The ocean is pussy and the tide is high

They/them lesbian, 23. I just reblog funnies, really.

[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[dambiex]

[wizardpotions]

Goodbye white people no more cheeseboard

[agooodpuppydog]

[fjordojustice]

What have white people ever done to deserve this?

[sourcreammachine]

History - Wikipedia

History - Wikipedia

[queermasculine]

i guess i'll go fuck myself (skips away merrily)

[maculategiraffe]

it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good

for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade

[bogleech]

In the novelizations of the original two Resident Evil games, which came out before the series left Raccoon City or Umbrella corp, the author's own justification for all this was that the puzzles were commissioned by the same paranoid rich CEO who gave bored company engineers and scientists limitless budget and creative control to protect his evil secrets as obtusely as possible. So basically a delusional billionaire gathered a bunch of amoral computer nerds and told them "while you're farming artisinal lizard demons for the army, I need you to make it as confusing and difficult as you possibly can for anyone to get in and out of my office alive" and I guess their autism lit up like a blazing star with a free ticket to design a real world lucasarts adventure game. This is implied later in the book to be exactly the reason why none of them made it out alive.

[grox]

Eat strawberrys and touch yo self disease

[64mpg]

i’m on onion rings right now

[64mpg]

get me my keys NOW

[3000s]

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

[3000s]

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

[pissvortex]

Christians when they die and go to science instead of heaven

[gorjee-art]

House of Leaves fans, lend me your theories. How much do you think that the Book is true? This is totally not me taking data.

[gorjee-art]

[noisytenant]

Arachnophobia Mode added to hallucinations from real life

[noisytenant]

now big colorful circles with googly eyes crawl on you and walk around in the corners of your vision for no reason

[aflo]

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

[eridan-ampora]

my tea bag broke

[schmenty]

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

[eridan-ampora]

what the fuck ARE you talking about

[klapollo]

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

[klapollo]

[cutecipher]

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

[sacred-portal]

[frogmoss1]

weewee the stowaway

[frogmoss1]

wevrybody loves you weewee.

[frogmoss1]

Weewee slayyy 🫶

[papasmoke]

I just want you all to know i am planning to drive across the country to steal this street sign and hang it over my toilet

[zitongzi]

Dont announced your crimes over unsecured channels dumbass

[papasmoke]

I've spent the past month cooped up in a motel in Orange County planning my theft, before I steal the sign I will set off a cache of fireworks I've placed 5 blocks away from the nearest police station which will rain down on the pigs, the perfect diversion.

[eroscestlavie]

look at tony holding his little Cuck Goblet while thor’s entire pussy pops loud enough to break the sound barrier next to him. we do stan. 

[chimpanzeedotcom]

This is the only marvel post I will ever reblog it’s making me go insane

[minttttttttttttttttttttttttttt]

sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me