[peachmilkmomo]

HAIKYUU EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS: EPISODE 2

TW: slightly NSFW, mentions of penis, low IQ and survival instincts of a shart, everyone is a dork in general.

One time Noya and Tanaka were play fighting and Noya accidentally kicked Tanaka's "lil friend", which Tanaka swore to not let it go without kicking Noya back in the balls.

Somehow the whole thing turned into a contest and whoever takes more kicks in the balls wins. Noya got curious about if this will affect his penis or not -spoiler alert: it's a very bad idea- , so he asked Tanaka to throw a rock at it which ofc Tanaka entertained the ridiculous idea and did it.

After their distructive play date Noya went back home and rubbed a quick one to carry on his "experiment", and to his worst luck, he had a dry orgasm for the first time, which he didn't know was a thing so he thought his dick was permanentally damaged and panicked.

He rushed to Tanaka crying in the middle of the night and told him everything, and that dork joined him in his crying fit because they didn't know what was going on and what to do.

Saeko heard them crying in Tanaka's room and went to check on them, and since Noya trusts her he told her everything.

She decided to pull the nastiest prank and acted shocked, telling them that she knows a guy who did something similar and went totally impotent after a while, and Noya broke down completely.

Next morning when Tanaka was getting ready for school she felt really bad about it because Noya was seriously terrified the night before, so she told Tanaka the truth, explained what a dry orgasm is and told him to tell Noya when he arrives at school.

Tanaka was very delighted by the news so he rushed to school, where Noya was changing in the locker room. He went to deliver the amazing news but he didn't just tell him, he busted in screaming "NOYA SAANNN YOUR DICK ISN'T BROKEN!! YOU CAN STILL HAVE KIDS!!".

This moment Asahi, Daichi, and Sugawara walked in and heard the whole announcement, and Sugawara insisted on knowing the whole context, to which The dumb duo explained to the 3rd year's. Tanaka, Nishinoya, and sugawara were hollering while Daichi wanted to burn his ear off, and Asahi was genuinely scared for their mental health but he didn't say anything beside warning them to not do such risky stuff again and congratulating Noya for "still working".

The story doesn't end here. During one of the practice breaks Hinata noticed that Noya's eyes were red and puffy so he mumbled: "is Noya San okay?", and Sugawara heard him so he leaned in and whispered: "I'll tell you but you gotta keep this a secret", Hinata of course agreed.

Sugawara started whisper-telling the whole thing to Hinata when suddenly Hinata yelled: "SAY WHAATT?? NOYA SAN GOT NEUTERED??!!!", and suddenly the whole gym went quiet.

Noya'a eyes went as wide as a plate.

Sugawara's face went pale.

Tsukishima burst in laughter.

Yamaguchi was trying to hold his laugh in in case the whole thing was real.

Shimizu played dumb.

Yachi turned crimson.

Ukai said in the most uninterested tone: "As expected".

Takeda just left the gym in silence.

Noya fell to his knees and face palmed while yelling: "NOOO MY REPUTATION!! NOT IN FRONT OF KIYOKO SAN!!"

Sugawara ended up needing to explain the whole thing to everyone in order to save what's left of Nishinoya's torn dignity, and Noya was officially exposed to be an airhead.

Let's just hope Hinata doesn't blab about this to anyone beside the whole volleyball team. Also Ennoshita kept teasing Nishinoya about this til they graduated.

A/N: it was funnier in my head. Also make sure to checkout episode 1.

[peachmilkmomo]

HAIKYUU EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS: EPISODE 1

Atsumu was weeping in the locker room while Suna and Osamu were almost out of oxygen and on the verge of throwing up due to laughing so hard.

Appearntly, Atsumu had a massive tear in his shorts, he ripped them while practicing and the guys kept quiet about it because they wanted to see how long it'll take him to finally notice, he didn't .

And they kinda forgot about it, till they saw him wandering outside the gym, students eyeing atsumu's bum as if it was one of the ancients wonders of the world, and his arrogant ass thought people were admiring him so he just kept his nose in the air while walking around, thinking people were admiring his "massive aura and charismatic presence topped with a lethal face card" as he likes to call himself.

Osamu kept quiet bacuse atsumu was being a jerk to him earlier and he wanted to see him get humbled, while Suna wouldn't let this go without documenting it for blackmailing later.

Atsumu kept wandering, talked to friends/fans, bent down several times flashing everyone, and even had the audacity to say "I know, hun" when some shy girl tried to warn him indirectly that "there's something about him that's attracting everyone's attention"

But the absolutely worst part was when he tried to impress the beautiful and popular senior who just kept making snarky comments about him along with her friends and laughing, and he believed that he's "earning the favor of the ladies".

Only 1 hour of socializing later that he finally went back to the locker room to change and realized that it wasn't his charm that attracted attention, but his cheeks hanging out of his shorts and he was on verge of tears, but then Suna and Osamu showing him a whole documentary of his cheeks spotted in the wild was his breaking point. He started crying loudly, blaming them incoherently between violent sobs for letting him go around like this and they almost felt bad for him but it was still hilarious. Kita had to actually intervene later to make them make up, but Atsumu's humiliation didn't really go he just learnt to deal with it.

Also did I mention that he was wearing boxers with his face printed on it that Osamu has gifted him as a joke, and unfortunately they were the only pair available on that day? Yeah not even a statement from the government is going to save him from the sick narcissistic allegations.

author's note: sorry for taking so long to post again, I just got a little busy and I decided to start this mini series to keep y'all entertained til I finish writing part 2 of the mafia AU. Please lmk your opinions and thanks for reading🥺.

[peachmilkmomo]

HAIKYUU MAFIA AU!

Hello guys! So this is my first post, those were some headcanons I wrote randomly in my best friend's chat back in 2021 and I decided to post them now! Obv I know nothing about mafia LMAO so I'm sorry if anything doesn't make sense. Hope you enjoy them!

Disclaimer: I don't own the art or any of the characters. ctto.

Great leadership skills, smart and cunning, knows how to keep his underlings under control, I can only see him as the perfect boss out of all other captains.

THE BOSS: kuroo.

CYBER SECURITY: kenma.

He's the hacker of the gang. Need to crack a code? He's handling it. Someone's trying to hack their system? Then they have brought this upon themselves. Need to access another gang's devices? A piece of cake for him.

As long as kenma is there, there's no worry of any cyber attacks bcz he's this reliable.

SPIES: so there are 3 groups of them.

(Yamaguchi, Kunimi, Konoha) Idk but I can imagine them being sneaky, easily sneaking in and out of any place, taking what they need without leaving a trace.

(Kiyoko, Saeko) They mostly handle old geezer gang bosses, they know how to use their beauty to make any guy lose his mind and give them any info they need without resorting to violence.

(Terushima, Atsumu) The male version of Kiyoko and Saeko, they know how to use their charm to get what they want from the ladies.

(Atsumu is smart but he's still a bit goofy and I can't help but feel like he may accidentally blow his cover if he doesn't lock in lmao)

PHYSICAL COMBAT: Daichi, Iwaizumi, Ushijima, Bokuto.

They're big, height or physique wise, and while iwaizumi may not be the tallest, he's surely strong enough. All of them in general can handle a close-range combat like it's nothing, I mean look at them, they can tackle anyone like they weight nothing. Basically beefcakes.

BACKUP FIGHTERS: Aone, Kyotani, Tanaka, Taketora.

First group wasn't enough? We have our backup group. Aone is built like a whole dam. The other 3 guys are just feral, they'll chew up anyone who gets in their way.

OBSERVING AND COLLECTING INFO: Tsukishima, Ennoshita, Asahi.

They're smart, observant, and can work fast. All they have to do is to observe their enemies in normal situations in order to collect the info they need, either for blackmailing or just to know the next moves of their enemies then they report it to the others. And they prefer this role because they don't have to clash with enemy gang members.

Author note: I actually have more but I figured that it's better to keep posts short. If y'all end up liking it I'll post part 2! Reposts and comments would be appreciated, and thanks for reading!

[peachmilkmomo]

Guys real question

I have a bit of social anxiety when it comes to social media, but I really want to revive the haikyuu Fandom because I refuse to let it die - I mean as long as I'm not dead myself -

Do y'all wish for more haikyuu content? Especially headcanons and fanfics, Because I'm thinking about starting publishing some works I've written privately.

If yes please lmk so I have more courage to post🙏🏼

[sleeping-jo]

I can’t sleep, I have to torture myself psychologically

[peachmilkmomo]

Me rn

[peachmilkmomo]

Forgot the word for "butcher" and the first thing that came to my mind was "meater" smh