educated garlix

fuck my fat baka chungus fudanshi life paraprofessional bearer of the curse the totally tubular type of transsexual he/him 20s mdni

[the-frog-blog]

“What if I derp?”

Oh my child, but what if you me gusta?

[dogpuppy]

Northernlion

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

you come onto my post and be funnier than me

[weaselle]

skillet issue

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

[dogpuppy]

[dughole]

i wish he would come down from heaven & kill every instagram fitness liquid diet ozempic green juice low calorie food blogger

[freakoutgirl]

how it feels to accept you're fucked forever

[pansyfemme]

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

[hailraykin-deactivated20230814]

Reblog to give mutuals a break from whatever they're been going through

[despazito]

they won't return my calls but i think i'm onto something

[despazito]

another

[ambienne]

This tweet means a lot to me.

[ambienne]

It’s probably a really cool and good sign that this post I made in 2014 is going around again, right?

[laterkiss]

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

[laterkiss]

don't worry kitten daddy got it

[laterkiss]

start worrying kitten daddy fucked up

[twocubes]

"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

[utopians]

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

[calamitysong]

in the bar passing the phone around saying “have you read this poem? have you read this poem?”

[charlesoberonn]

Worldbuilder: I can't use this town name again, it'd be confusing for the reader.

Real life people: This is a great spot for another Springfield.

[rubysapphrald]

i feel so defensive and protective of people with ARFID like if i had a disorder that made my brain register 90% of food as poison for no reason and i had a bazillion people on the internet constantly calling me a manchild who needs to just grow up and stop being a picky eater i would start killing people