Music’s Most Dangerous Immortal Fresh off his tour stop in Fort Wayne, Indiana, Lestat de Lioncourt opens up—reluctantly—about music, fame, and fandom
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Music’s Most Dangerous Immortal Fresh off his tour stop in Fort Wayne, Indiana, Lestat de Lioncourt opens up—reluctantly—about music, fame, and fandom
Bolaire Is Not Remorseless
I have seen many posts describing Bolaire as a "remorseless serial killer." For a start, I don't think Bolaire is a serial killer any more than a Cordyceps fungus is a serial killer. Taking over people's bodies is simply a matter of survival, not of sadism or thrill. Of course, unlike a Cordyceps fungus, Bolaire is capable of moral reasoning, which brings me to my main point: just because Bolaire never says out loud "I feel guilt about my means of survival" doesn't mean he doesn't feel any guilt about it.
I point this out not to excuse Bolaire's actions or let him off the hook. Rather, I want to talk about Bolaire's guilt because it provides an opportunity for character development down the line. If he didn't feel any guilt or shame about his current lifestyle, it'd be pretty hard for him to have an arc about it.
Because Bolaire doesn't clearly articulate his feelings of guilt, we're going to need to do some analysis of the text. Let's dive in.
Castep
Castep is the name of Bolaire's host in the episode 13 cold open. He was a soldier in the Falconer's Rebellion, and he chose to wear Bolaire in order to contribute to the war effort.
At the beginning of this flashback, Bolaire is subservient to Castep and to the other soldiers, obeying whatever they ask of him and responding honestly to all queries. It is important to point out here that it is not in Bolaire's nature to be subservient. First off, it would be pretty weird to inscribe a rune that compels and enchants people into a mask that is meant to be subservient. Second, according to Taliesin's comments in his interview with The Character Sheet, Bolaire's programming consists of two directives: defeat tyrants and love his siblings. In the Tale Gate for the Schemers, Taliesin said that Bolaire's character was an intellectual, and a cross between Elle Woods and Regina George: a mean girl rules lawyer. None of this points toward Bolaire having any subservience in him to begin with. All of this means that Bolaire either decided on his own to bend his will to the rebel soldiers who wore him, or he had subservience beaten into him, perhaps with the threat of putting him in a box, a possibility that clearly frightened him in the flashback.
When Bolaire did decide in the flashback that he was going to take over Castep's body permanently, he didn't just say "I'm sorry"; he also promised to Castep that in exchange for his bodily autonomy, he would fight out the rest of the war that Castep put his life on the line, and willingly wore Bolaire, to win. I really don't see why Bolaire would bother fighting for two more years of a war that he clearly didn't want to fight anymore (he was tired, so tired, and wanted to be something new) unless it was to assuage his own guilt for what he'd done to Castep. I think this view is reinforced by the fact that Bolaire's preferred human disguise in the present day is Castep. He feels haunted by this soldier who shared his belief in defeating tyrants, whose life he stole away.
Morality Trials
In the play from the flashback, Rauwyn puts Sir Clynheld through a series of trials to prove his worth. Bolaire clearly took this to heart, because in the present day, he has only taken hosts that have failed his moral standards. (Again, I am not justifying this behavior, and I am not saying his victims deserve what they get; I'm just describing what I observe Bolaire doing.)
Let's consider Bolaire body-snatching Aubrus Drime in episode 4. Bolaire set up a rather elaborate scenario. He told Drime in advance to bring payment, because he had a cool magical artifact for him. He then showed up an exchanged an empty box for the money. Drime responded by attacking Bolaire, stealing him ("his mask") off his previous host, and clearly would have killed the previous host were they not already mostly dead ("Well, won't even have to kill ya. Looks like you're on death's door.") Drime then saw the rune and was compelled to put Bolaire on.
Now let's think for a second. This is a very inefficient way to get a new host. If Bolaire truly did not give a flying fuck about morality or anything, he has the spell Suggestion; he could just enchant someone into putting him on. Even if he were out of spell slots, there are much simpler ways to get someone to put him on, with a higher probability of success. Off the top of my head, he could go to a doctor and say, "Hey doc, I wear this mask to cover up an old injury of mine, can you check on my old injury?" and BAM, doctor gets nabbed. Hell, Bolaire has money. He could just find someone poor and desperate and pay them to put him on. So why did Bolaire go through all this rigmarole?
It's because this was a test for Drime. It was a morality trial, like the trials in the play about Rauwyn. Drime could have handled the situation in any number of ways. He could have asked Bolaire why the box was empty and tried to negotiate or reason with him. He could have taken the money back and told everyone in Potter's Field that Bolaire was a cheat and they shouldn't make deals with him. He could have threatened Bolaire and demanded that he take Drime to his stash of magic goods. Drime didn't do any of those things. Instead, he chose to attack and steal, and would have killed, if Bolaire's previous host hadn't already been mostly dead. By Bolaire's standards, Drime earned his fate: he made the immoral choice, and now the monster got him.
Now let's fast-forward to episode 22, and the Crow Keeper who Bolaire body-snatched with Hal's assistance. Bolaire didn't need to morality test that Crow Keeper, because he already knew what he'd done: he and his fellows had kidnapped and beaten Demodus Blix to within an inch of his life, and were about to sell him to a mold monster.
I think it's pretty clear that Bolaire in the present day is only willing to take over the bodies of people who he feels have earned that fate. In the case of Aubrus Drime, he went to pretty convoluted lengths to make sure that Aubrus would only succumb to him if he chose violent theft. Why would Bolaire go to all that trouble if he didn't feel any guilt at all about what he does to his hosts?
Body Dysmorphia
Bolaire clearly feels dysmorphic about his host bodies:
"This is me, unfortunately stuck to this. I need this, but I'm not in here." (episode 4)
Why does Bolaire feel that it's so unfortunate that he's stuck to his host body? He is a humanoid face, after all, not too different from the face underneath him. He was made to wear a being with a humanoid body plan; it seems doubtful that he could wear a Hound of the King or something like that. It's by no means a given that he would feel that this was unfortunate. I put it to you that at least part of the reason he doesn't like wearing host bodies is the guilt.
Guilt's the Best Part
In episode 20, after Murray and Bolaire were done planting a terrifying illusion in Groto's head, they had this exchange:
Murray: "I feel a little guilty. Let's get back to Hal."
Bolaire: "Guilt is the best part."
I don't think Bolaire was being flippant here. He meant it. He does feel guilt, and the reason why he thinks that guilt is the best part is that only someone with free will can meaningfully feel guilt. If you are completely subservient to others and take no actions of your own accord, the way Bolaire used to live, then there's no reason to feel guilt, because you have no responsibility for any of your actions.
The leadup to the Stab
Y'all, Bolaire's offer to Hal to come see how his body snatching works is not given in the spirit of a mask who feels no guilt or shame about it. It's really, really not.
"It doesn't have to be you, but it is an imperative that I ask you first because I owe it to you. I don't think it's healthy and I don't think you'll like it, but it is not a secret I am-- It's not a secret I can keep from you. If you want to see the worst of me, you can wait." (episode 22)
And take a look at Bolaire's face while he's explaining to Hal what's about to happen:
How Bolaire treats his hosts
The most common argument that I see for why Bolaire is "remorseless" is the way he treats his hosts. Clearly, he does not treat them well. He could try his best to keep them comfortable and well-maintained and so forth, but he doesn't. But here's the thing: I've lived enough in this fucked-up world to know that just because someone feels guilt about how they are treating you does not necessarily mean that they are going to treat you better than someone who doesn't feel any guilt about mistreating you.
Programming and Reprogramming
I wanted to elaborate on a point I made in this post about how Bolaire's nature has changed over the years, and the extent to which his programming can be altered.
In his confession in episode 4, Bolaire described himself as essentially having no free will until he saw his first play in the year 53:
"And then one day, during the Falconer's Rebellion, I suddenly had the first thought that hadn't been put in my head when I was created. I had realized that the play I was written for was long over. I was a character whose play had ended and I had just been left there, waiting, just running through the motions, and I suddenly knew there must be more."
When I first watched the year 53 flashback in the episode 13 cold open, I assumed that Bolaire's behavior at the beginning of the flashback was the way he had been created to be: a weapon to be used by whoever wore him. Just as Bolaire said in the confession, he was carrying out his programming, his directives, his character, until he was inspired to try being something else. But now that we know more about what Bolaire was created to be, I don't think that's quite right.
Bolaire's behavior at the beginning of that flashback was completely subservient. He did whatever the soldiers around him asked him to do and replied honestly to all queries. He also seems to be used by the people who wear him as a sort of magical battery to provide offensive spells. But now that we know more about Bolaire's nature, it doesn't really make sense for him to be some kind of subservient killing machine. First off, it would be pretty weird to inscribe a rune that compels and enchants people into a mask that is meant to be subservient. Second, according to Taliesin's comments in his interview with The Character Sheet, Bolaire's programming consists of two directives: defeat tyrants and love his siblings. In the Tale Gate for the Schemers, Taliesin said that Bolaire's character was an intellectual, and a cross between Elle Woods and Regina George: a mean girl rules lawyer. In the episode 13 flashback, Bolaire says that he and his siblings convinced Rauwyn that she couldn't exist. None of this points to some kind of obedient Winter Soldier who kills on command. If anything, Bolaire's present-day persona is more similar to his character in the Panto than his persona in the flashback.
This opens up two possibilities, both equally interesting. Either Bolaire chose to become a servant to the will of the soldiers who used him, or he was coerced into doing so. Either way, it casts Bolaire as an unreliable narrator. He seems to believe that he didn't change at all in the 56 years since the Panto, but maybe he did, and he was in fact capable of change all along.
I can definitely see an argument for Bolaire having chosen to become a subservient weapon. His most important core directive in his programming, one that according to Taliesin is completely immutable, is to defeat tyrants. The soldiers who used him in the Falconer's Rebellion were certainly trying to do that, and the ones who used him before may well have been doing that too. Perhaps as he was awakened over and over again after the Panto, he offered himself up as a servile weapon against tyranny, following an idiosyncratic moral code.
I also think it's very possible that he was coerced into behaving this way. In the year 53 flashback, when the soldiers said they ought to put Bolaire "back in the box", he looked frightened. He seems to have a fear of being put in a box and put to sleep for an unknown period of time, perhaps years, until someone else wears him, which is pretty understandable. Over the years, different soldiers and causes may have used the threat of the box to get him to behave as their perfect killing machine, subservient to their will. Until one day, he saw a play, and decided to take his chance to be something else.
your hands are gravity while my hands are tied
I've been in a bit of an art funk lately, so I decided to do a little redraw of this piece from 2021.
here's where to find it on windows 10
For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.
Happy pride month to her and her exclusively
she made a comic about the experience on twitter
happy pride
An Update from back in October I'm surprised wasn't added to this post. lol
Jensen Ackles | The Boys | Entertainment Weekly
My piece for the Sing O Muse zine! Its coming out in July so keep an eye out for the tag :]
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random PSA, I know a lot of people use duckduckgo as a Google alternative search engine, but it always kind of annoyed me when I was using it because it felt like No Name Brand Google
I have switched to using Startpage.com and vastly prefer it. for one thing, instead of displaying an "AI summary" at the top of the search results (unless you turn it off, yes I know), it displays the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, with link, whenever it finds one that's relevant.
also a waaayyyyy better sense of design than duckduckgo
also private, European based, least annoying search I've used lately (RIP old "don't be evil" Google)
Keeping a list of Google alternatives just in case…
i have one of those, scraped from multiple different rec posts:
Search Engines
Infinity Search is an alternative search engine with a special focus on privacy
DuckDuckGo is a popular search engine for those who value their privacy and are put off by the thought of their every query being tracked and logged. Uses bangs, ![site] for in-page search (sells your data to microsoft and draws from fucking bing)
WolframAlpha is a privately owned search engine that allows you to “compute expert-level answers using Wolfram’s breakthrough algorithms, knowledgebase, and AI technology.” A data search engine.
Boardreader is a search engine for forums and message boards. It allows you to search forums and then filter down results by date and language.
Based in France, Qwant is a privacy-based search engine that won’t record your searches or use your personal details for advertising. Uses “&” as a bang search.
Another privacy-based search engine is Search Encrypt, which uses local encryption to ensure that users’ identifiable information cannot be tracked. Metasearch across multiple engines.
Offering unbiased results from several sources, SearX is a metasearch engine that aims to present a free, decentralized view of the internet. Can be self-hosted.
Gibiru’s tagline is “Unfiltered private search” and that’s exactly what it offers. Requires AnonymoX Firefox add-on for privacy.
Disconnect allows you to conduct anonymous searches through a search engine of your choice.
Swisscows provides fully encrypted searches to protect your privacy and security. Built-in violence/porn filter cannot be overridden.
MetaGer offers “Privacy Protected Search & Find” through its anonymised search. A plugin will allow it to be made a default.
Gigablast is a private search engine that indexes millions of websites and servers real-time information without tracking your data, keeping you hidden from marketers and spammers. Variety of filtration and refinement options for searching.
Oscobo is a search engine that protects your privacy while you search the web. By not using any third-party tools or scripts, your data is protected from hacking and misuse. Has a Chrome extension to allow use in toolbar.
https://search.marginalia.nu/ an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed. Use old-school searching rather than query-based for the best results.
https://www.mojeek.com/
https://wiby.me/ - It’s goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites.
https://4get.ca/ it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesn’t have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think it’s the best for research, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can.
https://www.searchenginemap.com/ for more on how search engines relate to each other.
https://yep.com/ is a crawler
https://www.etools.ch/ retrieves from Google, Mojeek, Bing, and Yandex, like Searx
https://www.dogpile.com/
https://searxng.org/ (next gen Searx)
https://luxxle.com/ - possibly conservative?
https://presearch.com/ - good for academic?
https://kagi.com/smallweb - free/randomised Kagi.
Other Searchers
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.https://cosine.club/ is an electronic music similarity search engine
shirahama's hatching process
I was surrounded by the people I loved, and we were all laughing. That’s all it was, but that was enough. I thought it would last forever.
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
I’m thinking about all the posts I’ve seen regarding Bolaire and Thjazi and Taliesin’s reads on Bolaire and Thjazi, and I don’t really think there’s that much of a conflict.
Taliesin knows that Bolaire isn’t a good person. His entire build of Bolaire’s personality has been oriented around the contradiction between the innocent parts (his love of theatre, his genuine attachment to Hal) and the deeply disturbing parts (the fact that he’s a serial killer who parasitizes people, the way he cruelly taunts his hosts, practically the entirely of his combat spells being variations on “creepy mindfuckery”). The iconic line at the end of his intro flashback about how he’s going to be better, he’s going to find out who he is, but first he has to murder all these people in their sleep, is the intentional encapsulation of who Bolaire is as a character. He’s decidedly not Just A Little Guy. He’s high on my list of Characters Most Likely To Cause PVP (Vaelus started out high but has been declining, Occtis started out low but has been rising, Julien remains fairly high; Wick is rising a bit but only on the possibility that someone ices him for being annoying). And we still don’t know the true state of things between him and Thjazi because of the Nat 20 vs Nat 1 thing.
As far as things with Thjazi go: Bolaire doesn’t like him, and it sems like Taliesin doesn’t like him. (Though I haven’t ruled out the possibility that Taliesin’s partly doing an act. It stood out to me that in the Tale Gate he talked about lying by omission and then immediately said that line about one person in the friend group being awful without directly specifying he was talking about Thjazi, and therefore leaving it open that he was talking about Bolaire.). But even if he doesn’t: his stated position was that Thjazi was working towards good ends but was ruthless about them – not that Thjazi is the villain of the piece. I question that Thjazi was ruthless, precisely, but we now have ever-stronger indications that he was reckless, with his projects very likely being the cause of the closing of the doors to Faerie, with devastating consequences for a large number of people including his best friend Thimble and his wife. And he lied to Thimble about that. Even the ability to lie to such a close friend about something that big and that harmful to them when you’ve just found out about it, rather than, say, having an apologetic breakdown, shows something about a person!
I suspect – based on what we’ve seen so far, my read on Brennan, and some of the plot and character lines in Cloudward Ho! – that the theme here (the secondary theme, after the blatant one of “aristocrats are evil”) is going to be a takedown of the Great Man theory of history. That Thjazi was genuinely and sincerely committed to good ends, but he also had major screw-ups; the number of cards he held close to his chest (with good reason! an underground movement needs secrecy!) made it hard to reconstruct things when he died; and in the end a large group of people working together to pick up the pieces did as well as or better than he could have done, precisely because they were a large group of people with a wide range of approaches and skills.