Today, You're My Little Bitch.

Mel. Enjoy the crazy multi-fandom madness that is my life and blog.

[micdotcom]

Watch: Leslie Jones remembers all the moments in her life more embarrassing than being hacked

[thecosmicheaux-blog]

This got me in the spirit

[multigloria]

someone: supergirl can’t like lena, she has liked boys before 

me, a bisexual:

someone: can you believe andrew garfield said he wanted spiderman to get a boyfriend, i mean he had a girlfriend in the past, he can’t be gay 

me, a bisexual:

someone: steve rogers can’t be with bucky, he dated peggy, he is obviously straight

me, a bisexual:

someone: what do you mean wonderwoman is bisexual? she had a boyfriend

me, a bisexual:

someone: this character is straight because he/she only has been with people of the opposite gender

me, a bisexual:

[alongfalltothetop-deactivated20]

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

[curiowitch]

[lllidari]

havin a crush on someone and not knowing if they like you back

[rosesareray]

having a crush on someone and knowing they don’t like you back

[slumberblues]

someone having a crush on you and you don’t like them back

[lamxntable]

having a mutual friend crush

[whoslo-deactivated20170112]

having a crush on someone who likes you back but “the timing isn’t right”

[smokeeconduit]

crushes

[driftsixfour]

getting crushed by traffic

[padfoot-padewan]

Me: my sexuality doesn't define me.

Someone: hey how are you?

Me: gay

[whiskey-gunpowder]

[unmooredonasundayevening]

conservatives get offended by the weirdest shit

[stinson-png-deactivated20210103]

imagine masculinity so fragile that you can’t even touch your own face

[brachial-saur-blog]

If you touch a man’s face it’s Gay. Even your own face. Gay face-touching has infected the youth of America.

[durendoll]

it’s important to master blood magic and necromancy, so you can make use of the whole body

[durendoll]

environmentally sustainable black magic

[sparrow-va]

Remember, Necromancy is really just Advanced Recycling

[personal-insane-asylum]

@theaceofruin

[asexualbrigadier]

[astrophagy]

            “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

[immaplatypus]

oh, hello there new follower! very nice to meet you

??? okay that’s weird, and they followed one after the other. maybe the same person has two viking blogs? but why would a viking blog be following m–

w h a t

[immaplatypus]

OKAY WHAT THE HECK I WAS WONDERING WHY THIS SIMPLE ASK GOT SO MANY NOTES AND THEN

THERE ARE MORE

W H Y  A R E  T H E R E  M O R E

[stalker-among-the-stars]

Are these the new porn bots? Viking Bots?

[officialearthbound-deactivated2]

GIMMIE THE VIKING BOTS

[youtubeandsatan]

reblog in 15 seconds or you will never be followed by a blessed viking bot

[thescienceofjohnlock]

I want Viking blogs!

[nerdywallflower19-deactivated20]

[blackmalehair]

View this post on Instagram

IG: lexitelevision

[malikthaelite]

This was literally a SPIRITUAL experience. 😭🙌🏾

[jehovahhthickness]

I tell my sister to post videos like this because she can sing her face off and she acts just like this …. but she don’t wanna listen to me.

[teamrocketing]

this gay couple on the night train had actual chickens with them and i was certain i hallucinated it until i found the pictures just now

[brucebocchi]

[umistakeme-forstraight-deactiva]

Don’t shame the girls who sent pictures of themselves half-naked to their significant others as a way to express eroticism which is healthy and natural… give the people hell who think it’s okay to destroy someone’s trust and distribute those images simply for entertainment purposes. 

[saintlaurentgirl-deactivated201]

*me to the bartender* i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it

[lizzy-bennet]

Deleted Leia sass from The Empire Strikes Back

[ragnell]

Leia, you were scheduled for execution.

[imaginarycircus]

She had it under control.