Owlrageous Jones

Author of the 'hit' new webnovel, Aspirations of a Future Househusband. Please read it. Please. Unabashedly problematic.

[owlrageousjones]

I know it's basically tradition to say 'Tumblr's collapsing for real this time!' and we all just kind of shrug and go 'First time?', but you know.

Better safe than sorry.

I do have a bsky at https://bsky.app/profile/owlrageousjones.bsky.social

I don't really use it, but it's there.

[sophsun1]

The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

[soundoftheirwings]

Gotta tell you guys something wild in the Chinese fan sphere

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

And that is how this charity received over 1 million in donations in three days lol. Oh btw the “freedom of expression” side won by a landslide (960k to 40k)

[oakskull]

based on

[ashubii]

This is why I have TikTok

[empathviv]

Gay Winston from Overwatch: Excuse me for... being gay

[brainless-moe-white-lotus]

He doesn't need a fucking excuse honey that's the point of PRIDE Winston !!!!

[empathviv]

PROUD Gay Winston: Did somebody say... penis?

[charaznablescanontoyota]

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

[ryannorth]

much to consider

[maculategiraffe]

it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good

for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade

[havannanocaute]

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[victusinveritas]

[skarchomp]

Call out post for those confounded Dover boys!!!!!!

I HATE TOM

I HATE DICK

I HATE LARRY

[skarchomp]

Delete this post, Dan Backslide

[skarchomp]

Delete this post, Dan Backslide

[skarchomp]

Delete this post, Dan Backslide

[skarchomp]

Hey, we’ve been doing this for a full decade!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

extra crazy to see people swinging so hard for big corporate copyright lawsuits on tumblr dot com tbh. alright girl whateverrrrr, I hope the lawyers come for your favorite fan artist next if you're so in favor of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

you're all frothing at the mouth for a queer climate activist getting sued now but oooh just wait until you can't order astarion keychains and baby yoda plushies and whatever the fuck else off etsy anymore

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I guess in light of all the feedback I've been receiving tonight I'm going to turn over a new leaf and become a good citizen who defends copyright law. first up is snitching out the nice lady at the local farmers market who sells crochet pokemon plushies, I want to see nintendo sue that cunt into the ground

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

in conclusion I've never felt this post more strongly

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

unprecedented stances developing in the replies... it's environmentalist praxis to only buy officially licensed merch...

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

#wouldnt call them an activist but any siding with corporations over this is such bullshit lmao

how is Pattie Gonia not an activist? they've raised millions in funds for various charities, they co-founded an entire nonprofit to help foster community in nature for marginalized folks, they do tons of environmental education and work to raise awareness about climate change... like what else do you want?

[zzoupz]

nevada

[the-semicolonoscopy]

It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

Time for the annual Pride Month reblog of Freddie Mercury and his fabulous cats!

[goshdanghowdy]

Happy pride to my gf and my gf only, none of you others deserve it

[goshdanghowdy]

Happy pride to my gf and my gf only, none of you others deserve it

[goshdanghowdy]

Happy pride to my gf and my gf only, none of you others deserve it

[goshdanghowdy]

Happy pride to my fiance and my fiance only, none of you others deserve it

[elf-kid2]

Does anyone else think that Lucrezia Mongfish has, perhaps, become a parody of herself?

People who knew her 20 years ago-- Klaus, the Jaegermonsters, Prince Aaronev Sturmvoraus, the newly ascendant Rat Queen, etc-- say she was always like this. They testify that they're not surprised she turned out to be the one who devestated Europa with aerial bombardments and horrific Mind-Control Wasps.

And yet.

I can't help but think, she wasn't always like this.

Once upon a time, she was one woman, with one physical body. She was a brilliantly powerful spark, and she wasn't afraid to lie, steal, copy notes, and cheat to get ahead, on top of that.

She had at least 3 powerful men wrapped around her finger-- Agatha got some of that Rizz from her Mom's side, but Lucrezia was actively trying to seduce and manipulate the boys, and play them against each other.

Let's say the Heterodyne Boys were actively doing heroics for about 25ish years, before it all went wrong. Bill would've been in his 40s when he finally got married.

Lucrezia Mongfish would've been in her 40s when she got married. She's still beautiful, still desired, still healthy-- but time marches on, relentlessly.

Pouting at her Daddy to come help his favorite daughter... It just isn't cute anymore.

Castle Heterodyne was no doubt glad that Bill finally brought a wife home, but I'm sure that it ALSO encouraged him & Barry to open the Seraglio for some younger models, if she didn't produce a healthy Heterodyne Heir or five fast enough.

.

Lucrezia Mongfish wanted Eternal Youth. She wanted to be "Forever 21." She wanted that Second Breakthrough, that ascendance that was promised to her when the Geisterdamen called her Goddess.

But she's in her 40's, and she's shipped off Klaus so he won't cause trouble, and Aaronev's hair is thinning and he's looking at a political marriage, and she has the Heterodyne, but Mechanicsburg does not LOVE HER.

She is a Spark, and she is brilliant and ambitious and determined, and she has been studying mind-manilulation and transferance for years. She finds a Muse, in the catacombs of the ancient Heterodynes, and she successfully transfers a mind from machine to flesh, with the personality intact.

I'm sure there were many test-subjects, and many experiments, before she was ready to try it on herself.

I think something went wrong.

.

Lucrezia Mongfish was once a woman with a singular body, with a heartbeat and breath, and appetites for cake, for sex, for power, for love, for adoration, for music, for jewels... She wanted it all.

But she still had to sleep, and hydrate. Take bathroom breaks. Experience boredom, and itches, the relief of removing restrictive garments, the minor pleasures and frustrations of being alive.

Then she made herself into a bodiless ghost, distilled "essence" that could-- in theory-- jump from host to host, or take on MANY bodies., so that she would never have to age, and never have to die.

Something went wrong, of course.

There are fewer compatible hosts than you'd think, out there. Her brilliant machines are delicate, finicky, and the processes were executed imperfectly by her devoted followers.

She wanted to turn back the hands of time. She found herself adrift, trapped outside of it, for untold ages. Stuck in a box, going insane, with nobody to rescue her from her own bad decisions.

She wanted a brand-new body-- but this one is inelegant, that one can't hold a Spark, this one is missing some parts-- like skin, or taste buds, or a foot-- and that one isn't PRETTY ENOUGH!

She's throwing a tantrum. She is the ghost of A Woman With Appetites, but she no longer exists in a body that can crave cake, or sex, or water, or sleep. She has the distorted memory of an emptiness inside, and she must force everyone to love her, to adore her, to OBEY HER EVERY WHIM so that she can feel right again.

She used to hunt cats for fun, on her family estate. Her father taught her to respond to pain by spreading it around. She was spoiled, and played both Wicked Schemer and Damsel In Distress, for longer than she should've gotten away with it.

Was she like Zola? Was she like Sephie?

Who was Lucrezia Mongfish, when she was a young woman with a father, and sisters, and a mother who is never mentioned, friends and frenemies and rivals from University, and dozens of handsome young suitors to choose from?

Who was Lucrezia, when she was no longer quite as young, when she was married, when she was pregnant with her second child, and ready to take the plunge towards Immortality?!

Would she recognize the person, the ghost, the demonic legion, that she has become?