[I am large, I contain multitudes]

This is where I come to procrastinate.

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[treasuredplanet]

in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

[sevens-for-dawn]

[Image description: a text exchange, all in caps.

Sending: "Guess how many words I wrote today"

Receiving: "[four eye emojis]

Receiving: "How many?"

Sending: "You don't have to guess I'm going to tell you"

Sending: "1"

Description ends.]

[thethirdromana]

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

[queer-crows-nightmare]

[necromancelena]

Die temu ad die

[necromancelena]

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

[chef-boy-ar-girl]

It accidentally is latin

[saanah]

Accidental latin is my new favourite thing.

[santapau]

Found this in the margins of a medieval manuscript.

[qqueenofhades]

This is a very charming illustration and I do approve of Accidental Latin, but unfortunately, that is not what this (Fake) Accidental Latin actually says. Google Translate seems to think "temu" is identical to "timor" (infinitive, "to fear"), which would then be conjugated in first-person singular as "timeo" ("I fear"). "Temu" is not a word in Latin. So that is a very weird leap on Google Translate's part to turn gibberish into... something vaguely etymologically similar sounding? Hmm.

Next, "die" does mean "day," though nominative singular is "dies," i.e. "dies irae." It could be conjugated "die" if it was in ablative or locative case, but "die ad die" would mean something more like "day to day." "Ad" is in a "to" direction and "ab" is from, i.e. "ab urbis," and ablative case is used to indicate the movement of a thing. In short, "by" is not really a way to translate "ad"; we might want "per" here? (Through, by means of, etc.)

Not to mention, it would be weird to put one "die" at the start and another at the end The verb also usually goes at the end in Latin sentences, just for that extra bit of fun. So yes, in short, this is not actually Latin, and Google Translate is very bad at Latin in particular. Nonetheless, still charming.

[nudistcat]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[sekkitsune]

Agree, @qqueenofhades, except on the matter of breaking “die ad die” apart. It’s a common structure in poetic and oratorical Latin to jam one phrase in the middle of another. I can’t think of an example exactly parallel to this construction, but I could believe a Roman poet would write it!

[qqueenofhades]

Ah, that is true. My Latin is of the reading-medieval-documents (particularly charters and/or chronicles) variety, where the sentence and usage structures are often more formulaic and there is less poetic license to move words around. There is obviously far less fixity for word order in Latin, since the conjugations explain how they grammatically relate to each other rather than placement in the sentence. (Coincidentally, this is why I used to say that the best feeling in the world was walking past a Latin classroom and not having to go inside it. Ahem.)

So yes: true that poetical Latin might be more at liberty to split the "die"-s up that far, though "timeo" (verb) is still more likely in most cases to go at the end, which would place them together anyway ("die ad die timeo," "day to day I fear" if translated in strict word order, which would make sense to an English speaker and sound more poetic anyway). Keep in mind, however, that my Latin is a) fairly rusty and b) mostly used for said formulaic legal document reading rather than freeform verse, so don't super-hard quote me on this.

[sekkitsune]

I saw that ablative “die” and that final -u on “temu” and thought of the ablative supine (as in “mirabile dictu”) but as you observe, there isn’t a verb that “temu” could be, and then also, the ablative supine requires an adjective, as far as I know.

But perhaps “temu” is a hapax legomenon (in which case we would need the rest of the text to gloss it) or a scribal error for temeratu, from temero, “I defile or disgrace”. In that case, and in true Tumblr form, I might translate it as “daily I disgrace, in the manner of the day”, with some errors attributable to the scribe.

[qqueenofhades]

....oh my god. You might be a genius. Because what else does Tumblr do but daily disgrace [itself, oneself, and/or numerous others] in the manner of the day, and make numerous scribal errors.

[laurenthemself]

how dare you say we error on the scribes

[jtimu]

this is what happens when you buy your latin on temu

[ovadioisdead-blog]

im in actual disbelief that this just happened while i was writing down this joke to remember later

[seekingstars]

HOW’S THAT HOUSE THAT RAISED YOU? - Lev St. Valentine

[stabbydragon]

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#looked up and thought ‘that can’t be hard’#and then my eyes widened with horror as I realized the sheer number of rectangles everywhere#I’m . I’m horrified

It's a good shape!

[64mpg]

lyrics DO NOT 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️❌❌🚫🚫 have to be good 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️ for the song to be good 👍😎😎😎

[64mpg]

[duckdotcom]

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

[ancient-debris]

Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.

[frightfullytreeish]

[solarchaotica]

[static-mutt-left-deactivated202]

You're evil and you know it

[communismlives]

good thing they're hidden from god and the devil

[everyday-cutephoto]

[ailithnight]

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

[marlynnofmany]

And it's gonna getcha

[victusinveritas]

[allyourlife]

my fav calvin n hobbes joke and no one ever puts it anywhere

[sztupy]

Landmark German ruling declares Google's AI Overviews are Google's own words and makes it liable for false answers

A German regional court has ruled that Google is directly liable for the content of its AI search overviews. According to the court, previou

[ayeforscotland]

Let’s fucking go

[made-in-manetheren]

This is HUGE.

1. The court holds Google responsible for statements made by its AI, considering them Google's statements (search engines have limited liability for results in their engine as they're the words of other sites/companies/people), meaning when their AI lies/hallucinates they're liable for the defamation/harm resulting from those statements.

2. Google's defense that customers are generally aware of the lack of reliability and are responsible for fact checking was dismissed. As the court pointed out, that would "significantly diminish" AI Search's stated purpose and it can't be distinguished from Google's business practices/statements as a search tool.

3. Studies have found about 91% of Google's everyday AI responses are accurate, leaving millions of searches per HOUR with potential liability for falsehoods. 56% of correct responses weren't supported by the sources the AI listed. Both of which mean Google is now liable for a LOT more AI "errors."

4. Google was held liable for 80% of court costs in this case and this precedent is expected to reverberate around the world. This is a massive shift from the 3rd-party search provider role Google has previously played and it comes right as they've tied ALL searches to their AI search.

TL;DR Google reeeeeally stepped in it this time.

[utopians]

Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway

[laikathestar]

[oodles-of-reblogs]

@thatlittleegyptologist my most sincere apologies for inflict this upon your eyeballs, but I simply refuse to suffer alone

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Bro put the Eye of Horus all over his car instead of the Eye of Ra. Cringe.

[insimafdat]

Unsure if I’m translating this correctly since the grouping is a little weird to my untrained eye but please correct me if I’m wrong lmao.

nk.t idt

Nk refers to intercourse, and it has the suffix pronoun .t which refers to the second person feminine. I believe this is in the imperative as it’s a command? But I really don’t have a strong grasp of ancient Egyptian grammar.

idt refers to the vulva or womb, but idt here I think is written backwards? Judging off the reading order from hieroglyphs V31 and D52 in the previous word.

So in all I think this translates to “You fuck your pussy”?? But I’m 90% sure I’m incorrect here.

@thatlittleegyptologist Maybe you can pick out all my mistakes translating your insult lmao

[thatlittleegyptologist]

.t can be the marker of a feminine verb or speaker (it’s not a pronoun, that’s =s the folded cloth which marks the first person feminine. Second person feminine is always =k), but it can also be used to mark the passive, a stative (which is in the passive), a relative form, and several other things. There are no pronouns in this sentence as they would come after the determinative and neither do.

Here the .t ending *is* marking the feminine but only because it’s agreeing with jd.t which is a feminine noun. Adjectives always agree in gender and number with the thing they’re describing. I’m also using it as a passive stative, so it takes on a descriptive “in the state of” sense. nk.t does mean to fuck, and yes I’m using it in the imperative. jd.t means vulva/vagina, but I’m using a far more colloquial word than pussy.

nk.t jd.t means “fucking cunt”

[robertreich]

Today’s IPO of SpaceX could turn out to be the universe’s largest Ponzi scheme, and you and I are paying part of the price whether we like it or not. Let me explain...

[gospozha-dafina]

[oddarette]

Yep, I made a frutiger aero soft soap alien… 💧🐠🤍🫧🧼