Petrichor's Garden

“God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.” J.M. Barrie

[sapphiccanadian]

yeah, Scott Hunter knows vs Scott Hunter doesn't know is good and all, but we have to entertain possibly the funniest option being Scott Hunter doesn't give a FUCK

[last-iso-quorra]

[freshlydelivereddarce]

TODAYS THE DAY SALAD BOY

[purple-confusion]

Happy ides of march 2026 I bring you Julius Caesar weighted pincushion for consideration

[kosmogrl]

every day I wake up and it’s fucking january

[kosmogrl]

[groovysarity]

[spotforme]

this feels the same as being rick-rolled

[miseria-fortes-viros]

ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

[miseria-fortes-viros]

my brother in christ frankenstein is the title of the book

[warlockofagnesi]

COUNTERPOINT

[miseria-fortes-viros]

well i can’t argue with that one

[quacksmith]

Ah yes, Mary Shelley’s monster.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

no mary shelley is the name of the monster not the doctor

[villainessbian]

common misconception! mary shelley's monster was actually lord byron

[wholesome-animal-images]

[theriu]

Ah yes, the rare bathray

[quinnick]

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

[mrs-delaney]

Please take your vitamin D

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[geminiagentgreen]

[system-a-naturae]

[silbervvind]

[yorgen-sh]

[da-boy-o-kultur]

New Olympic discipline. Synchronized Cleaning

[tricktster]

a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. like tonight my friend’s three year old saw me eating blue corn chips.

kid: what are you eating from that basket?

me: triangles.

kid: can i have triangles?

me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?

kid: no

me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?

kidd: what???

me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?

kid: i am not afraid of screaming.

me: you’re very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don’t you go show your dad your new power, i gotta go.

[unnameablethings]

op u live up to ur username

[tricktster]

Checking back in years later as a person who now has a four year old and a six year old and finally understands just how awful it is to have small children randomly screeching at maximum volume in a way that only someone with lived experience can

this is still very, very funny.

this may be one of the funniest things i’ve ever done actually.

[cosmonautroger]

Leonor Fini, Metamorphosis Of A Woman, 1972

[epilepticsaints]

[if-you-see-gay-me]

[magnetictapedatastorage]

[heatandapathy]

Needs the last part

[captainscarletsc]

[scoundrellyfeline]

@heatandapathy you forgot the best part

[tsamired]

you are never living this down

[fleshdyke]

godawful post i made when i was 14. let me escape it please god

[augustdementhe]

IT'S GLASS.

This is "Arras", by Mark Lewanski, and the medium is G L A S S.

Just incredible.

[ph-cutie]

Our inquiry for the pronouns of the most humble man alive was refused, "I haven't done anything that makes me worth talking about in third person"