Shakey Knees

just a lil dude. (17)

[glavilio]

[honeyybrii]

shane effortlessly defying ilya's internal self deprecation with the most blunt, heartstopping, to the point sincerity is such an important part of their dynamic to me

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

and ilya has that exact same subtly gobsmacked expression every time he does it

[knifefightscene]

[mollybeenoel]

Rest in Peace, Sam Neill (1947-2026) 🕊️

[allesfresser]

Oh baby

[bambicoded]

ilyapie :)

[dumbass-writer]

“I could marry svetlana” said faux nonchalantly with a ramrod tense spine while holding back the intense fear he’s going to leave

“ is she, I don’t know, someone you’d want to marry?” said with every muscle in his body clenched, fight or flight active, and genuine tears building in his eyes

[providing-leverage]

#myshane has a policy, after they're married, of never apologizing for Ilya. Partly because if he starts, he'll spend the rest of his life doing it. Mostly because he agrees with pretty much everything Ilya says/does, or at least finds it hot.

Chirping other players, on and off the ice? That's just hockey. Ilya knows where the line is and if he crosses it, you deserve it. Saying shit in press conferences that no one else ever would? Shane's actually more upset that his years of media training means he'll never be able to bring himself to respond that way. Being unhinged on the internet? Shane is blushing and kicking his feet.

Furthermore, Shane knows the importance of being a united front now. Even if Ilya did something that upset him (I think talking candidly about their sex life to the public would do it, and pretty much nothing else) he would never scold Ilya in front of others. Because Ilya is his partner, not his child.

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[raincitygirl76]

So, the documentary in The Long Game about Shane and Ilya’s rivalry. What a fucking embarrassment for ESPN and everybody involved in its creation!

You direct a sports documentary about two of the greatest hockey players in the world. And how they were bitter rivals but eventually became friends and even started a charity together. It’s good, juicy, it gets excellent ratings, and is possibly award winning. The future is bright.

ESPN’s publicists keep talking about how you had unprecedented levels of access to these superstars, and meticulously combed through over a decade of footage of them. The only thing viewers grumble about is that they still don’t know why Ilya Rozanov left Boston for Ottawa. It’s the one mystery of their rivalry that you couldn’t unravel. But overall, the reactions are very positive. A professional triumph for you.

And then only a month later, the whole world (including you) is astonished to find out that these heated rivals have been in a serious and secret romantic relationship for years!!! And you missed the whole thing! One (1) month ago.

The documentary would quickly go from jewel in the crown to albatross around the neck of everybody involved in it. Because you did all this research, you had all this access, and yet you didn’t have a clue. They’re together? They’re getting fucking married? Ilya Rozanov moved to Ottawa because he was more in love with Shane Hollander than he was with being on a cup winning team?

Oh my God, ESPN would be contemplating destroying every copy of the documentary they commissioned, and which had great ratings. Everybody involved in making it has to log into LinkedIn and delete it from their professional history.

Hockey fans keep rewatching it, but not because they like it anymore. Because they can’t believe not even the professionals figured it out, and are looking for clues. The director will be strongly considering flying to Canada to murder both his documentary subjects.

[toppingilyarozanov]

[gaynehollander]

What Shane says: I think I’m gay

What he means: This is it for me. There is no way out and it’s not the same for you. You could find someone who the public would accept as your chosen partner; get married, have kids. You could move on from this but I never will. For you, this is fleeting. You will eventually get me out of your system and find a nice girl to settle down with but, for me, this is as good as it gets.

What Ilya hears: So after roughly seven years of dropping to my knees in front of you at the slightest provocation and taking your dick like I was born to do it I started thinking… I might like men.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

if you leave this kind of comment on any fanfic writer’s work or if you think this shit is okay and isn’t the reason more and more writers are choosing not to share their works with your entitled ass for free anymore, you should be ashamed of yourself.

if you suspect a fic is ai and if that bothers you, quietly close the tap and leave the fic. no one forces you to stay.

[frontmansdefender]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some people don’t deserve fanfics, much less for free.

also even if authors didn’t tag any specific warnings but they used the “creator chose not to use archive warnings” tag, then that is your warning.

“omg you should’ve —” no one forced your entitled ass to read anything. fanfic writers write for themselves and their own enjoyment. if you don’t like what you’re reading, quietly leave. ao3 is not an airport. no one cares about your departure so no need to announce it.

[stilinscute]

Shane’s ideal birthday: just wants to be fucked six ways to Sunday, wants to spend literal hours in subspace, begs Ilya to let him cockwarm him, passes out at the end of the day sore and used and blissful.

Ilya’s ideal birthday: Shane takes him to the zoo, buys him a plushie from the gift shop, and Ilya cries when they visit the penguin exhibit. and THEN he gets to edge Shane until he’s a whimpering mess.

[upset-to-dead]

Ilya: If i died, I would want you to remarry

Shane: ...

Ilya: I want you to be happy, so don't close yourself off to new opportunities if I'm no longer there

Shane: ...

Ilya: Just remember the good times we had and maybe make some more good times, yeah?

Shane: ...

Ilya: Shane?

Shane: If you die, I will never touch a man so long as I live which won't be long at all

Ilya, bursting into tears: Oh thank god