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$LAYYYTER
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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KIROKAZE
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@panickedmartian
being a boring uncool insane mutual is a hard job but someone's got to do it
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit
I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."
Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."
“matchear no!” has to be one of the funniest punchlines of all time
sorry I forgor it’s matchear dont!
my favorite dril thing is when he'll just RT something from an account that hasn't posted in six years and it's clear he just came up with a stupid @ and checked to see if anyone had it
also as a 22yr old who has been on tumblr basically daily for the last six years or so
i’m thinking it’s time to start weaning myself off of this goddamn shitstorm of a website
how’s that going bestie
Sometimes time stamps really do add to the joke
I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"
basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.
she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.
if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.
because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.
a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.
instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.
she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.
when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍
Mix a White Gilgamesh
TWO THIRDS BEER 🍻
ONE THIRD MILK 🥛 FROM A GOAT OR OF ITS ILK 🐐
Inspired by this post from @maamlet
TWO THIRDS MILK AND ONE THIRD BEER TASTES LIKE PISS NO THANK YOU DEAR BAD GILGAMESH YOU FUCKED IT UP BAD GILGAMESH IT TASTE LIKE GLUP
HOW TO UNREGISTER FROM NBA DRAFT
I DONT WANT TO PLAY
HOW TO DODGE NBA DRAFT
i only run a blog because im not getting gay kissed once i get gay kissed on the regular tumblr is dead to me
couldn’t find the og post so here’s a screenshot
update: it’s autism
Sharing space is nothing new. Sharing bathrooms is nothing new. The reactionary outrage is so manufactured.
The parking lot? As in the gender neutral parking lot? As in a place where you have no privacy?
These are the bathrooms at the airport in question:
As you can see, complete privacy for all waste-expulsion activities. You only encounter other people around the sink.
This just proves a point that I’ve repeatedly noticed and it’s that every time a bathroom goes gender neutral it gets about a hundred percent safer.
I distinctly remember coming back from college to find that they’d converted the two of the bathrooms into all-gender restrooms. Among the changes were doors that went all the way up and down, a locking mechanism within the door, and actual door handles. Even the single-occupancy bathroom got a wall for extra privacy.
In contrast, I remember the women’s bathrooms in my old school. They were broken as shit. Some doors needed to be held by a friend, some doors you held with your foot from inside. The wheelchair-accessible bathroom straight up did not have a door at all. And yet we all pretended this was okay because hey, the womanly honor code. You think that shit would have flown if there were two gender-neutral restrooms?
All I’m saying is that if I were fleeing a predator or wanted to be absolutely sure I was private, which one would be the better option? The one that assumes that a “no penises allowed” sign will be enough? Or the one that actually, physically protects me?
yuri is when there’s themes and motifs and yaoi is when there’s two blokes who do fuck all. if you reblog this you love trans people
has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment
just saw a single piece of paper drift past 50 feet in the air over buildings like a beautiful white bird