
#extradirty
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Janaina Medeiros

JBB: An Artblog!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
styofa doing anything
taylor price

Origami Around
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
🪼
Not today Justin
todays bird
will byers stan first human second

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Sade Olutola

seen from France

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@pantheramorag
If you’re one of those people who thinks executive dysfunction only happens for things we don’t like (school, cleaning,) then please consider the fact that I’ve been meaning to plug my phone in for 20 minutes and I’m now at 2% and still putting it off to write this post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My anime/video game list consists of over 100 titles, easily, and yet I almost never get around to watching/playing any of them.
Executive dysfunction is not just for boring or unenjoyable things. It’s for everything. Even eating.
What is executive dysfunction? O.o
Put simply, it’s difficulty/inability with initiating tasks. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive functions, like decision-making and impulse control. People with ADHD and other neurological disorders that affect the prefrontal cortex often experience difficulty making decisions and performing tasks, as well as exercising self restraint. Part of why people with ADHD tend to procrastinate so badly is out of genuine inability to begin tasks, even if they’re very important.
It feels, for me at least, like I’m constantly waiting for something and I can’t start X task because I’m waiting. I never know what exactly I’m waiting for, but that doesn’t stop me from wasting hours and days not doing the things I need to do, even if I have a desire to do them.
It feels, for me at least, like I’m constantly waiting for something and I can’t start X task because I’m waiting. I never know what exactly I’m waiting for, but that doesn’t stop me from wasting hours and days not doing the things I need to do, even if I have a desire to do them.
Oh thank god, someone put it into words.
For me it’s also waiting for the “right” time to come to complete the task because for some reason my brain thinks doing the task at any other time is horribly, horribly wrong, weird, and out of order. The “right” time might come eventually, might not. It’s a lottery.
IDK if you guys are following the current trashfire over on twitter, but there’s this new group who are trying to “encourage” authors to stop focusing on “political messages” or “complaining about world events” and “steer the sci-fi/fantasy community of creators away from the bickering and fighting over non- sci-fi/fantasy issues and back to just creating wonderful new stories”. They’re explicitly aspiring to form a space where “all viewpoints are welcome and valued” (translation: “You know, I think we should hear out the Nazis, maybe they have some good arguments”). Also they’re sympathetic to the Sad Puppies. Also they called my agent a cancer on SFF. :DDDDDDDDD ENJOY THE THREAD.
Okay I already put this in my tags but if anyone gets whiff of a book they claim has no socio-political commentary/is free of Discourse, tell me? And I swear I will read it and I will take great pleasure in ripping it and their precious fucking theory into pieces.
me: I wish I had more friends
also me: *doesn’t reply to anyone’s messages, gets stressed out at the thought of simple social interaction, imagines romantic evenings alone with my netflix account
oh my goodness I’m laughing this was supposed to go to my drafts folder
I think one of my major problems with media that deals heavily in themes of good and evil is that my formative years contained Terry Pratchett’s work which just blew my head clean off and put it back on my shoulders a little more firmly and then told me “there are no heroes, no legends, no miracles, just you. It’s you against the darkness and the metaphorical wolves at the door…better bloody do something about that then, hadn’t we”.
Fantasy • Destroy by LIGHT GYZJ
A climate change journalist talks about climate change induced despair
“You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become” - Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
it’s seasonal lads
IT’S SEASONAL AGAIN LADS
Notification - Sender unknown
I was sitting in the sofa, half-way watching the latest Jimquisition on the big screen, while checking up on the newest twitter controversy with my recently bought Lenovo Yoga 720 (got it half-price on the black Friday sale) when a notification popped up in the bottom right corner:
*plop*
I didn’t murder anyone today
Heh, that’s a pretty weird message to get out-of-context. I absentmindedly wondered who’d start a conversation with such an unique statement.
*plop*
gonna try harder next week
Okeey.. That was definitely a bit off. Which one of my friends could be messaging me about this, and why? Are they commenting on a video game? I moused down to open Discord when I realised it wasn’t there.
Not that it wasn’t open, there was no icon. I hadn’t installed Discord on this pc yet.
So where was the messages coming from? I opened windows’ action center, but the sidebar only displayed one sentence -
“no new notifications”.
Maybe it’s Skype? I didn’t activate my Skype account, and I haven’t used it in years, but it is a part of my windows id, and I had to log in when I set-up the Lenovo after all. I quickly opened the settings menu and uninstalled Skype. Can’t stand that program anyway.
**
I didn’t get any more notifications after that, so I assumed it had just been some random Skype spam. By the next week I’d almost forgotten it happened, only documented by my twitter feed - jokingly theorising I’d mistakenly intercepted a message from a serial killer.
Supergreatfriend was maneuvering in and out of some very selective elevators on the latest wild goose chase in Shenmue 2 when it popped up again.
killed my first one today, human
The same unknown sender, another ominous text. My nerves were instantly flaring, my hairs standing on end. This shouldn’t be happening, I uninstalled Skype. I checked the Discord icon on my task bar, downloaded and installed during the last week. It was inactive. I started the app up to check, but there was no new notifications. I quickly clicked through my direct messages and then scrolled through the servers I followed. Nothing.
*plop*
he got up but I knocked him down with a rock
No. It has to be coming from somewhere. It must! I switched back to Chrome and quickly closed the Youtube tab. Maybe it had been a comment notification from that? Or maybe Twitter? Tumblr? I hastily closed every tab, and then Chrome for good measure. There was no more options. No more twisted, unknown messages.
*plop*
the fall didn’t do it, but the spike did
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! It’s not stopping, this is so freaky. I opened the start menu as fast as I could - shut down, shut down now!
Slamming the lid closed, I flung the netbook next to me in the sofa. Something had to be wrong with the win 10 install.
I should do a factory reset.
***
Keep reading
a trope subversion
when noblewomen try to refuse an arranged marriage, it’s always because the man is “fat, old, and ugly.”
someday i will write a princess refusing to marry a young and beautiful prince because he’s cruel and stupid. choosing instead to marry a king who is fat, old, and ugly, but also sensible and a good statesman, because she knows her marriage is a political alliance and she can always get her jollies with pretty courtiers if it comes to that. “my petticoats are full of politics,” she will say. “my royal booty is much too important to waste on handsome jerks.”
the business of getting an heir is awkward, because her husband tends to act like an indulgent uncle and that’s not at all sexy. but he’s happy to mentor her in statecraft, knowing his age means he’ll leave her in an awkward position. when he does die, they’ve solidified her standing enough that she can rule in her own right.
her second marriage is for love. as a stately middle-aged queen, she can marry prince charming, and make him prince consort rather than king. his gentle nature makes him a fine diplomat, and he’s not inclined to try taking power.
her daughter, raised by political maestros, never marries at all. she handles power with such a deft hand that she can name a well-educated cousin as heir and take him to apprentice without more than token grumblings from the nobility.
and that, i say, closing the storybook, is how our kingdom came to elect its royalty from a pool of candidates based on aptitude scores. now go to sleep.
I FOUND IT GUYS I SPENT HALF AN HOUR LOOKING FOR THIS VIDEO AND ITS HERE
Always reblog peent.
*before clicking play*: IS THIS WHAT i THINK IT IS???
*clicks play*: IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg!! omg
Forever reblog.
Heaven let your eent shine down.
SOUND ON.
My husband is a good man, and a good feminist ally. I could tell, as I walked him through it, that he was trying to grasp what I was getting at. But he didn’t. He said he’d try to do more cleaning around the house to help me out. He restated that all I ever needed to do was ask him for help, but therein lies the problem. I don’t want to micromanage housework. I want a partner with equal initiative. However, it’s not as easy as telling him that. My husband, despite his good nature and admirable intentions, still responds to criticism in a very patriarchal way. Forcing him to see emotional labor for the work it is feels like a personal attack on his character. If I were to point out random emotional labor duties I carry out—reminding him of his family’s birthdays, carrying in my head the entire school handbook and dietary guidelines for lunches, updating the calendar to include everyone’s schedules, asking his mother to babysit the kids when we go out, keeping track of what food and household items we are running low on, tidying everyone’s strewn about belongings, the unending hell that is laundry—he would take it as me saying, “Look at everything I’m doing that you’re not. You’re a bad person for ignoring me and not pulling your weight.” Bearing the brunt of all this emotional labor in a household is frustrating. It’s the word I hear most commonly when talking to friends about the subject of all the behind-the-scenes work they do. It’s frustrating to be saddled with all of these responsibilities, no one to acknowledge the work you are doing, and no way to change it without a major confrontation. “What bothers me the most about having any conversation around emotional labor is being seen as a nag,” says Kelly Burch, a freelance journalist who works primarily from home. “My partner feels irritated and defensive by the fact that I’m always pointing out what he’s not doing. It shuts him down. I understand why it would be frustrating from his perspective, but I haven’t figured out another way to make him aware of all the emotional and mental energy I’m spending to keep the house running.”
Stop Calling Women Nags — How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality (via thatdiabolicalfeminist)
Men, if these ideas are new to you, here’s a whole thread to introduce you to some of the work that’s been invisibly done for you when you’ve lived with women, and the way it affects women to have to do it alone. I recommend working through it at your own pace and challenging the defensiveness as it crops up to block your view.
If you make a genuine effort to learn from this and to start taking back some of this work, you’re going to see a slow but drastic improvement in your understanding of and relationships with the women in your life.
(via organicgold)
Do I have any followers with ADHD? Or does anyone have some really good information on it? I want to write a character who has ADHD but I don’t know anything about it except the basics so I’m looking to educate myself. Any help beyond a wiki article would appreciated!
Friends, what would you like to see in an ADHD character?
One thing I gleefully identify with is the level of restless frustration experienced by BBC’s Sherlock during boredom (not that Sherlock is necessarily ADHD - let’s not open that diagnostic nightmare of a discussion please!).
I would like to see more of a struggle with internal noise shown in media. Often I see the bouncy, silly outsider view of the disorder and I would greatly appreciate seeing a wider range of symptoms/experiences, including the ones that make us want to pull out our hair. For me, off medication, being in a room where I am required to be silent, still, and focusing is basically my own personal hell.
It doesn’t at all need to be all doom and gloom, just not squirrel-chasing-8-year-old-boy-stereotype so much please!
First of all, philosophium, thanks for asking!
I’m glad ADHD community replied, because they’re a good source of facts about ADHD presented from an ADHD perspective. So, you learn some of what you’d get in a psych textbook, but also what it feels like from the inside.
If you’re really starting from zero, this Buzzfeed article is a nice place to start.
Here’s some miscellaneous information about ADHD that will hopefully help you write more accurate, and less stereotypical, characters.
1) We’re Not All Extraverted, Hyper, Happy Go Lucky Males. We can be male or female, child or adult. I’d love to see an introverted, non-hyperactive ADHD character, ideally a male one. Or an ADHD character who obsessively overthinks, and is prone to anxiety and perfectionism.
2) Look at Both Extremes. In real life, some people with ADHD can only multitask while others can only hyperfocus. Some people with ADHD can focus on the details while ignoring the big picture, others see the big picture brilliantly but miss all the details, while others can bounce back and forth but can’t see both at the same time. Some of us are laid back and prefer to go with the flow, while others react to their disabilities by becoming extremely perfectionistic and trying to plan everything ahead of time (me). Some of us have IQ in the gifted range (see “need for stimulation”), while others have low IQ or severe developmental delays (children who are born prematurely, have lead poisoning, or who have fetal alcohol syndrome often have ADHD). Almost all the people I know with ADHD are artists, scientists, or both.
3) ADHD Is a Disability of Executive Function. Executive function is a confusing mess of tasks performed by the frontal lobe that allow us to control our behavior and respond flexibly and optimally to a changing environment. Some executive functions include working memory, inhibition (i.e., stopping oneself from doing or thinking something), task switching, sustained attention, planning, decision making, prioritizing, prospective memory.
4) We Can Pay Attention, We Just Can’t Regulate It. We can focus for hours on something that interests us, or on procrastinating. We’re not good at focusing on things that we find boring or that don’t matter to us. We also aren’t good at controlling the amount of attention we pay. This is how our attention works:
5) ADHD is a Production Problem, Not a Learning Problem. A lot of us excel at getting information into our brains, especially when it interests us. The difficulty is producing something that shows what we’ve learned by a deadline–be it a paper, a presentation, or a project. For some of us, the hardest part of any assignment is finishing it and turning it in on time in the correct format. If we can do these things, we’ll probably get an A; if we can’t, we’ll probably fail. As a result, the idea of “gradating your effort” doesn’t apply well to us (telling us to “stop being so perfectionistic and do the minimum” makes no sense to us), and our achievement can be all-or-nothing.
6) We Don’t All Get Bad Grades, Or Misbehave in School. Those of us who are smart, learn easily, and are interested in school can get good grades until the demands for organized, well-formatted, and on-time work overwhelm our abilities to produce (see #5). Those with inattentive ADHD, when bored, tend to daydream, look out the window, or draw rather than misbehave. Teachers might not notice these students at all–or might even see them as well-behaved and a joy to teach.
7) Need for Stimulation. As ADHD community said, an ADHD character who is wildly intelligent, and when bored, feels as if they’re in a sensory deprivation tank. Boredom is Chinese water torture. Each second is a drop of water. How we react to this varies. Some are constantly bored and highly aware of their search for stimulation. Others, like me, think they’re never bored because they’ve become very good at keeping themselves occupied. I always carried a book to read and a sketchbook to draw in with me, and I would read even while crossing the street. Only when I needed to learn to cook did I realize I can get bored within literally 10 seconds.
8) Sometimes, what’s “hard” or “complex” is easy for us, and what’s “easy” or “simple” for others is hard for us. Especially if we’re also gifted. See: http://neurodiversitysci.tumblr.com/post/12568168808/the-complex-is-simple-the-simple-complexif
9) Memory Problems. I’d like to see an ADHD character who has a terrible memory, and struggles with the psychological/identity consequences of that and not just the academic ones. They’re constantly writing things down, and constantly worrying about how to organize the record of their life, or about what would happen if it were destroyed in a fire/flood/other accident. The most impaired form of memory, though, is prospective memory, the ability to remember what you are going to do. Memory problems are some of my worst ADHD traits, yet I rarely see them discussed.
10) Paradoxes of Reminders and Clutters. Because of our memory problems, you might think the answer is simple: just put post-it notes everywhere. And indeed, even other ADHD-ers often advise us to use colorful post-it notes and put them everywhere. However, visual clutter shuts our brains off, so we stop looking at these post it notes and reminders–or even look right at them and don’t register their existence. Another version: if items aren’t visible, I forget that they exist. (For example, I forget about food in the back of the refrigerator until it goes bad; I forget about clothes in the corner of the closet). But if too many things are visible, I stop being able to see them. They just look like clutter, an undifferentiated “bunch of stuff” to me. It would seem like the answer is to get rid of as much stuff as possible, but the decisions involved take hours and leave me exhausted.
11) The Paradox of Routines/Habits: Habits help us function despite our inability to remember what we’re supposed to be doing and our tendency to get sidetracked in the middle. That’s because habits require no thought, attention, or memory–we do them automatically.
The problem is, it’s almost impossible for us to make the habit in the first place because we can’t consistently remember to do it. So, you get people with ADHD who forget to take their medication for the very reasons they need it in the first place.
12) Inconsistency. An ADHD character whose functioning is inconsistent from day to day and so feels he/she can’t rely on him/herself. There’s a lot of research on this “intra-individual variability” and indeed, it ranks among the most consistently-found traits found in both children and adults.
13) When we’re exhausted or overwhelmed, or a life crisis happens, we can stop being able to do basic things we used to be able to do. Maybe we used to be able to get to work/school on time, remember when assignments were due, or have a consistent morning routine. Now we’re no longer able to get out of the house on time, remember our assignments, or remember to take our medicine or brush our teeth in the morning. When this happens to me, I realize how much energy and attention I’m putting into doing “basic” things and wonder when I’ll ever “get them under control” so I can focus on learning new things.
14) Slow or Inconsistent Processing Speed. We don’t always talk fast and display high energy (I wish!). Some of us struggle with fatigue and slow processing speed (see: Sluggish Cognitive Tempo, a proposed subtype of Inattentive ADHD). For example, I usually feel mentally and emotionally tired–I feel after a full night’s sleep the way most people do after three or four hours of sleep. The more tired I feel, the more difficulty I have concentrating, multitasking, remembering to do things, and making decisions. This is one reason why stimulants and even wakefulness medications can help. Some people, like me, have inconsistent processing speed. Sometimes I think and talk so fast it irritates others, I find what’s happening around us boring (think of the world’s longest meeting), and I interrupt others. Other times, I am just about to answer someone’s question when they irritably repeat themselves or ask why I’m taking so long to answer. It feels like I’m thinking and talking at the normal speed, but others’ reactions make clear that we’re going much faster or slower than they are. Our relative strengths and weaknesses can affect when we think faster vs. slower than normal. For example, I finished the verbal portion of the SAT and checked my answers multiple times halfway through the time limit. I then had to sit there, bored, until the time was up. On the other hand, I ran out of time on the math section before I could check my work.
15) Some of us are socially awkward penguins, not graceful adrenaline junkies. There’s a stereotype that we’re adrenaline junkies who perform surgeries and jump out of planes. Or, we’re social butterflies who compensate for our school difficulties by playing class clown or making friends with everyone. But some of us are physically or socially awkward. Socially, lapses in attention can make us say things that come off as awkward or rude. Our poor sense of timing and inconsistent processing speed can throw off our conversational rhythm, making us interrupt–or just appear odd. Many of us also have motor coordination delays and difficulties (and research bears this out). As kids, we might have had difficulty using scissors, writing, tying our shoes, throwing or catching a ball, or riding a bike. We can have social and/or motor difficulties without meeting criteria for autism spectrum disorder. (Although a lot of people with ADHD have autism, too–see below).
16) Anxiety. Most of us develop anxiety, for all sorts of reasons. We’re prone to overthinking, to begin with. We have to worry about others misunderstanding us and calling us lazy, stupid, flaky, or rude. Some of us develop an exhausting habit of “constant vigilance” because we know of no other way to avoid making ADHD mistakes (losing things, forgetting things, math/writing errors, running late, etc.).
17) Co-occurring conditions. ADHD rarely rides alone. People with ADHD often have dyslexia, math disability, sensory processing disorder, dyspraxia, autism spectrum disorder, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or allergies. Immune system or digestive problems might make us even more inconsistent.
18) Our family members are likely to have ADHD or autism–diagnosed or otherwise. Many people report being diagnosed with ADHD after their own children were diagnosed. Like autism, dyslexia, and other disabilities, ADHD is highly heritable, meaning that it’s highly likely that someone with ADHD traits will have children with the same traits (and their parents probably have them, too). I have a younger brother on the spectrum, and have met a number of other older ADHD sisters with younger autistic brothers. While the gender thing may be a fluke, I have read that ADHD and autism share genetic causes and can run together in families.
19) We have a variety of attitudes towards our ADHD. Some of us see ADHD as uniformly disabling, preventing us from using our talents and passions Other people see ADHD as a gift. People with each of these viewpoints sometimes see the opposite as harmful to people with ADHD. Still others view ADHD as a trait like any other, which can have positive or negative effects depending on how one chooses to use it and what environment one is in. (Personally, I see ADHD, in general, as a set of traits. However, I see mine as mostly negative because they have been impairing me recently and preventing me from pursuing a longstanding dream. I view my ADHD traits as preventing me from using many of my talents and passions. However, there are environments where they’d be less disabling, and I’m currently trying to find them).
20) Being diagnosed and labeled can have good effects, too. There’s a sense of relief, of understanding, of not being broken, of having words for one’s experience. The book title “You mean I’m not lazy, stupid, or crazy?” captures the feeling pretty well, I think. I’ve also written about the benefits of diagnosis and the crappiness of growing up without diagnosis a LOT–see this, this, most of all, this:
“…that sense that there was some mysterious thing wrong with me. (Do you know what it feels like, to carry around a sense that something is wrong with you, always ready to erupt, and not know what’s wrong or why? To have people constantly pointing out when you do something wrong but never acknowledging that mysterious brokenness–pointing out the elephant dung and squished sofa in your living room but never mentioning the elephant or offering to help get it out of your living room? And since no one will talk about the elephant, you have no idea how to get it out of your living room, so you’re just stuck with it there. No one can tell you how to fix what’s broken).”
21) Stimulants don’t necessarily turn you into a zombie. They aren’t necessarily a cure-all, either, and some of us choose not to take them. I have yet to find a medication at a dose I can take daily, because it makes me completely lose my appetite. I only take it during emergencies–high-stakes days where I’m not able to function, and/or due to other health problems acting up, I can’t drink coffee. This isn’t the only side effect. Some people get migraines from stimulants. These medications can also slightly stunt children’s growth.
22) ADHD can be seriously disabling. ADHD looks on the surface like something “everyone deals with,” but as the experiences I’ve described above suggest, it can cause serious problems in school, work, and relationships. The large-scale MTA study, which followed hundreds of girls and boys with ADHD into adulthood, found some poor outcomes, including higher rates of self-injury and mental illness; adolescent substance use; eating disorders; and poorer relationships with peers in adolescence and parents and partners in adulthood. ADHD has also been linked to lower test performance, poorer education and work performance, greater risk of accidents, and obesity. Researchers and the media tend to describe these problems as a result of the ADHD traits themselves, especially impulsivity. But the way we treat people with ADHD probably has a lot to do with the bad outcomes. One contributing factor: many, especially those diagnosed late in life, develop crippling shame and self-hatred.
23) We’re also awesome! People with ADHD can be creative, energetic, passionate, thoughtful, academically skilled, empathetic, entrepreneurial, and more. Famous people in every walk of life have diagnosed ADHD, and many past geniuses have traits. Like other disabilities, ADHD colors how we experience and act in the world, but it does not diminish us or make us less human.
24) Bonus point that doesn’t fit anywhere: I’ve noticed that smart women with ADHD have a very distinctive style of talking. We talk fast, crowding as many ideas into a sentence as possible before we forget what we’re saying. We are trying to pack a lot complicated thoughts into a short amount of time. We veer off on tangents whenever someone says something interesting. If two of us start talking, we can go on for hours and never run out of things to say–and also never return to the topic we started with. To those who do not have ADHD, we sound rambling or incoherent. To other women with ADHD, we make perfect sense and the conversation feels exhilarating, with the energy building increasingly as we talk. We sound incoherent to others but not each other because our thoughts are arranged in a very dense and logical web, but we move through the web in a zig-zagging pattern based on associations instead of a straight line. The zig-zag pattern happens in part because with our short working memory, our span of awareness is extremely short. So we operate on associations; everything reminds us of something else. Other people’s words, objects in the room, and music we hear reminds us of something, but then then we forget what we were talking about before. We’re constantly forgetting what we were talking about or what we were doing in the middle. As a result, some of us have a bad habit of interrupting others in order to get our message out before we forget it.
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! Sorry this was so long…
Pure gold
Well……shit. :/
This is one of the best explanatory lists I have EVER seeen.
… huh.
Well okay then. Fuck.
As someone diagnosed with ADHD at 30, reading that list was so satisfying. Because my diagnosis was a lot of “there are cultural factors, we might misdiagnose you” and of course that was a very distinct possibility because they can only diagnose what they see - and I felt like a fraud every time I mentioned that I might have ADHD.. but the feelings, the inside.. it makes so much sense!
Especially the last point - it’s basically how my sister and i talk all the time.
another thing is rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD tends to be ignored when talking about ADHD, but it’s honestly the worst, most severe, and most impairing part of my ADHD. before i learned about RSD, it was very confusing trying to understand my symptoms. i dint have the time to write more now but i would definitely recommend researching RSD.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I FIND AN ADHD SYMPTOM LIST. I GO “WHAT THE FUCK, THERE’S A REASON FOR THIS?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS, I THOUGHT I WAS JUST A PIECE OF SHIT”. I’VE KNOWN ABOUT MY DIAGNOSIS FOR NINE YEARS
That feel when you want to start laughing maniacally because the ENTIRE LIST OF SYMPTOMS is just describing your life… Especially “We’re constantly forgetting what we were talking about or what we were doing in the middle. As a result, some of us have a bad habit of interrupting others in order to get our message out before we forget it” – aka, every conversation Kellie and I have, and because we’ve been dating for five years now, we have the same bizarre, niche associations, which means our conversations sound extremely nonsensical to people outside our relationship (and I’m really sorry about that, friends).
A neural network tries writing the first sentence of a novel
It’s National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo, for short), which means that writers everywhere are embarking on writing projects - and when you’re faced with a blank page, sometimes it’s just hard to get started.
I wanted to see if I could train a computer program to help. I train computer programs called neural networks to imitate all kinds of human things, from paint colors to Dungeons and Dragons spells to Harry Potter fan fiction to Halloween costumes. All I have to do is give the neural network a long list of examples and it will try its best to teach itself to generate more like them.
So, I decided to give a neural network examples of first sentences of novels, to see if it could generate some that might help writers get started. The main problem turned out to be finding enough examples of first sentences - ideally, I need thousands. I could only find a couple hundred of the most famous lines, and the neural network proceeded to do what it usually does when faced with too little data, which is to give up on trying to understand what’s going on, and instead just try to read it back to me word for word. Think of it like cramming for a test by memorizing instead of learning how to apply rules to solve problems.
So, this is typical of what it generated:
The snow in the story of the best of times, it was the season of Darkness, it was the season of Light, it was the epoch of belief, it was the worst of times, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the season of exploding past of Eller, and Junner, a long sunset side of the World.
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except the station steps; plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of people.
Most didn’t make much sense, and/or were obvious mishmashes of famous lines. A few turned out to be maybe usable, probably by accident:
There was a man and he had seventy first sight.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of my life, fire of my loins.
4 Had come to America from Europe Privet Drive.
The snow is gone sometime, and you said, Why, and I said, To be with the darkness.
It was like the imagination.
It was a wrong number that struggled against the darkness.
It was a dark and stormy night; the swall of the gods?
The moon turned out to see me.
It was a wrong number four Privet Drive.
That’s good thinking: a bowl of the carriage’s parts.
The sky above the present century had reached the snapping point.
Mrs. Can is sitting in the World.
The sheriff returned to the darkness.
It was a wrong number that can never see through a blue-eyed type like me.
I was born in the darkness.
I shall turn to the pop-holes.
(Very minor punctuation edits by me: an “is” here, a semicolon there).
Clearly, the neural network needed help. Where could I get it more data? My searching sent me, unwisely, as it turned out, to the site of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which has over 900 archived first sentences of hypothetical novels. The problem is that it’s a contest to write the worst first sentence. One of the honorable mentions from 2017 was the following:
As he lay dying on the smoke-wreathed battlefield, General Winthrop finally realized the terrible toll the war had taken, and he wondered if the bloodshed had all been for naught as he exhaled his last breath in a sort of “meoooooh,” actually very similar to the sound his cat Mister Jingles made when he wanted some food or was doing that thing with the drapes. - Mike Christensen, Washington, DC
I added them all. It didn’t help.
Stop! I caused the Narguuse man who was new on Alabama, the screaming constipated eggs.
I am an angry grass, the symposium square, proved fatal to the throbbing, the howling wind tire…
The beans suddenly with him in the trunk of an out-of-balance has really dead, then all the time hammered his head in abject puzzlement as a bang, and a head tuxedo-failed law of ghansmothered eyes like a fine that the hell of her supposed by the rain flare of the waterhole where it is in a long was mad.
I have to stop that in the sidewalk aliens while your hands after he had to go in the top of the day a new work our eyes of the pumpkin but stands over another meaning in shortered to the sea, beautifickinary to be like that.
The crust shark began to pull up a small indent directions of the dead old dried and spect of the grassy sure and closed by the same stormy wind - they were always together.
It was a dark and stormy night and the secret being a silver-backed gorilla.
Would you like to help the neural network improve? I successfully crowdsourced a dataset for the Halloween costumes (and have an awesome post coming up soon on some crowdsourced D&D character backstories).
Go to this form (no email necessary) and enter the first line of your novel, or your favorite novel, or of every novel on your bookshelf. You can enter as many as you like. At the end of the month, I’ll hopefully have enough sentences to give this another try.
Rosemary & Thyme - And No Birds Sing (S01E01)
I wonder if there's Rosemary and Thyme shipping. 🤔 Just started rewatching.
Love this series, wish there were more just calm, cozy mystery murder series like this one.
“The Switch” is the first transgender sitcom in history starring trans/non-binary lead cast, this is EVERYTHING
wait wait did I just watch a trailer for a show where a woman gets fired for being trans, loses her apartment and then moves in with her best friend who is an NB… environmental… assassin??
I… I need to watch this show
Okay but this looks hilarious and I wanna watch it
Okay so the first season is already out and they have to sell 100k copies to get the green light for season 2 so go here http://www.welovetheswitch.com and give them your money