full episode of "Daredevil," but the latest "Spiderman" movie got me intrigued, so I looked up some clips. "She-Hulk" turned me into a Matt Murdock fan. Life is too short for me to commit to another TV series, but if anyone has any specific episodes to recommend, I'm game.

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Sorceress 13 

Summary: T'was the lure of the Veela behind that kiss!      

House: Ravenclaw

Species: Human/Veela hybrid

Blood Status: Half-blood

Wand: White ash, 13 inches, dragon heartstring

Broom: Mercury

Patronus: Arctic fox

Specialties: Occlumency, Legillimancy, Invisibility

Sorting

To this day, Charon Carter’s true motivations remain a mystery even to the Sorting Hat. All it can say about her is that she is crafty as hell.

Lure of the Veela

Her shimmering pale hair and glittery eyes reveal Charon’s Veela heritage. Her famous Aunt Peggy was a regular human witch, but one of the other Carters brought home a Veela war bride. Those Veela genes assist Charon both in acrobatics and in enticing other people to trust her. Most infamously, she Veela-ed a kiss out of Stephanos Rogers,  right after Peggy's funeral, where Charon reminded everyone of her relation to Steve's old flame.

Reven8e

However, Charon also inherited a Veela’s temperament. She did not take kindly to Steve forgetting her completely when he rescued his other friends after the Drunken Quidditch Match, especially after she got expelled from Hogwarts and lost her Ministry internship for helping him.  She got back at the world by throwing in her lot with Mundungus Fletcher, and becoming a dealer in stolen magic artifacts.   AN: A redraw of an older version. For those wondering, "Reven8e" is a reference to a TV series Emily VanCamp stars in. I changed the spelling of Sharon's her first name to a variant from Greek mythology, to be more Potteresque.

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I Know My Value 

Summary: Pegasus Carter put her House's mascot into the emblem of the Order of the Shield • House: Ravenclaw • Blood Status: Half-blood • Wand: Apple, 12 inches, unicorn tail hair • Patronus: Cocker spaniel • Broom: Bletchley Bark • Specialties: Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Legillimency and Occlumency

Sorting: Pegasus Carter is certainly brave and chivalrous enough for Gryffindor, but her true specialties are information and craftiness. The Sorting Hat asked young Peggy which House she would prefer, and she stated she wanted whichever one she'd best serve her community in. But don't you care which community that is? the Hat quietly asks inside her head. Wouldn't you like a gold lion on your chest, for all who doubt your abilities to see? "I know my value," young Peggy replies softly. "Anyone else's opinion doesn't matter." That was how the Sorting Hat knew Pegasus Carter belonged in Ravenclaw. After graduating Hogwarts, she even convinced Howard Stark to put the Ravenclaw Eagle in their new organizations' coat of arms, as the Order of the Shield operates around all of Ravenclaw's defining traits. Even after her death, Peggy's wisdom and wit lived on in the back-and-white wizarding photograph that Steve Rogers kept of her in his compass. She was his guide. The War of Grindelwald: ...is where Peggy met her first great love, Stephanos Rogers. They fell in love learning magic and Hogwarts together, and assisting their professors in undercover missions. She mourned when Steve was turned to stone, but her Ravenclaw resolve kept her going. Along with Howard Stark, she co-founded the Order of the Shield, and continued fighting dark magic. One Last Dance: Peggy's romance with fellow Auror Daniel Sousa was just beginning to bloom, when she received a heart-stopping visit at her cottage one night: Steve, back from the dead. Steve somberly explained that he couldn't explain, because he had to preserve the timeline. But he also knew he'd never be able to move on until he had that dance. Choking back tears, Peggy pleaded for an explanation. His voice also cracking, Steve replied, "I'm sorry Peg, but the future, and your life, is one mystery you'll have to solve slowly. But I'll tell you this: I'm gonna be okay. And so are you. You're going to have a legacy, in more ways than one. You have too much love to give and life to live for it all to go to me." They shared a bittersweet dance, a passionate kiss, whispered promises of love, and then parted. Peggy married Daniel Sousa, had children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and one fickle niece. She reconnected with Steve in her elderly years; but in her deteriorating state, her recounting of his final visit and dance went dismissed even by him as a fantasy. All of Hogwarts listened to Peggy's eulogy over the wizarding radio, and raised their wands at the end. Peggy Carter's portrait hangs in Professor Nickodemus Fury's office, continuing to offer advice and banter to every new Auror that enters. Wand: "Applewood wands were powerful and best suited to an owner of high aims and ideals, as this wood mixed poorly with Dark Arts. It was said that the possessor of an apple wand would be well-loved and long-lived, Garrick Ollivander often met customers of great personal charm who found their perfect match in an apple wood wand. Apple wand owners often had a talent for conversing with other magical beings in their native tongues." ~ the Harry Potter Wiki Patronus: Cocker Spaniels are thought of as a "ladylike" breed. But these cute, elegant dogs canines original bred as hunting dogs, and shouldn't be underestimated.   AN: I initially planned to do Peggy only after watching her series. But as much as "Agent Carter" intrigues me, there are so many shows I'm trying to keep up with. And in the end, I don't think anything in the show would affect my Sorting or the AU story I cooked up.

[maxyartwork]

avengers as hogwarts houses

carol danvers; gryffindor! ❤️

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NOT MY ART. But it’s fantastic. 

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Scarlet Legilimens

House: Ravenclaw

Species: Human/phoenix hybrid (formerly human)

Blood Status: Pureblood

(Pointless) Wand: Cherry, 13 inches, phoenix feather  

(Pointless) Broom: Firebolt Supreme

Patronus: Red-billed firefinch

Specialty: Legilimency, Occlumency, Flying, Dark Arts, Wandless Magic

Sorting

Wanda Maximoff is a living example of how the traits of Ravenclaw House may be applied to the most heinous villainy, and the most self-sacrificing heroism. As a villain, she is crafty and manipulative; as a hero, clever and intuitive. Her fighting style, for good or evil, is always more sneaky and innovative than “bold.” Ironically, her mind is also her weakest point as well as her strongest, as poor Wanda continuously ends up as the manipulated as often as the manipulator. A born Legilimens, her abilities, strengths and flaws are all mind related.

Keep reading

[cheesebongdynasty]

Be careful this Saturday the 24th

The reason would warrant a trigger warning, and this post might not reach people who have that subject filtered in their tags.

Some sickos have declared April 24th to be the "National Day" for something very sick. It may be a sick joke, but be careful all the same.

Women especially, but men and intersex people too, and definitely kids, be careful. Stay safe.

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Quick as Silver

PIETRO MAXIMOFF Summary: Durmstrang student, magically merged with his Veela-core wand  

House: Honorary Gryffindor (posthumously sorted)

Species: Human/Veela Hybrid (Human merged with his Veela-hair wand)

Blood status: Pureblood/ “Halfbreed”  

Wand: Birch, 14 inches, Veela hair

Broom: Quicksilver 2015

Patronus: King Cheetah

Specialty: The "Veela Dance"--speed and reflexes; Flying; Defense Against the Dark Arts

Sorting Pietro sadly never got the chance to actually don the Sorting Hat. He was posthumously sorted into Gryffindor, largely for his courage in fighting Ultron.

The Hat wasn't just calling Pietro "brave" for inspirational reasons, though. For better or worse, Pietro's boldness was on full display in every major event of his life. when his parents were killed and his home decimated, he demonstrated incredible resilience for a child his age. He and his sister joined radical causes at a young age, and volunteered for dangerous experiments. Where Wanda was scheming, introspective and crafty, Pietro was gun-ho and athletic

It was a cute irony that the twins often wore each other’s Hogwarts colors. Experimental Magic The Maximoff twins were traumatized and embittered orphans when they began their first year at Durmstrang Institute of Magic, a school notorious for its connection to Dark Wizards. Blaming one of the Avengers for their parents' deaths, and growing up in a horrible Muggle orphanage, made them ripe for indoctrination by the Neo-Death Eaters. when they finally got to be among their own kind again at Durmstrang, and were even allowed to stay at the castle over the summer for "summer school" (dangerous experiments and more brainwashing), they jumped at the offer. Professor Professor Beowulf Von Stucker was mostly interested in Wanda, a born Legillimens, but allowed her brother to have take a dip in the experimental potion as well. In the cauldron, the subject was magically fused with his or her wand, using the Mind Stone. This automatically granting them the power of effortless wandless magic, and the traits of the creature whose feather or hair powered said wand. (Special thanks to AlasterBoneman, for the idea of fusing Wanda with her wand.) Previously Humans, Wanda and Pietro became part Phoenix and Veela respectively. The Veela hair in Pietro's wand granted him the "Veela's Dance," which constituted inhuman speed and reflexes, as well as silvery Veela hair. The twins were nearing the end of their second year at Durmstrang when they finally realized the error of their ways. After he and his sister changed sides to save Durmstrang from plummeting fifty miles (long story), Pietro took a killing curse meant for Clint Barton and a Durmstrang first year. The Gryffindor lion was carved onto Pietro's tombstone, after he was buried next to his parents. Wanda transferred to Hogwarts, after being offered a spot on the Order of the Avengers, where she was sorted into Ravenclaw. The Other Quicksilver There is another “Maximoff” across the pond, who also rides a Quicksilver broom, and is part-Veela. Is Peter Maximoff related to Pietro and Wanda? Nah; it’s just that people named Maximoff tend to come from the same part of the world as Veelas. Peter Maximoff is a naturally born Human/Veela hybrid, attending Xavier’s School for Gifted Witches and Wizards. When Agatha Harkness needed a fake Pietro to manipulate Wanda, she sought to put Peter Maximoff under the Imperius Curse for the role, only to find Xavier Castle empty for summer break. Too much in a hurry to track him down, she instead stole a silvery hair from Peter’s dorm, and made a Polyjuice Potion, which she forced down the gullet of an unfortunate Muggle with the unfortunate name of Ralph Bohner. The result is one confusing fake-Pietro. But Wanda, in her grief, fell for it. Monica Rambeau freed Ralph Bohner from Agatha’s Imperius Curse, and he returned to his Muggle school, where he returned to a normal life of merciless bullying over his surname. Notes: I wasn't particularly pumped to draw Quicksilver until I saw this image.

Once more, a very special thanks to Alaster Boneman, who suggested the idea of Wanda being fused with her wand.

Order of the Avengers

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Glass Pulsar

MONICA RAMBEAU

Summary: Her mother founded "the Sword of Gryffindor." After losing that mother, she went through a magic mirror three times, and was reborn.

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Ilvermony House: Thunderbird

Species: Human/Flaga Hybrid (formerly Human)

Blood Status: Halfblood, now also "halfbreed"

Wand: Cedar, 7 inches, Thunderbird feather

Broom: Pulsar 2000

Patronus: Killer whale

Specialties: Flying, Defense Against the Dark Arts

Sorting

Monica's determination to get right back to work, and later to help Wanda, would serve her well in Hufflepuff. But the resolve she shows when pushing through that barrier, not once, not twice, but three times, knowing there was a chance it could make every cell in her body explode and implode simultaneously, is a surefire Gryffindor trait. Her emotional strength after losing her mother and a chunk of her own life within seconds, the way she doesn't hesitate to rebel against her evil boss at the risk of an Azkaban sentence, and the fact that she remains absolutely fearless in the face of the Scarlet Witch at her absolute worst, also contribute to the Sorting Hat's quick decision. when your mother founded the Sword of Gryffindor, and your other mom is Captain Marvel, you're going into the Lion House.

Childhood

Maria Rambeau had Monica when she was in her fifth year at Ilvermony. Since wizards don't stigmatize teen pregnancy, Maria was allowed to remain at Ilvermony, and even stay on the Quodpod team. But since Muggles did stigmatize it a bit back in the 1990s, and since learning that your baby and baby-mama are both witches is also a bit of a shock, the Muggle father was never around much. But Maria's puma Patronus made sure they got their child support, and that he at least spent some time with his daughter. (For whatever it's worth, he's the one who pressured Maria into doing it in the first place.) Maria's best friend (and later girlfriend) Carol Danvers was more of a "father" to Monica.

When Monica's moms were in their seventh year, Carol disappeared on a secret mission with her flying instructor. Despite only being two years old when she lost her, Monica retained strong memories of Carol, no doubt due to her being a witch. A few years later, Carol briefly returned, now a vampire of the Kree subspecies. The adventure took all of them across the Atlantic to Hogwarts, where both Maria and Carol were sorted into Gryffindor. Monica was over the moon to have "Aunt Carol" back, and also made fast friends with a young Skrull vampire. Carol soon had to leave the Human world once more. 

But the adventure inspired Maria to form the Sword of Gryffindor, a division of the Ministry of Magic devoted to dealing with threats from non-human magical beings. This job brought the whole family to England, so Monica attended Hogwarts for her regular schooling. She was her mother's apprentice at the department, before she (Monica) had even graduated.

Dusting Curse

Monica was at her mother's bedside at St. Mungo's, when Thanos's Dusting Curse turned her to ash. when Monica returned the following spring, she was devastated to learn that her mother had died. Monica's response was to immediately return to work at the Sword of Gryffindor, and the experience made her all the more empathetic to Wanda's distress.

Transformation

when Wanda Maximoff accidently trapped herself and everyone at Hogwarts inside the Mirror of Erised, Monica did something that was both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid. She pushed through the glass of the magic mirror. And then survived being thrown back through it. And then went through a third time. The mirror's enchantments, mixed with Wanda's phoenix-magic, had an affect on Monica. Like a phoenix, Monica was reborn, but not as a bird. Instead, she became part Flaga--a ghostly spirit that dwells in mirrors.

Luckily, Monica retained enough of her Humanity to exit the Mirror and regain her corporal form. But she now has the ability to enter any reflective surface, as well as photographs and paintings. A Skrull vampire soon recruits her for a new mission. The vampires are in the midst of another conflict, and a witch that can work inside of mirrors may prove useful against those who don't have any reflections to fight her with.

AN: I learned of the "Flaga," plural "Flagae," in a Google search for mythical creatures related to mirrors. The results were sparse, but had enough variety that I'm confident the creature isn't trademarked by any one work of fiction.

[orderoftheavengers]

Sword of Gryffindor 

MARIA RAMBEAU Summary: Ilvermony Quodpod champion, founder of the Sword of Gryffindor organization, and most badass magical mom since Molly Weasley.

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Ilvermony House: Thunderbird

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-blood

Wand: Oak, 8 inches, Wampus whisker

Broom: Photon 85

Patronus: Puma

Specialties: Flying, and Defense Against the Dark Arts

Sorting

Never mind the balls it takes to join the military. Maria Rambeau is absolutely unbreakable, even emotionally. 

Particularly notable is her courage in the face of loss and abandonment. She didn't flinch at single motherhood. Instead, she moved right on with Carol Danvers. After losing Carol the first time, Maria stayed strong, even though she was now raising Monica alone once again. She lost Carol again, and moved on by forming the Sword of Gryffindor, a special department in the Ministry of Magic, for dealing with threats from non-human beings. She fought terminal illness. And when her only daughter turned to ash, while Maria was still dying, she simply prepared for her daughters eventual return, even in the even she herself wouldn't live to see it. Not even Maria's hope was ever breakable. She knew Carol was "out there, too stubborn to die," and she was certain Monica would return, even after seeing her dissolve into ash before her eyes.

Schooling

Maria Rambeau was educated mainly at the American wizarding school of Ilvermony, where she and her bestie Carol Danvers both excelled and flying, and kicked ass on the Thunderbird Quodpod team. In the summer just before her fifth year, Maria made the mistake many teenagers do, and found herself pregnant with Monica. Her muggle boyfriend was no help, but Carol quickly stepped in as the other parent. Even so, Maria's puma patronus made sure to remind the dad to pay his child support, and send his daughter a birthday card.

In their seventh years, Maria and Carol were in a special flying class for students planning to join the Auror Air Force. But their instructor, Professor Marvellius, died on a secret mission, and Carol Danvers vanished. Maria graduated, and began her career as an Air Auror (an Auror who mostly patrols and fights from her broom).

Carol's Return

Though Monica was only two when she lost "Aunt Carol," the young witch had a remarkable memory from a young age--at least compared to a Muggle child. For a witch, she was about average. In any case, despite still being very young when Carol finally returned, Monica recognized her immediately and was ecstatic. Maria, on the other hand, had more mixed feelings. Carol was now a Kree Vampire, and like many, had lost most of her memories from her previous life as a Human. Maria helped Carol regain her past, in an adventure that took the whole family across the pond to Hogwarts. Though not really students, they were Sorted into Gryffindor anyway. Being a vampire meant Carol couldn't stay with the living for too long (as the blood cravings made her dangerous), and a bittersweet goodbye was made.

So why "Sword of Gryffindor," rather than "Claw of Thunderbird?" Partially because the Hogwarts Houses are more famous throughout the wizarding world, especially in the Ministry of Magic, which is headquartered in the U.K. Also, because during the adventure, Maria pulled the actual sword of Godric Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat, and killed some Kree Vampires with it. And because, as Maria and Monica already knew, the Rambeau family is actually descended from Godric Gryffindor. (Fact: most humans do not, in fact, resemble their ancestors from millennia ago.)

Patronus

Maria's chivalry isn't the flashy sort. Pumas, AKA Mountain Lions, are an underrated breed of large cat. Maria's forest-y army-fabric fashion, smooth short hair, and overall build also makes one think of a puma. They operate mostly off in the mountains, non unlike Maria off in her rural home away from most of the Avenger's action. Her daughter Monica's Patronus would come in the more intense form of a killer whale.

AN: Only when Sorting Maria Rambeau did I finally realize how incredible this woman is, in every way imaginable. She is made of IRON. The symbol for Sword of Gryffindor is pieced together from clipart.

[orderoftheavengers]

Wanda’s Vision 

A Mysterious Package

As if losing her true love wasn’t cruel enough, Wanda Maximoff can’t even burry him. Instead, the chunks of Vision’s broken stone body are being studied in the Alchemy Department in the Ministry of Magic, as if he’s nothing more than a crumbled statue. Fighting back tears, she picks up her scarlet broom, and heads back to Hogwarts. Since helping to save the universe again, she’s been granted the chance to return and finish her schooling, But the Ravenclaw Commonroom feels empty without is Chimera Prefect.

Wanda should be in class, but instead she drifts up to her empty dorm. There, she finds a tall, tombstone-shaped package standing in front of her blue canopy bed, covered in brown paper. Tied to it is a simple, unsigned note: Enjoy!

Curiously, she takes off the wrapping, to find a tall mirror with an elegant golden frame. The curved top of the frame is engraved with the words:  erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi

Wanda’s eyes drift down to the glass. Instead of her reflection, she sees static, like on an old Muggle TV set. Then, the static clears, to a black-and-white sitcom. The Mirror of Erised broadcasts “WandaVision,” where she sees herself and Vision living an ideal life, in a setting reminiscent of the vintage Muggle sitcoms Wanda and Pietro used to watch with their parents.

The tears finally come. In her grief, Wanda slams her fist into the glass.

A normal witch or wizard could probably not damage the Mirror of Erised, but Wanda Maximoff is no ordinary witch.

Her grief turns to shock when her fist breaks through the glass, and a hurricane-like wind begins sucking her and everything around her into the mirror…

Breakfast

Next thing they know, Wanda and Vision are in their black-and-white Commonroom, getting ready for class. They don their robes, and get their chrome-covered wands and school bags. They head for the Great Hall for breakfast, accompanied by a laugh track. Once there, they have trouble finding the Ravenclaw table, due to the fact that all of the scarves, ties and tablecloths are in grayscale.

“Well, I don’t think it’s either of those,” Vision muses, gazing at two tables locked in a violent magical food fight. The Gryffindors and Slytherins are all Greasers; their black, leather, studded robes bearing large patches of lions or snakes depending on their “gang.”

The next table they look at is filled with beatniks, sharing poetry about peace and unity. “I think that’s Hufflepuff,” Wanda says, noting the badger in the middle of the table playing bongos.

The last table is full of nerds in bowties and horn-rimmed glasses. Figuring this is their stop, Wanda and vision have a seat and begin their breakfast. They’re almost immediately interrupted by the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Agatha Harkness. Wanda is clearly her teacher’s pet, and Agatha says she can’t wait to see what Wanda is capable of on the test later today. "Is my best student gonna Ace this exam, or is that a stupid question?" Professor Harkness gives an irritating "gossipy neighbor" sort of laugh. "Remember, we're doing Patronuses!" Agatha takes out her wand and says with a smile, "Expecto Señor Scratchy! ...Oh, bowtruckles and doxies...Scratchy sit!" Agatha excuses herself, to chase her silvery rabbit Patronus, which is now wreaking havoc across the table.   Wanda smiles and nods, secretly trying to remember this exam she hasn’t studied for.

To make matters worse, the school’s Head Girl and Boy, Victoire Weasley and Teddy Lupin, have decided to join Ravenclaw for breakfast. They ask Wanda and Vision where they’re from, when they began dating, and so forth, with the pair unable to answer.

“What year are you?” Teddy presses on, adjusting his cute wolf-themed sweater. “Are you Purebloods or Muggleborn?  Did you transfer from another school?”

“Any mixed heritage?” Victoire adds.

Wanda and Vision are saved from having to answer when Teddy starts to choke on a werewolf hairball; Vision saves him, using his phasing powers. The frightening moment passes, and suddenly breakfast is over.

“Oh, look at that, it’s time for the game already!” Teddy declares. “Come on!”

Very confused, Wanda and Vision follow the crowd out of the Great Hall and outside, across the gray grass, to…

The Quidditch Pitch

As they near the Quidditch field, the roar of screaming girls makes it nearly impossible to hear each other speak.  Wanda gets out her wand to attempt an ear-plug charm, and notices it looks different than before; instead of that slick chrome covering, her wand now is covered in psychedelic flowers.

When they find their seats, they notice that many of the girls have beehive hairdos, and many people’s cloaks have claps shaped like peace symbols and Yin-Yangs. Vision and Wanda move through the Hufflepuff box, where Teddy Lupin and his comrades have apparently traded their barrettes and scarves for beads and hippie hair. Next, they find a box full of nerds, that they hope is Ravenclaw; with everything still in grayscale, the only way to be sure is to look for an eagle crest somewhere. Vision and Wanda have a seat next to a friendly new girl with a beehive hair, introducing herself as “Geraldine.”

“To be honest I don’t know if I’m in the right box either,” Geraldine reassures Wanda.

“What House are you?” Wanda asks conversationally.

Geraldine’s face falls. “I…don’t know.”

The conversation is cut short when Madam Hootch, dressed like Ed Sullivan, announces the start of the game. The Gryffindor players all have moptops, and quip each other while during the game in thick Liverpool accents. The Slytherins are a bit rougher looking. Slytherin Seeker Albus Severus Potter comments about blowing up Moaning Myrtle’s toilet, and Scorpius Malfoy boasts about snorting his father’s ashes.

The Golden Snitch, for some reason, keeps flying past Wanda and Vision’s part of the stands. And something about the Snitch looks out of place. Wanda finally stops it in midair with her telekenesis, and summons it towards her for a better look. The Golden Snitch really is gold—it’s in color!—and there’s a red symbol on it: a sword, circled by two lions and a huge elegant "G."

“I think they need that!” Geraldine quickly snatches the Snitch from Wanda and expertly chucks it back into the field, as if pitching a baseball.

The Quidditch field is starting to look different. The Quidditch balls and hoops are morphing into colorful, psychedelic cartoons. As if trying to compete with the trippy animation, Al Potter takes out his wand and starts levitating furniture, toilets and animals from the castle to come flying into the crowd. This prompts the Gryffindors to make more awful puns at each other, while trying to retrieve the Golden Snitch from Ringo's nose.

“How is anyone getting through this sober?” Professor Harkness laments over the chaos.

Wanda excuses herself and makes for one of the restrooms in the Quidditch stadium. The toilets have all been blown up by Al Potter, but she doesn’t need to “go,” she just needs to think. In the restroom, she is confronted by queen bee Dominique Weasley, who seems to be implying that Wanda is guilty of something.

“I mean you no harm,” Wanda insists.

“I don’t believe you,” the young part-Veela replies, matching Wanda’s intense stare.

That’s when both girls are interrupted by a muffled voice, apparently coming from the mirror.

Superimposed over their reflections, Wanda can just barely make out the ghostly image of a young man, and hear his distant voice calling, “Wanda, who is doing this to you?”

The eerie message repeats, and Wanda’s anxiety rises, until the glass mirror suddenly shatters, startling her and Dominique. Dominique suffers a cut to her hand, getting some crimson blood on her Gryffindor scarf.

“Gosh,” Dominique says chipperly, as if their intense conversation never happened, “At least blood stains don’t show up as much against Gryffindor colors!”

The girls return to the bleachers, to find that the game has finished. It’s unclear who won, as both teams seem to be celebrating the game in their own way.  The Gryffindors give a cute, uniformed bow, while the Slytherins enthusiastically smash their broom sticks on the ground.

By the time the crowd is leaving the stadium, everything is now in color. Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley have their long hippie hair flowing in bright mind green and shimmering Veela gold respectively. The flowers on Wanda’s wand are now bright shades of red and orange. But the biggest shock of all comes when she and Vision return to the Ravenclaw common room, and realize that Wanda is four months pregnant!

The moment is interrupted by a noise from outside the Commonroom. Peering into the hall, Wanda and Vision see a cloaked figure emerge from a secret passageway behind a gargoyle (shaped like a Blue Meanie). The figure turns around, and Wanda sees that sword symbol once again, on the back of his cloak.

“No,” she mutters, and with a flick of her hands, literally rewinds time.

“Congratulations!”

…says Madame Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing. “You’re having a healthy baby.”

Vision stammers, “But isn’t this happening a little…fast?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, only Muggles stigmatize teen parents. Us wizards still live like it’s the Middle Ages, remember.”

Wanda tries delicately, “The baby having some Phoenix or Chimera heritage wouldn’t be affecting anything, would it?”

“I don’t think so. But you can check the school library for more information if you like.”

The soon-to-be teen parents decide to do just that.

Wanda and Vision enter the library to find themselves now dressed like Scooby Doo characters under their school robes, which have the cut of droop-sleeved Disco gowns.

Geraldine strides in, sporting a fro, with her Gryffindor necktie tied around her head like a scarf. Teddy Lupin and Victoire sit nearby, sporting a mint-green afro and a silverly shag respectively. Lysander and Lorcan Scammander are putting up a sign on the library wall, protesting the pollution of the Forbidden Forest. From the open window, one can see that a new Quidditch game is already afoot; the Gyffindors and Slytherins, in House-colored disco suits, violently toss flying disco balls at each other, while talking like Nick Fury.

No one besides Wanda and Vision seems to notice anything amiss. That is, until Wanda suddenly goes into labor, in the middle of the “P” isle.

Vision runs to get Madame Pomfrey, while Geraldine delivers the baby. Vision returns with the nurse just too late to see his son’s birth. This is remedied a moment later when Wanda goes into labor again! They end up with two healthy baby boys. Wanda and Vision decide to go the Weasley route, and give them simple names: Tommy and Billy.

Geraldine helps Wanda turn the trunk at the end of her dorm bed into a cradle for the twins.

“I’m a twin,” Wanda remembers. “I had a brother, named Pietro.”

Geraldine then adds slowly, “He was killed by Ultron.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

Wanda looks at her friend again, suddenly suspicious and angry. She notices suddenly that the patch on Geraldine’s robes does not depict the usual Gryffindor icon, but instead, that suspicious sword symbol. Ignoring Geraldine’s stammering pleas, Wanda sends the Gryffindor flying through the stone wall, out of the Ravenclaw commonroom.

Geraldine flies backwards down the hall, until she smashes through another stone wall.

She crashes through the wooden wall of the Quidditch pitch.

And finally, she crashes through a massive wall of glass, with a shattering sound that echoes eerily.

“Geraldine” lands on the wet grass. She pushes herself up, as Ministry wizards and witches gather around her. It is dusk, and they’re in the middle of an empty clearing in the woods. Not too far off, the Mirror of Erised magically repairs its own shattered glass.

Monica Rambeau sees the Mirror of Erised standing alone in the empty field, and it all starts coming back to her...

Here’s What Really Happened

...Monica Rambeau’s mother, Maria Rambeau, founded the Sword of Gryffindor: a division within the Ministry of Magic, tasked with threats by non-human magical beings. Monica, a recent graduate of Hogwarts, had just begun an apprenticeship under her mother, when she (Monica) was turned to ash by Thanos’s Dusting Curse.  After she “Blipped” back, and learned her mother had died in the summer she’d been gone, Monica needed work to keep her mind off of her shock and grief.

Her new mission concerned Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which had seemingly vanished overnight—along with the lake, the Quidditch pitch, and even Hagrid’s hut. All that was left was the Mirror of Erised, standing alone in the empty field. And the Mirror seemed to be malfunctioning. Its gold frame was replaced with a chrome and neon 1950s juke-box aesthetic. It’s iconic message now glowed above the glass in the form of a cursive neon sign. All the Ministry workers strongly desired to see where Hogwarts had gone; but all anyone could see in the Mirror was static.

Jimmy Woo (a former Hufflepuff Prefect now with the Ministry) gave Monica a rundown of the situation. “The Ministry’s so desperate, they’re even bringing in a Muggle, to see if one of their ‘TV microwaves’ or something might be interfering with the Mirror’s magic.”

Dr. Darcy Lewis, one of the few Muggles allowed to not only know about the wizarding world, but work with it, finally arrived. Most of the Ministry folk scoffed at the Muggle. But after a quick examination, Darcy had an answer.

“Looks like someone or something has turned your Magic Mirror into an old TV set.”

The project’s supervisor, Director Blandonius Genericus Phucknugget, snorted. “Codswallop and hippogriff dung.  Your Muggle technology doesn’t work in areas like this, where there’s high concentrations of magic!”

“Wrong,” Darcy said, drumming her fingers on the Mirror’s neon frame. “Electricity doen’t work around magic. But you guys make cars and motorcycles fly with magic all the time. You even use cameras, for Treebeard's sake! So this TV-mirror isn’t plugged into anything, but it’s still running, probably on magic. If someone can enchant me a pair of old rabbit-ear antennae, I can probably get this show broadcasting for ya. And if one of you magic dudes can conjure me up some coffee, that’d be cool too.”

Director Phucknugget begrudgingly adhered Darcy’s request. A retired Arthur Weasley was happy to donate some parts from his Muggle collections to the cause. Within the hour, everyone was watching what seemed to be an old Muggle sitcom play out in the glass… set at Hogwarts! Jimmy and Monica soon determined that, somehow, the castle and all of its inhabitants had become trapped inside the Mirror of Erised. Since Wanda Maximoff and Vision Banner-Stark were the stars, and Vision was supposed to be dead, it stood to reason that they had something to do with it.

Monica then made a bold, and arguably stupid, move. She blasted the glass with different powerful spells, until she managed to put a crack in it…and ended up getting sucked into the show.

While Jimmy, Darcy, and the others watched Monica join the main cast, the frame around the Mirror began to change. The jukebox aesthetic was soon replaced by a psychedelic pop art motif, resembling something you’d see on an old CD cover, or a “Yellow Submarine” poster. Monica, Jimmy and Darcy tried different ways to get in touch with Wanda. They tried sending an enchanted Golden Snitch into the Mirror, containing Mad-Eye Moody’s old eye, to survey the situation. Jimmy tried a mirror-enchanting spell, to send Wanda a message. But nothing seemed to work.

By midafternoon, the frame had changed again to a banded ‘70s border with rounded edges, it’s top lettering now spelled out like the opening credits of an “exploitation movie.” And the show was now in color. Soon after that, Monica Rambeau came crashing back through the glass, knocking Darcy, Jimmy and Phucknugget into the grass.

It has all come back to her now.

Lying on the grass in her Disco robes, Monica breaths, “It’s Wanda! It’s all Wanda!”

Care of Magical Creatures

The sky above the Quidditch Pitch is the color of Floo Powder, tuned to a dead fireplace. The frame around the Mirror of Erised is clunky robotic junk, smattered with flickering neon. The castle halls have become a glittery labyrinth, and echo with David Bowie music. Goblins from Gringotts are discussing business with Headmistress McGonnagall, demanding a baby as payment if they don't get their gold.

Billy and Tommy are old enough to start their first year at Hogwarts, even as their parents are still finishing up year Five. The boys adopt a cute three-headed Cerberus puppet (yes, puppet--The "Dark Crystal" kind) that they name Sparky. Everyone now has frizzy ‘80s hair, and wizard robes now have built-in shoulder pads.  Professor Harkness continues to give Wanda top marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts, where students practice wizard duels in 80s workout gear.

Wanda finally “breaks the fourth wall” again, albeit less literally this time. Excusing herself from her family, she goes to the restroom, and looks directly into the mirror, at the Ministry wizards outside. For a few moments, they talk as if there is only glass between them.

“Is this yours” Wanda says, tossing the Golden Snitch back through the glass.

Catching the Snitch, Monica begs Wanda to listen to reason. But it’s no use.

Meanwhile Vision, is getting suspicious. He manages to free Lysander Scammander from Wanda’s control. The hysterical first-year frets that he hasn’t received an owl from his parents in what seems like ages, and that having Wanda in his head all the time is painful.

But just as Vision confronts Wanda, they get a surprising visitor: Pietro Maximoff! …or is it? Something seems off, but Wanda wants to believe it’s true.

Defense Against the Dark Arts

For their Midterm Exam in Defense Against the Dark Arts, everyone suits up. Vision dresses like a Mexican wrestler, while Wanda dons a red leotard under a red cloak and tiara.  Billy and Tommy are advancing in their magic classes with alarming speed. Pietro suspiciously looks, sounds and acts very little like the brother Wanda remembers. But how many other male part-Veelas can be out there?

Back in the real world, Monica, Jimmy and Darcy clash with Director Genericus Phucknugget. The three are eventually taken off of the project for not being big enough assholes, so they set out to break some rules. Darcy “hacks” into Phucknugget’s “files,” by which we mean, she swapped his Pensieve out with a chamber pot when he wasn’t looking. Around a camp fire in the Forbidden Forest, the trio examine the memories that their shady boss didn’t want them to see.  Turns out, he doesn’t have anyone’s best interests in mind, bar his own quest power.

Monica wants to try re-entering the Mirror, but there’s another problem.  

“You’ve gone through that class twice,” Darcy warns. “Your body is cursing with the magic of a Flaga.”

“How do you know about the Flagae?” Jimmy asks.  

“Muggles can read books too you know.” Darcy produces a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scammander.

Flagae are spirits that live inside magic mirrors, often acting as familiars for witches like Snow white’s evil stepmother. Darcy theorizes Wanda and Vision’s “Mirror children,” Billy and Tommy, may in fact by Flagae. And Monica is turning into one too. If she makes a full transformation, she might never be able to leave the glass again.

But Monica stands her ground. “I won’t stop until I help Wanda.”

Back in the Mirror, Vision investigates the edges of Hogwarts' grounds. He finds both the Forbidden Forest and the train platform inaccessible, blocked by a wall of shimmering magic glass.

Outside, the Ministry wizards see Vision begin to emerge from the Mirror. He pushes painfully, with his hands pressed against the frame, but some force is holding him back. Vision himself begins to shatter, as if he’s made of glass. Darcy, who has tried sneaking back onto the project, yells at someone to help him, as a Ministry Auror holds her back.

Billy, a Legilimens like his mother, senses his father’s distress and alerts her. To save her husband, Wanda creates a powerful wind to pulling Vision back into the Mirror…and takes most of the Ministry witches and wizards with him.

Modern wizards

When the winds die down, nearly all of the Ministry wizards are now inside the Mirror, and have been recast as House Elves, Leprechauns, and decorative Cupids.  Darcy is recast as a bespeckled House Elf in a blue bellhop’s uniform.

Wanda and Vision give interviews about their ongoing life problems, to no one in particular.  Vision finds Darcy, and restores her memories and human body, though she keeps the silly suit. Darcy fills Vision in on his life before the Mirror. Yet still, he can’t remember any of it. They ponder the possibility of a Memory Charm, or the simple resurrection amnesia that often plagues newborn vampires.

Monica and Jimmy remain safe outside the Mirror of Erised, but Monica is now adamant that there’s no other way to reach Wanda and stop their evil boss.

This third push through the magic glass makes Monica feel like she's shattering. All around her are the voices of her dead mother, and her absent “Aunt Carol”—Monica’s “Erised.” The temptation to just let herself melt into the glass and give up on reality is strong. But Monica is stronger. Monica finally emerges into Erised-Hogwarts, a new being. Her eyes glowing a spectrum of colors, Monica is now like a person jacked into the Matrix; the laws of physics in the world of the Mirror no longer apply to her.

It was Agatha All Along!

It’s supper time, but Billy and Tommy still aren’t back from Defense Against the Dark Arts. Wanda heads to the classroom, to find Agatha, stroking the silvery fur of her apparently corporal Patronus.

“Where are my children?” Wanda demands.

But when she attempts magic, she fails.

“Highest marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but an F in Ancient Runes!” Agatha taunts. “Only the witch who casts the runes can use her magic in the area. Every first year should know that!”

Agatha then forces Wanda to join her in entering a Pensieve, filled with all of Wanda’s worst memories. Yes, Wanda is now inside a Pensieve, while inside the Mirror of Erised. Agatha wants to know what makes Wanda’s magic tick, so she can harness it for herself.

Wanda sees her entire life play out. She and Pietro are children, living in their magically-hidden hole-in-the-wall apartment in Sokovia. Their father tries to make a living by magically burning vintage Muggle sitcoms into wizarding photos and paintings, that will play out the episodes, which he sells to wizard and witches that are Muggle enthusiasts. Then their home is destroyed, and their parents are killed.

Wanda sees herself in the dungeons of Durmstrang, approaching the glowing cauldron, and listening to her instructors tell her how to enter the experiment. She dips into the glowing cauldron like a bathtub, with the Mind Stone shining from the bottom like a light in a jacuzzi, clutching her phoenix-feather wand. There's an explosion of light, as she and her wand are fused together. And the premonition she sees of herself, as one of the most powerful witches alive... “There’s an entire Prophecy about you, in the Department of Ministries. Well, not anymore,” Agatha smirks, showing Wanda the ancient book she (Agatha) has stolen from the Ministry of Magic. "You're the Scarlet Witch!" She sees everything, from the death of her brother to the death of her lover. Finally, she sees and remembers how she ended up inside the Mirror of Erised, accidently sucking the entire castle in and casting a memory charm on everyone, including herself. And how from her emotions and memories, she accidently created a Flaga, in the form of her dead lover, Vision.

Wanda now realizes what she must do. It will be agony for her; but she cannot continue to imprison and torment her peers, just to keep her fantasy in the Mirror of Erised alive. And Agatha must be stopped.

The Darkest of Magic

The two witches start to duke it out in the sky above Hogwarts Castle, in a wandless witch's duel. Both conjure their Patronuses, straight from their hands. Señor Scratchy goes "Watership Down" on Wanda's firefinch, which retaliates in Hitchcock fashion. The corrupt Ministry wizard and his cronies make a bad situation worse, when they send their own twisted creation into the Mirror—the real body of Vision, now an unpainted white gargoyle, bent only on destroying its counterpart inside. But Erised-Vision knows that the best way to distract himself has always been philosophy, so he wins over his alter-ego with a lecture on the Ship of Theseus, some musings about the workings of Time Turners, and the parallels between Nargles and imaginary numbers.

Monica frees “Pietro” from the Imperius curse that Agatha has paced on him, and watches the Polyjuice Potion she forced him to drink wear off. Turns out, he’s just a Muggle named Ralph Boner.

Everything is going to chaos inside the Mirror of Erised (except for the two Visions, who are having a quiet discussion about the reliability of Divination, in midair in the Library). Wanda uses her recent lesson in Ancient Runes to incapacitate Agatha, and then dives into the older witch’s mind...

...Agatha is centuries old. Haling from the Salem Witch’s Institute, she was shunned by her Coven, and even her own mother, for “studying the Darkest of Magic.” Agatha then unleashed a Killing Curse on all of them. Once the heinous crime was done, Agatha’s Horcrux was made. She plucked the pendant off of her mother’s body, and pined it to her own cloak.

Agatha is brought back to the present, just in time to see Wanda’s firefinch devour Señor Scratchy. The scarlet magic shooting from Wanda’s hand briefly flashes bright green.

Goodbyes

Hogwarts has been restored. Everyone is free from the Mirror, save three people: Vision, Billy, and Tommy. Agatha lies dead on the grass outside the Mirror of Erised—or at least, her human body does.  Using her powerful Scarlet Magic, Wanda fuses the pendant Horcrux into the golden frame of the Mirror of Erised, trapping what’s left of Agatha. From now on, Agatha can only exist in the role of other people’s fantasies, when they look into the Mirror. “No one will ever bother you here,” Wanda assures her enemy, through the glass.

Oblivious, the fraction left of Agatha’s soul smiles from behind the glass, in her 1950s getup. “Fabulous! See you in class, Sugar!”

Wanda apologizes to Monica, and all of her peers from Hogwarts, while Director Phucknugget is hauled off to Azkaban by the Dementors.

Headmistress McGonnagall assures Wanda that she is still welcome at Hogwarts, provided more precautions are taken with her powers. But Wanda chooses to leave the school.  Before leaving the castle, Wanda pays her family one last visit.  The Mirror of Erised stands in a large empty room. Separated by glass, Wanda tearfully bids goodbye to Vision, Billy and Tommy.

“Thank you for choosing me to be your mom,” she tells the boys, before they go to bed.

“Wanda,” Vision presses against the glass. “Darcy called me a ‘Flaga.’ Am I a ghost? Or just a fantasy?”

“You’re a spirit I created,” Wanda finally admits out loud. “You are my memories, and my pain. But most of all, you’re my love.”

For a moment they are able to kiss, as if the glass isn’t there. Then Wanda leaves the room, and doesn’t look back.  

Epilogue

Monica is still mostly Human, but like Wanda, she is now a hybrid—in her case, part Flaga. And it turns out, there is a battle being fought in the Mirror Realm, and Monica can help.

Wanda, meanwhile, creates herself a cabin in the woods, where she studies that Prophecy book—out of body. She is interrupted by the voice of one of her sons, calling from every mirror in the house, “Mom…!”

AN: An AU of an AU! Bloody hell.

This was a nightmare, both to "draw" and write, even with most of the work "cut out" for me. But worth it.

Because life is short, the images in this picture were largely traced, or straight up pasted clipart.

[orderoftheavengers]

Scarlet Legilimens

House: Ravenclaw

Species: Human/phoenix hybrid (formerly human)

Blood Status: Pureblood

(Pointless) Wand: Cherry, 13 inches, phoenix feather  

(Pointless) Broom: Firebolt Supreme

Patronus: Red-billed firefinch

Specialty: Legilimency, Occlumency, Flying, Dark Arts, Wandless Magic

Sorting

Wanda Maximoff is a living example of how the traits of Ravenclaw House may be applied to the most heinous villainy, and the most self-sacrificing heroism. As a villain, she is crafty and manipulative; as a hero, clever and intuitive. Her fighting style, for good or evil, is always more sneaky and innovative than “bold.” Ironically, her mind is also her weakest point as well as her strongest, as poor Wanda continuously ends up as the manipulated as often as the manipulator. A born Legilimens, her abilities, strengths and flaws are all mind related.

Note the “cleverness” and “ready mind” mentioned by the Sorting Hat needn’t always come in the form of a bookish nerd, as Luna Lovegood, Sybil Trelawney, Profeesor Quirrel and Professor Lockheart are all Ravenclaw. Wanda may not spend her free time studying or watching the Discovery Channel, but she does spend much of it experimenting with her powers, and letting her imagination loose. When faced with unbearable loss, she wasn’t immediately able to face her grief head-on, like a Gryffindor; nor, as a corrupt Ministry leader lied, did she try to resurrect her lost lover; instead, she escaped into her own mind, imagining up an (almost) complete fictitious life for herself and Vision, in a matter of seconds, without even realizing she was doing it.

Wanda is capable of impressive courage, ambition and loyalty, to be sure; but all of those things have wavered, when her reality was turned upside-down. She shed years of indoctrination after reading Ultron’s mind and seeing the grim truth. (And yes, she can read a machine’s mind! That’s a Ravenclaw right there.)

Durmstrang Experiments

Wanda and her twin brother Pietro were born to wizarding parents, in the tiny European nation of Sokovia. Wanda was a born Legilimens, like Queenie Goldstein, able to peek into others’ minds without having to perform any spells. A poor family, their father made ends meet by enchanting posters and lobby cards of old Muggle sitcoms to play out entire episodes, which he then sold to Muggle-enthusiasts in the wizarding world. Their home was decimated by a spell invented by Tony Stark, who never intended for it to end up in the claws of banshee terrorists. The twins ended up in a crap Muggle orphanage, which only intensified their prejudices. By the time they entered Durmstrang, a school infamous for professors that supported Dark Magic and even Voldemort, they were ripe for indoctrination and radicalization.

Due to Wanda’s being a Legilimens, the twins were selected for a dangerous experiment by their headmaster Professor Beowulf Von Stucker. Using the Mind Stone, the twins were to be fused with their wands. Wanda’s first name suddenly became very appropriate, a la Remus Lupin. Wanda merged with her phoenix-feathered wand, transforming the born Legilimens into a powerful human/phoenix hybrid. Her telepathic powers were enhanced, and she gained many powers of a phoenix, including flight, inhuman strength for her levitation spells, and being nearly indestructible. Being part wand also made her able to do wandless magic with no effort. Pietro, meanwhile, was merged with his Veela-hair wand, making him a human/Veela hybrid, and gifting him with a Veela’s dancing speed and silvery hair.

(A very special thanks to AlasterBoneman for the idea about Wanda's wand being integrated into her body.) Order of the Avengers Wanda and Pietro are finishing up their first year when they cross paths with the Order of the Avengers, and they don't exactly make a good first impression. Their vitriol against the Avengers and Tony Stark makes very little sense, especially given that Wanda is a telepath, and should easily see they aren't the villains (not to mention how much she has in common with Natasha, whose life story Wanda personally digs up). But, the twins are still only about eleven, and kids that age can be pretty stupid. The Avengers trace Loki's confiscated broom-scepter to Durmstrang, where the dark wizards from the Order of Hydra are keeping it. Wanda, having recently studied with a Boggart, uses her Legillimency to make the Avengers relive their traumas. Tony's fear shows Wanda that he clearly wants to protect the world, and yet she makes the very un-Ravenclaw decision to keep pursuing "revenge." Her plan inadvertently leads to Tony and Bruce accidentally creating a dangerous and ear-bleedingly-irritating gargoyle named Ultron, who the twins personally work with. Wanda even shocks Bruce into green-wolf form, and sends him on a rampage through one of the dormitories at Durmstrang (but it's not her or Pietro's House, so she could care less). Finally, after much too long, she puts her mental powers to some use, and reads Ultron's mind. That's when she puts two and two together. By then, Ultron has unleashed an army of Cornish Pixies to levitate Durmstrang Castle miles into the air, planning to drop it in an explosion of magic that will alert the Muggles to the existence of wizards. Huddled in a swaying castle tower, she confesses her guilt to Hufflepuff Clint Barton. Clint invites her to redeem herself by joining the Avengers. Durmstrang is saved, but sadly, Pietro takes a killing curse for Clint and another first year. wrought with grief and guilt, wanda begins her second year of schooling at Hogwarts, where--after an unusually long time on the stool--she is sorted into Ravenclaw. Her lonely mood is raised slightly when she finds the attractive new Golem, Vision, hovering to the Ravenclaw table alongside her.

The Scarlet Witch Hunt

Perhaps living on her own for a while is what finally helps Wanda regain the confidence to think for herself. When Vision suggests that they both drop out of their respective schools and just run off together, she urges him against the idea. When Vision senses a disturbance in his Mind Stone, she inspects it for him, but reports, “I just feel you.”

They are interrupted by a rude crowd of Trolls under their window, calling for Wanda’s blood. She’s fine to ignore them, but Vision—ever the logical Ravenclaw—is compelled intellectually argue with the Trolls in his lady's honor.

“Wanda is a redemption-seeking-antihero like Tony, who she has not expressed any hatred for since the Ultron fiasco—not even during the whole ‘Civil War’ calamity! In fact, of everyone on Team Cap, she was the least awful to Tony! The only verbal exchange between them during the whole drunk Quidditch match was a brief pout about being 'locked in her room,' which she had no problem with until Hawkeye came and pressured her. She was literally the only person in the Squid prison not insulting him! And just a few minutes ago, when I wanted her to run away with me, she was telling me to keep my loyalties to Stark, and when the news reported him missing she was visibly scared for him! Seriously, where are you Trolls even getting that she still hates Tony?”

One Troll with particularly long horns shouts back, “Well what about that cleavage and slutty red leather? Tony Stark was never a slu—er, wait…”

Vision is now standing in the window frame, unbuttoning his fly.

“Vision?” Wanda asks nervously. “What are you doing?”

A glittering, purple stream poursd out from her boyfriend’s “better wand,” threatening to deface the crowd below.

“Vision no!” she cries, quickly containing the violet river in an energy ball.

Steady hand…    she carefully lifts the ball of glistening liquid higher and higher into the air. …Not gonna screw this one up—

“I say Wanda, is that a giant flying donut?” Vision asks curiously.

Wanda glances up, and there is indeed a gargantuan space donut in the night sky, coming right for them. The strange sight distracts her, causing her hand to slip—just as she’s levitating Visions liquids right over said donut.

This enchanted pastry is in fact the vessel of some of Thanos’s most vicious minions. And Wanda has just drenched them in Vision’s you-know-what.

While Wanda gasps behind her hand, Vision suggests, “Let’s go for a walk.”

On their way down the quiet lamp-lit streets, they are soon stopped by a group of Thanos’s putrid goblin children, currently slightly more putrid than usual.

A blue female goblin roars, “Now you’ve really succeeded in pissing us off!”

Before she can stop herself, Wanda blurts out, “Pissed off? Smells more to me like you ‘been pissed on!”

Somewhere, a boxing bell dings, and a badass wizard’s duel begins.

Just when Wanda and Vision are cornered, a train passes by, causing all parties to freeze dramatically for no apparent reason. Wanda tries to make her body move, to take this opportunity to blast her opponents, but some force has her glued in place, as low music hisses theatrically throughout the night. The train passes, to reveal a shadowy figure, posing heroically. Instead of shooting the figure with a hex, one of the goblins simply throws a spear, which the figure catches expertly. Wanda and Vision both know that there is only one person on the planet would could make an entrance with this much ham and cheese.

Steve Rogers dramatically stepped into the light, revealing his fluffy new beard, and the duel gets a bit more epic.

Oh Snap

In the wizarding nation of Wakanda, Black Panther’s brilliant sister Shuri does her damndest to save her fellow Ravenclaw, and safely remove the Infinity Stone from Vision’s forehead. Sadly, Thanos’s forces overwhelm her, and Wanda is forced to kill her lover--the last family she has left. Many would assume only a Gryffindor would have the resolve to do this, but a Ravenclaw’s wisdom and pragmatism can go a long way.

Ever the sadist, that purple f*ck Thanos uses the Time Stone to resurrect Vision and kill him again, in front of Wanda, and even has the gault "comfort" her in a patronizing manner.

And yet, she’s not so distraught when Thanos’s Dusting curse comes for her. It could be that she’s so despaired by now that she welcomes death. Or maybe the half-phoenix simply doesn’t react to dissolving into ash the same way other beings might…

…in any case, she is resurrected over the summer by Bruce Banner. Vision, sadly, isn’t. In her grief, Wanda accidently traps herself and the entire school of Hogwarts inside the Mirror of Erised, but that's another story entirely. 

Wand, Broom and Patronus

Cherry wood is associated with some of the most powerful and lethal wands.  Phoenix feather wands are considered to have the widest range of magic, and are among the post powerful, yet also the most difficult to tame. 

The red-billed firefinch is one of the few bird species where the females sport some red coloring. These birds are tiny and quiet, but very active. They are flexible about where they live and with whom; they can mix with other bird species, and can live in the wild or captivity, provided they always have plenty of space. Their nests are different from other birds', having a dome shape and being low in bushes. Not unlike the hidden fortress Wanda creates, to hide her family. These crafty birds also build mock-nests to fool predators.  

AN: This has undergone some changes in both the story and image, since the release of "WandaVision." If anyone is for any reason attached to Wanda's old broom, the previous version is saved in my Stash. I plan to reuse that fire design somewhere else, possibly for Harry's Firebolt in my more serious Potter art.

[orderoftheavengers]

MCU Hogwarts AU: Galaga Guy

I’m stumped guys. Help me out.

Gryffindor: He loves playing a battle-oriented game, and is bold enough to do so on the job at SHIELD, in the presence of Directer Fury, on the day Fury is first introducing the friggin Avengers around the craft. Ravenclaw: He’s clearly a nerd. 

Hufflepuff: He’s very devoted to that game. And fits the stereotype of a Hufflepuff being a comical duffer.  Slytherin: He is very devoted to that game, and clearly doensn’t give AF about the rules, or respecting Director Fury. He must be ambitious at Galaga, as he was near his all-time high score before he was dusted by Thanos (canon, seriously). 

[orderoftheavengers]

Hufflepuff Rescue

Summary: Only a true Hufflepuff could put up with a Slytherin like Tony for all those years!

House: Hufflepuff

Species: Human/Salamander hybrid (formerly Human)

Blood Status: Muggleborn (sans one possibly magic uncle)

Wand: Hazel, 10 inches, jackalope antler

Broom: the Rescue Mark-7

Patronus: Giant flaming rabbit from Hell

Specialties: Charms, practical magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts

Sorting

Pepper would've made a fine Ravenclaw, but her most defining traits are Hufflepuff ones. She's a workaholic; insanely (some would say literally) loyal to her friends and employers; empathetic and sensitive; and has an almost superhuman ability to tolerate damn near anyone. The fact that she would accept whatever House the Hat chose for her only increased her candidacy for Hufflepuff.

"You're all I have too, Tony."

When Virginia Potts received her letter from Hogwarts, her Muggle family did not outright disown her; but they distanced themselves from her, and made their disdain for her magic clear. She was miserable at home, and took every extra job and class she could to stay in the magical world over the summer and holidays. (Though American, Pepper's family had recently moved to the U.K. for business related reasons.)

Virginia Potts was extremely skilled at charms, and her wand frequently rained excess sparks when she wielded it. Friends joked that she had the "hot-pepper wand," leading to her Hogwarts nickname Pepper. Ms. Potts was more than happy to keep this new identity, and took to using her Muggle first name only for legalities. Early into her first year, Pepper was ecstatic to get hired by a rich classmate, for a summer job at

Stark Castle

When Pepper wrote to her family explaining that she wouldn't be home for summer break, they wrote back politely implying that they preferred it that way.

Her fellow Hufflepuffs laughed, fretted, or had nervous breakdowns when they learned who Pepper was going to spend the summer working for. They all assumed that Tony Stark would either discount Pepper immediately for being a "mudblood," or would hire her only to troll her mercilessly. Neither was the case. Howard Stark himself had been a muggleborn Slytherin, who'd worked his way up the wizard social ladder from nothing, and the Starks had never bought into prejudice of any kind. (Howard worked with a female auror Peggy Carter in the '40s, and was married to a Ravenclaw named Maria; Tony's two best homeboys Happy and Rhodey were both Gryffindors.) Pepper's Muggle background actually contributed to her hiring, as Tony had an affinity for Muggle cars and food, and one of his best friends, Happy Hogan, was a Muggleborn.

Tony was, however, every bit as much of a headache as he was infamous for. But Pepper was made of much stronger stuff than even her best friends credited her for. Tony's Slytherin-to-the-max traits run amok were tempered by Pepper's Hufflepuff patience, grounded focus, and sensitivity. She established herself quickly as someone neither Tony nor his Veela dancers could screw around with, and took great pride in her job.

Things changed in forth year, when Tony was captured by Neo Death Eaters and has a magical amulet implanted in his chest.

Despite her love for her job, and the chance to see Tony Stark's bare chest, Pepper was not enthused to help change his chest amulet. ("There's puss!" "It's not puss, it's just poisoned basilisk venom mixed with phoenix tears, calm down.") She was understandably upset to find Tony working in his dungeon lab on a dangerously experimental broom, for missions that could get him killed. She reminded him, "You're all I have too, Tony." She eventually came to except Tony as a vigilante; but still freaked out when he attempted to drive a Muggle race car and set himself on fire.

Proof My Slytherin Has a Heart

....is what Pepper had magically inscribed on Tony's Christmas present: his old chest amulet, framed in two silver snakes forming a heart.

The entire school squeed at the unlikely Hufflepuff/Slytherin hookup. Fortunately, the pair did not have to face as much antagonism as a Slytherin/Non-Slyth couple in "Harry Potter's" day might have. Any negativity they did face was met with Tony's wrath. But everyone knew Stark's best friends were comprised almost entirely of non-Slytherins, and most people weren't dumb enough to hassle him about it.

Night of the Flaming Lepus

After Loki's attack on Hogwarts, Tony developed PTSD and became paranoid about protecting everyone, especially Pepper. He taught her as much Defense Against the Dark Arts as he could, but she really struggled with conjuring her Patronus. The tiny wisp she managed to squeeze from her wand resembled a very nonthreatening looking bunny.

That Christmas, Tony surprised Pepper with a giant rabbit he'd bought on the magical black market, thinking bigger = better. She didn't like it, as it had a tendency to eat chunks out of furniture, block the fireplace, and eat all of the magical plants around the Hufflepuff commonroom. They all got fed up, and Pepper magically teleported the eleven-foot rabbit down to the Slytherin commonroom, causing some awkwardness for Tony, who was already getting on his fellow Slytherins' nerves.

Shortly afterwards, the Slytherin commonroom was obliterated by Tony's enemies. Fortunately no one was killed--except, sadly, the giant rabbit.

But it lived on in spirit...

The villain who'd tried to kill Tony turned out to be Pepper's ex boyfriend, a Ravenclaw named Alderich Killian, whom she'd dated back in first year. Killian, once a regular human wizard, had transformed himself and several henchmen into Salamander hybrids, granting them fire-shooting and regeneration powers. Killian captured Pepper, and subjected her to a painful transformation that made her too part-Salamander.

While trying to rescue Pepper atop the Astronomy tower, Tony failed to catch her, and saw her seemingly plummet into an inferno below. Suffering a sudden attack of amnesia regarding Pepper's new powers, Tony thought she was dead, and in a Heroic Blue Screen of Death, went for Killian's blood. But Tony didn't have his wand or his broom with him, and was no match for the fire-breathing lizard man. 

Killian prepared for the killing blow, when he was interrupted by an a voice screaming, "Expecto Patronum!" He and Tony both turned to see Pepper, glowing red with her new Salamander powers, aiming her wand at Killian. Flames traveled up her arm to her wand, mixing with her patronus as it emerged. An eleven-foot-tall rabbit made entirely out of fire charged at Killian, barring fangs with flaming eyes straight out of "Watership Down." Killian died screaming like a teletubby, just before the bunny from Hell leaped across the roof and bit his head off.

Staring up at his lover, Tony quipped, "I got nothing."

Tony offered to cure Pepper of her condition, to which she replied, "Why in the name of Merlin's facial hair would I want to lose these kickass powers? I like being a Hot Pepper!"

Tony then apologized for the sh*t he'd put her through, and blew up all of his brooms, creating a shower of fireworks for her and Hogwarts. (And an excuse for himself to build new brooms.)

Lovers Divided Get Reunited... Then Divided Again

After going through all that hell together, it seemed nothing was going to break Pepper and Tony up. Then Tony accidentally created a super-annoying gargoyle villain that destroyed Durmstrang, and Pepper declared it time for them to "take a break." That Halloween, she went home for the first holiday in years. After half a week back in the Muggle world, Pepper remembered why she'd left, and hurried back to Hogwarts.

She was not surprised to learn that Tony had been involved in a violent drunken Quidditch game. However, she was shocked to hear he and Rhodey were both at St. Mungo's, for physical and psychological damage respectively. Rhodey had been transformed into a merman, with Healers unable to restore his legs. Tony meanwhile had undergone an experience that would have broken far more stable people than him. Pepper did not have nice words for Steve Rogers after she learned the whole story. She did, however, have an eleven-foot-tall, hopping-mad, flaming Patronus ready for him. Rumor has it Steve grew the beard in the hopes of disguising himself from the Hell Bunny.

Pepper saw Tony emerge from the sh*t pile that was his life with a shocking new maturity. Well, mature for Tony; he was still snarking like a petulant child to Stephen Strange.  But otherwise, he was more sensible and stable than she'd ever seen him. He devoted himself to mentoring a cute little Ravenclaw with spider powers, and building more magical shields and gadgets to protect the world from Titan invaders. At graduation, Tony gave Pepper the most awkward proposal in history. She wrinkled her nose at first, but came around and said, "What the hell."

Then a new kid with a cape resembling Ming the Merciless stole Tony from Pepper, and took him for a ride on a giant flying donut.

Not An Entirely Muggle Family?

Shortly before Strange arrived to steal Pepper's boyfriend, Tony related to her what he'd seen in the crystal ball in Divination class that morning (after several eye-rolling innuendos about "balls," naturally). In the crystal, he saw them have a baby together, and named the child after Pepper's "eccentric uncle," whose name happened to be Morgan. (Note: That's canon.)  Uncle Morgan was one of the few relatives who didn't shun Pepper after her Hogwarts letter, though he was extremely strange. Pepper didn't see him perform magic, and Uncle Morgan wouldn't elaborate on the subject--or, more precisely, he would elaborate, exaggerate, and then truncate. Tony speculated that Uncle Morgan may have been a Muggleborn who'd somehow gotten himself expelled from Hogwarts.

A Hufflepuff Rescue

After the Snap, Tony and Pepper eloped, and Pepper indeed gave birth to a baby girl, who they named Morgan. Determined to protect his family, Tony built Pepper a new upgraded broom, wand, and impenetrable robes. She loved the color purple, but Tony chose royal purple and gold for other reasons as well. Sick of seeing his queen underrated and often dismissed as "Tony Stark's mudblood servant," Tony wanted to make sure no one mistook his wife's role in his life ever again. Pepper wore and wielded these accessories in the final battle against Thanos.

At one point in the fight, a man with an old-fashioned camera interrupted the battle to request that all of the females in the Hogwarts army gather at one area, and strike badass poses. The man was Denis Creevey, and explained that this photo was for the Daily Prophet's issue on Witch's History Month. The Avengers, Thanos, and all parties sighed and begrudgingly put their epic battle on hold to meet Creevey's request. Creevey then hurried off the battlefield, and the fight resumed. Weeks later, the Prophet's front page featured an undeniably smashing (somewhat literally!) moving portrait of all the witches fighting for Hogwarts, plus Deadpool in drag.

Pepper was horrified when Tony used the Infinity Wand to seemingly sacrifice himself and dust Thanos and his army. But even then, her Hufflepuff loyalty and compassion prevailed. She accepted Tony's sacrifice, and told him, "you can rest now."

She was of course, overjoyed to have her husband resurrected. She was less happy the following year, when Tony took a potion that allowed him to talk to animals, and adopted a number of very talkative exotic creatures, but that's a story for another day.

Wand, Patronus

Rabbits and jackalopes are known to be soft and maternal, yet tricksy and clever. And anyone who has seen "Watership Down" knows not to be fooled by their cuteness.

AN: A lot of people peg both Pepper and Tony as Ravenclaws, and I get it. J.K. herself would likely sort them there, if not straight into Gryffindor like most of the important characters (sigh). But I'm basing the Sorting partially on the characters' roles in the series. Pepper is brilliant, but her role is that of a loyal workaholic and empathetic lover, while Tony's is that of a genius who just. Never. Quits. Plus, the Hufflepuff/Slytherin dynamic was impossible to resist.