How to Start Being a Hotwife
I have been asked several times how I made the leap into being a Hotwife, and how others can broach the topic with thier ladies. There really isn’t one single answer for this, but I can say that it all begins with trust, love and a relationship where both people are open in sharing their fantasies.
If you think there is a magic solution that will automatically get your lady to take the leap, or that all wives (girlfriends) will accept this lifestyle, you may be disappointed. For a good majority of women, the idea of their man wanting “give them away” is scary and foreign. It can feel like there is a lack of love and care, when in fact it’s usually the opposite. You know you’ll love and want your lady more if she does this, but she doesn’t know.
So how do you start? The answer is slowly… Begin in a fun, light way. Suggest a game where you sit with your partner and talk about fantasies in general. Listen to her fantasies and don’t judge. Be open about your interest in the idea of jealousy being a turn on, and explain that just the idea of your lady being flirtatious with another guy is a huge turn on… because you’re proud of her, you love her and she turns you on so much. Tell her how the idea of “taking her back” from another man is an insane turn on - because women want to know their man is protective and willing to fight for them - and also how the idea of her having sexual freedom and then choosing to come back to you is also something that makes you feel loved and secure and makes her sexier because of her independence and empowerment.
Here’s the important part… she’s probably not going to understand right away and you don’t want to push things. Be ready to fulfill HER fantasies (even if they’re mild, romance based things that don’t make you hard or want to fuck her senseless…just do it and continue to do it) and then suggest that you SLOWLY explore yours. Suggest something easy, like going to a bar and seeing her flirt with another man, or maybe - if she’s open - that you start a shared Tumblr where you each share fantasies and empower her to flirt by chat with other men. Show her the “realistic” stories and memes on Hotwife-ing and avoid the crazy or over the top ones.
The trick (though I hate that term) is to take baby steps, realize that if your lady is even willing to try this stuff at all, she is a gem, and that if you push her she’ll likely get scared. When my man suggested this the first time I didn’t understand, but he was patient, understanding, listened to me, and over the course of 6 to 8 months I got closer to being comfortable. By the time I had my first “date”, we had talked about all the ramifications, turn ons and emotionally challenging issues in depth. I knew he wasn’t “tricking me” and that he would still love and respect me afterwards, and that was huge for me.
So, it takes time, patience and a lot of willingness to honestly share and listen. It takes you being willing to try as hard for her as she does for you. But it’s worth it…even if you never fully dive into the big stuff (or if it only happens a few times), your relationship will be stronger for it.
Enjoy your partner…love her and empower her. Make her feel like she is the only woman in the world that matters to you or really turns you on, and she will be your fantasy lover.
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